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PIRAHNA 3DD Thread

post #1 of 35
5/19/12 at 3:39pm
Thread Starter 

According to Gabe and some others here at CHUD who have already seen it, this is a dissapointment.

 

Less nudity. Less Pirahna chewing as well.

 

Might still see this though. If only for Katrina Bowden and Gary Busey's cameo.

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post #2 of 35
5/19/12 at 11:47pm

David Koechner gets to ham it up. So there's that.

The trade-off is David Hasselhoff improv-ing a wink-wink performance as himself.

 

John Gulager is a shit director. Half of this movie doesn't even make sense. Get this man away from a goddamned camera.

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post #3 of 35
5/25/12 at 4:39am
Thread Starter 

Ah the miracles of 3D!

 

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post #4 of 35
5/29/12 at 1:51pm

So is the movie being crap the reason it's only opening in 75 theaters?

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post #5 of 35
5/29/12 at 2:33pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Gabe T View Post

David Koechner gets to ham it up. So there's that.

The trade-off is David Hasselhoff improv-ing a wink-wink performance as himself.

 

John Gulager is a shit director. Half of this movie doesn't even make sense. Get this man away from a goddamned camera.

 

Clu's Son?  Does Clu get a cameo?

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post #6 of 35
5/29/12 at 10:49pm

Clu and Busey are in the very first scene.

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post #7 of 35
5/31/12 at 9:30pm

Ugh. This is what I'm sure many of us feared Aja's Piranha would be. Just total amateur hour hackwork, cheap, lazy and witless. And, man oh man, does it feature a downgrade from the insane Saving Private Ryan D-Day-esque close of the first film. This one amounts to a couple dozen blood-covered extras splashing about in a pretty empty pool pretending to be eaten by piranhas that the studio was too cheap to actually put on screen. Embarrassing straight-to-DVD-quality shit.

 

There are a couple  amusing gore moments, although they don't really involve piranhas. And the good one that does, makes no fucking sense. At all. It feels like an idea Gulager had for a while and just decided to shoe-horn in here.

 

As for nudity, I'd argue there's probably a bit more than the first. But nothing to match Kelly Brook and Riley Steele's underwater duet. Mostly just clumsy shots of naked extras thrown in sporadically. No actual characters get naked.

 

The young cast is pretty uniformly terrible. And there are two dudes that look identical to one another, and both play nerds with girl problems. Kind of confusing. As for the celeb cameos, Lloyd repeats his previous performance for too long, Busey is wasted, and Hasselhoff runs rampant to really unfunny effect. God, if I never see another Baywatch parody I'll die happy. Rhames is at least amusing, although I don't understand why he'd be hanging out with Paul Sheer's porn filmmaker dude...

 

I dunno, if you, like I, can find even slight joy in even the shittiest killer fish movies, this one won't bore you. But it's completely and utterly disposable, and a wild fall from the last Piranha flick.

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post #8 of 35
6/1/12 at 7:35am
Quote:
Originally Posted by felix View Post

According to Gabe and some others here at CHUD who have already seen it, this is a dissapointment.

Less nudity. Less Pirahna chewing as well.

Might still see this though. If only for Katrina Bowden and Gary Busey's cameo.

You'll pay for a shit movie just to see the cameos of a couple of nobodies? The love that people have for the first film is nigh mystifying to me, but this is just...
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post #9 of 35
6/1/12 at 9:03am

This is fucking terrible. Don't even waste the money on VOD.

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post #10 of 35
6/1/12 at 4:57pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sebastian OB View Post

This is fucking terrible. Don't even waste the money on VOD.

 

I told you not to see it!

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post #11 of 35
6/1/12 at 6:27pm

I feel oddly conflicted bad-mouthing this movie and I'm not sure why. I didn't enjoy watching it very much. Yet I feel some strange need to coddle it.

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post #12 of 35
6/1/12 at 7:24pm

I think I'd feel worse ripping it to shreds if it was a stand alone feature without any franchise baggage. I love killer aquatic animal movies, even terrible ones. Heck, I even enjoyed bits and pieces from Shark Night 3D. But if you're going to make a follow-up to Aja's Piranha 3D, and give it an awesomely wink-wink title like Piranha 3DD, you have to take it to the next level.  This one pretty much goes in reverse, delivering nothing remotely as cool/gross/sexy/whatever as the previous entry. It feels like a half-assed DTV sequel. That's where my irritation comes from.


