JASON POLLOCK’S BREAKING DAWN

Madness... MADNESS!

Hahahah, I enjoyed that.

What a return/ debut! Loved the article, Jason.

It's been too damn long! More HAM please.

If you stretched your arguments a little further you'd end up with a monomolecular membrane, Jason.

Though I gotta agree, Ashley Greene is disturbingly hot. 

Good stuff Jason. But I must take issue with you calling Noomi Rapace ugly... The movie was only alright, but she was dick-achingly sexy in it.

DICK-ACHINGLY!

A good read Jason, though I have no interest in the films and doubt I'll ever watch them (barring BREAKING DAWN being as bugfuck nutzo as we all hope it will be). Nice to see a positive spin on something so universally reviled.

Also, Ashley Greene sure is a pretty lady.

Hey.

Stelios - I don't know how much of a stretch it is to say that some of these people might have actual careers (and might actually deserve them) once this Twilight mess is over with.  Or that Summit is playing with the money they've made off of this crud in fun and interesting ways.  As film fans on the web, we're constantly in that "RULES/SUCKS" mindset, and - while the Twilight films are pretty weak, that whole "THIS IS AN ABOMINATION BEFORE GOD AND MAN/I COMPARE WATCHING THESE FILMS TO VIOLENT SEXUAL ASSAULT" attitude changes nothing.  As sweet as it would be for studios to say, "Waitaminnit - halt production on this film - the Net Kids think it's 'an abortion'"...we both know it's not going to happen.

I'm in a place where I really feel like trying to figure out what the beneficial elements of these projects might be for the studios, and perhaps - by extension - us, might be.  I think Kristen Stewart is a good actress, and she might be in a position now to get relatively inexpensive projects off the ground with her commitment to them.  I don't have a beef with the Lautner kid (who shows more personality outside of these films than he can muster in them), and I actually like the Lutz guy quite a bit.  Anna Kendrick is fantastic (and you would never know it from her perfomance in these films - she actually comes off as drugged and/or brain damaged - which is obviously what she was asked to do), and Ashley Greene is the only actress in the films who exhibits personality. 

I haven't even mentioned my complete adoration of PETER FACINELLI. Fastlane was THE SHIT.

These people do have the potential to do mo' better than the Twilight films - and it would be nice to see them get there.

Evi - Noo Noomi Fomi.  She's all yours, sire.

Paul - I have only seen the films accompanied by the Mystery Science Theater 3000 crew. I can't imagine getting through them any other way.  If you go that route, they are a hilarious experience.

As movie lovers, it sometimes feels like we get shit on by retarded toddlers.  I'm just looking for the nickels they swallowed - the little shiny things that are worth something in the middle of all that poop. It's all we can do.

Thanks you so much for reading.

Good article (although, as I mentioned in the comments, I take issue with your Harry Potter slight, not in the sense of its literary merits but because of your belittlement of a segment of the fanbase).  However, in the case of Taylor Lautner, it looks like he's not stretching himself terribly -- his upcoming line of projects are by and large action films that build off of the Jacob Black persona.  Considering that I don't find his acting chops to be anything special, this doesn't bother me too much, as I see no potential at the moment for him to excel outside of said persona.

Sometimes, studios and actors have to "sell themselves out" by jumping on current commercial opportunities in order to fund their dream projects and less commercially viable efforts, so to speak.  I only wish that this didn't have to feel so prevalent in the current Hollywood system, as otherwise good resources are spent on getting the shit out of the way and the commercial franchises can potentially represent years of commitment (and, in the case of Twilight, the actors will be associated with their characters for the foreseeable future).  In some cases, it's difficult to differentiate between whether an actor is simply settling short-term for long-term opportunities or just being too comfortable within the system for their own good.  Outside of the Twilight films, Summit has distributed some very, very good low-budget projects, though.

Hey, Jason. It's all good natured teasing.

Except for the gateway theory. Every time I've tried testing it I've failed. And I've never seen it succeed anywhere save for isolated cases. Stuff like Twilight cannot act as a gateway to other better horror simply because they do not belong to the genre. The people watching Twilight are after different things from what a book like The Passage, or Dracula, or movies like After Dark are trying to provide. You'd have better luck giving Jane Eyre to a Twilight fan than I Am Legend.

I dunno', Stelios - I've been able to foist Dagon on the ladies. If you can lead a girl to Stuart Gordon, well...she's worth keeping around for a little while, at least.

To Draco: Honestly, sir - I was told I needed to read Harry Potter.  I read about three-fourths of the first book, and it seemed like I was reading stereo instructions.  When I explained this to lovers of the books, they informed me that Rowling "never assumed her manuscript would be published"...and it's "rough around the edges"...and that "they do get better"...

My response to that would be, "If the first book is schlock, why would I devote any time to reading the others?"  Like, "Wow - I HATED being punched in the face, but I'm sure if I let someone punch me in the face more, I'll get used to it."

At the same time, I do mention that I wish someone would let me make a Bunnicula movie, and it's there I'm hoping the reader will understand to take what I'm saying with a wee bit of salt.  That's not to say that I don't believe what I'm saying - just that I understand that your mileage may vary.

One of the ideas I was hoping to convey was that Harry Potter fans see Twilight fans and think they're reading bargain-basement trash, and that someone who loves Bunnicula (of all things) thinks their choices in literature are both substandard, when - in fact - all of these things have some degree of merit when viewed through the proper lens (and Bunnicula least of all).  As tedious as I find the Harry Potter films to be, there's no denying that there are people in that cast who have grown into truly talented actors (I think Radcliffe, once he sheds the HP image, might do really great work) and that the success of that franchise has helped to propel fantasy concepts into the mainstream. For the same reasons I posit that Twilight has at least some merit, so too does Harry Potter.  Again, my point in the piece is that, rather than rushing to trash some project or entity as utterly worthless; instead of decrying a thing wholesale in that fannerd way - we might look at how these things benefit the media we love so much.