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SCHWARTZBLOG: The Very Worst Named Blog

post #1 of 23
2/14/12 at 9:30am
Thread Starter 

http://www.chud.com/83415/schwartzblog-hungry-hungry-hippos-saves-hollywood/

 

In which I get whacked out on cold medicine and mount a semi-serious defense of the creative vitality of board game movies.

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post #2 of 23
2/27/12 at 9:48am
Thread Starter 

http://www.chud.com/84802/schwartzblog-tell-me-the-truth-when-you-lie-to-me/

 

In which I call for a moratorium on some of my favorite endings of all time.

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post #3 of 23
3/14/12 at 7:54pm
Thread Starter 

3 Mass Effect Fans On Mass Effect 3, pt. 1

 

In which I bring in some ringers to geek out at length.

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post #4 of 23
3/19/12 at 11:06pm
Thread Starter 

part two

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post #5 of 23
3/29/12 at 7:37pm
Thread Starter 

Mass Effect, part three

 

Mass Effect, part four


Edited by Schwartz - 3/29/12 at 9:13pm
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post #6 of 23
5/10/12 at 11:29am
Thread Starter 

http://www.chud.com/92828/schwartzblog-the-avengers-greatest-hero-is-its-script/

 

In which I examine the writing of the multi-taskingest blockbuster of all time.

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post #7 of 23
5/10/12 at 4:23pm
Thread Starter 

http://www.chud.com/92913/schwartzblog-the-avengers-greatest-hero-is-its-script-part-2/

 

part two

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post #8 of 23
5/10/12 at 5:46pm

I like your style Schwartz, I like it a lot, but in the tradition of nitpicking is "The guy was handed THE most well established superhero property in the world ..." really the case?

 

Amongst comic book peeps maybe, but for the rest of us the likes of The Bat, The Spider, Supes and the X-Team seem far better established. I had no idea about any of the Avengers characters apart from Hulk until they started making these films.

 

Or did I just misunderstand the heck out of your point?

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post #9 of 23
5/10/12 at 5:52pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bucho View Post

I like your style Schwartz, I like it a lot, but in the tradition of nitpicking is "The guy was handed THE most well established superhero property in the world ..." really the case?

 

Amongst comic book peeps maybe, but for the rest of us the likes of The Bat, The Spider, Supes and the X-Team seem far better established. I had no idea about any of the Avengers characters apart from Hulk until they started making these films.

 

Or did I just misunderstand the heck out of your point?

 

I can't speak for Schwartz, because he has removed his hand from my ass. But I think he means that this film had five other films setting it up.

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post #10 of 23
5/10/12 at 7:01pm
Thread Starter 

I actually thought about whether Batman was actually the best established superhero, but when someone reboots Batman they kind of have to start from scratch and redo the origin and lay out their own take.  The Avengers is sort of the first in its own series, and sort of the 5th entry in a franchise, and although there were 1,000,001 ways to fuck it up, it was a pre-packaged phenomenon in a way that no other movie I can think of has been.  People were not necessarily going to love it, but asses were going to be in seats regardless, is the point I was trying to make.

 

But also, I was basically setting up a flimsy strawman so I'd have an easy spot to launch into my own argument.  That guy doesn't have to make a ton of sense, because he's an asshole and I made him and I CAN UNMAKE HIM.

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post #11 of 23
5/10/12 at 7:04pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by MikeI View Post

I can't speak for Schwartz, because he has removed his hand from my ass. But I think he means that this film had five other films setting it up.

 

 

Yeah, must be. I think the sentence structure threw me but it's the only way it makes sense.

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post #12 of 23
5/10/12 at 8:34pm
Thread Starter 

By the way, thanks for reading and commenting gents.  I generally have no idea if anyone actually reads any of this stuff, but it's nice to that at least one sentence structure nazi* did, BUCHO.

 

*the absolute worst kind of nazi.  Yes, even worse than "AD&D 3rd Edition Rule-nazi" and "Ironically Unaware Of Own Jewish Ancestry-nazi".  Much worse.

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post #13 of 23
5/10/12 at 9:55pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Schwartz View Post

By the way, thanks for reading and commenting gents.  I generally have no idea if anyone actually reads any of this stuff, but it's nice to that at least one sentence structure nazi* did, BUCHO.

 

*the absolute worst kind of nazi.  Yes, even worse than "AD&D 3rd Edition Rule-nazi" and "Ironically Unaware Of Own Jewish Ancestry-nazi".  Much worse.

 

 

I'm less of a sentence structure nazi than just a run-of-the-mill dope with cack reading comprehension.

 

Plus, it's the internet. The whole raison d'etra is to stir up disagreement and conflict, and even if I have to make it up out of thin air I will play my part in that.

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post #14 of 23
5/10/12 at 10:09pm

Schwartz, these last two pieces have been a slice of fried gold my friend.

 

If you had a newsletter, I'd subscribe to it.

 

Also this:

 

 

Quote:

...well, I'm fucking fired.

 

 

Made the milk come outta my nose.

 

Kudos sir.

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post #15 of 23
5/11/12 at 6:37am
Thread Starter 

Ah, thanks. I always wonder if it's worth the effort to scatter the pictures in, but I don't like the alternative wall o' text at all.

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post #16 of 23
5/11/12 at 5:41pm

This is seriously good stuff.

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post #17 of 23
5/14/12 at 9:03pm
Thread Starter 

http://www.chud.com/93237/schwartzblog-the-avengers-part-three/

 

More scattershot thoughts on serialization and franchises, but still sort of Avengers-oriented.

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post #18 of 23
5/15/12 at 6:17pm

You're right, it did work pretty well for me and I've read none of the comics and seen neither Hulk film, nor Thor, nor Captain America. All I knew was from the two Iron Man movies and I thought Avengers worked gangbusters. I didn't even think Thor's introduction was awkward, I loved how brute force and unshowy it was, although I at least had the prior knowledge of his relationship to Loki.

 

I think your point about leaving room to up the ante for sequels extends beyond Loki to the way the fight was contained to Manhattan too. They were saving the Earth, but only slugging it out in NYC. Next film will have a megabudget to match the first's megabox office so they're bound to at least be able to afford to spread out to New Jersey. Maybe even Schenectady.

 

I never knew ABBA was a supergroup though. I mean, I knew they were super, I just didn't know they were separate somebodies before they teamed up to fight one of their Scandanavian gods.

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post #19 of 23
5/15/12 at 7:01pm
Thread Starter 

Fear not, Bucho, my upcoming 14 part ABBA series (ABBLOG?  ABBABLOG?) will answer all your questions.  As a special sneak preview, the answer to the first one is "5.5 inches, with a hard right turn about halfway down."

 

There's definitely room to sprawl out the scale of the action, and the size of team along with it.  Although for it's sprawling roster over the years, the Avengers hit the D List pretty quick once you get outside the ones we've got already.

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post #20 of 23
5/20/12 at 1:43pm
Thread Starter 

http://www.chud.com/93808/schwartzblog-the-avengers-part-four/

 
In which I ponder some of the options available for Avengers sequels
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post #21 of 23
5/21/12 at 11:18pm
Thread Starter 

http://www.chud.com/94059/schwartzblog-community-in-the-stupidest-timeline/

 

In which I pre-emptively mourn for a favorite show

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post #22 of 23
5/22/12 at 11:00am

Could you please stop being so smart? You're making it really hard for the rest of us out here. 

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post #23 of 23
5/22/12 at 11:24am
Thread Starter 

I'll be picking back up with the problem drinking come this Friday, that might help.

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