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MICHAEL BAY’S TRANS4MERS

post #1 of 62
Thread Starter 
by Renn Brown: link

Yep, the TRANSFORMERS 4-Film SAGA Coming To Blu-ray And Retinal Download 2015
post #2 of 62

Please just bring the rumours to fruition and cast Jason Statham. In fact, let's cast Statham as Chev Chelios and give us the TF/Crank crossover we all need. I want Chelios recharging his cyber-heart off Optimus Prime's nipple-nuts, while calling him a massive homo cunt and punching through Megatron's robo-taint. John Turturro can just stand around, be twitchy and collect his pay check.
 


Edited by Workyticket - 2/13/12 at 5:46pm
post #3 of 62

I demand Unicron, the Junkions, and the Headmasters for this chapter.

post #4 of 62
Quote:
Originally Posted by Workyticket View Post

Please just bring the rumours to fruition and cast Jason Statham. In fact, let's cast Statham as Chev Chelios and give us the TF/Crank crossover we all need. I want Chelios recharging his cyber-heart off Optimus Prime's nipple-nuts, while calling him a massive homo cunt and punching through Megatron's robo-taint. 
 


This works for me.

 

All I can think of now about these films is the review that said "also, now the keys are exploding".

 

post #5 of 62
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bradito View Post

I demand Unicron, the Junkions, and the Headmasters for this chapter.


I don't want a Michael Bay movie to ever contain the word "Headmaster".

 

Wait, or maybe I do...

 

post #6 of 62

Renn Brown, It is...Awesome to hear, Michael Bay returning to direct a new film in the most...TRANSFORMative Saga of the...21st century,  I suppose, the film will get a...July 4th release for...Trans4mers: 4 Ever!  Maybe...Katy Perry could sing the title song, as...Arcee the Pink Autobot...Motorcycle!

post #7 of 62

 

Quote:
definitely feel like Michael Bay is a visual artist that I would rather have working than not. 

 

See this is the kind of description I personally would give to a guy like Matthew Barney rather than Bay.

 

Not trying to be snarky, I'm honestly interested Renn, what is it about Bays output that makes him someone whose art is worth enough that you'd rather it be out there, sucking up attention, creative energies and marketing dollars, than someone else who may actually qualify for the term 'artist'?

 

I guess what I'm saying is: Renn I respect your opinion and am interested to see what you're seeing and I'm obviously missing.

post #8 of 62

Michael Bay is the world's greatest commercial director, but he's stuck making movies instead, because that's where the money is, and because, apparently, that's where he's found an audience so completely uncaring about narrative, nuance or humanity. He's not a director; he's a pusher.

 

Glad he's testing himself with this Pain and Gain thing, but good lord, no more fucking Transformers.

post #9 of 62

If any film franchise has ever warranted an 'Amazing Spider-Man' style re-boot, it's Transformers. Throw out everything from the main trilogy, keep Spielberg around as executive producer, and bring in Brad Bird (much as I'd like him to knock out a couple more animated features before doing live action again) or Neil Blomkamp or anybody other than Bay and let them run wild on it.

 

ETA: I bet Duncan Jones could do a pretty great Transformers, too. And I think he's enough of a geek that he'd take the gig.

post #10 of 62
Quote:
Originally Posted by Fafhrd View Post

If any film franchise has ever warranted an 'Amazing Spider-Man' style re-boot, it's Transformers. Throw out everything from the main trilogy, keep Spielberg around as executive producer, and bring in Brad Bird (much as I'd like him to knock out a couple more animated features before doing live action again) or Neil Blomkamp or anybody other than Bay and let them run wild on it.

ETA: I bet Duncan Jones could do a pretty great Transformers, too. And I think he's enough of a geek that he'd take the gig.

Goddamn it. No to EVERYTHING here.
post #11 of 62
Quote:
Originally Posted by The Rain Dog View Post

 

 

See this is the kind of description I personally would give to a guy like Matthew Barney rather than Bay.

 

Not trying to be snarky, I'm honestly interested Renn, what is it about Bays output that makes him someone whose art is worth enough that you'd rather it be out there, sucking up attention, creative energies and marketing dollars, than someone else who may actually qualify for the term 'artist'?

 

I guess what I'm saying is: Renn I respect your opinion and am interested to see what you're seeing and I'm obviously missing.



I agree with Renn. I fully believe Bay has the ethics of a tapeworm, the nuance of the Czar Bomba and the artistic sensibilities of Savonarola but he shoots well. Really really well. He would have been one of the best DPs or second unit directors ever.

