CHUD.com Community › Forums › THE MAIN SEWER › CHUD.COM Main › NICK NUNZIATA'S WORST 10 OF 2010
New Posts  All Forums:Forum Nav:

NICK NUNZIATA'S WORST 10 OF 2010

post #1 of 50
12/26/10 at 3:10pm
Thread Starter 
Hate, is what I am.

More...
Reply
post #2 of 50
12/26/10 at 3:24pm
There is not nearly enough bad in Splice to make it worthy for this list.

And, as someone who had every inclination to fucking despise the flick, I gotta emphasize that the Karate Kid remake actually is pretty damn good.
Reply
post #3 of 50
12/26/10 at 3:25pm
But were you entertained by the article? Because with these that's all I'm aiming for.
Reply
post #4 of 50
12/26/10 at 3:36pm
Fair enough. And yeah, article's still funny as hell, and I agree with every other pick.
Reply
post #5 of 50
12/26/10 at 3:42pm
How sad is it that I didn't even realize the posters were upside-down AND plastered with a negative anti-cross until I got down to Ga'HOOLE? Seriously, some of these movies were so evil that I didn't question the alterations. It actually suits Devil. Hahahaha

I was surprised by the inclusion of Splice, as well. But reading your reasoning made it make some sense. SOME!
Reply
post #6 of 50
12/26/10 at 3:47pm
I wouldn't be lying if I didn't say this is the one article I look forward to every year on this site, and boy did it deliver.

Thank you for acknowledging how fucking terrible Legion is. Seriously, the only thing that could have been worse is if it was made in the late 90's or early 00's and they made a video game for the PlayStation and/or Dreamcast which was released 18 months after the movie.

And a double thank you for tearing Alice in Wonderland another new asshole because it deserves it, however, Helena Bonham Carter was potentially the worst thing in that movie. I hope I never hear "OFF WITH THEIR HEADS!" again. I fell asleep during it and I still wanted to rip my eyes out.

Also just want to point out how horrible Kellan Lutz was in A Nightmare on Elm Street. The absolute worst actor in that and he's only in the opening scene. Understandable when you're a Twilight veteran.

Excellent list, once again. The upside-down cross gag was priceless.
Reply
post #7 of 50
12/26/10 at 3:51pm
Dig the poster gag, sir. Also happy to see ROBIN HOOD get such a shitting. Fuck that movie.
Reply
post #8 of 50
12/26/10 at 3:57pm
I'm happy to say I saw none of these. So I'll take your word for it that they suck balls. The poster gag is indeed glorious.
Reply
post #9 of 50
12/26/10 at 3:59pm
Fuck Robin Hood, indeed. I had myself fooled for a while into thinking it wasn't bad. But the second viewing made me feel bad for everyone involved.
Reply
post #10 of 50
12/26/10 at 4:04pm
My mom gave me a stack of DVDs for Christmas(somehow, they were all Warners, so they can be upgraded to Blu fairly easily if I decide to). Robin Hood was among them. I'm stuck between my loyalty to Ridley Scott, and the spectacularly venomous word of mouth, but either way i dread taking the cellophane off that thing.
Reply
post #11 of 50
12/26/10 at 4:09pm
It's a very fun read and it lifts my heart up where it belongs that something beautiful came out of some ugly states of affairs. The format is particularly splendid, especially the defenses and rebuttals.
Reply
post #12 of 50
12/26/10 at 4:14pm
Yeah, Splice has no business being on this list. Neither does Robin Hood actually. Not great, unnecessary, but well made.

The rest of the picks are indeed correct. And sadly, i saw most of them.
Reply
post #13 of 50
12/26/10 at 4:18pm
I saw most of these too, and the only one I can't get behind is Splice. I did love the "Shut up, Dren" though!
Reply
post #14 of 50
12/26/10 at 4:39pm
This list is an entertaining read but by hating on SPLICE you deserve to get reamed with a poison tail stinger without the benefit of hot mutant sex.
Reply
post #15 of 50
12/26/10 at 4:45pm
I want to fuck an owl in it's neckruffle.
Reply
post #16 of 50
12/26/10 at 5:01pm
I never know if lines like "Stanley Tucci's underground sensation station" are a specific reference or a complete non sequitur, but boy do they make me laugh. I laughed now just typing it.
Reply
post #17 of 50
12/26/10 at 5:15pm
I made it clear: Splice being on the list is about squandered opportunities. Not because it's some shit movie.
Reply
post #18 of 50
12/26/10 at 5:19pm
Not to dogpile, but it's telling that SPLICE's guilty parties aren't anyone who made the movie, just the shadow of a legendary filmmaker. Can't disagree with the rest of the picks (at least the ones I saw.) So I take it you didn't hate TRON LEGACY?

Btw, funny stuff.
Reply
post #19 of 50
12/26/10 at 8:25pm
Great article, loved the latin names.

