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Dating Tips/Advice - Page 175

post #8701 of 10018
My housemate said I might feel different in the morning. I dont. Still don't really wanna see her. But now she is texting... What to say...?
post #8702 of 10018
Never mind, it wasn't her. But I still need to figure out an exit strategy. Maybe I can just be friends with her.
post #8703 of 10018

Be polite but be direct. Rip that band off. You think she's a terrific person, but there's not the spark you need, and you don't want to be the kind of person who gives the impression there's hope or desire for something long term and serious.

 

You can try the friend thing, but from what you've described, you run the risk of the opening sequence of events to recur. After a while you'll think, hey, maybe if I just try harder or relax or whatever, things will be better. Then you'll go out, physical chemistry will work, and then you'll be in regretland again.

 

Or not. Dunno.

post #8704 of 10018
"Um, actually, I forgot I'm marred. Good luck."
post #8705 of 10018

Just be honest. If she's really into you, I'd say "Lets just be friends" is probably out. Otherwise maybe suggest you guys have a casual No-Strings-Attached relationship if you're into that idea.

post #8706 of 10018
Or fuck buddies.
post #8707 of 10018
Or Air Buddies.
post #8708 of 10018

a couple of buddy duddies

post #8709 of 10018
So I decided to be completely honest with her about what happened and how I felt.

It didn't go well. At all.

Full report when I get home from work later.
post #8710 of 10018
I love a good story where the moral is, "I probably shouldn't have been honest."
post #8711 of 10018
The highlight was when she said she had a voicemail full of 25 guys wanting to be with her...
post #8712 of 10018
Well, she's going to have a busy week.
post #8713 of 10018
Haha
post #8714 of 10018
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ambler View Post

The highlight was when she said she had a voicemail full of 25 guys wanting to be with her...

This pretty much tells you that you made the right call.
post #8715 of 10018

Yeah, that's the dating equivalent of an 8 year old on a playground declaring they have a force field when playing isn't going their way.

post #8716 of 10018
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ambler View Post

So I met this woman who is 5 years older than me (she is 41 to my 36) ....
[THE REST IS JUST DETAILS, I KNEW HOW THIS STORY WOULD END AFTER THE FIRST SENTENCE]
I guess this could mean I'm some sort of superficial asshole. She is definitely the best dating situation I had since moving to Austin three years ago, but that's not saying terribly much since the others were pretty bad.

 

One of the hardest things to accept about the world of dating and intimacy is that you cannot negotiate attraction.  Period.  No matter how many boxes your cerebral brain may check off, if it isn't there, it isn't there.  

post #8717 of 10018
This is why I insist on dating in total darkness.
post #8718 of 10018
So after never calling her back (its been a week) she just texted me asking if I wanna talk.
post #8719 of 10018
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ambler View Post

So after never calling her back (its been a week) she just texted me asking if I wanna talk.

 

This is your opportunity to tell her you have 20+ other women texting you!

 

Which you shouldn't do, but it's tempting, yes? I advise simply not answering. She's benching you, Ambler. Move on.

post #8720 of 10018
Very tempting...

I wouldn't mind getting laid again.
post #8721 of 10018
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ambler View Post

So after never calling her back (its been a week) she just texted me asking if I wanna talk.

 

I don't see the harm in talking. Just don't let her talk you into anything. Just be that same honest Ambler.  But whatever you do, don't lead her on.

post #8722 of 10018
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ambler View Post

Very tempting...

I wouldn't mind getting laid again.

This is how people end up married!
post #8723 of 10018
Hmmm, still thinking...
post #8724 of 10018
You wanna not hurt a girl if she's into you and you're not feeling it? Have sex with her. If you know SHE wants it it's not like you're using her. And who knows maybe once you're getting into it you DO become more attracted to her.

And if you don't? Just fake being really REALLY bad in bed. No hurt feelings. Everybody wins!
post #8725 of 10018
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ambler View Post

Hmmm, still thinking...

You know what you should do. Lay 'em down and smack 'em yak'em.
post #8726 of 10018

Basically every single question in this thread could be answered with "Always be honest. Oh, that didn't work? Then go home and pleasure yourself."

 

Geez.

post #8727 of 10018
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jacob Singer View Post
 

Basically every single question in this thread could be answered with "Always be honest. Oh, that didn't work? Then go home and pleasure yourself."

 

Geez.

 

Good advice for life too.

post #8728 of 10018
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ambler View Post

Hmmm, still thinking...

If you're honestly going to use her, don't even go.
post #8729 of 10018
Well I called her and it was a bit of a repeat of what happened before. She is confused, hurt, doesn't trust me, blah blah, yet she texted me.
post #8730 of 10018
I guess what I've learned is my hand will never get mad at me for being honest.
post #8731 of 10018
Ignore the white knights. Just do it.
post #8732 of 10018
Even my hand fell asleep on me.

frown.gif

#Foreveralone
post #8733 of 10018
Quote:
Originally Posted by Fraid uh noman View Post

Even my hand fell asleep on me.

frown.gif

#Foreveralone

 

Silly. If your hand falls asleep it's that much easier to pretend it's someone else.

 

These kids today.

post #8734 of 10018
The stranger!
post #8735 of 10018

Ghostriding the whip.

post #8736 of 10018
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ambler View Post

Well I called her and it was a bit of a repeat of what happened before. She is confused, hurt, doesn't trust me, blah blah, yet she texted me.
Let her go. It's better for her and better for you.
post #8737 of 10018
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ambler View Post

Well I called her and it was a bit of a repeat of what happened before. She is confused, hurt, doesn't trust me, blah blah, yet she texted me.

It's called hoovering - look it up. Ditch her. Move one.
post #8738 of 10018
Yeah I knew that's what she was doing. And I was never seriously considering going back I was just curious. At this point I'm out. I'm careful not to get sucked into energy vampires.
post #8739 of 10018
I switched my OKC account back on... and stumbled upon an ex-gf's profile.

"Um, hello... H-how're you?"
post #8740 of 10018

Abort! Abort!

post #8741 of 10018
It wasn't easy getting her out of my system. I ended up telling myself that losing her was always going to hurt. I'd just have to live with it.
post #8742 of 10018
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bradito View Post

I switched my OKC account back on

raw
post #8743 of 10018
She hasn't responded. This site sucks.

#ForeverAlone

:'(
post #8744 of 10018
Oh, fuck! She responded...
post #8745 of 10018
Aaaaannnnnddddd...?
post #8746 of 10018
We have a date on Saturday.
post #8747 of 10018
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bradito View Post

We have a date on Saturday.


[ominous music plays]

Um. Good luck!
post #8748 of 10018
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bradito View Post

We have a date on Saturday.

 

 

Don't talk about your He-Man action figures, Brad.

post #8749 of 10018
I dated this gal for like a year, so she's seen it all.
post #8750 of 10018

ah

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