FRANCHISE ME: JURASSIC PARK

"Is that... auto... auto-erotica?"

Good stuff, Joshua. I love the first movie dearly; it's flawed, but seemingly constructed from breathless excitement. Seeing it as a teen took me right back to my dinosaur-obsessed infant years, and blew me the fuck away. It's probably the last time I was able to convince myself to see past what I knew about filmmaking, and make myself believe it was all real (Ah, who am I kidding? The animatronic work in this film STILL has me believing).

It's not the deepest film in the world, and it's stuffed to the brim with cheese. But this is the last we saw of Spielberg the Entertainer for some time, and this movie just hurtles. I'm tempted to pick this movie up on blu ray, but it's only available in the pack with the other two. Thanks for nothing, Universal.

 Since I grew up on Godzilla movies I thought this flick was awesome when it came out. It was great seeing realistic dinosaurs kick ass!  I loved that the T Rex saved the day at the end.

"Bingo, Dino DNA!!!"

I was (and still am, really) a dino fan as a child since before I can remember and when Jurassic Park arrived in 1993, it was the film I'd been waiting for my entire life at that point.  Utterly fantastic.  Flawed, but still fantastic.  Nothing will ever diminish my love for it.

I can't wait to see what you have to say about the sequels, particularly the second one.  I re-watched the trilogy fairly recently.  The first is still a classic and the third is pretty fun, though extremely flawed.  The more I watch the second though, the more I dislike it.  I pretty much loved it when it came out back in the day (hey, I was in middle school!), but my enjoyment lessens every time I watch it.  There's a lot of good in it, but the flaws outweigh those elements.  Here's hoping the fourth film, when we eventually get it, is a return to form.  There's plenty of storytelling room in this franchise, so I have no objections to it continuing as long as the stories are up to par.

Interesting, SD, since I've come to like LOST WORLD more and more since first seeing it. No doubt it's even more flawed, in its own ways, than the first, but I also think it has more highs and just amazing, amazing scenes. I wish everyone could first see JP in the theater - and one with a huge screen, too. The T-Rex getting loose was jaw-dropping on the big screen with great sound. 

And despite JP's many flaws, the only one that threatens to ruin the fun is mentioned in the article: Grant & the kid being too stupid to simply move around the tree, away from the car. This shit happens all the time in movies, and it's really annoying.

Joshua -  terrific write up. Really looking forward to the next two installments.

I've always said that Jurassic Park was the last of the great old-school blockbusters.  I can't recall any film since then that felt as seismic when it hit.  Titanic made more money, but that was more of a long, slow burn.  The Dark Knight comes pretty close, but there's a distance to it that doesn't make it as embraceable as Jurassic Park.  People were absolutely batshit crazy about this movie.  They couldn't wait for it to open, they couldn't wait to see it again.  It's really the last time I can remember having the same feeling I did in the summer of 1977.

And it was really pretty desperately needed by Spielberg.  After Temple of Doom, he'd been on kind of a rough streak.  The treacly "Kick the Can" in the Twilight Zone movie.  The gigantic Oscar snub of The Color Purple.  The financial failures of Empire of the Sun and Always.  The all-around disaster that was Hook.  Aside from the lazy lob of a pitch that was Last Crusade, Spielberg was in a pretty big rut before Jurassic Park.  And you can feel that energy here.  It was almost as if he was simultaneously reminding everyone he could still make these kinds of films, but also realizing he was never going to capture 1975 to 1982 again.  In essence, he stopped trying so hard, and found his home run swing again.

Fantastic write up Joshua, can't wait until you dissect parts II and III.

The biggest problem I have with JURASSIC PARK is the kids. I get it - it's Spielberg (daddy issues and all that), and you kinda want some young'uns there for the child audience... except, do you? Sam Neil's awe when he first sees the Brachiosaurus has more innocent wonder than anything Tim or Lex did.

Whatever, it's probably just me. And at least they weren't as frustrating as Goldblum's daughter in LOST WORLD

"It's a UNIX system! I know this!"

Well, the kids are in the book, albeit with the roles reversed, so I can't entirely blame Spielberg for that.

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Originally Posted by Paul Allen 

Whatever, it's probably just me. And at least they weren't as frustrating as Goldblum's daughter in LOST WORLD

 

Yeah, the gymnastics-defeats-raptors part is so very, very awful. In a film already asking us to suspend a hell of a lot of disbelief, that snaps it.

Conversely, the daughter character provides one of my favorite father-daughter exchanges from film:

Sarah Harding: You know, I have made a career out of waiting for you.