 

post #12 of 62

I guess it's just me, because I've never been particularly impressed with Bay's gimmicky camerawork despite the chorus that "Well, he can't direct two human beings for shit, but his stuff looks good right?".  No, Bay's cinematography is absolutely unremarkable and is eclipsed by any two random up-and-comers you can name off of the top of your head, easily.

 

I suppose the contention that he would have been a good commercial director is somewhat well-founded - a lot of his shots have an annoyingly glossy, slick look to them.  Everything he does with the military looks in particular like it's from the one of the US ARMY recruiting campaigns, saturated backgrounds and all.

 

He does scope pretty well, I suppose.  But none of Bay's shots have ever drawn any lasting emotional response out of me.  It's all "PWEEETTTY PICTURE" and nothing to genuinely be in awe of, or appreciate on any deeper artistic level.  Good photography has to have several layers and can't simply be all surface level.

 

But hey, more directors than Bay get a free pass because apparently their stuff "looks good".  Too bad he fumbles more often than not when he actually has to move the camera - some good shots where he actually shows geographic understanding aside, it's hard to appreciate how Bay over-does everything.  Two characters can't just kiss, THE CAMERA ROTATES AROUND THEM.  A building can't just explode in a moment of stark, terrifying reality, IT HAS TO BE THE BIGGEST FUCKING SHOT YOU'VE EVER SEEN.

 

It gets tiring.  At some point scale mattered less to me and I just can't be impressed by it anymore.

 

 

post #13 of 62

No one's giving Bay a free pass. After TF 2 I made a decision to never spend another cent on one of his movies and I fully intend to honor it unless emphatically persuaded otherwise. But I will not go around claiming his stuff is visually unremarkable.

post #14 of 62

Dropping LaBeouf and the supporting characters around him (parents, girlfriend, dog, etc.) is an absolute MUST.  Keep the military characters if you wish and go balls out with a reboot.  I kinda like the first Transformers.  The second is deep-fried dogshit.  The third was boring from a narrative standpoint, but the set pieces were absolutely fantastic.  This series is still salvageable at this point.

post #15 of 62
I like how he favours real world setpieces over green screen. The chicago set pieces in TF3 are amazing. At least on the big screen. Everything else was unfunny, extremely tedious or offensively exploitive. (The Space Shuttle crap).

When he has a witty script (i.e. when he doesn't write it) and good actors (BAD BOYS 1 & 2, THE ROCK) he's ok.
post #16 of 62
Seriously, the callback to the Challenger disaster in TF3 was sickening. I don't know why Spielberg agreed to it.
post #17 of 62

Granted I was young when the Challenger disaster happened, but how was that a callback? Simply because a shuttle blew up in the atmosphere?

post #18 of 62
The TF3 explosion looked very similar to the Challenger disaster. And it was clear he was exploiting our memory of it to create a horrible image.
post #19 of 62

As I said, the man has the ethics of a tapeworm.

post #20 of 62

Christ, can we get somebody else to direct one of these?  I like Bay, but four god damn movies in a row???  I want to see how somebody like Neil Blomkamp would tackle this.  Or Alfonso Cuaron.  Hell, I'd take Justin Lin at this point, I'm sick of Bay driving the car on this franchise, because I know it has more potential than he's capable of delivering.  If Bay truly wanted to bring something fresh to the table like Di Bonaventura says, he'd step aside and let someone else direct with him producing.  

 

I'm not seeing anymore of these films with Bay at the helm.  Enough already.

post #21 of 62

You know what? i say the plot and action should be moved away from Earth; I dunno, set up the plot as humans finding and using Transformer technology to build a space bridge (thats what teleporting is called in TF lore, right?), and have a military unit end up in Cybertron during the actual war for the planet.

Humans team up with autobots, Unicron appears as all hell breaks loose, both autobots and decepticons race to use the space bridge to escape to earth and close it before Unicron makes it through.

Just mix Transformers with Stargate, is what im saying.

post #22 of 62

Dear god, haven't we all suffered enough already?

 

Someone should remake The Terminator except instead of a super computer sending a nigh-on unstoppable cyborg assassin back through time to kill a mousy waitress, it should be a disgruntled lover of fine cinema sending a thousand nigh-on unstoppable cyborg assassins back through time to prevent Michael Bay from ever being born.

post #23 of 62

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sentinel Red View Post

Dear god, haven't we all suffered enough already?

 

Someone should remake The Terminator except instead of a super computer sending a nigh-on unstoppable cyborg assassin back through time to kill a mousy waitress, it should be a disgruntled lover of fine cinema sending a thousand nigh-on unstoppable cyborg assassins back through time to prevent Michael Bay from ever being born.


