So it sounds like this might actually be happening under Ron Howard. And though I kinda doubt his ability to get any name actors to commit to five years or whatever, I'm all for it. They'd obviously have to change everything, but Dark Tower is so jacked up by the end that it's clearly to everyone's benefit that they do. Having just read Badass Digest's proposal for how it would all shake out, I was struck by how much I disagreed, so I thought I'd open a thread here to see if I could hash out a better one and also to see what others think about this seemingly impossible undertaking. By the way, this post is gonna be all nerdy MEGA SPOILERY fanwank, leaving aside the various quirks and irritations that make Dark Tower so imperfect. That's assumed to be understood, at this point.
For those unaware, Ron Howard's plan is one movie, followed by a TV season, followed by another movie, followed by another season (detailing Roland's backstory), and culminating in a final movie. We'll see if he can stick to that.
First Movie is predominantly Drawing of the Three. The original book isn't dramatized, although most everything from it could occur in either TV season, in an altered context. So this film might open with Roland and the Man in Black's palaver, or it might open with Eddie in New York, what the hell. I kind of prefer starting with Roland. We follow Drawing of the Three, learning the details of the Tower quest as it's explained to Eddie and Susanna. It ends as the book does, but with tons of Jake forshadowing.
First TV season is Wastelands. Jake finally arrives, not for the second time but for the first. So you've got the giant bear machine, the demon summoning, the Jake New York stuff, and all of Lud and Blaine the Mono. Ladle in adventures involving slow mutants, obese lady prophets, and speaking jawbones, maybe even the Little Sisters of Eluria, to get it up to a full season. It ends not on a cliffhanger, but basically where the first movie ends, save they're a bit farther along and Jake is with them.
Second Movie is largely Wolves of the Calla, probably altered somewhat in the particulars. It's a very cinematic story, basically a Seven Samurai riff. Included are many of the aspects of Song of Susannah (which really does not stand on it's own at all), and leaving off probably somewhere near the cliffhanger at the end of that story. Demon baby about to be born, horrible monsters everywhere.
Second TV season - All young Roland stuff. Comics, whatever. Anything extra not touched on yet. Probably involves Rhea of the Coos a lot more.
Final Movie is a better version of the last book, taking a lot of the best setpieces and changing their placement. Keep stuff like Dandelo, and Thunderclap, and Mordred (I guess), but put them together in a more pleasing order. All meta Stephen King stuff is cut. Jake doesn't die, but replaces Patrick Danville, which makes for a completely different ending, with a better Crimson King (or Flagg's the King, whatever). The very ending probably doesn't happen. A shame, but it probably doesn't.
So that's it. Simple.
