BRADLEY COOPER MIGHT FLY AS THE CROW

Oh, for f*ck's sake... (rolls eyes)

He'd be a good Flash, tho.

That choice seems... unfortunate.

It's so weird how Hollywood can take something off-product and low-demand like another Crow and somehow slap a "NEW" sticker on it to turn it into a (quasi?) tentpole. I find it so hard to believe that the people who walked right past the last two "Crow"'s at Blockbuster are suddenly going to say, "One for 'The Crow 3D' please." And yet, this sort of recycling happens every year, with crowds of dupes lined up to pay top dollar for something they have previously ignored for, what, more than a decade now?

Of course, the theory is they're trying to repackage the property for a new generation, but the gap of young people unfamiliar with The Crow onscreen is like a four-five year age range. It's like Hollywood wants a pat on the back for declaring any group of people a "demographic" no matter how small.

The crow needs to be played by someone people can empathize with. Noone can empathize with Cooper.

I like Cooper, but I have to say he seems a little old for the role, and I'm having trouble picturing him as goth-rock superhero. This would have to be one hell of a reboot.

More importantly, nothing about Cooper says righteous gothic instrument of revenge. Mostly, I just get "unshaven dickhandle".

Joseph Gordon Levitt would be absolutely fantastic for the role, except he's busy doing things that have a shot in hell of being good.

Cooper...

Flash, hell yes!

Crow, gods no.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Gabe T 

It's so weird how Hollywood can take something off-product and low-demand like another Crow and somehow slap a "NEW" sticker on it to turn it into a (quasi?) tentpole. I find it so hard to believe that the people who walked right past the last two "Crow"'s at Blockbuster are suddenly going to say, "One for 'The Crow 3D' please." And yet, this sort of recycling happens every year, with crowds of dupes lined up to pay top dollar for something they have previously ignored for, what, more than a decade now?

 

Of course, the theory is they're trying to repackage the property for a new generation, but the gap of young people unfamiliar with The Crow onscreen is like a four-five year age range. It's like Hollywood wants a pat on the back for declaring any group of people a "demographic" no matter how small.

I'm going to let this poster from the talkback of Renn's "Crow Gone Twilight" article from a couple of years ago make this rebuttal:

On topic: I liked Cooper in Midnight Meat Train, but he should re-think this.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Walker 

I'm going to let this poster from the talkback of Renn's "Crow Gone Twilight" article from a couple of years ago make this rebuttal:

 

I recall being 12 and having a friend over when The Crow was two years old, fit for edited broadcast television airings. I hadn't seen it, and my friend and I had no real opinion on the film. My mother also had a friend over, one who had brought her petulant 17 year old daughter along, who FREAKED OUT when she saw The Crow was on TV. She loved every second of the movie, and it felt somewhat important to her, I recall her saying it was "her religion." But my friend and I could only ask curious questions about the Crow that verged on mocking or cruel, poking holes in the mythos because we were little jerks. When she told us about how the crow followed him around, we started a line of questioning about whether the crow would defecate on him from time to time, and how it would be obvious to spot him since he was the only person in town covered in birdshit (again, we were 12). Later, my mother told me that we had made that girl cry, which was NEVER our intention, and I've felt terrible about it since. So, oddly enough, I kinda get where Mr. Shiny Diamond is coming from.

Now that this girl is in her thirties, I do hope she appreciates that society is giving her a FIFTH Crow movie.

I remember one time during my teaching days, catching a bunch of boys passing a can of deodorant between each other so they could spray it into their own mouths, giggling like a bunch of preschoolers. they weren't getting high off it; they actually wanted to see what it would taste like, and they were doing it repeatedly, entertaining each other hugely with their deodorant-munching. Of course I stopped them, but it took me a couple of seconds to rouse myself into action. I remember that the first thing I did was watch them for a second with a strange curiosity. I wasn't upset, disappointed, or even angry - all that was in my mind was one complelling thought:

...Why?

This news is the Hollywood exec equivalent.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Gabe T 

I recall being 12 and having a friend over when The Crow was two years old, fit for edited broadcast television airings. I hadn't seen it, and my friend and I had no real opinion on the film. My mother also had a friend over, one who had brought her petulant 17 year old daughter along, who FREAKED OUT when she saw The Crow was on TV. She loved every second of the movie, and it felt somewhat important to her, I recall her saying it was "her religion." But my friend and I could only ask curious questions about the Crow that verged on mocking or cruel, poking holes in the mythos because we were little jerks. When she told us about how the crow followed him around, we started a line of questioning about whether the crow would defecate on him from time to time, and how it would be obvious to spot him since he was the only person in town covered in birdshit (again, we were 12). Later, my mother told me that we had made that girl cry, which was NEVER our intention, and I've felt terrible about it since. So, oddly enough, I kinda get where Mr. Shiny Diamond is coming from.

 

Now that this girl is in her thirties, I do hope she appreciates that society is giving her a FIFTH Crow movie.

You should try your very hardest to remember this night, and use those jokes for a Crow spoof. Maybe title it Goth Movie, or something.

I'd like to joke and say "You'll make tens of dollars!" to let you know that it's a horrible idea, but it might very well wind up to be a box office smash!