Whoa, whoa, lets not get carried away here; "The Rock" deserves to exist, and there's plenty of "Bad Boys 2" apologists here, plus, your plan could create an alternate timeline where James "torque" Khan ends up directing Transformers.

And a couple of those cyborg assassins should be programmed to terminate Stephanie Meyer and the executives that cancelled Arrested Development.

 

post #24 of 62
Quote:
Originally Posted by ryoken View Post

...plus, your plan could create an alternate timeline where James "torque" Khan ends up directing Transformers.

 


And this is bad? How?

 

 

post #25 of 62

Quote:

Originally Posted by Gabe T View Post

Glad he's testing himself with this Pain and Gain thing, but good lord, no more fucking Transformers.


I don't know.  I kind of agree, but the prospect of a Michael Bay black comedy is much more frightening to me than another boring Transformers movie.  

post #26 of 62

Ryoken, Transformers and...Stargate?  The...Titanic Team-up of...Toy Film Franchises would be...Transformers & G.I. Joe!...

 

Transformers

Optimus Prime (voiced by...Peter Cullen!)

Bumblebee (Voiced by...Dennis Haysbert)

Arcee (voiced by Katy Perry)

Megatron (Voiced by Michael Ironside

Star Scream (Voiced by Anthony Edwards

G.I. Joe

Snake Eyes-Ray Park

Scarlett-Rachel Nichols

Storm Shadow- Lee Byung-Hun

Stalker-Wesley Snipes

Roadblock- Dwayne "The Rock' Johnson

Jet Fire-(Voiced by...Tom Cruise)

Humans unaffiliated G.I. Joe

Dr. Stanley Goodspeed-Nic Cage

VS

UNICRON- (Voiced by either...James Cameron or Michael Bay!)

post #27 of 62

I think it's important that the Transformers franchise continues to exist, and take up Bay's time...

 

That way he's not screwing up anything else.

 

Aside: I wonder how many extras will be severely injured this time, and have Paramount deny all liability.

post #28 of 62

Being snarky about people who actively dislike these films seems kind of dickish, Renn. I get being interested in Bay's style, but I've seen all three TRANSFORMERS movies as well as the rest of his oeuvre. It's not sight-unseen for me, and the franchise is absolutely everything wrong with Hollywood today, with Bay being a sizeable part of the problem. For some, all the visual style in the world isn't a worthy trade-off for morally dubious plot-free soulless junk cluttering up the cinema every coupla years.

post #29 of 62

I'd also like to see Dinobots. How can we be three movies deep into the franchise and nary a Dinobot has appeared?

post #30 of 62
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bradito View Post

I'd also like to see Dinobots. How can we be three movies deep into the franchise and nary a Dinobot has appeared?


I guess Bay finds the idea of a robot that transforms into a dinosaur "unrealistic and too over the top"?

 

post #31 of 62

They had the thing Shockwave was riding on that didn't seem to transform into anything at all.  Hell, with Chicago getting tentacled, the whole world knows about alien robots.  Might as well just transform into something cool rather than a disguise.

post #32 of 62
Quote:
Originally Posted by stelios View Post



 He would have been one of the best DPs or second unit directors ever.

 


 

Maybe, but he's not Stel, he's a big budget film director given the GDP of some small countries every couple of years to churn out supposed family entertainment (this film franchise qualifies as such in this surreal modern world doesn't it?).

 

Maybe as a brain surgeon he may have made a fantastic plumber - that doesn't mean I'd want him tinkering around in my skull.

post #33 of 62
Quote:
Originally Posted by duke fleed View Post

Ryoken, Transformers and...Stargate?  The...Titanic Team-up of...Toy Film Franchises would be...Transformers & G.I. Joe!...

 

Transformers

Optimus Prime (voiced by...Peter Cullen!)

Bumblebee (Voiced by...Dennis Haysbert)

Arcee (voiced by Katy Perry)

Megatron (Voiced by Michael Ironside

Star Scream (Voiced by Anthony Edwards

G.I. Joe

Snake Eyes-Ray Park

Scarlett-Rachel Nichols

Storm Shadow- Lee Byung-Hun

Stalker-Wesley Snipes

Roadblock- Dwayne "The Rock' Johnson

Jet Fire-(Voiced by...Tom Cruise)

Humans unaffiliated G.I. Joe

Dr. Stanley Goodspeed-Nic Cage

VS

UNICRON- (Voiced by either...James Cameron or Michael Bay!)


