Dating Tips/Advice - Page 25

Quote:

Originally Posted by HarleyQuinn22 

1. She's only interested in orgasms, not you.  She's made this abundantly clear.

 

2. I didn't know it was possible to over-jerk your dick.  

1. I don't think that's the case.  There were no orgasms.  But not for lack of trying.  Obviously need more practice.

2. What I meant to say is that I have trained my dick and for now it's only responding to my right hand.  

One time I had sex with this girl while we were staying at my parents house and there was white come all over the sheets and we left and didn't do anything about it because it was the guest bedroom and we were staying another night anyway. and when we came home my mom had apparently seen it and she did the laundry for us so we had clean sheets. the girl was mortified but i wasn't too concerned about it and we fucked so much that night that the next morning we slept through the garage sale that we were ostensibly there to be helping my parents with in the first place. my mom could have woken us up but she didn't. point is, my mom is the coolest. she really made up for making me leave the door open when i had lady friends over in high school. i suppose i'll have to buy her a house one of these days, and some sort of car. 

or, ya know, some new sheets......

Quote:

Originally Posted by Curiosity Cosby 

 

Exactly. Which doesn't really seem very conducive to people leaving their bedrooms and, you know, dating.

I dunno, There's Something About Mary had that right, you never want to go out fully cocked (fnar)

Quote:

Originally Posted by TzuDohNihm 

 

Were you sounding?

 

 

Sits back to wait for everyone to Google that one.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Monster Pete 

what he said!

piss piss piss pee

let's quit talking about jacking off and get back to date stuff before someone cums on someone, yeah?

Otherwise I'm going to post a mod challenge where someone has to print out a picture of another boarder in this thread or one of their posts and post a picture of their spooge on it.

I'll volunteer this image of myself:

edit - fucking copyrighted image. it was a cute Asian girl FYI.

but yeah, anyway. dating.

by the way i found that in a google image search for "mod challenge" seriously

Cool. Let's leave it chill and get back to the dating shit.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jake 

Otherwise I'm going to post a mod challenge where someone has to print out a picture of another boarder in this thread or one of their posts and post a picture of their spooge on it.

Yoda fleshlight would go great right here.

How many of you didn't learn your lesson last time?

Yeah, but "crazy" is the only flavor wimmin come in.

Fuck. Another one bites the dust.

I wrote this one on OkC a few weeks ago, saying that we seemed to be on the same wavelength, amongst other things. I joked alot. She responded quickly saying that I was "...very cute & obviously as smart & funny". I wrote back saying how she was "...lovely in ways that redefine the word". We had an immediate & easy rapport. The interest was mutual & equally forthcoming.

She said that she was presently on the East Coast & would return to LA at the end of the summer. She was also clear that she didn't want to be penpals while she was away but repeatedly stated just how much she was looking forward to meeting me, saying "...we have a lovely visit to look forward to". She ended her last message saying "very very sweet dreams" & that I "...sure was a tall, handsome drinkuhwater". I reciprocated appropriately & said that I was looking forward to getting to know her better and that she was as cool as she was effortlessly gorgeous.

That was 2 or 3 weeks ago & I've been eagerly awaiting our date. This was the first girl I'd spoken to online where the chemistry was easy, immediate, & strong.

Yesterday, she fucking deleted her OkC account.

This one, I really liked. This one, I really wanted. This one fucking hurts.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jake 

I am seriously a magnet for women who are mentally unstable. Jesus christ.

Dude, at this point I would happily be a magnet for mentally unstable women.Better than a magnet for NO women.

Art, first: that blows. Really. I felt the gut punch from here, reading it.

More generally: once again, I stand by my "meet in person ASAP" mantra. There's no substitute for what you can learn from someone by meeting them in public...AND, from experience and what others are writing here, if someone repeatedly delays or puts off meeting in person (or can't for the foreseeable future): move on. 

Yeah, that's definitely the way to go - way too much can happen in 3 weeks. But even if that's genuinely not possible, it's probably a good idea to swap numbers in case something like this happens.

All that said, that really sucks Art. You've had a bad run.

Quote:

Originally Posted by MichaelM 

More generally: once again, I stand by my "meet in person ASAP" mantra. There's no substitute for what you can learn from someone by meeting them in public...AND, from experience and what others are writing here, if someone repeatedly delays or puts off meeting in person (or can't for the foreseeable future): move on. 

Exactly. I've gone into my feelings on this a lot in the past so won't repeat myself, but I feel for ya Art. I've been in the exact same position, and seeing that profile deleted is a real gutpunch. You'll bounce back, mate. Look, if someone can just delete themselves after all that contact and not even warn you (Did she give you any other method of contact, even an email address?) it's fair to assume that for whatever reason the date would never have happened anyway. In a weird way, I think that stings less than keeping on assuming that the other person actually wanted to meet. 

