SEASON OF THE WITCH Post-Release Discussion

But, did you like it? 

Cage gets tempted with a Blowjob? I've got to see that!

I kind of liked it. Don't get me wrong, it's awful, but it's basically a Hercules episode with cage and perlman dicking around at the center. There's no reason to see it, but I did not find this to be the excruciating experience everyone else did. Some movies are supposed to end with an awful cgi demon flying around, and this is one of them.

This movie would have been better if it had just been Cage saying some bullshit, and Ron Perlman saying just about anything in reply. They had good banter and chemistry as friends, but god damn, this was like a bad escort quest in World of Warcraft or a really poorly done D&D campaign.

indeed the movie can be better, but the friend of mine was laughing during all film and in the end he told: "All these Hollywood bakers are crazy" :) Result - can watch, but don't expect too much.

Every time Ron Perlman headbutts someone, take a drink.

 

I liked how Nic Cage was so so so somber and dead serious, but there's that one shot early on of him with a woman and a beer in his hand at the bar, and I assumed he thought they were going to do ADR, because you can hear his oddly atonal, wacky, extremely open-mouthed, "BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

The ending shot with Cage staring into the camera with that goofy "I SEE HEAVEN AND HOPE" grin on his face sent the audience into a fit of laughter.

 

I love Cage and Perlman, they had great chemistry. I love that they didn't even bother with accents and were all, fuck it. We're Americans in 14th century Europe.

Well, I bit the bullet and I went to see this movie tonight. I had a feeling there'd be trouble given that it's a Friday night and it seems like the dumbest movie-going Troglodytes go out then to see films, and the way my schedule worked out, I had to see it tonight... there were more then enough people in the audience who I'd love to burn at the stake AND hang AND drown, but despite those mouthbreathers, I still tried my best to pay attention to the flick. Somehow, I totally missed the moment where Nic Cage was offered a handjob!

 

As for the movie, it did not deserve such a harsh hipster review that it got. Sure, it was mediocre at best, most of it isn't that memorable, and it's really worth only a rental once it comes out on DVD in a few months. But, it nearly isn't as bad as the overly dramatic review that was given to it. It's not 1 out of 10 bad in my book. Nothing about it pissed me off (it was just the cretins I watched it with that got my dander up), things move well-enough, there are some goofy moments, and Christ, Nic Cage fights a demon! That's worth a chuckle right there. Sure, the charm of the two leads goes a long way, I can understand why it sat on the shelf for months, and it could have been better, definitely. But, it's not going to be one of the worst theatrical movies of the year once 2011 ends, mark my words.

I went to see this with a similar group of friends that made Transformers 2 so enjoyable for me.  I had a great time.  It's an ugly, boring, stupid film.  But unlike something completely mediocre and forgettable, this B-movie had moments!  MOMENTS, Jerry!  My friends and I... we took the horror and walked out of it as Frank Drebin and Jane guffawed out of Platoon.  

 

Also, the Arclights are really snazzy theaters.  

 

One moment that made bust out that hasn't been mentioned here yet...  Cage and Perlman's identities are discovered (sword falls off the horse) and are attacked with arrows.  Cage effortlessly brushes them aside as a Jedi would lasers, does it about two or three times and just quits for no reason!  He just holds up his arms and says, "FINE!"  WhaaaaaaaaAAAAAA?

Really, there weren't too many funny Nic Cage bits here, but it is fun how much he and Ron Perlman look way more like aging movie actors than they do the veterans of several medieval wars. 

Best part of the movie, hands down!

 

Also, where was this alleged hand-job tempting scene? I too didn't spot it.

Is the line "We're going to need more holy water" as funny in the film as it is in the trailer?

The hand-job tempting scene is when Cage is riding his horse right behind the cart as he has a scene of dialog with "The Girl."  I think she tries to empathize with the guilt he feels for his deeds and suggests that she has ways of making him feel better.  Right then, she offers him her hand in a seductive manner.  It wasn't BLATANT-blatant, but I certainly got that 'hand-job' vibe from it.  Claire Foy was quite attractive despite how ugly the film was.  However, she often looked so much like Kristen Stewart that I couldn't stop thinking of the Twilight movies during the CG wolf fight.

 

I had a nice big guffaw at the "We're going to need more holy water."  All of a sudden, the priest got to be in the same movie Perlman thought he was in.

 

Paul Scheer does a great pocast about movies called How did this get Made? The last episode was about this movie, funny shit. Here is the RSS feed.

 

http://howdidthisgetmade.libsyn.com/rss

Caught this delightful film last night (Thanks, Netflix!).  In my humble opinion, the film only drops the ball in one major aspect: After the opening battle, they cut to Cage and Perlman smiling and laughing as they guzzle mead and bounce lusty wenches on their knees.  But they only show this once!  They need to do this after every single battle.  Battle of Constantinople or whatever? Boom!  Wenches and booze!  Battle of Mecca or whatever?  Boom!  Wenches and booze.  They needed to do this right up to the point where Cage stabs a girl and gets sad.  It would have been box office catnip.

I recommend Black Death with Sean Bean.

It's been in my Netflix queue for quite a while now.  Thanks, though.

Remember that scene where Cage just gives up deflecting arrows???

 

YEAAAAH!!!

Wait....WHAT?

Presumably one of the crossbow bolts knocked Cage's sword from his hand, but it sure doesn't look like it.

It's like he just got bored DEFLECTING LETHAL BOLTS WITH A KNIFE!!!

This plays like a less-wacky version of ARMY OF DARKNESS. Demon possessed flying women? Quest for a book? Goofy anachronistic dialogue? Only without Raimi's manic direction, slapstick, anachronism-explaining time travel, or the Chin's infectious charm.

 

Pearlman acquitted himself just fine, but Cage (like the majority of his films) is miscast. Phil Tippett studios designed the monster in this... Only time I've ever been disappointed by a Tippett creation. So generic.

 

There is a stretch on the road where I thought this flick clicked, but the tone was so allovertheplace, that I couldn't help but laugh unintentionally at most of it. Take the advice of Waaaaaaaalt and see BLACK DEATH  (or even hunt down the severely flawed and overly dour SOLOMON KANE, as the demon bossfight is slightly better IIRC) instead.

 

Didn't hate it, but I watch DTV and SyFy fantasy and my standards are waaaay low.

 

 

Fuck when is that getting released here?

 

Never, apparently. Especially not after Conan.

Well I saw Solomon Kane and yeah Season of the Witch wishes it could be that fun. If your region free I suggest you see it.

I think there's some good sword-fights in the movie, but Solomon Kane isn't that good of a film.

In relation to sotw it's a brilliant masterpiece.
 

 

Not really.

 

 

Black Death is the only of this recent pack of "grimly-shot medieval movie with religious fanaticism and swords" that's all that watchable for me.

Black Death rocks so goddamn hard. And now it's like a Game of Thrones side project. Carice van Houten is pretty much playing the same character.