Kelly Malcom: You know, Sarah does have a pretty good p-

Ian Malcom: It's so important to you future that you do not finish that sentence.

Loved this one, and glad to see that the velociraptor overhype got mentioned; I guess its just that the name "velociraptor" has more marketing power than Utahraptor, i guess.

Also, i still find hilarious that the fat kid ended up being right about it looking like a big "turkey"; feathered dinosaurs has to be one of the most dissapointing discoveries ever.

And that point's debatable. Some scientists think T Rex was a scavenger, due to its amazing vulture-like sense of smell.

I say "Hold onto your butts..." when driving with the family. All the time. Usually during a sharp curve or speed bump in the road.

As a dino-nut, I loved this flick. Whatta ride. Deserves a more prolific franchise. Waiting for just the right time to show it to my daughter. May be too scary at 7, but it's time for a watch soon.

After JP Franchise-Me, do CARNOSAUR! ;)

Quote:

Originally Posted by DARKMITE8 

And that point's debatable. Some scientists think T Rex was a scavenger, due to its amazing vulture-like sense of smell.

Well, that explains why that lawyer had no chance at all of not getting chomped; guess they did their homework there.

There is a school of thought that if dinosaurs where warm blooded, then T Rex wpuld have the speed to run down his prey. Fossils of his foot prints seem to back this view up. Personally, I just want to believe that T Rex was a predator.

It is EXTREMELY weird that we haven't had something like three more of these films. If they continue, I hope it's a straight sequel and none of that stupid "reboot" crap.

It's a limited franchise because there aren't that many reasons to keep going back to the island(s) and getting in trouble with dinos.  You could clone them in a populated area, but given what happened in the first three movies that's just dumb.

They really should have followed the Apes model.  First we go there.  Then they come here.  Then we fight to see who runs the place.

Talking dinosaurs.

I like it!

Well, I don't necessarily mean an exact correlation to the Apes films, although you could pretty easily morph the franchise into a stealth adaptation of Harry Harrison's West of Eden.

I just mean you could do a fourth film where somehow the dinos get to the mainland, and craft it as a survival horror sort of film, with the residents of a small town trying to deal with this dinosaur infestation.  Then you end with the threat of a bigger outbreak, and the fifth film is full on Dino Crisis.  Think Alien/Aliens or Night/Dawn.  Dinosaur apocalypse.

It's heavily straining credulity that escaped dinosaurs from the two islands could grow quickly enough in population to present an actual threat to the country/world at large.

I'd imagine that at worst you'd get the equivalent of a new giant predator species, like if there was a new bear or something.  Sure you might have to worry about T-rexes, but they're so big that handling them when prepared shouldn't be that big of an issue from a society standpoint.

Of course, once raptors find out how to fire guns, then we're screwed.

Hey, who's talking credulity?  We're firmly in B-movie territory here.

Genetically engineered velociraptors as super soldiers with cybernetically implanted gatling guns.  Let loose a pack of them in Afghanistan and they'll be done by St. Patrick's Day.

That's the future of this franchise.

"Jurassic Park is now ... JURASSIC PACK!"

I don't think the franchise will have reached its true potential until we get a talking velociraptor leader along the lines of the head gremlin in Gremlins 2.  I mean exactly like him.  Same voice actor and everything.

I think the genetically engineered kangaroos known as the Rippers fronted by Ice-T from TANK GIRL is where the franchise should be looking for direction.

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Originally Posted by neoolong 

It's a limited franchise because there aren't that many reasons to keep going back to the island(s) and getting in trouble with dinos.  You could clone them in a populated area, but given what happened in the first three movies that's just dumb.

There's plenty you could do besides go back to the same island/s.

Friggin laser beams for one.

Hell, set it in the future. Call it JURASSIC PLANET. I don't care. Just give me silver-screen dinos.

And I won't rest until someone adapts the DINOSAURS ATTACK! card series (obviously not Spielberg in the JP series). Don't care if I sound like a broken record.

Maybe they should just adapt Dinoriders into a movie.  Hell, it'd make more sense than Transformers IV.

No one's jonesing for a bigscreen Terra Nova, then?

(is that show even still on?)

I think they're still considering whether it should be renewed.

Another great article, Josh. This column is easily the best part about CHUD nowadays. Keep up the great work.

Can't wait to read about parts 2 and 3.

Up next? Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.

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Originally Posted by neoolong 

Maybe they should just adapt Dinoriders into a movie.  Hell, it'd make more sense than Transformers IV.

I would so watch this. Only because our hero would shoot the box off the T-Rex, and then the T-rex will swing around and eat our villian.

