CHILDHOOD’S END: THE EWOK ADVENTURE

Lemme guess: Alice returns home to an empty house, but can't find her parents. There's a large present on a table, when suddenly the lights go out, lightning and thunder starts up outside, and the Jabberwocky explodes out of the present. I share your pain.

I haven't seen An Ewok Adventure in about 20 years, but so much of it remains vivid in my mind. Especially the pond that traps you if you touch it, or the supposedly cute critter hiding in a tree that tries to eat the older brother's arm off when he goes to pet it. The Ewoks trying to do the "step on a nail" trick to slow down the Gorkan. The fact that there's also a sequel, The Battle For Endor, that even when I was 7 I thought was terrible.

I remember all this, but Pre-Cal from high school? Don't remember a thing.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Greg Clark 

 

Lemme guess: Alice returns home to an empty house, but can't find her parents. There's a large present on a table, when suddenly the lights go out, lightning and thunder starts up outside, and the Jabberwocky explodes out of the present. I share your pain.

 

Yup. Horrifying.

The funniest thing about the cute critter in the tree bit is that it makes no sense why the older brother is trying to grab it. Seems sort of malicious on his part, thus almost getting his arm bit off feel like comeuppance. There's a lot of memorable moments. Don't forget the giant dog-hog monster that almost eats the kids.

Josh, I get the feeling you may be around the same age as my younger brother (just turned 30), as this was just about his favorite film of childhood. He seriously must have watched it with my little sister about a thousand times. As a consequence I have vivid memories of it being on constantly, but I myself was never a huge watcher of it, so it's only certain moments that spring to mind. I do remember the giant spiders looking ridiculous, the older brother character Mace being a whiny douche I wanted to see get punched badly and the Gorax actually being a half decent guy-in-suit monster.

I seem to fall directly between the Ewok love vs hate argument - I was never the worlds biggest fan of the little bastards, but I wasn't quite old enough when I first saw Jedi for them to be a deal-breaker for me either. At four years my junior, my brother loved them tho - the crappy cartoon that used to play on Saturday mornings too.

Great piece tho Josh, the highlighting of just how creepy the ewoks look when you concentrate on them was not only spot-on but nearly made me spit my coffee over my keyboard.

You guys are making me feel very, very old. I was 15 when Jedi came out, and never even saw this flick.

Is it just me, or are these ewoks looking particularly rapey?

They look super rapey all the time! Especially Wicket (the one on the left). That's the craziest thing because he's supposed to be the cutest.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Joshua Miller 

They look super rapey all the time! Especially Wicket (the one on the left). That's the craziest thing because he's supposed to be the cutest.

I mean really...

Quote:

Originally Posted by The Rain Dog 

I mean really...

 

I literally just laughed my ass off for 20 minutes!

I was waiting for that gif to show up.

Aw man the only bad thing about this article is that I thought it was commemorating a DVD release and I was let down when it wasn't. I loved this movie as a kid, and it's sequel starring Wilford Brimley. I taped both films off the Disney Channel who for some reason in the early 90s used to show both of them all the time, but always at like 2 or 3 in the morning. I haven't watched either of these in probably 10-15 years, but I suspect you're right about my child mind not being able to distinguish the quality between TV movie and theatrical film. As a kid these were practically Episodes 7 & 8 of the franchise to me. Great write up.

And that gif is creepy as shit.

Quote:

Originally Posted by NoMoreMrNiceGaius 

Aw man the only bad thing about this article is that I thought it was commemorating a DVD release and I was let down when it wasn't.

They released a DVD back in 2005 of both movies and called it The Ewok Adventures.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Walesczcak 

They released a DVD back in 2005 of both movies and called it The Ewok Adventures.

 

 

 

Yeah but it's out of print and goes for anywhere from $20-$50 on amazon. In this instance I'm going to be pragmatic rather than nostalgic. 
 

Quote:

Originally Posted by The Rain Dog 

I mean really...

 

Its as funny as it is disturbing. This picture makes me think that Wicket is a priest.

Ugh. I hadn't seen this one in decades, and had memories of the monsters. Before it came out on DVD I spent too much time searching the Twin Cities for a VHS copy. There were none. Then I took a Thanksgiving trip to Tucson, and found it at a video store there. I borrowed my dad's VHS player, and took it to a friend's house. We watched it. We all fell asleep. Not worth the effort.

The monsters (Gorax and its pet dog-thing at least) are decent in it and overall, it's not terrible. Mace is an annoying douche for sure. What's hilarious about the sequel (besides having Wilford Brimley)? It (like ALIEN 3) opens with Cindel's entire family getting killed, making the quest in part 1 utterly useless.

That gif nearly made me pee my pants.

I definitely contend that EWOK ADVENTURE is a great kids movie. But there is absolutely nothing there for anyone over the age of ten. I recommend people with fond memories of the film not revisit it now. Best left alone to the fuzzy memories of youth.