CONAN DOES A LOT OF CLASHING

RENTAL!!!

 

By Crom, that looks lame. That said, it would probably make a nifty Saturday afternoon double feature with Purefoy's Solomon Kane.

I was going to say:  "That looks like it might be worth a matinee showing on a lazy Saturday or Sunday afternoon."  Then Momoa spoke, and it became immediately clear why Khal Drogo has few lines (and most of those not in English).  Momoa's a good action guy...I actually liked him in Stargate: Atlantis and I was rooting for him here, but...ugh. 

 

They're probably shooting for the oh-so-coveted PG-13 rating, too, aren't they?

 

Seriously though, if this were "Son of the Scorpion King" I'd say it looked good...but it isn't really Conan.  Even less so than Ahh-nuld's movies were.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Looks a lot less 'made for tv' than I was expecting, but yeah, hardly surprised at Momoa.  But it seems to have the creature from Deep Rising in it, so I'm torn...

Count me among those who were over the age of 20 when the original debuted, and have never found it some inviolate sacrament to sword and sorcery.

This looks more like a remake of the Milius film than I was expecting, or maybe I'm just projecting. Mamoa seems to be acting mostly with his brow. His nostrils are weird. 

I think it looks pretty decent, actually. But perhaps I'm colored by lowered expectations. The scale of it certainly looks larger than I imagined.

 

But I like the look of the film, so I might go see it in a matinee or something.

.....sigh. 

 

I watch that and all I can hear is the theme from MadTV's Lowered Expectations

Maybe I'm going crazy, but aside from the "badass" rock music (seriously, this would probably work 1000x better if they put a Poledouris-sounding track on this), this thing actually looks pretty damn watchable, and this is coming from a guy who would probably list the original Conan as one of my favorite movies. I am an insane Robert E. Howard-phile, though, so maybe that's it.

I love that the action seems to be shot fairly wide for the most part, which is nice. The only bit that looked a bit wonky was the creature, but that will be worked on till release.

Love the bit with McGowan ("Holy forehead, Batman!") blowing the dust and it turning into dust warriors, that was neat.

Come on guys, I just need ONE frigging proper Conan story. Seriously, just film The Hour Of The Dragon as is. Please.

Let's not forget that the original novels were pretty campy in their own way.

 

Assuming they chose the most marketable sequences for the trailer, I'd say there's still hope for a decent film. 

Colour me surprised. Looks epic. There are some truly gorgeous shots in there. How anyone could look at the production values on display here and think 'lame'....man, it's depressing what a cynical fuck the average geek has become. 

Jason Momoa's a hot piece of ass, but I can ogle him elsewhere.

I have a feeling this will be exactly as good as Nispel's Pathfinder. Now it has sand people, witches and a kraken, which obviously makes it more interesting than just vikings, but it also has Jason Momoa instead of Karl Urban. It has a shitty 3D conversion and will probably end up PG-13, with an unrated DVD that probably still won't have the gore and Rachel Nichols nudity some may be hoping for.

 

It probably will be quite watchable, but nothing remarkable. Like Pathfinder.

I don't see anyone here saying that it is "some inviolate sacrament to sword and sorcery."  I think the original version is a good, fun movie.  Not quite Howard's Conan, but still well worth seeing/owning.  But then I doubt we'll ever see a truly "Howard-ian" Conan.  Frazetta's artwork and Arnold's films have dominated the public perception of the character to the point that it's likely inescapable now.

 

In any case, I was all for a new Conan movie, and this looks better than I expected.  It's just Momoa's delivery that yanks me right out of it all.  I'd be happy with "watchable."

 

And Rachel Nichols' boobies, but I doubt we'll see that....

The trailer to Conan looks...Awesome!  I will definitely be seeing this in theaters.  Conan The Barbarian in 3D, sounds like a good time at the flicks for me!

I'll see it if it's rated R. If it does not listen, then to hell with it!

I don't know.  It looks pretty nifty to me, especially for a late summer release.  Come to think of it: With this and Fright Night coming out in August 2011, late summer ain't looking half bad.

Looks like campy fun to me. The music in the 2nd half of the Trailer rocks as well.

 

Also, Rachel Nichols...mmmmm.

