THE MADNESS BEGINS ANEW
Seen it
Never seen it
1. Scott Pilgrim vs the World - My new official comfort food movie. And it hasn't lost any of its potency. Matter of fact, little details are STILL becoming obvious. It's a stunning achievement, to this day.
2. Goodfellas - Also in the category of stunning achievements that refuse to age.
3. Punisher War Zone - Where the fuck did this film come from? The first film might as well not even exist for how much more brutal, cool, and just plain FUN this movie is. Whenever I'm having a bad day, I think of a parkour dude getting shot in midair by a rocket launcher, and it reminds me that it's not so bad. Not so bad.
4. Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves - Still succeeds on a pure Hollywood level in spite of Costner, not for one second because. Everything besides him is all right. Rickman was probably shitting half-digested scenery from this film till about 1996, and GOD BLESS HIM FOR IT.
5. The Wizard of Oz - Aside from Somewhere Over The Rainbow, I still hate most of the music from this with a passion. Thankfully, everything else is still timelessly great.
6. Gettysburg - Civil. War. PORN. It's an admirable achievement, I'll say that, and the film has to be commended for staying pretty clinical about showing strife on both sides. And Jeff Daniels is amazing here. It's just indulgent to the full hilt. The score is also relentless in its heroism, and not in that great John Williams way, either.
7. True Grit (2010) - Liked this a lot more the second go round. Funny how divorcing oneself from the Oscar hype does that for a movie.
8. Warrior (2011) - It's an okay movie with GREAT parts and performances. My problem is, it seems so against aiming for obvious catharsis that it ends up not paying anything off properly, after setting up quite a bit of surplus background characterization and plot. Worst off is Nolte, probably because his story, his performance is the most soul-crushingly sad thing I've seen in ages, and by the end, it still is. He is completely denied the forgiveness, or love, or resolution the brothers get. It colors the whole ending for me, and I can't decide whether to see it as a failing of the film, or a conscious, cold-blooded choice.
9. Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy - Directed and acted to the hilt, but good Lord, its DENSE. More than once, I felt the driving need for a Wiki. Comes together nicely though. Great seeing Oldman and Mark Strong play straight.
10. Red Tails - It does indeed occasionally spill over into cheese, the more modern parts of the score blow, and the climax comes and goes before it even registers it was a big deal. But when the film is on point, and that's fairly often, it does its job well. It possibly also helps that three of the four trailers prior showed black men looking like complete fucking asshats, so seeing them be amazing here felt even more heartening.
11. The Artist - Worth every goddamn ounce of the backlash. Completely hollow film. Its got its heart in the right place, for sure. Its definitely an old school Hollywood song-and-dance showbiz romance when it comes down to it. And yeah, I was all about someone making a modern age silent film. The movie just doesn't spend the time or emotion to make the audience give the required amount of fucks to let all that fly.
12. Shame - The textbook definition of a hard watch, but its fucking fantastic. I can see it not doing it for some. The film doesn't slow for a second to fill in its numerous blanks, and we're surrounded at every turn by really ugly, fucked up people. It made it really fascinatingly sad, though. On that same note, it is also now the winner and new world champion of the Saddest Threesome Ever award.
13. Tucker and Dale vs Evil - Somewhere between this and Behind the Mask is a BRILLIANT turnaround on horror tropes. This flick has a far higher rate of effectiveness, most of it due to Tyler Labine keeping a straight faced sweetness and charm to him at all times. The guy carries this film on his shoulders. Tudyk makes a LOT out of very little as well. The teenager subplot is a great idea that doesn't get enough room to breathe but it too works. Just a really fun little flick.
14. Hugo - Less a love letter to silent film, less a love letter to Melies as it is a love letter to imagination, and not letting the business side get in the way of what gets most filmmakers into the medium to begin with. And that makes it amazing. And, yeah, on the clinical side, everyone's acting to the top of their abilities, and the 3D's put to great use.
15. Can't Hardly Wait - Has no business being good. Yet it is. It's a fantasy of high school parties, yes, but an endearing, entertaining one. The running gag of the Shermanator stealing shit is my favorite thing, though.
16. Fried Green Tomatoes - Feels like it doesn't have the heart to follow any of its plot threads as deep down the rabbit hole as it really should, despite all of them being worthy. So, it's just really toothless and safe and boring. Kathy Bates aces that role, though.
17. Black Dynamite - "Euphoria, shut the FUCK up! I know that was you! I ain't even gotta look! I should send your ass back to Crenshaw Pete! With his hot-ass coat hangers, bitch! Would you like that?!" Never. Gets. Old.
18. Meek's Cutoff - Effective little experiment with some ace performances, and an ambiguous ending that works, but only just barely. Good, but not terrible memorable.
19. Velvet Goldmine - Glam rock Citizen Kane. Thats all anyone had to say. Bale's experience isn't as vital to the story as it really shopuld be to bring it all full circle, but it remains a pretty raw experience nonetheless. I'd have been kinda sore about it if i were Bowie too.
20. Eurotrip - Another teen movie shock. It's a complete cartoon, and it knows it, and runs with it. The result is hilarious. But Scotty doesn't know.
21. Drive - Yep. Still amazing. Better with the "Driver's got Asperger's" angle, even.
22. Midnight In Paris - Wilson threatens to smug up the joint to an irreversible level at first, but Allen writes himself out of that corner in a hurry. His enthusiasm is so goddamned infectious, we're forced to run with everything else the film throws at us without question. Could've been a literary wank without that guidance, but it most definitely isn't.