I'm still annoyed I saw Robin Hood in the cinema, so very tedious, it feels like it should be playing on ITV1 on a Sunday night in 2003. Crowe's amazing roving accent almost makes it worthwhile though.
Reply
post #20 of 50
12/26/10 at 8:39pm
I wonder if it's bad that I really, really, really enjoyed DEVIL?

Okay. Shoot me now.
Reply
post #21 of 50
12/26/10 at 9:02pm
Well, I'll stick up for Splice being on that list, as it was the most disappointing movie of the year for me. Early on it looked like it could be a really interesting and intelligent thriller, a type of film we get far too few of. That as Dren evolves the film devolves into unimaginably stupid and generic horror schlock made me actually angry. The only I did more often than predict the next braindead action a character would make was to mutter, "Fuck you" at the screen.

I was hoping to see more films like Splice in the list, to be honest. Airbender, Alice, Devil and Cop Out all seem like easy targets to me, the kind of films that reeked of trouble from a mile away. Splice on the other hand has a decent-sized following among people with poor taste, making it a more interesting target.
Reply
post #22 of 50
12/26/10 at 9:20pm
So, SO glad that someone took Survival of the Dead to task. I've been surprised at the propensity of film fans to defend this one. While watching, I was wishing it was as good as Diary. Which is, ugh.

Also, as a rabid fan of the animated series, thank you for mentioning The Last Airbender. I rarely see movie adaptations of properties I like, but when I heard that M. Night Craps-the-bed-a-lot was directing, I had to see it. Just terrible.
Reply
post #23 of 50
12/26/10 at 9:34pm
Ok, as the lone person who saw Gulliver's Travels. It is indeed a very terrible film.
Reply
post #24 of 50
12/26/10 at 10:23pm
Everybody in The B-Thread knows how I feel about Legion, and I liked Survival Of The Dead, mostly for Kenneth Welsh's performance.

I agree on Splice. It could have had so much more done with it, but in the end it's terribly small in scope. I still liked it quite a bit, and the bizarreness that was on display, I was glad to have been able see on the big screen.

Great article once again, Nick! Really hilarious, and loved what you did with the posters.
Reply
post #25 of 50
12/26/10 at 10:34pm
Splice is one of my favorites of this year, but I don't disagree with any of Nick's criticisms. Its a flawed movie.

But if we're talking about squandered opportunities, wheres The Expendables?
Reply
post #26 of 50
12/26/10 at 11:11pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Tati View Post
Yeah, Splice has no business being on this list. Neither does Robin Hood actually. Not great, unnecessary, but well made.
Agreed.

Also Rene you aren't alone in liking Legion.
Reply
post #27 of 50
12/26/10 at 11:30pm
That's a comfort to know that, Johnny. Thought I was the only one.

To detract a bit from the subject of the thread, that Priest movie looks awful. I liked Legion, but I was laughing at the Priest trailer. Mostly at the cross shruikens.
Reply
post #28 of 50
12/27/10 at 1:19am
I'm in full agreement with ROBIN HOOD being on this list. Incredibly bland and a pretty bad script, to boot. It was boring, trite, and thoroughly predictable without having an iota of tension or suspense. Pretty to look at, for sure, but I wasn't buying a 50 year old Robin Hood. Nor did I buy the really awful, anachronistic and forced banter between Robin and Marian.
Reply
post #29 of 50
12/27/10 at 9:07am
It also doesn't help that the script doesn't even give much of a sense that Robin and Marian are having a love relationship together. Everything in ROBIN HOOD is so bland and overused.

Paul Bethany is the best thing in LEGION. The rest is pretty bad and illogical. I've a feeling that PRIEST is going to be the 2011 equal of LEGION next year.
Reply
post #30 of 50
12/27/10 at 10:28am
I saw Furry Vengeance and Tooth Fairy. Tooth Fairy was actually entertaining and I love hockey movies. Furry Vengeance scarred me mostly because I actually laughed once or twice.
Reply
post #31 of 50
12/27/10 at 11:46am
I hope you know how much I appreciated that CHUD Show callback with your "I like the concept of Tobin Bell" reference, Nick. Very funny. As much as the comment about Hayden Christensen's Takers hat.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Tati View Post
Yeah, Splice has no business being on this list. Neither does Robin Hood actually. Not great, unnecessary, but well made.
Just because something's put together nicely doesn't mean it's any good (or not massively disappointing.) Just ask I Am Legend.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Nick Nunziata View Post
I made it clear: Splice being on the list is about squandered opportunities.
This is like last year and Public Enemies all over again. "What place does a Mann movie have on this list?" etc.
Reply
post #32 of 50
12/27/10 at 11:57am
Exactly. I mean, it wasn't like I wanted to put a Guillermo movie on the fucking list. I just thought it was a nice balance of bad movies, missed opportunities, and bloated dickfires.
Reply
post #33 of 50
12/27/10 at 12:07pm
Just the way it should be!

