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What the hell happened to Russell Crowe?

post #1 of 56
4/7/11 at 9:09pm
Thread Starter 

Lay off the Snickerdoodles, man!

 

 

russellcrowehardnipples.jpg

 

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post #2 of 56
4/7/11 at 9:23pm

Apparently, Bud White shares a personal trainer with Val Kilmer.

 

Damn, it happens every decade: a great actor hits a certain age & prematurely goes the full Brando. Mark my words, DiCaprio will be next.

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post #3 of 56
4/7/11 at 9:25pm

C'monn, that's not Crowe, that's an old picture of Ricky Gervais.

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post #4 of 56
4/7/11 at 10:50pm

I guess no one saw The Next Three Days. Dude was porkin' out in that one. Oliver Reed-style.

 

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post #5 of 56
4/7/11 at 11:01pm

Feast on glass you'll get a fat ass.

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post #6 of 56
4/8/11 at 12:16am

To be fair, nobody looks good in a fucking bicycle helmet. And that one looks like it's from one of the more Cronenbergian circles of hell.

 

Though him stomping around with tiny Rainman-steps and bloating upper-half in TN3Ds was pretty funny.

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post #7 of 56
4/8/11 at 12:53am
Quote:
Originally Posted by Art Decade View Post

Damn, it happens every decade: a great actor hits a certain age & prematurely goes the full Brando. Mark my words, DiCaprio will be next.

 

Heh. There's a line that Woody Harrelson has in A Scanner Darkly talking about DiCaprio "before he hit his Brando phase".

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post #8 of 56
4/8/11 at 7:04am
Thread Starter 

My favorite part of the photo is his tiny, hard nipple. And yeah, DiCaprio is already filling out. He will only get bigger.

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post #9 of 56
4/8/11 at 7:27am

Thanks for pointing out the nipple, Diva. Thanks VERY FUCKING MUCH!

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post #10 of 56
4/8/11 at 8:48am

Career goes to hell, the waistline follows. I know he spoke to Adam McKay about playing Bill Butcher in McKay's adaptation of The Boys, but somehow, I don't see that as a return to form, artistically or physiologically. By the by, the nipple makes the shot, I don't see how you can miss it, it's magnetic as well as pokey.

 

 

 

 

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post #11 of 56
4/8/11 at 9:49am

I wonder if it's twins.

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post #12 of 56
4/8/11 at 9:55am

To be merged with the "ridiculous boobs" thread?

 

Alternatively: "Gilliga-a-a-a-an!"

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post #13 of 56
4/8/11 at 10:54am

Who cares, let the fat fuck choke on his rage.

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post #14 of 56
4/8/11 at 10:57am
Quote:
Originally Posted by BurnInHell View Post

Who cares, let the fat fuck choke on his rage.



Physician, heal thyself.

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post #15 of 56
4/8/11 at 2:52pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by bendrix View Post





Physician, heal thyself.


I'm about 20 pounds over weight and don't hit hotel clerks in the face with phones. So fuck your false equivalency.

 

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post #16 of 56
4/8/11 at 3:29pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by BurnInHell View Post




I'm about 20 pounds over weight and don't hit hotel clerks in the face with phones. So fuck your false equivalency.

 

 

Your handle is "BurnInHell" and you have yet to make a post that doesn't have the word "fuck" in it. The equivalency may be false, but it's hardly unwarranted.

 

Anyway, Russell Crowe. Boy, he's fat.
 

 

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post #17 of 56
4/8/11 at 4:16pm
Keep eating, Russ! I want him to be an enormous kung fu master in that movie he's doing with the Rza.
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post #18 of 56
4/8/11 at 4:24pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by bendrix View Post



 

Your handle is "BurnInHell" and you have yet to make a post that doesn't have the word "fuck" in it. The equivalency may be false, but it's hardly unwarranted.

 

Anyway, Russell Crowe. Boy, he's fat.
 

 

 

Fuckin fair enough. But, yeah, Crowe's a fat fucking fatty fucker.
 

 

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post #19 of 56
4/8/11 at 6:22pm
Thread Starter 

Is BurnInHell the new PK? People, just put him on Ignore already.

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post #20 of 56
4/8/11 at 6:59pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Diva View Post

Is BurnInHell the new PK? People, just put him on Ignore already.


asstastic.jpg

 

It must be nice having a computer between the bedroom and the kitchen.

