Phrases that ought to get you a punch in the face

2) With all due respect...........

3) it is what it is

I like it is what it is

Heres one "some people say", a phrase used in news reporting to inject bias into questions. "some people say democrats are evil.. How do you respond to that, Mr President?" 

One of the worst:

"So, what do you like?"

It's an absurdly expansive question, and generally is asked by people who don't really care about the answer

"I'm not racist/homophobic, but...."

BLAH BLAH BLAH... used as a sentence filler.  

"Just sayin'..."

Most gutless, passive aggressive phrase ever.

"Thank you much"

"FML"

"Can I ask you a question...?"

"What are you thinking?"

If I wanted you to know what I was thinking and I would be speaking. GET OUT OF MY HEAD! 

"I have a quick question"   I'm guilty of saying this, knowing full well it's not going to be a quick answer.

"Never heard of it."

This one is especially irksome for me because it's always said in such a condescending tone, as though all culture must be approved by my philistine friends and acquaintances before it came be deemed of any value.

Not quite a phrase, but calling anyone over the age of ten "sport," "pal," "buddy," or such should be grounds for pain-giving.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Whiteboy Jones 

Not quite a phrase, but calling anyone over the age of ten "sport," "pal," "buddy," or such should be grounds for pain-giving.

Cool, whatever you say, slick.

"Can we talk?"

Ugh.

1) People calling you "guy". That shit will not stand.

2) The use of "Okay" in conversation.

Example:

"How was your day?"

"Cool! I did "this" and "this" and "this",,,,"

"Okay..."

It's like telling someone "I hear you but I am totally feigning interest here. Let me know when you're done flapping your lips".

3) Not a phrase but the "high-five" needs to fucking die. It's viciously condescending to both parties.

"You rock."

I am certainly guilty of aggressively calling people "buddy". I deserve pain. 

"It's not gonna win any OSCARS, but..."

"It was ENTERTAAAINING..."

"I didn't think the Phantom Menace was all that bad..."

"What's your astrological sign?"

"Hey, would you be so kind as to punch me in the face?"

"Can I get a dollar"

"You gonna eat that"

"Is that herpes"

"That's what she said"

"Is that a ________ in your pocket or are you just happy to see me"

"I like to turn my brain off when I go to the movies."

"I don't want to have to think when I go to the movies."

"Subtitles...?!"

"Got an extra cigarette?"

Quote:

Originally Posted by BlackyShimSham 

I am certainly guilty of aggressively calling people "buddy". I deserve pain. 

Whenever I do that I end up saying it in a Terrance and Phillip voice. Just can't help it.

I really hate "chief" and "boss". Unfortunately last time I got "chiefed", I ended up using it all the time afterwards, so I'm a hypocrite and an asshole.
 

Quote:

Originally Posted by EdBighead 

"Is that herpes"

I may have to start using that one.
 

"Work smarter not harder people"

"Think outside the box people"

"There is no ' I ' in team people"

"Work 110% people"

"TGIF"

I could go all fucking day..........(that's what she said)..aaaaaah!!!!

Can I get a dollar is a good one.

Pretty much anything involving, "If ____ does that again I'm gonna _____."

No you're not, if you were going to do it you would have. Even more so because ninety percent of the time the person making threats would piss themselves if they actually got punched.

Edit: I call everyone boss, I'm not really sure I deserve a punch in the face for it but to each their own I guess.

"It would behoove you to..."

This can die.

Quote:

Originally Posted by TheGhost 

Can I get a dollar is a good one.

 

Pretty much anything involving, "If ____ does that again I'm gonna _____."

 

No you're not, if you were going to do it you would have. Even more so because ninety percent of the time the person making threats would piss themselves if they actually got punched.

 

Edit: I call everyone boss, I'm not really sure I deserve a punch in the face for it but to each their own I guess.

Jackie Mason said it best. "JEWS DON'T FIGHT! They don't fight. They almost fight. If he'd said one more woid, I'd a killed 'em."

Only it's not just Jews it's every drunk friend I ever had.

Anybody over the age of 13 saying, "I'm down" or "I'm down with it".

Any sort of random, baseless qualifier bothers me. "It is what it is." "That's life." "That's just the way it goes."

Yes, thank you for filling that brief second of silence with an explanation like that. NOW I get it.

