So, uh... I liked the grrl power of the last twenty minutes. This is unquestionably Stewart and Theron's movie.
Aside from that, eh... this Sanders guy seems like he had "Legend" and Ridley's "Robin Hood" on shuffle while shooting this thing.
It's pretty, and some of the effects are almost somewhat imaginative. But the storytelling is turgid and boring and slow as hell. You could feel my audience get restless. They give this film the stuffy prestige sheen and attitude, but the story and characters are distinctly Z-grade, so it's just twenty minutes at a time spent telling four minutes of story. For two hours.
Couldn't decide if Hemsworth was doing a Scottish or Irish accent. Eventually settled on Sean Connery doing Irish. Stewart is alright, but she doesn't have much of a character to play. In the second half of the film she takes charge, and I thought she was pretty convincing, but you're also thinking, wait, where did this character come from? Charlize has a campy good time, but spends most of her screen time sheltered away in her castle. She's also slowly decomposing, until she has to conjure up some eeevil magic. It's a little random. Did not recognize the actor who played her (possibly incestuous?) henchman brother. Laughed each time he screwed up her plan by revealing their trump card way too early, Evil Laugh-style.
The dwarfs are kind of forgettable, and not given the screen time or respect they were given in Mirror Mirror (and I can't believe I said that). That's unfortunate, considering this murderer's row of talent - Bob Hoskins, Ian McShane, Nick Frost, Eddie Marsan, Toby Jones and Ray Winstone? Knock off the CGI and just have this cast as regular-sized forest marauders, and you have my ticket.
There's one scene where a couple of thimble-sized nymphs crawl out of bird stomachs and lead Snow White to a horse with twenty foot antlers. By far the strangest thing in the movie, with almost zero context. Wish the rest of the movie was that colorful.