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post #21 of 56
4/8/11 at 7:19pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Diva View Post

Is BurnInHell the new PK?



Yep. With a vengeance.

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post #22 of 56
4/8/11 at 7:33pm

Yes!  Mann can finally make that Jeffrey Wigand sequel!

 

Also, I have tiny sharp nipples.

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post #23 of 56
4/8/11 at 7:41pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Diva View Post

Is BurnInHell the new PK? People, just put him on Ignore already.



Sorry, sorry. Won't happen again.

 

Fat Russell Crowe. Fat.

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post #24 of 56
4/8/11 at 7:43pm
Thread Starter 


Quote:

Originally Posted by mcnooj82 View Post

Yes!  Mann can finally make that Jeffrey Wigand sequel!

 

Also, I have tiny sharp nipples.

 

But you are a tiny dude. They are probably in proportion to the rest of your body. Crowe has the tiniest nipples I've ever seen.
 

 

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post #25 of 56
4/8/11 at 7:57pm

Oh, is that what it's all about?  I thought we were just marveling at its pointy-ness.

 

I am not tiny!  I've festively average and flabby.

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post #26 of 56
4/8/11 at 8:11pm

<Devin mode>

 

It's amazing how people can't stop talking about chubby Russell Crowe, while Certified Copy is OnDemand currently, and the corresponding thread has one response.

 

<Devin mode closed>

 

but seriously guys...

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post #27 of 56
4/8/11 at 9:04pm
Thread Starter 


Quote:

Originally Posted by mcnooj82 View Post

Oh, is that what it's all about?  I thought we were just marveling at its pointy-ness.

 

I am not tiny!  I've festively average and flabby.

 

Comparatively tiny. And I've seen pictures. No way you can be called flabby.

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post #28 of 56
4/11/11 at 1:43pm

He's obviously smuggling a Tic-Tac. They are only one calorie. Gotta start somewhere.

 

I'd also like to think he's not actually anywhere near a bike, but that's a prescribed helmet. Next comes the beaver puppet.

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post #29 of 56
4/11/11 at 9:46pm
Thread Starter 

That beaver comment made me laugh more than it should have.

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post #30 of 56
4/15/11 at 5:47pm

His fuckability peaked around the time he fucked Meg Ryan.  Been downhill from there.

 

And Leo is on his way to having WIDE LOAD slapped on his ass, too.  That chase scene in Inception where he barely squeezes through that space to evade the goons?  Romeo+Juliet-era Leo would have been through in a pinch!

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post #31 of 56
4/15/11 at 5:50pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by HarleyQuinn22 View Post

And Leo is on his way to having WIDE LOAD slapped on his ass, too.  That chase scene in Inception where he barely squeezes through that space to evade the goons?  Romeo+Juliet-era Leo would have been through in a pinch!


 

http://i26.tinypic.com/qysevb.jpg

 

So mean...

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post #32 of 56
4/16/11 at 9:50am
Leo's been banging supermodels since puberty. If it ain't broke.....
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post #33 of 56
4/18/11 at 11:00am
Quote:
Originally Posted by mcnooj82 View Post




 

http://i26.tinypic.com/qysevb.jpg

 

So mean...


That pic is priceless. And totally reminded me of...

 

impossibru.jpg?1296223530

 

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post #34 of 56
4/18/11 at 11:15am

Everything about that picture looks impossibruy inverted.

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post #35 of 56
4/20/11 at 5:00am

Well...Crowe did write a song called "I Wanna Be Like Marlon Brando..."

 

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post #36 of 56
4/20/11 at 7:00pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Diva View Post

Is BurnInHell the new PK? People, just put him on Ignore already.



Not weird, or, oddly, mean and self-centered enough. He's more like Dreary Louse, but dumber

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post #37 of 56
4/20/11 at 11:45pm

He's more like CreepyThinMan, especially since he's banned.

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post #38 of 56
4/22/11 at 2:46pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Cameron Hughes View Post

Not weird, or, oddly, mean and self-centered enough. He's more like Dreary Louse, but dumber


I think you were looking for "Swedish Miyagi".

