I wanted to say thank you to everyone who has posted in this thread. Experiences, encouragement, bad days, all of it. Thank you for sharing, it's helped me with my own depression.
I have a family that loves me, a place to live, a job, and all I can be most days is horribly depressed. Self loathing about depression feeds it. I've been on Lexapro for years, but the last two years have been really brutal. Some of it is situational and environmental, but that doesn't cover it all. The only times I feel good about myself are quick manic bursts.
I know I need to exercise regularly, I'm kinda pinning my hopes for a turnaround on that.