Another thing I've learned, is if there is that blatant flirting going on, the calling each other 'cute' etc, it's doubly important to ask them out ASAP. If it's genuine flirting, you're going into a date with a shitload of mutual momentum that at the very least is probably going to lead to a great evening; if it's play/'I have an imaginary date on the internet' flirting there'll be a lot less enthusiasm and there's a good chance the contact will start tapering off very quick, in which case write 'em off.

Yup. I understand the need (and wisdom) of having a few exchanges before meeting, but meeting in person quickly simply helps filter out the players and those with whom you don't have chemistry. 

Quote:

Originally Posted by Workyticket 

 

Another thing I've learned, is if there is that blatant flirting going on, the calling each other 'cute' etc, it's doubly important to ask them out ASAP. If it's genuine flirting, you're going into a date with a shitload of mutual momentum that at the very least is probably going to lead to a great evening; if it's play/'I have an imaginary date on the internet' flirting there'll be a lot less enthusiasm and there's a good chance the contact will start tapering off very quick, in which case write 'em off.

I never ever go too far with the compliments, particularly with those about appearance. It might sound a bit game-playish, but I'd suggest not coming across as overly enthusiastic.

Quote:

Originally Posted by DJ Dylan 

Dude, at this point I would happily be a magnet for mentally unstable women.Better than a magnet for NO women.

I dunno, this girl had more issues than National Geographic. Having a depressed, unemployed 34 year-old cutter/alcoholic/cokehead who lives with her parents repeatedly throw herself at you and burst into tears because "you hugged me earlier and I'm just so lonely it hurts" is all kinds of sad.

She was cute, but holy mother of God.

Quote:

Originally Posted by DJ Dylan 

Dude, at this point I would happily be a magnet for mentally unstable women.Better than a magnet for NO women.

You say that, but I can tell you: after one experience with a crazy chick, you will not ever say that again. Unless you are also crazy. In which case: enjoy!

I guess one good thing about being a woman is that I've never been in danger of over-abusing my magic parts.  You poor bastards. 

There is no such thing as "over abusing" it's merely "being attentive". Some times very attentive, and there's ointments for chafing. Not that I've personally gone out and bought any.......

So things are going pretty well for me. Young lass and I that had been circling each other for a few months online finally started chatting a week ago and its moved onto steamy texting and gotten rather intense even before we've met - a meeting that at this stage sounds like it'll measure on the richter scale.

Finally meeting her this Friday.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Evi 

 

I never ever go too far with the compliments, particularly with those about appearance. It might sound a bit game-playish, but I'd suggest not coming across as overly enthusiastic.

Oh yeah, I totally agree. But there are times when you click with someone and the compliments just seem to happen, and in those cases I think it pays to keep in mind that it could either point to something very promising, or be total bullshit. In fact, I'd say a good rule of thumb is to always prepare for the possibility of bullshit until you at least have a couple of face-to-face meets under your belt, but which time it should've (Hopefully) transitioned away from an online thing.

Just wanted to second what Worky said.  I've learned to be extra wary of situations where the chemistry seems too good too soon.  The fall is that much harder, and it comes that much more out of nowhere.  As soon as you talked about how blatantly flirtatious she was being, a red flag went up inside my head.  I've been there too many times.

Honestly, with most of the girls I've met from online (which has not been too terribly many), they've either exhibited some small amount of reluctance early on (token resistance?), or been completely nonchalant about it.  If she acts too enthusiastic about meeting too soon, I've found it's usually too good to be true.

Well Im in that exact situation now, but I flatout refuse to be that cynical about it. I'll keep my wits about me and my head screwed on but fuck me guys, if you approach all of 'em that way you're gonna be guarding yourself against the one whos meant for you as much as the ones who aren't.

This shit takes risk kids, the risk of getting fucking hurt or blindsided.

I've been happily dating the same guy for 5 months now. He calls me gorgeous every day and I never tire of hearing it. Genuine compliments go a long way. He's meeting the family this weekend. If they don't scare him off, I'm not sure anything else with. They are 100% batshit insane. Wishing everyone good luck on the dating scene. It sucks, but when the person is right you'll know.

For me it's not really about being cynical, but being prepared for all eventualities. And here I'm really taking about instances where there's obvious flirtation being laid down thick straight from the off. I'm not saying you should think people like they're bullshitting as soon as there seems to be chemistry, becuase hey - in a lot of cases, there genuinely is (And nothing's more exciting than heading into a date where there's been an attraction established already). But by the time it gets to the date, you should have enough of an idea of how genuine that rapport is (Pending the obvious acid test of meeting once and for all).

