Chewers' 100 Scariest Films of the 00's

2. [Rec]  (dir. Jaume Balaguero & Paco Plaza, 2007)

Handheld, first person horror done right. Yeah it's often just a haunted house thrill ride with things bursting out of all corners of the frame at any minute, but it does that very well and still manages to surprise. It helps that there is very little in the way of false scares as well.

3. Irreversible (Gaspar Noe, 2002)

Two of the most toxic and horrifying scenes of all time. Here's one.

4. Session 9 (Brad Anderson, 2001)

One of the best slow-burning horror flicks ever, and probably one of the last haunted house (well, asylum) flicks to work on me from beginning to end, with no stumbles. Performances are stellar, even with the meme-starting Caruso moment. The ending is easily one of the most tense, effective, blood-pressure raising 20 minutes ever spent with a film this decade.

5. Kairo (Pulse), 2001. It may not have a perfectly coherent narrative, but if I'm accounting solely for tone and imagery, this is the scariest ghost film I've ever seen.

I showed this to visiting family over the weekend. That night, the same glass kept tipping over on the kitchen counter. Three times. It was probably the cat, but still.

6.

2007, dir. Frank Darabont

The instant under-the-radar classic that showed us how a middle-aged religious schoolmarm can be just as terrifying as an army of hungry beasts from another dimension. The ending still haunts. A masterpiece.

7. The Descent (Neil Marshall, 2005)

One of my favorites.  A tense claustrophobic nightmare.  And thats before the monsters show up.  Great creature design, some grisly kills, and some truly scary moments.  The handheld camera shot, with the cave mutant already in frame is one of my favorite scares in recent memory.  Marshall gets bonus points for the all-female cast.

8.  United 93 (2006)  dir. Paul Greengrass

Do I even need to explain this one?  I can't think of another film that had me literally trembling in its final minutes.   A true endurance test and a masterpiece.

9. Frailty (2002) d. Bill Paxton

A very Old Testament Horror movie. Two young boys have their world turned upside down when their Dad suddenly has a vision that God has told him to kill "demons". It's horrifying seeing them roped in to helping on what seems like cold-blooded murder. But then a twist comes that hits like a haymaker.

A brilliant film.

*edited for redundancy*

fixed

I still remember my friend telling me she thought I was going to have a heart attack after The Descent ended.

10. Drag Me to Hell (Raimi, 2009)

I beat you, you old bitch!

Sixteen long years after Army of Darkness, Sam Raimi returns to the genre that made him and manages to recapture the magic of Ash's adventures with all the spooky bits and dark humor, all while managing to stay disgusting and suffocate the PG-13 rating.

11. American Psycho (2000)

Was it in his head or was it real?   That's what we're left wondering at the end of the movie.   But what's truly scary about this movie is that it doesn't even matter in the culture Patrick Bateman is in.   Case in point: the real estate agent that looks the other way and just wants to keep home values up is just as scary as a serial killer.  

12. Supernatural (TV Series) 2005-

Just like Buffy: The Vampire Slayer, Twin Peaks, and the X Files brought it in the 90's for genre fans, Supernatural does the same in the 00's.   I made the mistake of dismissing this show for several years due to it replacing Angel and featuring what looked like standard issue WB/CW model actors.   It looked no better than "Charmed" with dudes.   Crow never tasted quite so good.   Week after week, this show delivered the scares, the gore (as in R rated level gore), and laughs.   Also, seasons 3-5?   One of the best runs of serialized genre work on network TV.   Essential viewing for any completist of 00's horror.

13.  Mulholland Drive (2001) dir. David Lynch

"Silencio..."

13.

2001, dir. David Lynch

The unspeakable horrors that fester beneath the skin of innocence & beauty are once again sectioned & exposed by the cinematic scalpel of David Lynch.

14. 

Disqualify it if you want, but this look inside the horrifying way fundamentalists are cultivating part of the next generation chills me to my core. I don't know about anyone else, but a good deal of my hope for the future comes from the idea that in twenty years, all the assholes holding back our cultural progress will be gone and today's youth will be able to make things better. Then I watch this film and the fear that those assholes will never go away grips me tightly.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Whiteboy Jones 

14. Jesus Camp

 

Disqualify it if you want, but this look inside the horrifying way fundamentalists are cultivating part of the next generation chills me to my core. I don't know about anyone else, but a good deal of my hope for the future comes from the idea that in twenty years, all the assholes holding back our cultural progress will be gone and today's youth will be able to make things better. Then I watch this film and the fear that those assholes will never go away grips me tightly.

