CreepyThinMan here,
The problem is this Nick; when it comes to film critics like you, Faraci, McWeeny and Knowles, in the back of my mind I have to always be wondering if you are telling me the truth about how you really feel about a movie or if there's some sort of ulterior motive. I may rant and rave but I'm telling you my honest feelings about something when I provide an analysis of a movie. Of course, all reviews are subjective but when I talk movies, I usually go on about the story, structure, Direction, cinematography, production design, the theme's and subtext of the movie as well as things that could have made it better.
But I know that a lot of you internet critics like to butter up various movie makers and kiss the asses of those who cater to your ego by giving you interviews, freebies, sneak previews and premiere tickets. We also know that all of you want to work in the movies and, like Mick Garris, will use your position and access to suck up to whoever might give you a break. To me this seems like the obvious reason why you have been polishing Guillermo Del Toro's knob for almost a decade which has landed you a credit on the Don't be Afraid of the Dark remake. Don’t get me wrong, good for you, but it makes everything you do look like that of a scheming hack whose real aspirations is to make money and become famous as opposed to actually creating innovative and challenging cinema. You alternate between pretentiousness while also deflecting charges of snobbery with self-deprecating humor. It's rather obvious and you're not fooling anyone except for the mindless plebs here who praise every brainfart that the writers of this site have. Everyone else who says otherwise gets banned.
You, and CHUD’s, well documented hatred of Kevin Smith is testament to this. You alternately despise him because he’s successful, in his own way, while lamenting that you could create soo much better cinema than he does if you had his resources. But instead of actually going out there and, you know, MAKING A MOVIE, you’d rather suck up to whoever you think will give you a shot. Kevin Smith is no different than every guy on CHUD, AICN and every other message board out there who would love to make movies. Give or take a few hundred pounds. Smith is doing his own this and you rail against him for not making Lord of the Rings which supports my thesis that all you really care about is wealth, fame, status and accolades. What the fuck do you care if he’s content to make movies about dick and fart jokes?
Anyway, getting back to internet critics, I can hardly take someone like Faraci seriously when he actively campaigns against movies like The Dark Knight while also advocating lawsuits against Avatar. I’m not a mindless fanboy of either movie as they both have their strengths and weaknesses. But Faraci’s behaviors is completely un-fucking-professional for someone who claims to be a critic and a journalist. Of course the term “journalist” is usually synonymous with “SHILL” as we’ve seen you, Faraci, McWeeny and Knowles use your position to grease fill your pockets while trying to climb up the Hollywood food chain.
Seriously, Paramount gave internet critics a free screening of G.I. Joe, before mainstream critics, and they had all of you eating out of the palm of their fucking hand. Faraci himself was on here praising that piece of fucking shit and not one single asshole that saw the movie had the balls to call it out for being the fucking wretched piece of fucking trash that it was for fear of losing access and not getting future preferential treatment by the studio’s. The studio’s may have worried about internet sites like CHUD and AICN a decade ago but they now know how to play you by dangling carrots in front of your faces. Do I really need to trot out every single review from Knowles where he slobbered over some rancid pile of shit because he got flown to the premiere and was given pweasants? He actively fucking lobbies for free shit for fuck sakes.
With CHUD and AICN, I see two groups of people who have similar goals. On the one hand CHUD is rife with stuck-up assholes with superiority complexes who cop to watching low grade exploitation flicks and outright trash just so that they can claim to enjoy it purely on an “ironic” level because they can’t admit that they genuinely like watching that’s sort of stuff. Then you have Knowles who pretends to be this simpleton which masks his craven deviousness in getting whatever he wants like the gluttonous scumbag that he is.
But at the heart of both sites are people who desperately covet money, success and fame just like everyone else that is honest with themselves. You can wax philosophic about movies all you like but when you use your position to suck Hollywood dick, you discredit yourselves as nothing more than bottom feeders.