It's really not about closing yourself off from people, more having the awareness that there are some people out there who are more interested in their own fun than they are yours. I prefer to think of it as the streetwise method of dating.

Interesting things transpired today with a complete stranger. Not trying to overthink it, but she's fucking cute and seemed taken by me.

So why is it that I find myself somehow more shy when talking to women who actually share my interests? Lately I've had opportunity to chat a bit with a girl who was a few years behind me back in highschool, and now is in her early 20s. I happen to find her to be very attractive. She somehow brought up the fact that she'd been renting videogames from a local college library, and I mentioned that you could get them from the public library as well. Her delighted reaction to this news took me aback, and earlier today when I ran into her again she was going on about how she took my advice and got out Portal 2. I asked her what she thought and she surprised me by going into a nuanced appraisal of Portal and how the first game should have been left alone as a cult classic, and the superb value of the Orange Box, ETC. I'm pretty sure that, logically, I should be pleased to find a woman who  knows what the Orange Box is... but instead I found it intimidating and couldn't think of much of anything to say.

Am I crazy?

You're not crazy, dude. That's normal. What, do you think, is triggering your nervousness?

The same thing happened with me on a date a while back. This girl & I'd met because we had EVERYTHING in common. Sitting across from her, I couldn't think of a single damn thing to say. Had I another chance, I'd have met the girl at a record store or something. A place where our common interests were on display around us.

If you see her again, think less about what you're gonna say & just ask her questions. Just try to relax, be yourself, & delve deeper into her interests. If there's something that she's into that you're excited about, tell her & that'll be another branch of the conversation. Just ask her questions about her interests & smile, dude.

I imagine that you're feeling this way because you think you've found someone who's perfect for you and get really desperate to not fuck it up which, ironically enough, ends up being the exact thing that DOES fuck it up. Art's suggestion about just relaxing is a good one. Show some interest in her, and don't feel you need to say something until you've actually got something worth saying.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jake 

I dunno, this girl had more issues than National Geographic. Having a depressed, unemployed 34 year-old cutter/alcoholic/cokehead who lives with her parents repeatedly throw herself at you and burst into tears because "you hugged me earlier and I'm just so lonely it hurts" is all kinds of sad.

 

She was cute, but holy mother of God.

Ummm yeah that's too crazy even for me. I do seem to like crazy to a certain extent. But that's too much even for me.

And Michael, I've had one experience with a crazy chick. Did it for 4 years and was engaged before I got out. Which I guess makes me crazy.

Been chatting with this extremely cute 21 year old on okcupid for the past couple days. We seem to have a lot in common and have been having pretty great conversations. Thinking I will ask her tomorrow if she would like to meet for tea at Dobra Tea on the weekend. We both share a love for tea, and that place is the perfect place to meet someone new.

Just read this and wanted to share, somehow it reminded me of this thread:

http://www.powells.com/biblio/18-9780983632726-0#product_details

It's a quick read, but kinda great.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Art Decade 

You're not crazy, dude. That's normal. What, do you think, is triggering your nervousness?

 

The same thing happened with me on a date a while back. This girl & I'd met because we had EVERYTHING in common. Sitting across from her, I couldn't think of a single damn thing to say. Had I another chance, I'd have met the girl at a record store or something. A place where our common interests were on display around us.

If you see her again, think less about what you're gonna say & just ask her questions. Just try to relax, be yourself, & delve deeper into her interests. If there's something that she's into that you're excited about, tell her & that'll be another branch of the conversation. Just ask her questions about her interests & smile, dude.

Good advice, thanks. I think my reasons for nervousness are what Evi cited below, that all of a sudden I noticed potential where I didn't see it before. Our interactions have been casual so far, but I was kind of taken by surprise when all of a sudden she ceased to be that annoying girl my younger sister used to be friends with and instead became interesting on another level.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Evi 

I imagine that you're feeling this way because you think you've found someone who's perfect for you and get really desperate to not fuck it up which, ironically enough, ends up being the exact thing that DOES fuck it up. Art's suggestion about just relaxing is a good one. Show some interest in her, and don't feel you need to say something until you've actually got something worth saying.

Very solid advice, I appreciate it, you guys.

So, I have a really weird situation coming up in three weeks. 

My fiance's friend is getting married, and Sam is the Made of Honor.  Only thing is, the best man, is Sam's old boyfriend.  How does one approach someone, who was essentially banging your soon to be wife a few years back? 

