Supergirl (1984) Discussion

Weird, I'm actually listening to Jerry Goldsmith's overture for this right now.  Which is the only thing associated with this film I'll have in my house.

I'm a fan. Not only would I rank it over Superman III and Superman IV, but I am a fan of both the score and the film's black-magic supernatural mumbo-jumbo. Also, Helen Slater, circa 1984? PRIMO.

 

It also works as canon if you say it happened between Superman II and Superman Returns.

I've passed kidney stones I would rank over Superman III and IV.

I saw this in the theater and haven't seen it since. I remember my 14 year old self liking Helen Slater (agreed with Gabe on this one) but disliking the film itself. I haven't seen it in its entirety since, but I've caught bits and pieces of over the years; those moments have not enticed me to watch the entire film again.

Helen also looked hot in THE LEGEND OF BILLY JEAN. Another bad film, otherwise only notable for the Pat Benatar theme song.

THE LEGEND OF BILLIE JEAN is awesome.

I think all of us men from a certain generation went through an 80's-Helen-Slater phase.  She was hotness personified in Supergirl.  

 

Also, it's impossible to watch the movie now and see the bland, pretty-boy version of Hart Bochner and not think, "Holy shit!  That's Ellis!"

Welp, now you've all somehow convinced me I need to revisit this.

I learned, maybe two years ago, that Garth Ennis' pal, comic artist Steve Dillon (Preacher, Punisher, Hellblazer) did storyboards for this film. Since I haven't seen it in years, that is really the only thing I can now comment on with any sort of clarity. I do remember liking it when I was a kid, but then that was at a time when I was certain that no one would ever make a better movie than Rocky IV.

Update: I rented this last night and am about halfway through. I shut it off after Supergirl saves Ethan from the jaws of the out-of-control backhoe, and he falls in love with her because he's under Selena's spell. I'll subject myself to the rest of it tonight or tomorrow morning. What a slog this movie is.

 

It's also baffling. Why does Supergirl enroll in an all-girl prep school if she's supposed to be finding the Omegahedron in order to save Argo City from imminent destruction? It'd be like Superman signing up for extension courses at the local community college rather than chasing down the two nuclear missiles that Lex Luthor launches at the end of "Superman: The Movie."

 

This flick is for Marc McClure completists only.

 

The version I have is 134 minutes long. Guh.

I watched the rest of it. The second half improves upon the first by -- at the very least -- piling on setpieces one after another. Supergirl fights some invisible beast at a carnival before recusing Ethan from out-of-control bumper cars. This leads to my favorite moment in the movie with Supergirl carrying Ethan inside a bumper car as she flies some great distance for no particular reason. While she's away, Selena uses her magic to invoke some sort of martial law or something in Midvale, and apparently, only in Midvale. It looks like the lamest OWS rally, as Lucy Lane and Jimmy Olsen wave protest signs and are menaced by shock troopers in black helmets. How I'm describing it actually makes it sound better than what you see in the film.

 

Supergirl returns to Midvale and is promptly banished by Selena to the Phantom Zone, which appears to be the Swamp of Sadness set from "The Neverending Story." Once there, she's found by Zoltar. He tells her there's no escaping from the Phantom Zone. None. Nada... Oh, wait, but there is ONE way. Supergirl and Zoltar scale a sheer cliff, trying not to fall into a nearby tornado. Zoltar's not so lucky. But Supergirl manages to escape.

 

Finally, she confronts Selena. Words are exchanged. Floor tiles are rattled. A giant monster tries tearing Supergirl apart, using this weird anamorphic widescreen effect, but is unsuccessful. Supergirl defeats Selena, restores order to Midvale, and then she files back to Argo City with the Omegahedron. The end.

 

Whew. It's a movie jammed with incident, but lacking any sort of clear, coherent story. It's a movie with a plot like any side-scrolling video game from the 8-bit era.

 

I read there's a rumored 150-minute cut. Woof.

You should check out the limited edition two-disc set. It has a director's cut that adds about 15 minutes of footage and really adds to the story. I like that version quite a lot.

 

The BTS stuff is really interesting too.

I watched this a lot as a kid, so I've actually got some fond memories of it, but haven't seen it in at least 15 years. The whole movie has a little bit of a creepier tone than the Superman films from what I can remember. Particularly the carnival stuff, the Phantom Zone, and the whole ending with the monster and cages I remember as being really dark.

 

I'm trying to remember  what I actually like about this movie, but I think for my 5 year old self, the highlight was the half a second they show a picture of Superman.

 

Also, whatever food product the Omegahedron lands in, looked gross to me.

 

I'm actually curious in what they were going for, since the finished product is such a bizarro collision of half-formed ideas.

I got the limited edition off of Amazon and last week it came in the mail. It's a hilarious mess, but it does have it's entertaining aspects. I love how Hart Bochner is basically the damsel in distress. Plus he's a buffoon who talks like how I'd imagine Moose from the Archie comics would talk.

The character is definitely a relic of a bygone era in which blue collar bohunks were sex symbols. Nowadays, every male romantic lead has to make at least six figures to be a blip on a gal's radar.