No Frank Welker, no dice fleed. Let's just make that perfectly clear right now before you go any further. 

post #34 of 62

Shan, No argument about...Frank Welker.  I only read the...Marvel Comics Transformers.  I didn't see...Transformers The Animated Movie, til just before Michael Bay's Transformers was released.  I am a far bigger fan of...Go Nagai's Ufo Robo Grendizer and other...Piloted Super Robot Anime!  Grendizer...GOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!

post #35 of 62
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bradito View Post

I'd also like to see Dinobots. How can we be three movies deep into the franchise and nary a Dinobot has appeared?



And if anyone has the taste and delicacy to handle the depiction of special-needs robots, it's obviously Bay.

post #36 of 62

I don't know why you guys want anyone else wasting their time on Transformers.

Was kind of hoping the success of these movies would lead to more fighting robot movies, but no such luck yet(I don't count Real Steel, although it the very definition of a "fighting robot movie").

post #37 of 62

I don't even know why I know this, but in the viral campaign for the first movie there were hidden videos in the Transformers website. One of them showed Grimlock.

 

Here it is
http://jalopnik.com/261435/transformers-movie-update-sector-seven-video-gives-nod-to-dinobots-insecticons-lazerbeak-and-generation-one-bumblebee

post #38 of 62

Quote:

Originally Posted by Nexus-7 View Post

I don't know why you guys want anyone else wasting their time on Transformers.

Was kind of hoping the success of these movies would lead to more fighting robot movies, but no such luck yet(I don't count Real Steel, although it the very definition of a "fighting robot movie").


Personally,I was hoping it'd lead to a reboot of ROBOT JOX.

post #39 of 62

 

Quote:
Originally Posted by Chris Myers View Post

I don't even know why I know this, but in the viral campaign for the first movie there were hidden videos in the Transformers website. One of them showed Grimlock.

 

Here it is
http://jalopnik.com/261435/transformers-movie-update-sector-seven-video-gives-nod-to-dinobots-insecticons-lazerbeak-and-generation-one-bumblebee


And I want to see a plague of Insecticons. How could I forget to add Insecticons to my list of demands?

 

post #40 of 62


 

Quote:
Originally Posted by Bradito View Post

 


And I want to see a plague of Insecticons. How could I forget to add Insecticons to my list of demands?

 



Sadly, there were insecticons in the second one.

 

I hate this franchise with the fire of a thousand suns, and yet some of the toys from the second movie were really entertaining.  

post #41 of 62

All I remember of the second movie is that Devastator had balls. Not sure if I want to remember anything else.

post #42 of 62

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bradito View Post

All I remember of the second movie is that Devastator had balls. Not sure if I want to remember anything else.


You're forgetting Turturro's butt.

 

post #43 of 62
Quote:
Originally Posted by neoolong View Post

Quote:


Personally,I was hoping it'd lead to a reboot of ROBOT JOX.


That's a remake I can get behind 100%.

200% if it marks Paul Verhoeven's return to Hollywood.

 

post #44 of 62

I'd hope they keep the illiterate pilot who needs to have pictures on the controls so he knows which button does what.

post #45 of 62

I kind of like the first movie. Not sure why making Optimus Prime a brutal killer seemed like a good direction for the series. That and the constant military fetishism is really disturbing. If this has to happen Unicron should be in it. 

 

At least we'll get another great Steve Jablonsky score from a fourth movie.

post #46 of 62

Sharkticons.

post #47 of 62

Untitled, Well, Optimus was the...Prime, choice for Badass Autobot!  He is their...Leader, and he doesn't back away from being the field commander, instead of being Stuck in a...Garage!

post #48 of 62
Quote:
Originally Posted by JacknifeJohnny View Post


Goddamn it. No to EVERYTHING here.


What? If these movies have to continue to be made, and they continue to take $400 million opening weekends, would it not be better for them to be, y'know, good? And for talented filmmakers that we like, like Jones or Blomkamp to get the money and the cachet with the studios which can then be used for their own projects, instead of continuing to heap millions on hacks like Bay?

post #49 of 62

I wouldn't want to see Jones or Blomkamp waste a couple years on one of these, I'd rather see them putting their talents to use on pretty much ANYTHING else, and I actually like these movies to some extent. If Bay passes on the 5th one give it to Simon West or get Renny Harlin out of director jail instead.

post #50 of 62

Working on a tentpole THIS big while having to answer to a company like Hasbro?  Filmmakers we respect would have to put up with compromise after compromise even IF they wanted to play ball with the big toys.  They're creatively much better off working within difficult limitations, as mean as that might sound.  They've already got their feet in the door anyway.

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