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CHUD List: GERIATROCITIES! – Discussion Thread

post #1 of 67
Thread Starter 

geriatrocitesday1feat.jpg

 

by David Oliver: link

The CHUD List that shows no respect to our elders...at all.

post #2 of 67
Hope Vito Corleone makes the list. Hell, The Godfather was basically about the passage of time and how things change, amongst many things.
post #3 of 67

Instead of listing potential entries that could possibly steal this list's thunder, I'll list an example where I TRULY WISH there were some geriatrocities!

 

The entire Zion council in the Matrix sequels.  I really wished that something terrible happened to those withered spouters of useless platitudes!  They actually made me feel sorry for the Lock character that he had to deal with them at all.  And it's not as if I particularly liked him either!

post #4 of 67

Great first entry! 

 

As an adult I still love this movie and that is truly one of the best scenes in the film. I crack up every time I see the Gremlins as Christmas Carolers complete with one Gremlin who clearly does not know the words.

 

One slightly sick thought. Is this the wish the soon to be homeless children asked Santa for after their mothers conversation with Mrs Deagle?

post #5 of 67

Can we please PLEASE get some Punisher Warzone love up in here.

 

CHUDlists are part of the reason this site is the schizzle.

post #6 of 67

Please only discuss the current entry. Do not speculate or request future ones. From here onward, posts breaking this rule will have to be edited.

 

Thank you.

 

post #7 of 67

Great List and Great First Entry!

post #8 of 67

Great first entry in what I have no doubt will become a another great CHUD list David. It's the animated gifs that elevate it to sliced gold. That, and "Could the AARP Have Helped?"

 

As for GREMLINS* - I think you hit the nail on the head with the William Munny quote. They'd have just as much chairapulting Mr Rogers as they would Deagle. But by making her the beesh they did the audience can cheer for her death (?) and temporarily side with Stripe 'n' the gang

 

* a flick I havent seen since forever. Something I plan to rectify before Christmas

post #9 of 67
Quote:
Originally Posted by Paul Allen View Post

Great first entry in what I have no doubt will become a another great CHUD list David. It's the animated gifs that elevate it to sliced gold. That, and "Could the AARP Have Helped?"

 

As for GREMLINS* - I think you hit the nail on the head with the William Munny quote. They'd have just as much chairapulting Mr Rogers as they would Deagle. But by making her the beesh they did the audience can cheer for her death (?) and temporarily side with Stripe 'n' the gang

 

* a flick I havent seen since forever. Something I plan to rectify before Christmas


Thanks.  This one took a lot of collaboration and back and forth to get it going.  I hadn't done a list idea yet, and I wanted to do something similar to one of my favorite lists, Best Kid Kills, and this seemed like a logical choice.  I know the gang has some really good stuff coming up.

 

 

 

post #10 of 67

Well, I hate old people almost as much as I hate kids, so I guess this list will end up being my favorite.

post #11 of 67

Fully onboard with this. Great first entry!

post #12 of 67

I perhaps laughed far too much to be healthy at the caption "she bounced about three times and then...SPLAT"

 

Great article, great idea for a CHUD series. Looking forward to the next one.

post #13 of 67
post #14 of 67

As glorious as we hoped.

post #15 of 67

"She ain't seen shit for days."

HAHAHAHAHAHAH

post #16 of 67

Niiiice. More old deaths and faster, please.

 

I laughed at that scene when I first watched the movie.  

post #17 of 67

I wasn't expecting a MASSIVE reaction to this, but...

post #18 of 67
post #19 of 67

These are great.

post #20 of 67

The only thing memorable about Deadly Friend.  At all.  

post #21 of 67

Not true. Huge crush on Swansson. HUGE. Still do in fact. Despite all the spazzing she did here.

post #22 of 67

You know, I'd see the .gif of this destruction before, but had no idea the movie it was from.  If I'd had to guess, "Wes Craven movie about a computer nerd resurrecting his pet robot in his dead girlfriend's body" would've been the absolute last fucking thing I ever would've come up with.  WTF.

post #23 of 67
post #24 of 67

Help us out guys. This is a fun one with some new blood in it...

