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NEW THREE MUSKETEERS TRAILER BOASTS STUNNING HISTORICAL ACCURACY

post #1 of 20
Thread Starter 
by Renn Brown: link

Stuff that probably wouldn't have blown up, blows up.
post #2 of 20

Well, the airships look cool.  Other than that, it's a Paul W. S. Anderson film, so you can pretty much count on it being awful.  Having said that, I think it's going to be at least a modest hit.

post #3 of 20

If the actual movie can maintain this much silliness and make me laugh out loud, I'll go see it.

post #4 of 20

Fuckin' terrible.  Was Logan even trying to pull off an accent?  

 

Orlando, Orlando, Orlando.  Go home.  Hang with your kid and your hot wife.  Stop this shit.

post #5 of 20

I don't know. The shots look a little better than i expected. Especially in 3D. Ray Stevenson seems to be having fun as well.

post #6 of 20
SLO-MO SWORD IN 3-D! SLO-MO CANNONBALL IN 3-D!

Ugh.
post #7 of 20

Paul Anderson's The Three Musketeers looks like it will be...All Kinds Of Awesome!

post #8 of 20

I dunno, this looks like it might be big dumb fun.

post #9 of 20

I am a fan of airships in any context. On the literary side, it appears that they've combined the book's Queen and Milady into a single Jovovich and that's kind of inspired.

post #10 of 20

Juno Temple.

 

Ah, I guess I will see this, then.

post #11 of 20

Despite only having one or two lines in the trailer, Lerman seems to be pretty lifeless. Hard to imagine him holding the audience's attention and respect like Stevenson can.

 

Bloom's casting seems inspired: vain prettyboy who's been handed everything.

 

It could be big dumb fun, but with Anderson directing, the odds that it's heavily weight with dumb and very light with fun.

post #12 of 20

Lately I can't help but see most movie trailers as Kentucky Fried Movie style parodies.

 

This movie looks as pleasant as using white hot coals to remove your armpit hair.

post #13 of 20

This looks epic in its dipshittery.  I can't wait. 

 

By the way, that high-pitched spinning noise you hear is coming from Dumas' grave, I'm sure.  

post #14 of 20

It does look hilariously bad, but at least WAR ZONE PORTHOS seems to be enjoying himself.

post #15 of 20

Only last week I was making an argument that it's unfair to bemoan the shithouse quality of a film's dialogue based on the trailer because of the way they chop it up.

 

I take it all back.


 

Quote:
Originally Posted by stelios View Post

Lately I can't help but see most movie trailers as Kentucky Fried Movie style parodies.



Haha, I know exactly where you're coming from.

post #16 of 20
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ratty View Post

 

By the way, that high-pitched spinning noise you hear is coming from Dumas' grave, I'm sure.  


I'm positive he's seen worse. Chris O'Donnell, the Ritz Brothers, Mickey Mouse...
 

 

post #17 of 20
Quote:
Originally Posted by Hammerhead View Post




I'm positive he's seen worse. Chris O'Donnell, the Ritz Brothers, Mickey Mouse...
 

 


Hey, back the fuck off, man, I actually liked the Mickey, Donald, Goofy version. Was it accurate to the novel? Hell no, but it was a fun enough little film that I enjoyed it.

 

But this does look quite amusingly terrible. I kind of like the casting of Bloom as a douchey pretty boy since he's played so many noble ones, though.

 

post #18 of 20
Quote:
Originally Posted by Hammerhead View Post




I'm positive he's seen worse. Chris O'Donnell, the Ritz Brothers, Mickey Mouse...
 

 

 

On the plus side:  Richard Lester, Gene Kelly and the candy bar.
 

 

post #19 of 20

The saddest thing about every filmmaker wanting to a crap on the book is that it is so much fun. So much happens in it. Duels, feuds, sex, adultery, races against time, battles, parties. Inevitably the films always end up lacking. Just do a straight fucking adaptation, for fuck's sake. 

post #20 of 20

I think part of the problem is that most filmmakers get so carried away with the shenanigans of the book's first half that they can't manage the shift to the grim stuff of the second half. I think the Gene Kelly film handles it best.

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