Quote:
Originally Posted by
dynamotv 
I think The Glaive is the ultimate movie cockblock. Quick. What's the plot of the movie? What was the name of the main character? What did the bad guy look like? What weapon did the good guy use? I rest my case.
OK, not cheating or stopping to think about it, the movie is Krull.
The lead character - Don't remember his name but he was about to marry Princess Lyssa when the Slayers attack his wedding. They're these guys with swords that shoot lasers and work for The Beast. When they get stabbed, they make some kind of big shriek and some kind of lobster like thing comes out of their head. A whole bunch of people are killed and he is left for dead and I think the princess is kidnapped.
The lead character (the prince?) gets a bunch of people put together on some kind of quest including a cyclops, I remember a scene where they're ambushed by the Slayers when they rise out of a swamp. At some point some guy has to go see some woman imprisoned in a web because she can tell them where the Beast's teleporting castle will appear in the next day. I think she was his wife and was being punished for killing their child or something like that. Where she lives is destroyed by a giant spider, the guy gets back to tell them where the castle will appear, releases the sand he was holding and dies. I think that might have been Robbie Coltrane.
They get to the castle, fight their way in, the Cyclops who was meant to wait somewhere that his death was predicted, didn't and turns up on a horse. There was some penalty for not following his future which turns out to be his being crushed by a closing stone wall when he helps them into the castle.
One of the things from the movie I don't remember is where he got the Glaive from (or even that it was called the Glaive) funnily enough but I do remember what it looked like. He finds the Beast which is always seen like it's far away and a bit like an alien from Alien except it talks a lot and spits fireballs. There's some sort of fight, the Beast is killed but the Glaive is stuck in it and can't come back when called. Everyone escapes, the Beast's castle disintegrates and is sucked upwards into the sky.
The film ends where the prince gives one of his surviving companions who I believe was a petty criminal, some sort of key. This guy says all surprised something like "Only the king's chief marshall has this key". Then he thinks about it, realises he is the new chief marshall, laughs like he's heard a particularly good joke and then everyone is filmed from behind walking into the distance across a field as the credits roll across this scene for a while.
I remember the lead actress (who I think was American) wasn't impressed to later find that she was redubbed by and English actress. Or was it the other way around? It probably was the earlier?
And I think Liam Neeson was in it somewhere.
How did I do? (There is no way to win in this situation is there?)
I'd better contribute something to the prop list side of things.
Where does Bernie from "Weekend at Bernie's" fall on the actor - prop spectrum?