Also, my compliments to the chef for his use of Tim Burton as a verb ("letting Tim Burton"), the Alice in Wonderland AKA's, and the Nightmare assessment.
Reply
post #34 of 50
12/27/10 at 12:22pm
Excellent article. I actually have avoided all of these movies except Alice In Wonderland. My wife cajoled me into watching that one, but I managed to avoid her advances of Legion & Splice. She watched those on her own, and both times told me I made the right choice.

And even my 8 year old son told me he didn't want to see The Last Airbender, because according to him, "It just looks dumb from the commercials."
Reply
post #35 of 50
12/27/10 at 3:09pm
I just Tim Burtoned all over myself.
Reply
post #36 of 50
12/27/10 at 3:27pm
Nick Nunziata, I fully agree with your...Worst of 2010. I am also, looking forward to the newest, update of...CHUD.COM, The Best Site on the internet!
Reply
post #37 of 50
12/27/10 at 3:37pm
I am fucking mad and ashamed by how many of the films on both lists I've seen.

And interesting that I missed Skyline for the exact same reasons as Nick. That shit was pulled here after maybe 22 seconds.
Reply
post #38 of 50
12/27/10 at 3:54pm
I gotta admit, after watching the epic failure that is JONAH HEX, that deserves the top spot on my list. Utterly incomprehensible and boring, that one. Too bad too, cuz that cast and character had such goodwill.
Reply
post #39 of 50
12/27/10 at 4:00pm
http://www.chud.com/articles/article...RAY/Page1.html
Reply
post #40 of 50
12/27/10 at 4:32pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by The Prankster View Post
I just Tim Burtoned all over myself.
Your projectile was gothic and repetitive? Your fluids have issues, dude.

And about this list, it just makes me very sad. Damn it Hollywood, stop being horrible!
Reply
post #41 of 50
12/27/10 at 4:57pm
Jonah may have been a lame movie, but I think Megan Fox hype overload killed all hope of at least a decent opening weekend.

That, and it's 81 minute runtime.
Reply
post #42 of 50
12/27/10 at 5:29pm
Barkatthemoon, Josh Brolin as Hex and the scene of the...horse mounted Gatling Guns alone, put's Jonah Hex, in my top 10.
Reply
post #43 of 50
12/27/10 at 6:01pm
I have to agree with ya on RobinHood as well. That was a movie I saw by default cause my uncle was in town, he wanted to see a movie and it was literally the only thing out at the time that we both hadn't seen. Truly horrible.

And I haven't seen splice yet, but if we're talking about missed opportunities then I'll echo the call about Expendables. That movie is the very definition of a missed opportunity and completely blown expectations. It just dropped the ball on every level.
Reply
post #44 of 50
12/27/10 at 6:02pm
More people need to stir shit over Splice being called a bad film.
Reply
post #45 of 50
12/27/10 at 6:24pm
So yeah, "bloated dickfire" is going in the lexicon. Also, "Defense: I shit my pants."

Survival of the Dead was Romero transparently wishing he could get money to make anything but zombie movies ever again. The Irish folklore was refreshing at least.

Staying on the pro-Splice side here. I can think of at least one movie this year that squandered more potential, and more resources, on a lesser idea.
Reply
post #46 of 50
12/27/10 at 6:31pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Nick Nunziata View Post
You're way too kind in that review. While watching it, I felt as if the director literally didn't understand the script that N/T handed him. Granted, it also feels as if he doesn't understand the finer points of filmmaking, but that'd be really presumptuous of me to assume.
Reply
post #47 of 50
12/27/10 at 6:44pm
Awesome article Nick. As always, entertaining as fuck.
Reply
post #48 of 50
12/27/10 at 8:09pm
Robin Hood bored the shit out of me, but Alice in Wonderland actively pissed me off. That material should have been right up Burton's alley, but the asinine decision to make Alice an amnesiac combined with the worst performance of Depp's career makes it far more offensive to me than Robin Hood.
Reply
post #49 of 50
12/28/10 at 2:27pm
great stuff Nick, this in particular...

Quote:
Latin: mutant floorhump interruptus
Reply
post #50 of 50
12/28/10 at 2:35pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pop Zeus View Post
You're way too kind in that review. While watching it, I felt as if the director literally didn't understand the script that N/T handed him. Granted, it also feels as if he doesn't understand the finer points of filmmaking, but that'd be really presumptuous of me to assume.
Brolin must shoulder a whole fuck of the blame for Hex sucking so bad. He was all over that movie. There was an article in a past Empire about the movie where he went into quite a depth about his contributions to it. And honestly, as much as I like him, I found him completely ill equipped for the job.
Reply
New Posts  All Forums:Forum Nav:
  Return Home
  Back to Forum: CHUD.COM Main
CHUD.com Community › Forums › THE MAIN SEWER › CHUD.COM Main › NICK NUNZIATA'S WORST 10 OF 2010