Five Essential Horror Movies

Hey, chenzzo-

I'd probably end up in a three-way barbed-wire bat, falls count anywhere Hardcore Match with Butane and Nick Nunziata for the title of Horror Know-it-All here at CHUD, but It'd end with me clenching Nick's still-beating heart in my Left Hand Black, and Johnny's larynx between my teeth- -but...

I'd keep-

Nightmare on Elm Street-Before he was a wildly-successful cartoon character, Freddy Krueger was the surreal psychological afterbirth of the sins of amoral parents perpetuated on their innocent children. It is because of this that the central idea of Freddy resonates.

Evil Dead 2-The film's sucessful melding of gore-drenched horror and ludicrous slapstick influences horror films to this day, and it's explosive camera has most definitely taken over mainstream cinema. If you need any proof-when Stallone drops in the streetfight at the climax of Rocky V, the dementia in his head is rendered Sam Raimi-style.

Remove Pet Semetary-not that it's bad, it just that, by the very nature of your thread, we're looking for essentials. I'm trying to compile a list that, when you step back and look at the whole thing, you can create a family tree-something to which you can trace the roots of contemporary horror.

Remove "Dracule"-DOKTOR, PLEEEZE!

Remove Scream-again, not because it's bad...

Add Halloween-Scream simply pays good-natured homage to this film-and without Wes Craven's direction, which deftly uses the widescreen image in the same way Carpenter did-to conceal and reveal, it would, I'm positive, be no different then the clones and ripoffs over the last twenty years.

Add Night of the Living Dead-get a hold of Anchor Bay's vid release of the Elite THX Laserdisc transfer-and the film feels as vital and contemporary as any film released today. The socio-political/race-relations ground that is subtly covered...the knowledge that the living humans are acting with with more savagery than the creatures they combat-It's so urgent and it rings so true. This film is the archetype for "Docu-Horror."

Add Psycho-I shouldn't even have to explain this one. Profoundly influential and absolutely legendary.

Anyway, that's my go at it. And my opinions are so valid and correct that I expect this post to be the final word on the subject.
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Next!

Here's my picks:

Halloween
Psycho
The Exorcist
The Shining
A Nightmare on Elm Street

I'd add Jaws, but even though it has many geniunely frightening scenes, I just don't seem to consider it a horror movie.

Same with the first two Alien movies

Okay, I have to say no to "The Shinning" ooops, "Shining", mainly because I am fierce Stephen King fan, fierce I say, and the movie didn't follow the book nearly close enough for my liking. Perhaps if I had seen the movie seperatly, it would've been different. But I didn't, so it's not. Same with "Pet Semetary" (now, the sequel, that's a different story EDDIE FURLONG FOREVER). Here, this is my list

1) Halloween
2) Nightmare on Elm Street
3) An American Werewolf In London
4) Evil Dead 2
5) The Cabinet of Dr. Calagari

Now, some may not agree with all (like "werewolf"), but these are the most infuluential films I saw. Thank you, good night.

He broke a record, MOX. Not only did he put 10 choices in his top 5, but since he didn't specify which film number or remake in each, he actually included about 35 films in his top 5. Pretty damned good if you ask me!

Uh-oh, another mad at the world poster. Don't make fun of him, guys

Make fun of him? I wouldn't dreeeeeeeeeeeeam of it...snotboy...

DJ, get your oar ready (did you ever get one?) it seems some bad shits gonna go down on poor ole Eugene. Too bad, I liked his MOXy.

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Join me or die. Can you do any less?

I just want to see Eugene freak out again, that's all.

Your liver is safe

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Join me or die. Can you do any less?

As a matter of fact, Johnny, I did not get my oar. I sent off the Corn Flakes proofs of purchase (How the HELL do you pluralize that!?), but I got a notice saying that unless generalzod drops his lawsuit against CHUD for copyright infringement, I ain't gonna get one. I'm a saaaaad panda.

[This message has been edited by DJEvil (edited 03-21-2000).]

Hehehe...add 2 graham crackers, a marshmallow, and a Hersheys bar and it's a S'Morgus Board!

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH! OH, BOY! OH! OH, geeze! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! AHAHA! Oh, man...oh, man...Whew!

DJ-I ask this of you as I've asked it of myself countless times...

How can one man simultaneously rule so much and yet suck so bad?

We like the term, "Multiple Personality Disorder."

I just read the S'Morgus Board thing, so I'm replying to that...

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA...AHAHAHAHAH...HAHAHAHAHA...OMYG OD...BWWWWAAAAAHHHH!!!!

(i think i pooped myself)

Hmmm...all good names, but I got one..."Yellow Gumby." Is that cool wit you?

Fright Night. Good call.

Hmmmmmm........
Pick only five, eh......
1. Return of the Living Dead(killer soundtrack, Linnea Quigley, utmost gore)

2. The Shining(there's something about this cheesy flick that creeps me out to this day.)

3. Texas Chainsaw Massacre II("all you motherfuckers......don't tell me what I should......do-o-o-o-)

4. Shocker(that's right.......I said Shocker! Wanna' do somethin' bout it?)

5. Back to School(Rodney Dangerfield in that swimsuit........How scary is that?

Hehehe

I really like this guy.

Ok, yet another first timer here. Top 5 essential horror picks:

Re-Animator
Night Of The Living Dead
The Exorcist
Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Suspiria

This list is subject to change at any time under the discretion of said girlcreeture who reserves the right to have forgotten something or change her mind.

Another woman! And she's in the CCKillings! I think I'm in love. Wait, no it's a stroke.

Okay, I shall modify my list for I am stupid and this wonderful girlcreeture has enlightend me. Re-animator is definetly one of the top five.