 

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post #39 of 56
4/22/11 at 4:35pm
He looks like John Goodman in that pic! Farrel brothers, hire both in your next comedy.
Diva (or anyone who knows about that stuff), does playing the DeNiro trick so many times (up-down) make you more prone to getting fat?
Bale could be the next one in the line.
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post #40 of 56
4/22/11 at 4:42pm

Bale was pretty puffy throughout parts of Batman Begins, which he started shooting immediately after The Machinist.

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post #41 of 56
4/22/11 at 4:46pm
Yes, because he gained weight in the worst possible way.
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post #42 of 56
4/22/11 at 5:11pm

Yeah, Bale's really careless like that. At least there's some real buffer time between The Fighter and the shooting of Dark Knight Rises.

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post #43 of 56
4/22/11 at 10:23pm

 

What I read was that he over-shot the final weight because Nolan described his Batman as "a Bear of a man". Bale turned up Bear-Sized and freaked Nolan out, who then asked him to slim down.

 

 

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post #44 of 56
4/23/11 at 10:32am

Yeah!

 

I also read that Nolan, who strikes me as a guy who doesn't display his sense of humor a lot, mercilessly teased him for being pudgy.

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post #45 of 56
4/23/11 at 1:34pm

This is the scene where Bale's weight gain is most noticeable to me.

 

BB_1009

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post #46 of 56
4/23/11 at 2:52pm

Looks like your style got cramped, Nooj!

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post #47 of 56
4/23/11 at 5:29pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Walker View Post

Yeah!

 

I also read that Nolan, who strikes me as a guy who doesn't display his sense of humor a lot, mercilessly teased him for being pudgy.



The crew harassed him in good fun. "What is this? Batman or Fatman?"

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post #48 of 56
4/26/11 at 12:06pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Andres View Post

He looks like John Goodman in that pic! Farrel brothers, hire both in your next comedy.
Diva (or anyone who knows about that stuff), does playing the DeNiro trick so many times (up-down) make you more prone to getting fat?
Bale could be the next one in the line.

I think what happens is your body makes more fat cells that expand when you gain weight (double whammy). You can never lose the fat (unless you go the lypo route), only shrink the cells. I could be wrong.

 

EDIT: Confirmation

 

I would think that would make it easier to gain weight again if you already have the fat onhand (on-hip). Diva without a doubt would know better.
 

 

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post #49 of 56
4/26/11 at 5:14pm
There are also brain circuits that got wired like fat=tasty so the Hunger is there. Retribution in your brain is easier conducted through fat than let's said said proteins.
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post #50 of 56
4/26/11 at 9:27pm


 

Quote:
Originally Posted by Nardo View Post

 

What I read was that he over-shot the final weight because Nolan described his Batman as "a Bear of a man". Bale turned up Bear-Sized and freaked Nolan out, who then asked him to slim down.

 

 

 

No.  After the Machinist, Bale gained weight obviously, but he did it by eating junk food which made him fat.  He didn't purposefully become fat.  According to Bale, his weight didn't really change when he went from fat mode to Batman, he just exchanged the fat for muscle. 

 

And it is true, fat cells shrink mainly, but your body actually does destroy fat cells through a process called apoptois.  This process is facilitated by certain healthy foods.  But even then, fat cells can shrink to almost non-existence.  If someone is willing to radically alter their diet and throw in some exercise, I think remaining slim is pretty easy.  But it is true, if one has never been fat in their life, it is much easier to remain thin.  But studies have shown, even if one was overweight in life, the longer you remain in a certain state of fatness or thiness, that is the state your body will remain in the easiest.  So if you were overweight as child and teen, but become thin for a significant time during your adult life, you shouldn't have a problem remaining that way.
 


The reason we're fat is because our food system, all the crap that is available.  All the sugar and corn by products that are subsidized, make unhealthy foods extremely cheap.  Also our food is packed with gluten, and gluten eats away your intestines lining, and stops you from absorbing minerals and vitamins, thus we stay hungry when we shouldn't.  And the whole genetics argument is largely bs, because the main indicator for obesity is income.

 

The simple fact is we do not eat food to promote a healthy gut.  And most people don't realise most of your body's serotonin, the good stuff, is located in your gut, not your brain.  Which is why so many mental diseases and seratonin dysfunctions are directly linked to our diets.


Edited by Nabster - 4/26/11 at 10:10pm
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