COLOMBIANA: SALDANA PUTS THE “VERY ATTRACTIVE” IN ASSASSIN

"Never forget where dat ass came from!"

"Never forget where dat ass came from!"

"Never forget where dat ass came from!"

"Never forget where dat ass came from!"

"Never forget where dat ass came from!"

BOOM

Columbiana

"Never forget where dat ass came from!"

If this was an actual Luc Besson film I'd be all over it, but of the films I've seen by Megaton I can't help but assume it'll be fairly generic. Still it's nice to see Saldana cutting out a niche for herself as an action girl. She was one of the elements I thought worked really well in The Losers.

I didn't buy Keira Knightley's skinny ass fighting men twice her size, and I don't buy Zoe Saldana's skinny ass doing the same thing.

What if a heartier woman used their skinny asses as a stabbing weapon?

Early reviews say this isn't very good. Just a by the numbers revenge flick.

Quote:

Originally Posted by HarleyQuinn22 

I didn't buy Keira Knightley's skinny ass fighting men twice her size, and I don't buy Zoe Saldana's skinny ass doing the same thing.

But she's using a Bazooka!

Quote:

Originally Posted by felix 

Early reviews say this isn't very good. Just a by the numbers revenge flick.

That kinda depends on your perspective - it's by no means a good movie, but a pretty good action film, if that makes any sense. Yeah, the story's pretty much what you'd expect - but in this kind of movie, the main priority for the story is to not get in the way too much, so it didn't really take away from my enjoyment of the film.

This is very much a spiritual successor to The Professional, not least in the sense that you can either accept the ludicrous/cheesy shit it pulls storywise and have fun with it, or you can nitpick it to death - for me, it always comes down to the little things it does right. The actors, especially Saldana and Cliff Curtis as her uncle/mentor, do a lot with very little, and the action scenes, while in no way mindblowingly creative, all have a very satisfying feel to them. There's a stealthy infiltration sequence that will be the one to beat for Nolan's Catwoman, and a Bourne-esque intense hand-to-hand combat scene that (imho) actually improves upon Greengrass' approach. I guess that sums up the entire experience pretty well: Nothing we haven't seen before, but executed with enough care and conviction to make it fun and exciting nonetheless - just a rock-solid b action flick.

And Saldana is actually pretty convincing as an action heroine/assassin, relying more on stealth and preparation than brute force, the occasional bazooka notwithstanding.

Those pics are HAWT.

I suppose (being a Luc Besson production and all) that she'll be diving down that wall-hole as an explosion goes off ala THE PROFESSIONAL and ala FIFTH ELEMENT and ala NIKITA and ala KISS OF THE DRAGON etc etc etc.

Good, bad, or indifferent, just let it open already so I can quit seeing that damn trailer.

Never forget where she came from, Jeb!

Quote:

Originally Posted by Cylon Baby 

But she's using a Bazooka!

Like her skinny ass can even lift the fucking thing...

I don't care how improbable it is, Saldana with any type of weapon kinda turns me on.

Quote:

Originally Posted by HarleyQuinn22 

Like her skinny ass can even lift the fucking thing...

You have a very bizarre perspective on this kind of thing. What are toned, strong women supposed to look like? You ever hung out with a rock climber chick? Them are some skinny broads that could often go toe-to-toe with dudes four times their size...
 

If that's the case, I'm down.  There's been a lack of quality action films this summer, and I need something violent and entertaining to sink my teeth into.

wouldn't mind sinking my teeth in her, amirite?

Quote:

Originally Posted by Renn Brown 

 

You have a very bizarre perspective on this kind of thing. What are toned, strong women supposed to look like? You ever hung out with a rock climber chick? Them are some skinny broads that could often go toe-to-toe with dudes four times their size...
 

 

I can buy a girl with a build like Jessica Biel handling herself in a fight.  If a girl's clavicle bones are damn near poking me in the eye, I just can't buy that she's some great ass-kicker.  It's always been a pet peeve of mine.
 

Kiera Knightley had a fantastic cameo in Rise of the Planet of the Apes.  Can you guess what it was!?

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jeb 

Good, bad, or indifferent, just let it open already so I can quit seeing that damn trailer.

Agreed. If I have to keep seeing Saldana tearfully recount how her parents were killed RIGHT IN FRONT OF HER *gasp* my eyes are going to fall out of my head from too much rolling.

Along with "very attractive", she also puts the "maudlin overacting" in "assassin".
 

I have about a 10% interest in seeing this. That 10% is for watching the no doubt "Unrated" blu-ray in a couple months.

My ten percent comes from finding this DVD in a four pack with the three Transporters for $10 in a going-out-of-business sale.

Quote:

Originally Posted by HarleyQuinn22 

 

I can buy a girl with a build like Jessica Biel handling herself in a fight.  If a girl's clavicle bones are damn near poking me in the eye, I just can't buy that she's some great ass-kicker.  It's always been a pet peeve of mine.
 

Hot as Saldana is, I'm with HQ22 on this. It's pretty evident from photos and film that Saldana is more skinny than toned. She doesn't look like a rock climber or cyclist or even a ballerina.

But having said that, I still love watching her kick ass. Because, you know, the hotness.

Saw the film last weekend. Thought it was pretty good, my expectations weren't super high anyway. Yes she is quite thin, but her size was used to her advantage for her assignments.
 

Quote:

Originally Posted by MichaelM 

Hot as Saldana is, I'm with HQ22 on this. It's pretty evident from photos and film that Saldana is more skinny than toned. She doesn't look like a rock climber or cyclist or even a ballerina.

 

But having said that, I still love watching her kick ass. Because, you know, the hotness.

 

Actually Zoe is a trained ballerina. In fact her first major role was in 'Center Stage'.

Yeah not a great movie, but Zoe did just fine in it. Most of the fight scenes anyway happened to be that generalized Kali/Silat wrist locks, traps, and blade-work deal that tends to make anybody look pretty good(Saoirse Ronan to name one) regardless of body-type.