Suicide of someone close to you

My condolences.

I would write something more, but I can't even fathom what you must be going through. I think anything that I could say would just seem hollow.  

Horrible, horrible stuff. My condolences.

My best friend of my late teens (before I moved to L.A.) killed himself about six years back. We were like brothers for the longest time, but he started doing speed and popping pills and just being a complete shitshow, so I cut off contact with him for about three years, then my mom called me one day to tell me that his wife found him dead in his living room in a pool of blood, apparently he took a bunch of pills chased with booze and just started horking blood all over the place and died.

I really haven't had any great male friends like that since then. Feels weird, but I dunno. Anyway, sorry man.

Man alive.  My condolances.

Kel, I'm really sorry for your loss.  I have been through this.  A cool person that I had known for years and visited and he'd visited me.  He must have been troubled in more ways than I could detect -- that's all I could think of as to a "why."  But survivor's guilt is real-- you just have to get through it one day at a time.  It won't be easy and the pain never really goes away.  Hang in there.  It may help you to do something constructive, like doing something for her kids.  I'm really, really sorry. 

What a sad story, Kel. I wish I had some good soothing advice or guidance, but I'm afraid I don't. Just hang in there and do the best you can.

The person wasn't especially close to me, but I knew him well enough.  He was my friend's boyfriend.  Nice enough guy, but had major demons and took them out on everyone, my friend included.  He'd suffered abuse at the hands of his father when he was a child, was neglected by his mother, and had severe abandonment issues, to the point that if my friend wanted to go have a girls' night out with our friends, her boyfriend would lay on the guilt trip THICK.  Finally, my friend said enough and left him.  The guy started following her around, begging her to come back, even threatening to kill himself if she didn't come back.  My friend finally got a TRO (temporary restraining order) to keep him at bay, and informed his family of his threats.  Guess they didn't take him seriously, or care enough to take him seriously.   About two months later, he killed himself.  My friend was devastated, even though she didn't want him around anymore.  Took her a while to accept that it wasn't her fault, and that his course was set long before she ever met him.  Personally, I was a bit sad but not too surprised.  It seemed to me that he was a grenade waiting for his pin to be pulled.

Nothing I say or do will ease your pain, Kel, but for what it's worth, I am truly sorry for your loss.

I'm sorry to hear that, and my heart goes out to you and her family.

Two of my good friends have taken their own lives in the last 5 years or so. Both were due to major drug addictions, tho the reasoning was different. One was addicted to Crack, and didn't want to end up becoming a stereotypical 'Crack-Head', the other shot himself in the head in a Ketamine induced madness.

I loved them both, but hate them too, for deciding the rest of us weren't good enough to help. I never have nearly as much sympathy for a suicide as I do for any other kind of death. Its hard and I wish you the best in getting through this.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kel 
and has two very sweet kids, 8 and 9.

Those poor poor kids. :(

I'm very sorry to hear this and hope you are okay. I've been through something similar.

A few years back, a friend of mine asked if I'd go to Amsterdam with him for the weekend and for a number of reasons which seem insignificant now I turned the offer down. Two weeks after this, Scott killed himself. Shortly after his funeral, I discovered that he'd written a list of things which he wanted to do before he died and that spending the weekend with me in Amsterdam was on that list. It tore me up inside when I heard that.

I spent a long time after his death listening to the music which he'd recorded (he was a song-writer and played the guitar), trying to determine if I could have seen this coming if I'd taken more notice of the lyrics. It took me a long time to not only get over his death but also the guilt I felt about it.

It's a terrible place to be and I feel sorry for you. I also feel sorry for your friends' children. You ultimately have to come to terms with the fact that sometimes people make choices we don't understand; choices we'll perhaps never understand. You can say "If only..." and "What if...." but that's just a way of torturing yourself. You didn't see this coming because you weren't meant to. When someone has made the decision to end their life, they aren't going to let you know and you're probably not going to see the signs unless they want you to.

I wish you all the best Kel. I hope you have good friends around you and people to whom you can talk about this.

Quote:

Originally Posted by MrSaxon 

I'm very sorry to hear this and hope you are okay. I've been through something similar.

 

A few years back, a friend of mine asked if I'd go to Amsterdam with him for the weekend and for a number of reasons which seem insignificant now I turned the offer down. Two weeks after this, Scott killed himself. Shortly after his funeral, I discovered that he'd written a list of things which he wanted to do before he died and that spending the weekend with me in Amsterdam was on that list. It tore me up inside when I heard that.

 

This might sound bad, but I would take a little solace in knowing that he cared enough about you to put you on his bucket list.  His death came much too soon and under awful circumstances, but the fact that he thought of you as one of the good things in his life is something to feel good about, not torn up about.  Again, I'm not in your situation and it is admittedly a horrible situation, but I hope you know that your friend loved you.