OHMYFUCKINGGOD!
<begin chewout--

You little pipsqueak, how could you possibly miss this movie? My god, do you live in a hole? You deserve to be sent to the BOWELS of AICN, and eat not but burning hot coals and drink not but burning hot cola. How do you wake up in the morning knowing you are such a FREAK?!?

--/chewout>

Heehee. I'm so funny. Anyway, yes this movie is damn good, my friend, with Jefferey Combs (he was in 'The Frighteners', but you probably haven't seen that, either ) as a really meesed up doctor. Great flick for decapitated head erotica.

I had no idea females were so highly revered here, muchas gracias. And yes Re-Animator is certainly one of the best, Jeffrey Combs is a man to be reckoned with, so see this movie if you haven't yet!!! Education is important!
I heard he (Combs that is)was actually up for Wormtongue in the LOTR trilogy but Dourif won out, sniff sniff.........

Ohmygod, marry me. You like horror and know stuff about LOTR. You wouldn't happen to like punk music, too, would you?

And my furture wives word, don't forget! Ah,in love again.

girlcreeture-Johnny. Johnny-girlcreeture.

Now that we've made with the intros, Johnny will procede to hump your leg.

HAM, a little respect would be appreciated. I will not hump her leg until (if) she becomes a BADASS sewer chewer. I would not waste my leg humping skills on a lowly sewer chewer.

Oh-sorry. I was out of line, there.

So THIS is the kind of talk that goes on during those blackouts of mine eh? Damn the blackouts!
Well, even if this is a few hours later, what the heck, envision leg humping action if it makes you smile, and as far as upgrading from lowly to badass, my job is in what some people call it's off season, so basically I commute and sit front of my computer trying not to drool like an extra from Dawn of the Dead. I like it here and plan to earn money while crusing the pleasant vistas(?) and grassy plains (?!) of Casa de Chud.

PS - I'm partial to punk and I adore anything you can bang a head (preferably removed from the body first) at.

This girl is somethin special, lemme tell ya.

No girl is anything too special.

-Jason Pollock

That guy's a genius, I quote him often. I revel in mysogeny...

Who Here Wants to Fight?

HAM doesn't have a low opinion of women; he just hates all of them.



Hey, you're right! The smiley face does take the edge off!

What did I tell ya' DEEJ, what did I tell ya'?

I know it all.

Everybody hates a Know-It-All.

Who loves you, Kenny?

Removing the edge...

Why revel in misogeny? It's more fun hating everybody in general and equal amounts, right now I hate Buena Vista for putting a preview on the Sixth Sense DVD that you can't forward through, grrrr

[This message has been edited by girlcreeture (edited 03-30-2000).]

What're you talking about-I LOVE mysogeny-I give EXCELLENT backrubs. I'm very dextrous, and I apply just the right amount of pressure.

I'm kidding. I don't hate girls-no matter how many times they beat me up.

I gotta' say though, creetchie-you're a little behind the times-

I've hated DISNEY since I was BORN.

Not that I don't believe you-I just don't believe IT-they put ADS on a DVD that you can't skip?

[This message has been edited by Hot Animal Machine (edited 03-30-2000).]

Yuppers, the bastards, you pop the disc in and a preview for Mission to Mars begins and when you try to scan through it it tells you you can't fast forward, it's a dirty trick that I fear is going to become a habit.

Yep. First they make you sit through the FBI warnings -- in English AND French ... and now they're making you sit through their previews. DAMN! I HATE DVDs! I'm going back to flip-cards!

Have you seen Star Wars on flip-cards. God, it's cool!! But my wrist gets tired.

I don't think I'd go as far as abandoning DVD but the memory of flip cards makes me feel all warm and glowy inside...........

nope. that's the irradiated pellet I slipped you. Sorry.

Okay, I'm officially in love with the creeture, and I'm not being all nice and flirty like HAM, I'm being honest. All I have to do is find a way to get her. I think the Oar would do the trick. Any suggestions?

I just read my last post, and I see how it could be conveyed as creepy, so let me add this...

I'm not flirting, Johnny-don't even know the meaning of the word, really.

See, for me to even be interested, I have to know who I'm talking to. Nobody really KNOWS anyone here-even though we try...

Also-flirting is shaming yourself instantly-and I refuse to shame myself for a woman-especially one I've never laid eyes on.

Who fucking knows-she sems pretty cool, but if we were using that as a meter, I'd profess my undying love to chenzzo, grendel, DJ, Blofeld, and Nick.

And havent you learned that chasig the poonie only gets you in trouble-you're a rock star-figure it out!

Most importantly-you should know that the only female I have eyes for is on the road with Lit right now.

However, she DID e-mail me last night...

And if you DO wish to win the creetch, maybe you should give this line a try-

"Hey...Whaddya' say we..have some champagne, eh baby? After all-I'm a man, and you're a..woman-'least last time I checked-Heh-heh...bum-BUMMMM..BUMM..bum-bumm....."

Works eeeevery tiiime...

This is rather interesting..............
So what's wrong with flirting? It's fun and not at all shameful you silly ole HAMMY you.
But what's with this oar thingie, enlighten me please, it's my lunch hour, I have time and ooooohhh they're playing that nifty 80's song "I hear the secrets that you keep..." on the radio. Time for a ciggie.............

Ohmygod, she smokes, and she likes horror movies and she has a JOB! Who couldn't love this girl? And by the way, I think I have profesed my love for the above mentioned members in a post entitled 'sometimes I think this place rules'. So there.

You, my dear creech, will learn about the oar soon enough

And it's BECAUSE I'm a rock star that I can chase it, HAM. Yeah.