Straight down the line spoofs are passe these days. Why not make it a movie about a girl who was obsessed with The Crow when she was little, is now grown up and discovers one night that The Crow is a real guy (He perhaps saves her from muggers or something)

She winds up becoming his sidekick, her excitement at meeting her childhood hero/demigod slowly fading as she gets increasingly fed up of everything he says either being long, self-indulgent soliloquies on doomed love or bad, half-hearted puns. You could pitch it as a touching yet unflinching study on encroaching maturity, the fragility of heroes when separated from myth and crows shitting all over the place.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Workyticket 

Straight down the line spoofs are passe these days. Why not make it a movie about a girl who was obsessed with The Crow when she was little, is now grown up and discovers one night that The Crow is a real guy (He perhaps saves her from muggers or something)

 

She winds up becoming his sidekick, her excitement at meeting her childhood hero/demigod slowly fading as she gets increasingly fed up of everything he says either being long, self-indulgent soliloquies on doomed love or bad, half-hearted puns. You could pitch it as a touching yet unflinching study on encroaching maturity, the fragility of heroes when separated from myth and crows shitting all over the place.

Dude, I just want to see MadTV's Aries Spears, dressed like Madea, hit a gothed out Craig Bierko upside the head with a rolling pin and scream "RESPECT YO' ELDERS!"

Let me have this one.

Knew you'd see things my way!

Can't forget Crow Bierko hilariously falling dowm while a crow flys across the screen and shits on his eyes!

Now I hope Cooper is cast and gives a tour de force performance to make this post even more asinine.

I also want to see that.

Seems too hot for a property like this. Cooper as a villain yes as the Crow no. He doesn't have that edge.

This is all about the bean counters thinking they can get more beans by hiring Cooper.

It just doesn't work period.

The Crow needs to be played by someone who, when dressed up in goth gear, won't appear to be doing so out of an approaching mid-life crisis.
 

Quote:

Originally Posted by Art Decade 

The Crow needs to be played by someone who, when dressed up in goth gear, won't appear to be doing so out of an approaching mid-life crisis.
 

Here ya go.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Evi 

The crow needs to be played by someone people can empathize with. Noone can empathize with Cooper.

I remember when Cooper was Sydney Bristow's pal, forever stuck in that friend zone, as the awkward and geeky journalist on ALIAS. Now he's a blossomed stud. He's the A-TEAM's Face. He's the cool guy in THE HANGOVER. He's no Eric Draven. Levitt would be great.

Quote:

Originally Posted by The Rain Dog 

Cooper...

 

Flash, hell yes!

 

Crow, gods no.

This. X 2.

Wait, I know who can do a combo of Rocker and Comic Hero...

Sucker Punch has probably shit the bed for all future ActionGrrl franchises, but I always wanted to see a good take on the Chick as Crow angle. I guess Underworld covers the "Meh" take.

The Crow: Stairway to Heaven had a female Crow.  She was in two episodes and played by Bobbie Phillips.  Maybe not having one in a movie is a good thing.

Edit: Does casting Bradley Cooper mean they're whitewashing this thing?  Halfway at least?  Couldn't get an Asian-ish actor to front it?

Actually I really like that idea. Alot.

We need an intense emotional female hero. Of course it has the same issue as this one the correct actor or actress.

Having just seen Wallander, up & coming Brit & current Hank McCoy, Nicholas Hoult, would make smashing Eric Draven...

I don't know, I think this could work. I can see Cooper being a good Crow. A bit more malevolent and intense than the previous ones. And it would be nice having someone with actual charisma in the role since the disaster that has been this franchise's casting after Lee.

It's so weird though. Loving a movie so much while hating its fanbase and the franchise equally so.

Whats weirder is how normal that sentiment is becoming.

Quote:

Originally Posted by stelios 

It's so weird though. Loving a movie so much while hating its fanbase and the franchise equally so.

Quote:

Originally Posted by stelios 

It's so weird though. Loving a movie so much while hating its fanbase and the franchise equally so.

You too huh.

Quote:

Originally Posted by stelios 

I don't know, I think this could work. I can see Cooper being a good Crow. A bit more malevolent and intense than the previous ones. And it would be nice having someone with actual charisma in the role since the disaster that has been this franchise's casting after Lee.

 

It's so weird though. Loving a movie so much while hating its fanbase and the franchise equally so.

I actually kinda like how unhinged Perez was, but then, I have fewer issues with City of Angels than most. Agreed on the rest.

Cannot agree enough with the second point though.

Quote:

Originally Posted by stelios \

It's so weird though. Loving a movie so much while hating its fanbase and the franchise equally so.

I call that the "FIGHT CLUB Principle".

Anyone clamoring for a new Crow flick will have a rude awakening when the first trailer shows this to be a PG-13 dark romance with hardly any remarkable action bits in it. And they're actually right to do so. It'd be nuts to deliver a hard edged R rated Crow with major violence when the Twilight crowd is ready to chew on a another moody lover's tale.

No wonder the Norrington / Statham version didn't go off.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Chris Myers 

Anyone clamoring for a new Crow flick will have a rude awakening when the first trailer shows this to be a PG-13 dark romance with hardly any remarkable action bits in it. And they're actually right to do so. It'd be nuts to deliver a hard edged R rated Crow with major violence when the Twilight crowd is ready to chew on a another moody lover's tale.

 

No wonder the Norrington / Statham version didn't go off.

Didn't even consider that but...shit.

Eh, this franchise can only go upwards after spawning an Edward Furlong DTV movie.