Luckily I get to avoid most crazy drunks but the guys I hangout with are either folks I help instruct with at the jiu jitsu academy, old military buddies or co-workers. Most of them are pretty laid back, chill guys. Tough dudes are like real gangsters. They don't need to tell you they're gonna kick your ass, you'll know when you're on the floor.

It would behoove you to...kills my soul. I've never in my life heard anyone say, "Is that herpes." but wow. I'm kind of curious what you get into now Ed.

Edit: I used the word guys like forty times. I need to buy a thesaurus. 

"Everything happens for a reason."

Also, when people say, "I'd die for ___" or "I'd kill to get _____." I know a guy who has a job that gets him TONS of free stuff that others have to pay for, and whenever he talks about possibly getting free access to this new free thing, he says this, and I always tell him, you could wait a couple of weeks and then just pay, dude. It's pretty cheap. And much cheaper than prison.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bradito 

"Everything happens for a reason."

"Like my FIST to your FACE!?"

Oh... I hate hate hate the use of:

"Whatever..."

or

"Whatevs..."

in order to brush someone's line of thought off.  A total conversation stopper.

And:

"Why're you getting so angry?"

"Calm down..."

"Take it easy..."

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bradito 

"Everything happens for a reason."

Holy shit, THIS. "Thanks for minimizing & dismissing the misfortunes of others, douchebag".

"Agree to disagree."

No, agree for you TO BE WRONG.

A lot of stuff like that. "Well, that's just my opinion." Of course it's your opinion. What is it, fucking FACT? I feel like so many people have to apologize for being opinionated. No. You have an opinion, and you think it's superior to other peoples' opinions. That's okay. Just back it up. Don't pussy out with some sort of "everybody is different and special!" bullshit.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bradito 

"Everything happens for a reason."

"God has a plan...."

Also, since this convo has riled me up, any sort of l33tspeak. On computers. In REAL LIFE. Make it END.

STOP LOL.

Echoing the hatred for "That's what she said." That doesn't even deserve the effort of a closed fist, just a nice slap across the mouth.

"Fail" or worse, it's big brother "epic fail." In fact, using the word "epic" in general. One of many adjectives that have been stripped of their power.

Quote:

Originally Posted by TheGhost 

Luckily I get to avoid most crazy drunks but the guys I hangout with are either folks I help instruct with at the jiu jitsu academy, old military buddies or co-workers. Most of them are pretty laid back, chill guys. Tough dudes are like real gangsters. They don't need to tell you they're gonna kick your ass, you'll know when you're on the floor.

 

It would behoove you to...kills my soul. I've never in my life heard anyone say, "Is that herpes." but wow. I'm kind of curious what you get into now Ed.

 

Edit: I used the word guys like forty times. I need to buy a thesaurus. 

Whenever I see a co-worker with a rash or a pimple or even a cut I always ask them "Is that herpes"? and THEY want to punch ME. They don't dare 'cause I'm the quiet guy at work who never smiles and looks very ethnic. I guess I look threatening. It's funny as hell :-)

Also, I kind of hate "leave my wife/girlfriend alone," but your mileage may vary. ;)

I expect someone to say they hate "your mileage may vary."

Quote:

Originally Posted by Gabe T 

Also, since this convo has riled me up, any sort of l33tspeak. On computers. In REAL LIFE. Make it END.

 

CONVO!?  I'll kill you!

"Take a chill pill"

"Chill out"

"Chillax"

When white folks end anything with "izzle".

Oh yeah say "giggity" again motherfucker and I might almost hit you.

"Plenty of fish in the sea."

Yeah, I guess my speech patterns can be douchey as well. "Convo" is not something I should be using. I am an adult.

Speaking of adults, I kinda think the terms "overrated" and "underrated" should be left alone when you get older. Once you've experienced a world of opinions and thoughts, who cares about the arbitrary ranking of the general consensus? By calling something under or overrated, you're giving someone an arbitrary worth assigned by the masses, and then feeling the need to READJUST that arbitrary worth, as if the universe was previously imbalanced.

"Alternative music"

Anything longing for a bygone era that didn't exist. "They don't make 'em like they used to." "Kids these days." "Things are worse than ever!" "We live in scary times!" etc. etc.