WHO BETTER TO TELL THE STORY OF POMPEII…

For a minute I thought Anderson was taking over the reigns from the cancelled Roman Polanski adaptation of the Robert Harris novel, and I just about shit a brick. Looks like there's no relation at all.

Hopefully he has the good taste to bookend this with Pink Floyd performing there.

Milla Jovovich is gonna be in this, isn't she? And she's gonna jump backwards in slow motion too.

...and kill the lava...all of it...with twin .45's. You don't fuck with Jovovich.

That's a lovely bit o' comedy there, sir. I applaud the well-placed space.

As for the film - well, my unbroken streak of  unseen, post-Event Horizon Paul WS Anderson movies will apparently continue unabated.

I will go out and say this film will bomb. Like making the worst bombs list.

Anderson doesn't have what it takes to keep this ship afloat bank on it.

So Roland Emmerich is giving us a period mystery surrounding Shakespeare and now Paul 'Woefully Shit' Anderson is giving us ancient Roman melodrama.

D'you see people? D'you see the message you send to these talentless turds when you go and see their horrible, horrible films?

Now they think they're actually talented enough to tackle period costume dramas!