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Der Arnold

post #1 of 33
5/22/11 at 6:54pm
Thread Starter 

I'm surprised there isn't already a thread on this in Gossip.  I figure it's time to discuss the divorce, the housekeeper, the baby, and... wait... what's this?  Out of nowhere, Jane Seymour (huh?) decides to spill more on a red carpet somewhere...

 

http://marquee.blogs.cnn.com/2011/05/18/jane-seymour-this-isnt-schwarzeneggers-only-love-child/

 

So, if he can't be President, was it Arnold's plan to fill our country with his offspring?

 

arnold-schwarzenegger.jpg

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post #2 of 33
5/22/11 at 10:13pm

This is not an attack on you, Doc, but do people really expect Arnold to look remotely like he did in his youth? Bodybuilders age just like janitors or teachers or any other actual human beings.

 

As far as his affair and his outlaw kid, I never thought he was some paragon of virtue. Seems like yet another Republican hypocrite.

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post #3 of 33
5/22/11 at 10:19pm
Thread Starter 

This is a Gossip thread, Jacob.  The Posts Of Virtue And Fairness must be on some other board.

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post #4 of 33
5/22/11 at 11:26pm

It's the right kind of post in the right part of the forum. But it deserves a late pass. This picture is quite old and if I remember correctly taken when he was recovering from heart surgery.

 

LEAVE ARNOLD ALONE!

 

He has enough on his head right now. What with getting ugly looking maids pregnant.

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post #5 of 33
5/23/11 at 3:55am

Yeah, that maid was no Valaria even 17 years ago.

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post #6 of 33
5/23/11 at 5:45am
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bluelouboyle View Post

Yeah, that maid was no Valaria even 17 years ago.



Please don't be a misogynist asshole.

 

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post #7 of 33
5/23/11 at 8:29am

That photo is a proven fake, by the way.

 

There was an article on CNN about how this won't really hurt Arnold all that much because people sort of expected him to be like that anyways:(http://www.cnn.com/2011/US/05/21/schwarzenegger.times.story/index.html?hpt=Sbin

 

 

 

Quote:

Schwarzenegger's political advisers even tested the waters before the recall, asking focus groups what they thought about infidelity and his chauvinistic treatment of women, said Joe Mathews, author of "The People's Machine," a book about Schwarzenegger's life in politics.

 

The focus groups were held in conservative suburbs -- the San Fernando Valley, near Los Angeles, and Sunnyvale, in the heart of the Silicon Valley.

 

"Nobody cared," Mathews said, describing the reaction as, "What do you expect? He's a big, famous guy. People sort of knew. It was baked into their expectations of what he would be. There were no moral objections in those rooms, and there were as many women as men in there."

 

Mathews, who covered the Schwarzenegger administration for the Times, said the governor never pretended to be a saint, which may have defused any outrage.

 

"He never promised to be good or faithful in his personal dealings," Mathews said. "No one has the right to say he betrayed the public on this. He didn't run on family values. He didn't do holier than thou."

 

 

And that maid must of have been willing to do some freaky shit in bed. 'Cause I don't know why Arnie would want to stick his dick in that.

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post #8 of 33
5/23/11 at 12:05pm

The Arnold movie related bad puns have been hard to take (heh heh "Sperminator"), but I like some of the better quality jokes e.g. keeping that other son a secret from the wife being "the best acting he's ever done" from Conan, and his douchey cigar thing actually being birth celebrations from Kimmel.

 

also I feel bad for his family, but having seen those pics, the idea of it taking his wife 14 YEARS to realize that that's Arnold's son is hysterical.

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post #9 of 33
5/23/11 at 12:23pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Fat Elvis View Post





Please don't be a misogynist asshole.

 


Err, what? I fail to see why my comment is misogynistic. I basically said she is unattractive. What's the problem?
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post #10 of 33
5/23/11 at 1:02pm

You can't do that. Unless you're ugly too.