I'll totally back you up on this one.   The lady bringing out a cutout of George W Bush to pray over (worship?) was some scary shit.   The 20 percenters are some scary folks indeed.

Hell yes, Jesus Camp qualifies. Like a champ.

14. Antichrist (Lars Von Trier, 2009)

Gorgeously shot and filled with haunting imagery and just about every frame is absolutely dripping with dread.  There's some common ground between von Trier's film and genre staples like The Evil Dead, but its also a thematically dense, fucked up examination of misogyny and theology.  This one gets under your skin and stays there.

15.  The Ring (2002) dir. Gore Verbinski

The movie that successfully launched a short-lived wave of remaking Asian horror in Hollywood.  What it loses by going a bit too slick and polished compared to the original film's creepily minimal aesthetic is partially made up for with a plot that doesn't feel as much of a cop-out with psychic exposition.  Featuring a fantastic score by Hans Zimmer (and Co.) as well as soggy make-up FX by Rick Baker!

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Originally Posted by Art Decade 

Dude, that was #2.

 

D'oh!

16.

2006, dir. Amy Berg

This is the horrifying documentary about a child molester priest who, for 30-odd years, abused dozens of kids across the country while the Catholic Church went to great lengths to protect & keep him in service. Interviewed by the film's admirably restrained director, the unrepentant, now living as a free man in Ireland ex-priest talks in great detail about his past & present attraction toward kids, as well as his history with the Church. The filmmaker also speaks to a few of his now adult victims who recount his vicious attacks in heartbreaking & rage inducing detail, But overall, the real villains of the film might just be the Church power structure that knew full well what was going on & made it a priority that the priest's crimes continued. Deliver Us From Evil is a brilliant & entirely damning film document of real-life horror.

17. Martyrs (2008 - d. Pascal Laugier)

18, The Hills Have Eyes (2006)

Alexandre Aja seemed like the next big thing after this remake that upped the intensity and arguably topped the Wes Craven original. As Devin pointed out in his review at the time: The subtext is the War on Terror, and the film really rubs our noses in all our post 9/11 fears. No question, it's one of the great genre films of the decade.

18. Inside (2007) d. A. Bustillo & J. Maury

In my mind, the ultimate slasher movie.  A chilling, remorseless, preternaturally determined antagonist relentlessly terrorizing the most vulnerable heroine/victim possible whilst any unlucky person who happens along is dispatched with extreme prejudice.  Hitchcockian levels of tension and suspense mixed with utterly amazing gore efx work.  Truly a film only the hardiest of horror fans will want to watch more than once.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Whiteboy Jones 

14. 

 

Disqualify it if you want, but this look inside the horrifying way fundamentalists are cultivating part of the next generation chills me to my core. I don't know about anyone else, but a good deal of my hope for the future comes from the idea that in twenty years, all the assholes holding back our cultural progress will be gone and today's youth will be able to make things better. Then I watch this film and the fear that those assholes will never go away grips me tightly.

Gooood call.  Evangelicals embracing the brainwashing of pre-schoolers is scarier than any fictional horror movie.  The Exorcist has squat on a fat sunday school teach from Arkansas getting 4 years olds goose-stepping for Jesus.  The stuff of nightmares, both for me and those unfortunate tots.

 

Quote:

The filmmaker also speaks to a few of his now adult victims who recount his vicious attacks in heartbreaking & rage fermenting detail

 

 

The scene where the father breaks down and screams that there is no God destroyed me. It was Dear Zachary-levels of sadness.

 

 

Quote:

Originally Posted by Art Decade 

 

 But overall, the real villains of the film might just be the Church power structure that new full well what was going on & made it a priority that the priest's crimes continued.