Actually, an R rating has been confirmed just this week by Sean Hood:

 

http://www.conanmovieblog.com/2011/05/04/sean-hood-on-sex-violence-in-conan-the-barbarian-2011/

 

Music aside, I like what I'm seeing.  There are some genuinely neat-looking set pieces on display here, and Nispel appears to be handling the scope far better than I could have imagined.  Perhaps it's because he looks far more like Conan than Arnold ever did (a leaner, athletic yet still muscular body, the hair and natural glower), but I'm also not too unimpressed by Momoa here.  Certainly, a few line readings were slightly off, but he has a voice that I can certainly see working for Conan.

 

Am I still worried that this could be a Clash?  Certainly.  But some of the shots here look more promising, IMO - and considering that they had to choreograph on the same day of shooting, a few of the action bits look surprisingly better executed.  I was not expecting to be as outright interested in this project as I am now, but maybe Nispel will be able to make something at least watchable.

Infidel defilers! They shall all drown in lakes of blood.

You know, it's not too late to do KING CONAN with the Governator and still have it be true to the source material.

Milius is said to be still interested, right?

IT'S NOT TOO LATE! (Shakes fists at heavens)

On the other hand, Poledouris is daed, so maybe it IS too late...

I'll probably go see this... in 2D...

Well, that's actually a bit reassuring.  I'll admit it, I'd probably see it even if it looked like the suckiest suck in the history of suckage, because I love Conan stuff in all its' many interpretations, and well, this doesn't look -that- bad.  For some reason Momoa still pulled me out of it.  I dunno...maybe it'll work better in context.

I thought so too.

Excellent.

 

Looks waaaaay better than I expected. From that crappy teaser prior, I was thinking it might resemble a Hercules episode, but they actually look like they spent some $$$ on it. SCORPION KING meets CLASH OF THE TITANS is a good way to sum it. But hell if I didn't see both of those in the theaters. And I'll see CONAN as well, in spite of the flaws of those that came before. Feeling hopeful for the first time actually. Hopefully it's a major step up from Nispel's ultimately empty PATHFINDER.
 

 

Marcus Nispel makes handsome movies, so it's no surprise that some of the production design is attractive in its way, but nothing else tracks. It looks every bit as empty as everything Nispel has done. This is coming out in August for a reason.

I just realized that so many of the sets had to be extended/enhanced in post because Lang chewed up all the scenery. Looking forward to him.

 

Oh yeah, Rose McG's get-up looks ridiculous.

Everything seems pretty clean with a light coat of dust. I guess I was expecting the grit and sweat of the Texas Chainsaw remake. I can maybe accept that Momoa is the Chippendale's Conan and not the brutish and ugly Frazetta Conan, but until they want to sell the sex and violence in an R rated trailer, I'll be pessimistic.

I also accept that what I would want to see in a Conan film is really not strictly R.E. Howard's Conan. Throw your stones.

She looks like an alien from Babylon 5. Call me crazy, but why not have the contradiction of her looking super sexy and acting super evil. Been done before, I guess?
 

Heh. It looks entertaining enough to me. I mean it's got giant monsters, swordfighting, and Stephen Lang eating scenery like a super-termite, so how bad can it really be? On the other hand, I'm an easy mark for fantasy - I even dug Hawk the Slayer and the Sword & the Sorcerer!

 

So yeah, I have a feeling I'm going to enjoy this flick. I like mr. Momoa as Khal Drogo and I think he'll make a fine Conan. Truth tell, as long as he chops shit up real good, I'll be happy. 

Color me mildly interested after the trailer and hearing that it'll be R rated. I remain skeptical though, especially since it's getting so little marketing. Doesn't speak much of the studio's confidence.

This looks like it might be a fine matinee. Still not what I would like from a Conan movie, but then what I would want from a Conan movie is basically "The Wild Bunch" with swords, wizards, and swords going through wizards.

It just looks so... cheap. It could certainly do with a much better choice of music behind it (RIP Basil), but it could be okay, it just looks like KULL THE CONQUEROR II. Still, I'll be interested to see a bit more of Momoa in dialogue, not just swinging a sword around.

Considering this is a NU IMAGE production, it looks a lot more expensive than I thought it would.

Have you guys seen Valhalla Rising? Take that atmosphere, add action, add practical monster fx, add towns and you've got the perfect Conan movie. Conan's world makes Mordor look like a sunny beach resort.

 

I still think Rose McGovern still looks weird under all that makeup though.