I think the point of Malcolm and his chaos theory was that complex systems like, say, an island-bound theme park featuring massive, ravenous prehistoric animals that have been extinct for millions of years, are inherently unstable and are therefore bound to collapse eventually. The rogue factor that is Nedry is just what tips it over the edge - the system's decline actually set in the moment it was conveyed.

Granted, this was handled a lot better in the book, where it was one of the story's more interesting aspect. In the film, these notions have been all but replaced by the "dinosaurs are supposed to be extinct, mmmkay?"-posturing and Jeff Goldblum taking a break from chewing scenery just long enough to explain to Laura Dern what chaos theory is by running drops of water down her hand while panting.

Not to say that this a bad thing, as it's precisely this schlock-over-substance approach that makes JP so great, as Joshua Miller quite brilliantly points out in his column. Great write-up, great franchise choice. I love me some Jurassic coverage.

Malcom's point is overstated though, since a lot of the initial causes, even in the book, are things that could have been caught if they had been more careful in designing the park.  The fences go down/stay down after the reboot because they never ran through a full system shut-down and reboot and forgot that the main generators don't kick back on.  Having more redundancy so Nedry isn't able to single-handedly screw over the system.

Yes, animals escape from parks, and yes, people have died, but zoos aren't exactly destined for failure because of chaos theory and complex systems.  Even ones with dinosaurs.  It may be more difficult and more dangerous, but it's still a zoo.

Edit: A lot of problems would have been solved if they decided not to clone raptors.  Hell, they weren't one of the most famous dinosaurs anyway, so it's not like you'd be disappointing people by not having them there.  T-rex, stegosauraus, brontosaurus, triceratops.  Those are probably the main ones people even know and would be disappointed if they couldn't see them.

Quote:

Originally Posted by neoolong 

Malcom's point is overstated though, since a lot of the initial causes, even in the book, are things that could have been caught if they had been more careful in designing the park.  The fences go down/stay down after the reboot because they never ran through a full system shut-down and reboot and forgot that the main generators don't kick back on.  Having more redundancy so Nedry isn't able to single-handedly screw over the system.

 

Yes, animals escape from parks, and yes, people have died, but zoos aren't exactly destined for failure because of chaos theory and complex systems.  Even ones with dinosaurs.  It may be more difficult and more dangerous, but it's still a zoo.

 

Edit: A lot of problems would have been solved if they decided not to clone raptors.  Hell, they weren't one of the most famous dinosaurs anyway, so it's not like you'd be disappointing people by not having them there.  T-rex, stegosauraus, brontosaurus, triceratops.  Those are probably the main ones people even know and would be disappointed if they couldn't see them.

I don't know that it's overstated, the book makes a big point of the notion that no matter what you do, or how many contingencies you put in, things are going down the shitter eventually. In fact, the more you do, the worse it gets because the more factors you add the more complex things get and the bigger the chance of them eventually spinning out of control. It's about the illusion of control, and Malcolm (aka Crichton) is preachy as all hell about it, but I don't think he's wrong.

A common zoo isn't any different in essence, it's just a lot less complex and also its inhabitants usually don't eat Ford Explorers for lunch. The crux is the "more difficult, more dangerous" thing.

The raptor thing is true but even if they hadn't bred raptors, the Stegosaurs would've gotten out, no doubt. And you don't want a pack of them stalking you through a kitchen, I can tell ya.

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Originally Posted by beat 

I don't know that it's overstated, the book makes a big point of the notion that no matter what you do, or how many contingencies you put in, things are going down the shitter eventually. In fact, the more you do, the worse it gets because the more factors you add the more complex things get and the bigger the chance of them eventually spinning out of control. It's about the illusion of control, and Malcolm (aka Crichton) is preachy as all hell about it, but I don't think he's wrong.

A common zoo isn't any different in essence, it's just a lot less complex and also its inhabitants usually don't eat Ford Explorers for lunch. The crux is the "more difficult, more dangerous" thing.

It's not really about adding complexity, but that they really should have put more thought into designing the park.  I believe it's mentioned that like half of the precautions they put into place were useless because the actual characteristics of the dinosaurs ended up not being as anticipated.  Tranqs didn't work, and the only way to really kill dinos was with rocket launchers which they only had a few of.  They rushed the park into test mode when they shouldn't have.  The book even mentions that there were additions that were still being made that weren't in the original blueprints.

Basically, I think that it would have generally worked if they hadn't kludged together a control system in order to get ready as fast as possible instead of taking the time to do it right.

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Originally Posted by neoolong 

Basically, I think that it would have generally worked if they hadn't kludged together a control system in order to get ready as fast as possible instead of taking the time to do it right.

