THE RUM DIARY Post Release

He made a mistake casting dynamic, sexy Amber Heard as Kemp's bland, unappealing obsession, you mean??

Yeah, this didn't work. Depp is too old, and his character is too ill-sketched. If Kemp is supposed to be a real character (and not a Thompson surrogate), then he seems like a placid go-along for the entire movie.

During the hallucination, Michael Rispoli's tongue starts stretching and he calls it an "accusatory gibblet" and you very much wonder who would utter such forced prose, because Kemp just seems pretty monosyllabic at that point.

But if you viewed it as X-MEN ORIGINS: HUNTER S. THOMPSON, it's also kind of bullshit, because Kemp goes from being an opportunistic slacker to an idealistic truth-seeker because... he's trying to nail Amber Heard, but she's dating a capitalist dickhead, I guess. Dreadfully unearned character arc.

Still, Amber Heard, and there are a lot of beaches. I suppose if you wanted to drink in the theater and put your feet up while 30 degree November weather is howling right outside the door, there are worse places to be.

To me, Amber Heard isn't quite as lacquered/comatose as January Jones, but she's perilously close. Maybe she's a real actress with a lot of quirk and depth, and she just hasn't been cast well yet. Maybe. (Happens occasionally. Wouldn't have expected Monster from Theron's work in 2 Days in the Valley.)

Amber Heard spits fire in Drive Angry. Legitimately one of my favorite performances of the year. She acts like she stole Blake Lively's lunch money and punched her in the face. She does not belong in the same conversation as January Jones.

I was let down by Drive Angry, but I definitely enjoyed Fichtner and Heard's performances.  Not close to January Jones-bot at all!

It's a bummer to hear Rum Diaries doesn't completely work; I love Robinson's work and have a soft spot for Depp in Hunter Mode. Oh well, will check it out anyway as it sounds fun at least. 

Well, I'll say this much. Amber Heard definitely doesn't share January Jones' dismaying habit of cocking her head like a dog baffled by its own farts. She has a modicum of spark. Truly, I don't remember much of her from Drive Angry -- my fealty there is to the always-awesome Fichtner. As I say, perhaps someone someday will cast her in a role conceived as something other than eye candy.

As for the flick itself, I judged it as much of a follow-up to Withnail & I as to Fear and Loathing. The script, such as it is, is amorphous and Robinson really can't get the personal autobiographical juice into it that he did with Withnail, but I was glad to see him back in the chair again and that good feeling extended to much of the movie. It has an authentic tone of dissipation in an anarchic land. I'd say it's pretty minor, a noble effort. I don't feel a pressing need to see it again or to own it. Its main effect was to send me back to the shelf for Withnail. If even one review of Rum Diary that positively, alluringly references Withnail leads even one uninitiated viewer to that perfect film, it will have justified its existence. Not having read the source novel, I can't say as much for the book, though from some reports it's for HST completists only and lay fallow in a box for decades for a reason.