I'm interested enough. I've been slowly making my way through the Dark Horse comics (just finished Rogues in the House) and I like the world. From that link regarding the R rating, it looks like they were trying to make an actual Conan movie, and not just a beefcake fantasy film with the name slapped on.

 

So yeah, I think I'm planning to see this.

As someone who doesn't think the previous Conan films deserve the reverence they get (well, at least the first one), I'm definitely willing to give this one a chance.

 

 

This might just be the post I agree with the most. Classic sword and sorcery is so great because it's got this real grungy western(and with Fritz Leiber noir feel) tone to it's atmosphere that I just love. The first Conan almost got this(or at least riffed on Kurosawa who's imagery is an eastern cousin) but it still didn't quite have the grime and filth that I'd truly love.

 

Of course I also think the best Conan that's never been cast is Ray Stevenson, so I'm pretty really out of whack with people.

If I  get that + tits + a boatload of gore - Essence of Pathfinder + a good sense of humour. I'll be happy . . . 

 

Titus Pullo ftw.

Thank god Momoa has so little dialogue on THRONES. He's got a crap voice that doesn't really match his visage. Plus, you know, he's no great actor.

 

I'm just now finally reading Howard's stories. I can definitely see why Conan fans were upset with the Arnold film, though it's a pity that that has gotten in their way of appreciating a fucking great Milius work. Now I'm kinda excited to see this film, what with the stories in my brain. Doesn't look very good though. Casting is generally the tip of the iceberg when judging a movie full of crap decisions (I knew ALEXANDER was going to suck the moment I saw the cast list). Momoa feels like a TV choice. Not a movie choice.

I actually love Milius's movie just because it's a big epic fantasy film that actually attempts to take itself seriously, rather than just some cheapo piece of schlock. You can tell Milius loves this world, and tries to give it some honest cinematic kick. It's not faithful in a lot of ways to the text, but it doesn't feel too far off.

 

This movie just looks like the next Scorpion King flick.

 

 

 

 

It probably doesn't help that I read the stories after I watched Rome, but Titus Pullo IS pretty much how I picture Conan in the books. A big scary guy who can be real friendly, until you look at him the wrong way and he rips your tongue out with his teeth.

What I'm liking more and more. now that I think about it, is this looks like it isn't afraid to keep the sorcery part in the "Sword & Sorcery". Witches, summoned creatures, etc. They could have gone the TROY and KING ARTHUR route and sapped all the myth and monster out of it. Glad they didn't and I'm glad these types of movies have been moving away from slavery to the REAL.

My female friends agree with you, and far be it for me as a straight guy to tell them who they should find attractive, but I just don't get this one. The dude looks like he called in sick when the evolution memo went around the office. I would think his forehead's a prosthetic, except for the fact that it seems to follow him from gig to gig.

 My sapphic proclivities prevent me from being a perfect judge. But from what I've seen of Game of Thrones dude does have an ass straight out of a Tom of Finland illustration. So I guess there's that.

What's wrong with Momoa's delivery is - imho - that Conan should prove to be essentially a sort of calm, quiet storm.

He shouldn't sound as angry as he does.

 

This is my main issue with the trailer: everything else doesn't seem so off from the source material, as far as we can

see anyway.

Is that not the point? Also, Jason Momoa is indeed, the hotness. At  this moment in the culture, where somewhat effeminate males are all the rage, he's straight up masculine (even with the eye shadow). It's rare and thus very attractive. Conan may not work out for him, but I have to admit that I like that a multiracial dude is getting a little attention. Mixes it up a bit.

 

Edited by JacknifeJohnny - 5/6/11 at 10:22am

My expectations are still severely low for this one, but I have to admit that it looks WAY more epic than I would have imagined based on that awful teaser from a few months back.  I'm still very wary about this one, and really don't think Momoa can pull off a starring role as such an iconic character, but I will say that my interested is now slightly piqued.  I've gone from not caring at all to slightly curious.  I'll probably check it out at the Budget Cinema on $1.50 Tuesday, or just throw it on the Netflix queue as soon as it hits DVD.

danko, Of course...Conan should sound angry (not the...unfunny comedian), he is a...Barbarian!

From what I remember of the novels, I've always maintained an image of a calm, confident and resolute Conan, not an angry and spitting one.

There's room for interpretation I guess.

But aside from this, the trailer is kind of growing on me. It recaptures somewhat the love for the wild and colorful fantasy settings of old.

Stoically badass.

 

See also: Titus Pullo