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post #11 of 33
5/23/11 at 3:30pm

I'd like to think he uses his movie oneliners in bed...

 

"Stick around!"

"Talk to the hand!"

"What the hell are you?"

"You're not genetic garbage!"

"YeEEARRRrrllluh!"

 

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post #12 of 33
5/23/11 at 3:45pm

"Man you got a big pussy. Man you got a big pussy."

 

Oh, wait, that one wasn't his.

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post #13 of 33
5/23/11 at 3:52pm
Thread Starter 

"Come with me if you want to live."

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post #14 of 33
5/23/11 at 4:10pm

I can't understand why this is a surprise to anyone, the man's been a letch since forever. Only thing that gets me is the Jane Seymour thing. Does she have a dog in this fight? Maybe she had one or two bad experiences with him.

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post #15 of 33
5/23/11 at 5:34pm
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by JacknifeJohnny View Post

I can't understand why this is a surprise to anyone, the man's been a letch since forever. Only thing that gets me is the Jane Seymour thing. Does she have a dog in this fight? Maybe she had one or two bad experiences with him.



There's a big difference between being a letch... and calmly acting like nothing's wrong for over 10 years while the mother of your illegitimate child cooks and cleans for your wife.  It's creepy, man.

 

And yeah, Jane Seymour.  What is she trying to do, make Shriver feel like an even bigger fool?  She's saying everyone in their social circle knew.  But somehow Shriver didn't know until this year?  Even though this housekeeper is comfortably set up in a grander house than most of us will ever see in our lives.  It's creepy.

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post #16 of 33
5/23/11 at 6:29pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by DARKMITE8 View Post

I'd like to think he uses his movie oneliners in bed...

 

"Stick around!"

"Talk to the hand!"

"What the hell are you?"

"You're not genetic garbage!"

"YeEEARRRrrllluh!"

 


You forgot "Who's your daddy and what does he do?". cool.gif

 

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post #17 of 33
5/23/11 at 7:59pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Naisu Baddi View Post

You forgot "Who's your daddy and what does he do?". cool.gif

 


I should be ashamed! I am!

 

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post #18 of 33
5/23/11 at 8:01pm

I like to imagine THIS is just a day in the life of the Governator:

 

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post #19 of 33
5/23/11 at 8:06pm


 

Quote:
Originally Posted by Doc Phibes View Post





There's a big difference between being a letch... and calmly acting like nothing's wrong for over 10 years while the mother of your illegitimate child cooks and cleans for your wife.  It's creepy, man.

 

And yeah, Jane Seymour.  What is she trying to do, make Shriver feel like an even bigger fool?  She's saying everyone in their social circle knew.  But somehow Shriver didn't know until this year?  Even though this housekeeper is comfortably set up in a grander house than most of us will ever see in our lives.  It's creepy.


This tells you the whole story right here. Sit and think about this whole thing. Arnold is well known in Hollywood and bodybuilding circles well known for his behavior a lot of stuff came out around the recall.

 

This was orchestrated by Shriver she is gonna have a huge comeback consider it Hillary Clinton redux. The sympathy vote is hers and she will soak in it.

 

Arnold finally gets to atone. But it serves its purpose she nails him for being the ' letch ' he is while getting some steam her way.

 

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post #20 of 33
5/23/11 at 8:50pm

I just picture that maid giving birth to a baby with a giant Arnold Head, then that kid growing up and running around with a giant Arnold Head while Maria is oblivious.

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post #21 of 33
5/24/11 at 9:14am
Quote:
Originally Posted by Cylon Baby View Post

I just picture that maid giving birth to a baby with a giant Arnold Head, then that kid growing up and running around with a giant Arnold Head while Maria is oblivious.


It'd be especially awesome if Arnold and Maria were big King of the Hill fans.

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post #22 of 33
5/24/11 at 2:51pm

The maid is mexican, right?