 

 

I couldn't even bring myself to hate the priest by the end, after we've learned how he was himself abused as a child, and that the whole mess could have been reduced drastically or even avoided if he had been able to get some help, instead of his superiors essentially enabling him just to save face. The Church deserves all the hatred, all the way.

The list of things I want to nominate is already up to 30... we might need to do 200 for this, though I'm sure we all have a lot of the same ones in mind (EDIT: in fact 3 of mine were taken while I was writing this post).

20. A TALE OF TWO SISTERS (2003) dir. Jee-woon Kim

It takes a bunch of ideas that probably look played out on paper and turns them into a great movie by 1.) just doing them really well, better than most movies with similar ideas, and 2.) giving the film a dramatic core that draws the viewer in and makes the J-horror tropes and psychological twists fresh and secondary to the emotions and psychology of the characters. While none are quite as hauntingly uncanny as the woman in the forbidden room from PULSE, the ghost scenes in this film are some of the scariest and most memorable of the decade, and the handling of the twists puts stuff like IDENTITY and HIGH TENSION to shame. It's one of the rare movies with those kinds of narrative revelations that doesn't feel cheap or inorganic. It's a movie that holds up to repeat viewings without losing its potency.

Time to get back on track.

23. Hard Candy (2005)

David Slade's first foray into film is a memorable little shocker of a morality tale. With some terrific visual design and a pair of superb performances, the film cleverly does not place any overt judgment on the characters, letting the audience ultimately weigh the characters actions. Contains a castration scene that is insanely horrific without actually showing any of it, using a fantastic sound design to flood the mind with images.

24. The Strangers (2008)

Nevermind that the best scare of the movie is spoiled by the (other) poster. Home invasion hasn't really been this scary in ages. Sure, it's derivative, but it definitely deserves a place on this list. While it doesn't really need a sequel, I'm very curious about Bryan Bertino's follow-up to this. Whether or not it's Strangers 2.

25. SIGNS (2002) dir. M. Night Shyamalan

I have substantial issues with the twist the film takes - and not the one you think. The water thing is a bit dumb, but easy enough to ignore/rationalize. What bugs me is the turn from sci-fi/horror into corny, heavy-handed stuff about God, faith, and fate. For me to say that yet still nominate this for #25 should say a lot about the rest of the film and how effective it is. The early nighttime glimpses of the aliens, the footage from the birthday party in South America, and the nail-biting siege on the house are masterful examples of uncanny horror and suspense. M. Night's career may have subsequently shit the bed, but he's undeniably capable of cultivating a strong atmosphere of strangeness and dread, and I think the bulk of this movie stands as the best example of that to date.

25. The Devil's Rejects (2005) d. Rob Zombie

Rob Zombie's fitting homage (or rip-off) to the iconic grindhouse aesthetic of the 70's isn't really all that scary, but it radiates a grungy sinister vibe.   William Forsythe once again proved why he's one of our best living character actors and is such a nasty piece of work you almost have to sympathize with the equally reprehensible Firefly family.  

27. Splice (2009)

One of the hidden gems of the 00's.   The best Cronenberg movie not made by Cronenberg.

oops, I think its at #27 actually.  The numbering seems to be getting all fudged up.

28.

2009, dir. Chris Smith

The end of the world as we know it is coming. One (possibly crazy) man lays it all out in compelling, logical, & devastating fashion. A must see.

29. Dagon (2001)

Stuart Gordon continues his excellent streak of H.P. Lovecraft adaptations with this overlooked gem from 2001.

While the movie is quite grim and gory, I love that it often feels like the horrific cousin to Martin Scorsese's After Hours. 

Quote:

Originally Posted by Fat Elvis 

18, The Hills Have Eyes (2006)

 

Alexandre Aja seemed like the next big thing after this remake that upped the intensity and arguably topped the Wes Craven original. As Devin pointed out in his review at the time: The subtext is the War on Terror, and the film really rubs our noses in all our post 9/11 fears. No question, it's one of the great genre films of the decade.

I have to admit, as good as the film is, I could never, EVER watch it again. Talk about a movie that shook me to my core. While we're at it:

30. High Tension (Aja, 2003)

Okay, so the ending is far-fetched, but there's no denying that this is one hell of a bloody, remorseless ride. That dresser kill grabbed me by the nuts the first time I saw it.

