This is the part where I grab a parasol, put on my pretty sundress, and admit that I'm not specifically looking to get laid. I'm looking for a partner. Sex is a big part of that of course but it's not my immediate goal. I just want to click with a pretty gal.
Originally Posted by Evi
My question is, apart from the good chat, did you create enough sexual tension? Did you touch her a lot? Was there good eye contact and body-language? The reason I'm asking is that I used to have a lot of similar experiences, and they were usually down to the fact that even though we had an intellectual chemistry, the sexual chemistry wasn't there.
The other possibility of course is that she's already found someone else, which considering the amount of dates people go on, is annoyingly common with internet dating.
To answer your question, yeah, I was pretty on the ball with the flirting and the eye contact/body language was exquisitely positive throughout. But 10 minutes in, it was clear that there was no sexual tension to be had (she reminded me too much of my sister). That was ok because I went on the date primarily because she was really interesting &, since she was chasing ME, I wanted to go out without someone who'd actually WANTED to spend time in my company. Which is a nice change from the norm.
Well, she got back to me saying a couple days ago saying:
"Hi! I'm so sorry for the delay. Work has been crazy [she's a litigator].
I had a great time hanging out with you too. However, I've been thinking how unbelievably nervous I was, and it occurred to me that I'm not yet ready to start dating again [she'd mentioned having gone through a real nasty breakup two years ago].
Thanks for the dinner invite though.
I hope we can stay in touch."
Even though this a boiler plate blow-off, I wrote back saying that I didn't think there was any romantic chemistry on the date but that there was a ton of platonic chemistry & I thought that we'd be a good match in that regard. I agree that she probably just found someone else to go out with (this has been happening to me 9 timers out of 10 on OkC). Though, waiting until the day after our proposed 2nd outing to respond to my invitation is pretty inexcusable. The ball's in her court if she wants to be friends. I've since moved on.
Despite all of this bullshit, OkC is actually becoming kind of fun. I'm meeting some really cool & interesting ladies I'd otherwise never cross paths with.