The official "My wife woke me up this morning with two positive pregancy test thingies" thread.

Some serious congratulations are defintely in order!

Though my reflexive response in these situations is usually one of pessimism and panic, in this instance I'll table my usual rubric for grading news of this sort and offer up a sincere congratulations along with bonus wishes for a happy future

 

EDIT: $5,000 LUCITE CRIB

 

Go for it!

Congratulations!

As to your concerns: we don't have any children and don't plan on having any (various reasons), so I'm certainly no expert on the matter. That being said, you're taking the steps that we would take if my wife did get pregnant (adjust finances, cancel vacations, and consider moving to a better school district). You were wanting a child in the future, so the desire is there to be a parent...that's GOOD. You're motivated by desire rather than by OH SHIT YOU'RE PREGNANT HOW DO I FAKE MY DEATH I'M SO FUCKED levels of unpreparedness. I think you'll do fine.

Best of luck now and in the future. May your wife and your child be healthy and stable through the entire process.

Not a breeder and never will be, but my friends are.  Two words of advice through observation: 

 

-DO NOT spend a ton of money on clothes.  They're only gonna get covered in spit and shit, anyway. 

 

-The Baby Bjorn is seriously the greatest thing ever. 

 

 

Congrats!

 

Congrats, The Closer!  I'm very happy for you and your wife.  My advice is to do everything you can to have fun for the next seven months or so because you will never be able to have fun with that kind of abandon again.  Bless! 

Congratulations!  As the father of two small creatures, I can say that your life will change unequivocally.  Your social life will go the wayside, as will the concept of "sleep" for at least the first year (though you may get lucky).  But it is certainly not in fact all bad... just some major life altering to wrap your head around. 

 

Forget that ridiculously-priced lucite crap.  Just get a nice, well-made wooden "lifetime" crib, it can fit a newborn comfirtably, and as they grow, can be converted into a toddler bed, then a single bed.  A little more $$$ upfront, but you won't be buying any further beds for the spawn all the way up to when they leave your house forever to go to college.

 

 

 

 

As the proud father of twin 3 year olds, I can offer some advice and congrats. I don't know your extended family situation but throw a mega baby shower. It might feel a little like mooching but random family members were getting together to make sure we had all the major appliances like high chairs and cribs and baby swings and carriers and car seats and a ton of diapers and all sorts of baby clothes. Some of it wasn't exactly what we wanted but we didn't pay for it, so, fair trade. At this early point, miscarriage concerns probably weigh heavily on your lady. It's a delicate time and it isn't easy to handle if it doesn't work out (that is the main reason for not telling people right away). Don't find it funny when emotions are all over the place. I can't count the number of times my wife was up, then down within seconds and I thought is was hilarious because she knew it, she just couldn't control it. Find a place where you can hide and laugh. Pick a name a month early, write it down and put it in your wallet. Spelling the name wrong or switching their names by mistake is not fun. There is a ton of stuff once the wee one arrives though but, overall, enjoy it. There isn't anything like doing this stuff for the first time.

My son just turned 7 weeks old yesterday and it's pretty great. The fact that you're worried about being a shitty parent is the single best indication that you won't be one. Our kid was unexpected (about a year and a half ahead of our plan) and yeah, everything sort of changes but not in the ways you'll think. I've done practically nothing in the past seven weeks except for work and spend time with him and I couldn't be happier. My social life has almost entirely died and it hasn't even crossed my mind. 

 

Practical advice: they outgrow clothes FAST as well as diapers. We had a closet full of diapers ready in advance and he's already outgrown the Newborn size. By far our most used purchase over the first seven weeks has been his vibrating rocker chair thing, and the glider we sit in to rock him.

 

Congratulation!

It may be cynical, but depending on your friends and families, yes, you might want to delay buying clothes for the kid, and just have a lot of parties and get-togethers. You'd be surprised who you can milk for some tot duds.

 

Congratulations!

Congrats!  Get as much sleep as you can now.

Congrats Closer! Great that you're still able to take your trip as well - nice one mate.

Congrats man.

 

As a guy with two girls (5 and 7) I can tell you that from my experience, through in laws and friends, girls are way easier than boys until like 12...then shit gets real son!

 

I was still in the service when my oldest came kicking and screaming into the world and I couldn't have been any more machismo about how this shit was, "No big deal." And in some ways I was right, but not the ones I thought. You'll get mountains of enjoyment out of things you've started to take for granted in the next 18 years. It really is like being born again yourself. Every single thing out there under the sun is amazing to your kid and you'll be hard pressed not to be a blabbering marshmallow the first time they freak out over a rainbow or the sunrise.

 

Great times man. It's a pretty wild ride.

Congratulations man! Not a parent myself so can't give any first-hand advice, but glad it's worked out for you guys.

Congrats, Closer!

 

(you'd BETTER keep posting in the workout thread with tips though!!!)

As a non-parent, but ex-part time Wal-Mart employee, alls I can say is COUPONS! For baby food, formula, diapers, etc. You'd be shocked how much money you can save. Couponscouponscoupons.

Congrats man!

And to add to that:  Sam's Club or Costco for diapers, unless you're one of those people much better than me who is going to go green with the diapers.  Then again, every friend of mine who tried that eventually broke down and went disposable.