Arnold could say "hasta la vista, baby" after every time he visits his kid.

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post #23 of 33
5/25/11 at 7:36am
Quote:
Originally Posted by Randolph Carter View Post

The maid is mexican, right?

Arnold could say "hasta la vista, baby" after every time he visits his kid.


And "hasta la vista, baby mama".

 

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post #24 of 33
5/28/11 at 12:02pm

The Governator tv-series has been put on hold due to Ah-nulds marriage problems.

Thats a good thing actaully, maybe the producers of the cartoon will cancel it now.

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post #25 of 33
6/1/11 at 9:09pm

arnold_schwarzeneggers_son_mistress_picture.jpg

One must strive to understand the working of the Austrian libido, which towers over that of the American. The Aryan race oozes virility, and Herr Schwartzenegger’s impressive member must have yearned for multiple partners with an ache that few can comprehend. While his choice to impregnate the serving girl, may seem a poor one, my guess is that he mistook her anus for her vagina in a fit of sexual rage, and deposited his seed with little regard for the consequences. In my own home town near the Black Forest, the spawn of Beppo run like packs of dogs through the streets, so many were the gypsy girls who experienced the joy of my semi-hardened gland.

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post #26 of 33
6/8/11 at 12:06pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by CTM1978 View Post

 

One must strive to understand the working of the Austrian libido, which towers over that of the American. The Aryan race oozes virility, and Herr Schwartzenegger’s impressive member must have yearned for multiple partners with an ache that few can comprehend. While his choice to impregnate the serving girl, may seem a poor one, my guess is that he mistook her anus for her vagina in a fit of sexual rage, and deposited his seed with little regard for the consequences. In my own home town near the Black Forest, the spawn of Beppo run like packs of dogs through the streets, so many were the gypsy girls who experienced the joy of my semi-hardened gland.



This gave me giggle fits. I approve. That's just....Thanks. That's one of the funniest things I've read in a while.

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post #27 of 33
6/9/11 at 7:03am
Quote:
Originally Posted by Naisu Baddi View Post




You forgot "Who's your daddy and what does he do?". cool.gif

 

 

My favorite would be...."Get ta da choppah!"
 

 



Quote:
Originally Posted by DARKMITE8 View Post

I'd like to think he uses his movie oneliners in bed...

 

"Stick around!"

"Talk to the hand!"

"What the hell are you?"

"You're not genetic garbage!"

"YeEEARRRrrllluh!"

 



 

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post #28 of 33
6/9/11 at 4:11pm
So many lines that could of had other meanings:

"I need your cloths, your boots, and your motorcycle" - T2

(right before climax) "You're fired" - True Lies
"The ice man commith" - Batman & Robin
(after)"Well that hit the spot" -don't remember

(for a virgin) "If it bleeds, we can kill it" - Predator

(whipping it out) "Sure, here's my invitation" - True Lies

"Bring the toy back, bring the toy back to the carpet" - Kindergarten Cop

"So make it quick, cause my horse it getting tired" - True Lies

"Come with me, if you want to live" - T2

"You blew my cover" - Total Recall

(for the ladies) "Don't bother my friend, he's dead tired"
"I eat Green Barrets for Breakfest" - Commando

"GET DOWN" -way too many to list

"Let off some steam Bennet" - Commando

Orgasm to the scream from Predator
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post #29 of 33
6/10/11 at 11:32am

YEHWAAN EGGLEH MEDDEFEKKE

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post #30 of 33
6/12/11 at 11:59am

In Arnold's defense hearing the lamination of the women is what is good in life.

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post #31 of 33
6/12/11 at 3:10pm

He laminates women?

 

What a prevert!

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post #32 of 33
6/13/11 at 12:20pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Gabe T View Post

He laminates women?

 

What a prevert!



Some dudes laminate. Arnold laminates his conquests. Kevin Smith laminates his failures.

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post #33 of 33
6/13/11 at 2:07pm

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