 

day6feat.jpg

 

http://www.chud.com/72769/chud-list-geriatrocities-day-6/

post #25 of 67

Glorious, Al.  Loved it.

post #26 of 67

Wow mr. Schwartz with the home run! Best entry yet.

 

Also tested by the LOTR Lore Geekery Association and given a AAA rating. The third A exclusively for using Dwwimerlaik so well. Mighty impressive.

post #27 of 67

Thank you, sirs.

 

As the list goes on, keen-eyed readers may cotton to the fact that I have, like, no idea how to write Andy Rooney at all.  And that my solution to this is to make him significantly more insane, and also noticeably more racist, than the other Rooney's.  For whatever reason this felt like the only viable solution.


Edited by Schwartz - 11/1/11 at 6:12am
post #28 of 67
post #29 of 67

Easily the best .gifs so far.  The first one is phenomenal.

post #30 of 67
post #31 of 67

Caught up with the last few. Good stuff.

I figured Hot Fuzz would pop up for the granny kick, yet all the old person madness going on in the rest of the movie somehow totally slipped my mind. Silly me.

post #32 of 67
Great list. Reminds me to watch PUNISHER: WAR ZONE again. What a delightful film.
post #33 of 67
As incredible as this list has been so far, the decision to continue the column with a halo over Rooney's head is what turns it into a timeless CHUD classic.

Gentlemen, I am in awe.
post #34 of 67
Quote:
Originally Posted by Reasor View Post

As incredible as this list has been so far, the decision to continue the column with a halo over Rooney's head is what turns it into a timeless CHUD classic.
Gentlemen, I am in awe.


A nifty idea of Renn's and Josh's I do believe.

 

post #35 of 67

HA!  I didn't even catch the halo!  Marvelous.

post #36 of 67
Quote:
Originally Posted by David Oliver View Post


A nifty idea of Renn's and Josh's I do believe.

 


Close. I said I didn't think we should A) stop doing the Rooney bit, nor B) make any kind of comment about it. Then Mike Flynn, I believe, suggested the halo as a suitable compromise. To which Renn seconded the motion. At which point Mr. Butler made it up. It was a glorious team effort.

post #37 of 67


 

Quote:
Originally Posted by Joshua Miller View Post


Close. I said I didn't think we should A) stop doing the Rooney bit, nor B) make any kind of comment about it. Then Mike Flynn, I believe, suggested the halo as a suitable compromise. To which Renn seconded the motion. At which point Mr. Butler made it up. It was a glorious team effort.



And there you have it.

post #38 of 67
post #39 of 67

One of the best "Surprise motherfucker!" moments in my cinematic memory.

post #40 of 67

This is the only one on the list where I actually feel bad for the character.

post #41 of 67

He should have taken more care.

post #42 of 67

Christ, that beach photo.

post #43 of 67
Quote:
Originally Posted by Schwartz View Post

Christ, that beach photo.



Oh my god, I didn't catch that the first time, thought it was a generic postcard. Awesome!

post #44 of 67
"And hell, this Torrance family even has a walking panic alarm, since this crazy little kid has the shine too. Surely he’ll keep his little ivory nose out of room 237 and leave you to rest beneath your Afro goddess for the winter though…"

This reminded me of a conversation I had with a Samoan colleague back at Bragg. "What the hell is wrong with white people? You never hear about brothers dying in skydiving or alligator wrestling accidents..." Those were good times. Thanks for the flashback.
post #45 of 67

Nicely done column.  I always felt bad for Halloran in the film -- he survives in the book!  That nasty Jack Torrance. 

post #46 of 67

 

 

Quote:
he took some buckshot to the fuckspot.

Masterful. This may be my favorite entry on the list, and I haven't even watched this movie. I'll have to remedy that right quick.

post #47 of 67

It's actually a pretty great little movie, although it gets a little ponderous at times.  But it's got some terrific realistic gunplay, a clever and unusual chase sequence, and a prominent supporting role for Nicky Katt!  What more do you really want from a crime flick?

post #48 of 67
post #49 of 67

I take a slightly different direction for today's...

 

http://www.chud.com/74566/chud-list-geriatrocities-day-fifteen/

post #50 of 67

No Mr. Butler, you are a shitty movie.

 

Nah, you're actually OK. Sorely mistaken though. 

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