31. Dead Snow (Wirkola, 2003)

Another foreign horror offering that tends to split people that I love dearly. A Nazi zombie movie that delivers on every level.

32.

I'll confess: if I ever got lodged in a windshield and then left in a garage, I'd probably just cry myself to death. But then, I'm not a homeless Stephen Rea.

Also I'm laughing right now because I just recognized the wink towards the boyfriend's fate.

33. Shaun of the Dead (dir. Edgar Wright, 2004)

Not only is it funny as hell, it's a flat out great zombie siege film to boot.

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Originally Posted by Park Chan-wookie 

23. A Serbian Film (2010) Director - Srđan Spasojević

 

 

Might not be a popular pick, but when it comes to true cinematic ordeals, this title might take the cake. With a spectacular premise (porn star stars in an increasingly bizarre arty skin flick to find out the nutty director is making him literally fuck to survive), the stakes keep getting higher as the level of perversity engaged in skyrockets, bringing the film and its sad, doomed characters closer and closer to hell on earth. Essentially an extended metaphor for the hardships the Serbs were subjected to by their government, this is a strangely personal piece of transgressive exploitation art. The performances are feral and raw in the best possible way, the visual design is often breathtaking, and its possibly the closest one can come to dipping their soul into motor oil.

Is 2010 really part of the '00s? I'd say no.

Void

34. Children Of Men

2006, dir. Alfonso Cuaron

Palpably terrifying in a way most horror films could only dream, Cuaron's masterpiece is as unrelenting & emotionally exhausting as it is brilliant.

Definitely didn't want to miss out on contributing to this decade!  You all thought you'd start it while I wasn't looking huh?

I ofrer you:

Ju-On (2000) dir. Takashi Shimizu

Amazing J-Horror work.  A really nice narrative running through this series.  Everyone knows the image of the freaky clothing impaired child, feline noises, and the "throat noise".

As 30 minutes of the next film is a recap of the first film, I've two-ferred it with:

Premonition (2004) dir. Tsuruta Norio

Based on a manga, some heart stopping and heart breaking moments.

Without ruining the movie, a professor and his family are traveling home.  Dad is trying to complete some important work but cannot seem to transmit it via the web.

They pull over so he can use the payphone.  While doing so, he spots a newspaper with his daughter's picture foretelling her death at 8pm, almost the current time.

Daughter can't unbuckle her seat belt, nor can Mom.  So, mom crosses the street to enlist Dad's aid.

A truck crashes into their care and shortly after the car ignties into flames then explodes.

A really great J-Horror.  I do have some picks that aren't J-Horror but I'll wait another turn.

35. LUNACY (2005) dir. Jan Svankmajer

This bizarre and perverse film from Czech surrealist Jan Svankmajer is notable for its unsettling and uncomfortable horror elements. Characters deceive each other and act maliciously. Insanity is prevalent. Things are not what they seem and no one can be trusted. Inanimate objects move about with apparent intelligence and motives. Fear of the unknown is palatable throughout the film as the narrative moves forward through a fever-dream like haze. Trust and faith is undone and hope is devastated by the end.

The story is an amalgam of select works by Poe and the Marquis de Sade. Sexuality and depravation are major elements here. The protagonist is a man teetering on the brink of full-blown insanity. Oppression and lack of control drive him further and further down into his own personal hell. Many of the visuals in the film are strange and with all of these factors combined, LUNACY is very disturbing.

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Originally Posted by HunterTarantino 
30. High Tension (Aja, 2003)

 

Okay, so the ending is far-fetched, but there's no denying that this is one hell of a bloody, remorseless ride. That dresser kill grabbed me by the nuts the first time I saw it.

The ending is only as far-fetched as the human mind can imagine it being. In other words, hardly far-fetched at all.

36. Paranormal Activity (2007):

Yeah, it's not perfect, the characters don't act like regular people would (like, say run the fuck away from the house), but in a packed cinema in the West End of London, this played like a bastard. I think the idea that a demonic force is, and has been for years, simply fucking with someone just because plays on the same fear Lovecraft some masterfully tapped into. The last five minutes genunienly scared the crap out of me, and included one of the all time great movie screams...