This really isn't a dating question, but for me, I have become socially awkward over the past couple years.  I'm fine when I'm around Sam, and when I'm around mine or her family.  But people I try to be friends with, I just can't do it.  That's sort of why I'm nervous about this wedding.  I'm going to meet more of her friends, and I just hope I don't come off strange, or rude, or like a jerk.  I find myself acting like this at my new job.  I just can't make one friend there.  Eat lunch alone, and anytime I get into a conversation, I either find myself saying too much, or not enough.  UGH.  This social anxiety is driving me nuts, and not to mention, giving me fucking headaches everytime I try and talk to someone.  Feeling fine all day, try talking to someone about the baseball game last night, feels like someone is squeezing my head in a vice. 

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dr Harford 

Good advice, thanks. I think my reasons for nervousness are what Evi cited below, that all of a sudden I notice potential where I didn't see it before. Our interactions have been casual so far, but I was kind of taken by surprise when all of a sudden she ceased to be that annoying girl my younger sister used to be friends with and instead became interesting on another level.

 

Very solid advice, I appreciate it, you guys.

Oh, and if you like her, don't forget to toss the occasional compliment in her direction. Tell her that you're impressed that she's into _______. Tell her that she has good taste in _____.
Always find something in the moment that you find cool & unique about her & compliment her.

So I finally meet this girl tomorrow night, the leadup has been epic, Im pretty sure she's become besotted with some ideal version of me and I'm not looking forward to her working out Im a long way from perfect and having to come crashing off the pedestal I have a sneaking suspicion I'm being placed upon, but this is certainly a unique experience as far as dating and meeting someone for the first time goes for me.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Monster Pete 

So, I have a really weird situation coming up in three weeks. 

 

My fiance's friend is getting married, and Sam is the Made of Honor.  Only thing is, the best man, is Sam's old boyfriend.  How does one approach someone, who was essentially banging your soon to be wife a few years back? 

 

This really isn't a dating question, but for me, I have become socially awkward over the past couple years.  I'm fine when I'm around Sam, and when I'm around mine or her family.  But people I try to be friends with, I just can't do it.  That's sort of why I'm nervous about this wedding.  I'm going to meet more of her friends, and I just hope I don't come off strange, or rude, or like a jerk.  I find myself acting like this at my new job.  I just can't make one friend there.  Eat lunch alone, and anytime I get into a conversation, I either find myself saying too much, or not enough.  UGH.  This social anxiety is driving me nuts, and not to mention, giving me fucking headaches everytime I try and talk to someone.  Feeling fine all day, try talking to someone about the baseball game last night, feels like someone is squeezing my head in a vice. 

I'm quite the socially awkward person myself, and my In Laws know I'm not much of a sports person, but I don't think my Father In Law watches much football or other sports anyway, so whenever I talk to him or my Brother In Laws it's about other stuff, and we get along fine. I lucked out, but I feel very comfortable around them. Try to take it easy when meeting her friends, and at worst "pretend" to be happy to meet them. They may end up liking you anyway.

Now on the topic of her ex-boyfriend, well, be the bigger man, and if he approaches you, smile and shake his hand. Shows you're a real man, and you look past his history with her. Plus it will show her that you're the right confident man for her. If he tries to be a prick, at least you were trying to be friendly. As well as not forgetting that she's with you now. She loves you, and nothing should get in the way of that.

So the night is tonight, and we're both a bit teenage-like in our excitement about finally meeting.

This should be interesting. I'm bona fide nervous over here - not that it could all go wrong, but that it could all go a lot more right than I was expecting at this point in my life.

to be continued...

Hoping it didn't suck!

Quote:

Originally Posted by Diva 

I've been happily dating the same guy for 5 months now. He calls me gorgeous every day and I never tire of hearing it. Genuine compliments go a long way. 

Genuine compliments absolutely make a gal feel like a million bucks.  Women do not spend forever getting ready so that no one will notice.  If you think she looks good, tell her so.  I got a whopper from my boyfriend the other day.  I'm not really a perfume person, but I've recently gotten hooked on Lovely by Sarah Jessica Parker.  It smells so GOOD.  So, I'm wearing it the other day and when my boyfriend hugged me, he pulled away with a smile on his face and exclaimed, "Damn, you smell great!  What is that?!"  I tell him it's by SJP and he chuckles.  "So she finally did something worthwhile, huh?"    I felt like a bombshell.  If it's a choice between a compliment and silence, compliment away.

Genuine compliment followed by snark towards SJP?  That's badass.

Quote:

Originally Posted by mcnooj82 

Genuine compliment followed by snark towards SJP?  That's badass.

 I know.  He's such a boss.

Who knew a foot could smell so good. 

So um yeah, it went well...

<kicks dirt><coy smile>