 

My grandparents are where I go for financial wisdom.  They lived through the depression and are living a (very) comfortable retirement.  When my wife and I were thinking about having kids we went to them to ask them when was the right time, and as always they gave me some of the best advice you can ever be given:

 

"If you wait until you can afford to have children you'll never have them."

 

So yeah, the finances tighten up but things tend to work themselves out.  It won't take long to find an easy source of hand-me-down clothes that you aren't expecting.  We barely know the people across the street but as soon as they had a baby my wife was walking over boxes and boxes of clothes our son had outgrown.  The problem will be keeping yourself in check because you'll absolutely see things that you can talk yourself into your kid not being able to live without.

 

As for what kind of a father you'll be...remember that something like 80% of all babies have fallen over 3 feet to the ground at some point in the first year.  Remember that because you'll feel a lot less like an a-hole when it happens to you.  Also, remember the awesome things your Dad did?  Do those things.  Remember the horrible things he did?  Don't do those.  It sounds simple, but it's really easy to fall into the patterns you know.

 

The last thing I'd say is talk to your kids.  I don't mean baby talk, you can do that too, but on important matters don't talk down to them.  Keep it simple, watch the gears turning inside their head, and realize that this little person you are responsible for is listening to every word.  When you're wrong, simply tell your child you were wrong.  They need to know it's okay to be wrong as long as you learn from it and they'll actually learn it quicker from your example than from you "teaching" it to them.  My wife used to laugh at me for how I would talk to my daughter when she was very young.  I'd use simple words but my wife would laugh that the concepts were going right over her head.  Then it became quickly apparent that my daughter was catching on to a lot more than either of us could have expected at a very young age.  It's easy to underestimate what your kids are capable of, because none of us really have a track record when we first become parents.

Congrats!

I want to LIKE A-Pathetic's post so much.  But I'm out of them!

I had to read this at least twice to understand you weren't talking about diapers making you green. That's how heavily horrid diapers sit in my mind. I'm haunted.

 

It's very exciting, The Closer.  Don't worry.  I remember being surprised how much of caring for a baby came naturally.  For every mistake of your parents you try not to make there will be another that you end up making without realizing it.  You have to just do your best, provide love and structure, and hope for the best.  Even though my kids aren't little anymore, I remember what it was like before they were jaded teenagers, and still consider them the best thing that ever happened to me.

 

 

Dancing while carrying a baby in a Bjorn is a great workout.  I've done it!

 

Congrats. 

May I make a few suggestions?  Do not even crack open any copies of What to Expect When You Are Expecting.

 

Instead head to any of the books by Dr. Sears, The Pregnancy Book and definitely The Baby Book.  Much better resources.  You can also find much better information for yourself in any material from the American Academy of Husband Coached Childbirth(AAHCC) and its publications such as Natural Childbirth the Bradley Way and Husband Coached Childbirth. 

 

I would suggest finding a Bradley method instructor in your area to sign up for birthing classes and stay away from Lamaze.  The former will do two things, teach your wife how to work with her body for as natural a birth as she so chooses and it will also include you in the pregnancy and birth in ways that are very beneficial to you and your wife.  The latter will only teach your wife how to focus outside her body and fight the natural process that is going on.

 

Other book ideas include So That's What They're For!, The Thinking Woman's Guide to a Better Birth and The Continuum Concept.  Especially the latter.

 

Attachment Parenting is a concept that I would look into as well, most of the books I have mentioned will champion it.  Someone mentioned the Baby Bjorn's, I would personally stay away from them and also walkers for the same reason: they put the weight of the baby on the low back much too soon and before the childs musculature is ready to cope with that upright position with the legs splayed open.  Some research suggests this could be the MOI for pars fractures.  I suggest slings for several reasons which are apparent from some of the books I have linked and if you want more info I will be happy to go into more detail.  I also suggest foprgoing a carrier and just using the sling.  May seem like more work but that closeness is unbelievable; and my ex and I swear that we would get looks of jealousy from parents who saw us wearing our kids and theirs were sitting in carriers far away from their bodies not receiving stimulation.

 

If you are financially able(it's cheaper but not usually covered by insurance) and so inclined(there are further considerations based upon your wife's history that you mentioned I can go into if you are interested) may I suggest looking in to midwifery, homebirth and a waterbirth.

 

Look into birth plans especially if you decide to go the hospital route for your birth.  This is basically a document that allows you and your wife to stay in control of this experience.

 

And since this is a movie site, fire up Netflix and watch The Business of Being Born.  If you take nothing away from it take the following, birth is a natural process that has been turned into a disease process by modern medicine.  Return as close to the root of a natural birth as you are comfortable with.

 

Hope to hear how things progress.

Edited by TzuDohNihm - 12/6/11 at 3:19pm

Congrats, though I'd say hold off till the 3rd month before jumping for joy. My lady and I did that and the trip to the doctors office didn't turn out so well.

 

I really hope it works out for you :)

Congrats, daddy to be....

 

 

My own piece of advice for you would be to buy preowned furniture and clothes whenever practical. . The kid will outgrow things so quickly. If I could start up a company, it would be something involving renting kid's clothing....sort of like netflix for kids stuff. You keep it until you need the next size up, send it back for the next set.

Otisburg doesn't seem to have one yet.