23. Batman Returns - Prior to July 23rd, still the best Batman film, and dont let anyone ever tell you different.
24. The Grey - So, while I do think anyone decrying the ending has woefully missed the point of a beautiful, soulful, introspective experience that just happens to coincide with Liam Neeson dickpunching wolves....I understand. You're wrong...but I understand.
25. Young Adult - Holy hell AWKWARD. In the best possible way, but still. One of those great movies I think I'm good with one viewing. Patton Oswalt and Charlize Theron definitely got robbed of gold last month.
26. Haywire - 70s aesthetic, 80s plot, 90s action, 00s brutality. But I would let Gina Carano do any terrible thing she wanted to me right this second.
27. Chicago - It's still good, even with Zellweger's brattiness grating the shit out of everyone. Still boggles the mind that it's a Best Picture winner, but, that's the fucking Academy for you.
28. OSS 117: Cairo Nest of Spies - It's "cute", and little else. Phil Nobile was dead on about how this film related to The Artist, though. Critics got punk'd. Hard. Which makes that win even more fucking ridiculous.
29. The Muppets - Even with its flaws as a narrative, it's still running on all heart, and I love it.
30. Being Elmo - Fantastic little tribute to Kevin Clash, and goes out of its way to prove he's worth it. Even made my heart warm to Elmo for the first time in about a decade and a half. Big Bird still runs that fucking street, though, and nobody better ever forget it.
31. My Week With Marilyn - The story starts strong, settles for cloying. Williams makes it entirely worth it, though. She's wonderful.
32. 21 Jump Street - How the fuck is this movie amazing? Just...how the fuck did that happen? FUCK YOU, SCIENCE.
33. Chronicle - So, Hollywood....that Akira film you're trying to make? Don't bother.
34. The Hunger Games - It's a solid streamlined adaptation of the book with some white-hot bright spots. Namely, Lawrence, Tucci, Kravitz, and Harrelson. The times when it breaks from the book mostly work. The first half prior to the games themselves really is a great film. The games themselves are the issue. I didn't mind the subtler shakycam at all while theyre at District 12, and the first minutes after the countdown ends, the confusion amidst chaos feels right. Everything afterward is overkill. There's a lot of inexplicable missing plot/insight. Still, worthwhile of its pedigree.
35. John Carter - Oh, man, this was just great. Rocky start, but settles into great pulpy storytelling that tightrope walks the line between cheese and drama without breaking a sweat. Wanted another one of these flicks the second it ended. Now the fact that it flopped just makes me depressed.
36. Monty Python and the Holy Grail - Q: Is there any more ballsy an ending to a comedy film than this and will there ever be again? A: NO.
37. X-Men First Class - Yep. Still pretty awesome. Thank Christ.
38. Adventures of Tintin - Still the best adventure film imaginable, from a guy who one should NEVER, EVER doubt is one of the best filmmakers we'll ever have.
39. Attack The Block - Still the perfect mix of urban commentary and awesome, harsh alien action. Why isn't the kid who played Moses a fucking star right now?
40. Due Date - Entirely rides on Downey and Galifianakis, who just ace the shit out of it. Downey is too awesome to let the film make a TOTAL fool out of him, and Galifianakis brings just enough naivete and just NICENESS to hate him, which is the balance this kind of film rarely pulls off. It's also still funny as hell.
41. Step Brothers - Reilly and Ferrell are good. Jenkins is better. That dude doesn't do comedy nearly often enough.
42. Akira - Film still feels completely timeless. The story is still imperfect and simplified, and yet still retains so much primal, visceral impact. A classic, for a reason.
43. Titanic 3D - Still a better movie than cynics will ever give it credit for. A better movie with some laughably bad parts, but better. Separate from that, however, its also a pretty big reminder that nothing will ever fuck with the theatrical experience, no matter what kind of instant streaming fuckery the future decides to throw at us. I'm also including the 3D in that appraisal, btw. Cameron kinda rocks at utilizing the tech.
44. 40 Year Old Virgin - Amazing how much of this movie plays just based on not letting its characters be complete fucking assholes. Partial, yes, but even then, it never becomes the unaware text of the film. Carell still carries it.
45. Darkman - Way broader than I remember, but then, I havent seen it in years. Raimi knows damn well what he's doing, though, and the film never flies off the rails. Just a grand little slice of comic book/operatic/Grand Guignol filmmaking.
46. Jesus Christ Superstar - Because if you're not celebrating a guy who wanted world peace, everyone to be able to love each other, who was able to conjure awesome snacks out of thin air while wearing a bathrobe and birkenstocks with sweet 70s guitar riffs, you're doing it wrong.
47. American Reunion - 2012 self says: "Lazy. The structure for a really classy, smart, truly adult American Pie 12 years later movie is here, because where they put these characters is the right place, but they're not even remotely interested in going at it in the depth they should've. Somehow, that makes it sadder." 1999 self: SHUT THE FUCK UP, ITS SO MUCH FUN I MISSED THESE GUYS SO MUCH 4 STARS LOLOLOLOL
48. Religulous - Great idea, botched by Maher's smugness. He's not asking questions for genuine answers. Otherwise, he'd have talked to more Christian/Muslim/Jewish academics. He's mostly in it for the lulz. And he's not good at it.
49. Cabin In The Woods - Not just a perfect deconstruction of horror as a genre, but, as Devin said, the ultimate reminder of why we all need the genre, even when it's gone to shit.
50. We Bought A Zoo - Its the least cynical movie made in recent memory. Every once in a while, I need a movie running on heart and little else. Movies have worked with infinitely less.
Edited by Justin Clark - 4/25/12 at 6:50am