How would a perfectly working park where nothing goes wrong make for an interesting movie?

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Originally Posted by The Rain Dog 

How would a perfectly working park where nothing goes wrong make for an interesting movie?

I'm not saying that it should have been a perfectly working park in the movie, simply that Malcolm's point isn't necessarily true.
 

Quote:

Originally Posted by neoolong 

It's heavily straining credulity that escaped dinosaurs from the two islands could grow quickly enough in population to present an actual threat to the country/world at large.

 

I'd imagine that at worst you'd get the equivalent of a new giant predator species, like if there was a new bear or something.  Sure you might have to worry about T-rexes, but they're so big that handling them when prepared shouldn't be that big of an issue from a society standpoint.

 

Of course, once raptors find out how to fire guns, then we're screwed.

...unless the Dinos had been breeding for a long time with no one the wiser. No real competition, lots of foods, unlimited space to breed in. Which is what begins to happen in the novel. Can't remember if they succeed in tracking those rogue Raptors down though.

They escaped into Central/South America and were pillaging fields for lysine-enriched foods.

There wasn't a mention of escaped dinos on the mainland in the movies though.  Well, other than the T-Rex.

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Originally Posted by neoolong 

Genetically engineered velociraptors as super soldiers with cybernetically implanted gatling guns.  Let loose a pack of them in Afghanistan and they'll be done by St. Patrick's Day.

 

That's the future of this franchise.

     Quote:

Originally Posted by Schwartz 

I don't think the franchise will have reached its true potential until we get a talking velociraptor leader along the lines of the head gremlin in Gremlins 2.  I mean exactly like him.  Same voice actor and everything.

You guys have basically just hit upon the direction that John Sayles was taking his script for Jurassic Park 4 before it got put on the back burner.  Man, what I wouldn't do to read that thing.

Great write up, Josh!

If there's any franchise that should crossover with another, it should be Jurassic Park and just about anything else.

"Machete" comes to mind.

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Originally Posted by Mr. Stockslivevan 

This is what I would love to see as the next Dino flick.

majestic :)

Speaking of dinosaurs, they only way I'll go see another Transformers movie is if the Dinobots are in it.

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Originally Posted by Paul Allen 

 

"It's a UNIX system! I know this!"

God this bugged me so much at the time.  At leats the book had actual UNIX.  I remember reading the book, being blown away, then seeing the trailers for the movie with the melodic John Williams score and thinking "urgh, he's made it all kiddie friendly".  Then sitting in the cinema and the first thing being that big bass note and once again being blown away.

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Originally Posted by Mr. Stockslivevan 

This is what I would love to see as the next Dino flick.

That guy had better have three hands in the actual movie!!!

Quote:

Originally Posted by Andy Bain 

God this bugged me so much at the time.  At leats the book had actual UNIX.  I remember reading the book, being blown away, then seeing the trailers for the movie with the melodic John Williams score and thinking "urgh, he's made it all kiddie friendly".  Then sitting in the cinema and the first thing being that big bass note and once again being blown away.

Technically that was a Unix GUI, or an IRIX Gui, or something.

No mention of Dinosaucers? That was my jam.

I think for the Lost World write-up, any collection of high points will prove to be woefully incomplete without a forefront mention of Pete Postlewaite. He's the man in that movie, and one of the few bright spots (the other main thing I enjoy being the scene where all the asshole mercenaries are hunting down dinosaurs in dune buggies). One beat that I was curious about in rewatching Lost World (blu raaaay) is at the very end of the island arc, when Postlewaithe mentions that his friend didn't make it. I doubt his character was written or directed as such, but the way the actor delivered it made me suspect that maybe he believed his character was gay. Which would be a nice bit of layering in a movie that sadly lacks any depth. Some people are saying they don't buy the whole 'complexity' angle in JP, but it was at least consistent throughout the film. Lost World isn't really saying anything much at all, other than "OoOooOOooo Dinosaurs!" 

Actually, that's fine with me as well, but some of the shit just doesn't make sense. For example, when the cargo ship crashes at the beginning of the San Diego scene: the T-Rex and baby Rex are logically trapped down in the hold. So who the fuck came up and ate the shit out of the dude at the helm?

Ah, back when Silicon Graphics Inc was poised to be the next big thing.

I remember seeing this in a theater that used strobe lights and some other lame sensearound-type effects.   I even called up Amblin and talked to associate producer Lata Ryan about buying one of the Explorers or a Jeep, but those that hadn't been destroyed in production were already assigned to museums.

The best thing about Lost World is the fantastic score.