Edited by Episode29 - 6/1/12 at 8:08pm
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post #13 of 35
6/1/12 at 7:28pm

As for the twist...

 

Warning: Spoiler! (Click to show)

Piranha 3DDD: Piranhanoids From The Deep.  I kinda want to see that actually happen.

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post #14 of 35
6/1/12 at 8:10pm

Screw this movie, I'll stay home and watch Megashark vs. Crocosaurus.

 

'They've got to stop hitting the shark! He swallowed a nuclear submarine!'

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post #15 of 35
6/1/12 at 9:03pm
Watch Shark Attack 3: Megalodon instead. Pure glorious crap.
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post #16 of 35
6/2/12 at 3:49pm

Watching this right now via Amazon's Instant Video service. Not hating it so far. I'm digging it, but it's nowhere near the level of the first one. I agree that it feels like a DTV sequel. It's as if they were just too cheap to at least give the film a budget to match the first films.

 

Still, the gore and sleaze on display is enough for me to not regret spending the 7 bones I did renting it.

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post #17 of 35
6/2/12 at 4:12pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Episode29 View Post

Watch Shark Attack 3: Megalodon instead. Pure glorious crap.


 

Save yourself the time, just watch this.

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post #18 of 35
6/2/12 at 4:17pm

Shark Attack 3 also gave us the classy quote ever!

http://youtu.be/w1XOfHax6Q8


Edited by Chaz - 6/2/12 at 5:03pm
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post #19 of 35
6/2/12 at 4:21pm

Ahaha I was looking for that, fucking classic.

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post #20 of 35
6/2/12 at 4:59pm

Not a bad film. The bloopers at the end were a hoot as was FISH HUNTER. Certainly wish they'd given them more of a budget so they could have had an epic finale like the first one. Still, what was there was cool. The line "You ginger little moron." was hilarious, and I'll welcome the 3DDD sequel that's set up at the end.

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post #21 of 35
6/2/12 at 5:23pm
Jesus Christ, man, the fact that the only film I recall you dismissing is DRIVE is out and out fucking terrifying to me.
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post #22 of 35
6/2/12 at 5:34pm

Yeah, me not slobbering over Drive has made quite a few heads explode. I didn't hate the film, I just wasn't wowed by it like many others.

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post #23 of 35
6/2/12 at 6:02pm

It's really, really awful (I worked on a film called 2001 Maniacs: Field of Screams, and this is essentially that with one or two extra bucks), but I did laugh once or twice.  And Christopher Lloyd does a perfect Doc Brown, which was worth the pay-per-view charge.

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post #24 of 35
6/2/12 at 6:55pm

The audio on the dvd of 2001 Maniacs: Field Of Screams was friggin' awful. Could barely hear what they were saying. Made the movie that much more atrocious. Compared to the solid outing that was 2001 Maniacs.

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post #25 of 35
6/2/12 at 10:28pm

Do not get me started on the sound mix.  Basically, the local company responsible was incompetent and we lost all of our on-set audio.  That's why the whole film is (terribly) ADR'd.

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post #26 of 35
6/2/12 at 11:15pm

It's no wonder the third 2001 Maniacs film has yet to come to pass.

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post #27 of 35
6/3/12 at 3:56am

Boring and lazy. Lazier than this post!

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post #28 of 35
6/3/12 at 8:03am

Is the final shot of the film-- involving a land-evolved piranha biting a kid's head off-- as awesome as it sounds? Or is it just kind of terrible, like the rest of the movie sounds? 

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post #29 of 35
6/3/12 at 12:33pm

The latter.

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post #30 of 35
6/3/12 at 5:24pm

Well, fuck me. 

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post #31 of 35
6/3/12 at 6:54pm

Just watched it.

At least the first one was decently shot, and threw the gore at you with enough visceral punch that you knew it was having fun.

 

This one was so cheap and basically poorly made.

I only laughed at the girl birthing a fishie and Hasselhoff  running out of breath.

 

Really worthless moment..,, pool manager getting decapitated by flag line.  Severed head landing between blood soaked boobies.

 

Effects were total crap. That moment could have been actually funny, but it was all so poorly staged and shot. Timing was just off

 

All looked so stupidly obvious.

 

I would only watch it again to make notes on how NOT to make a movie

 

 

Sorry Chewers..  the movie just pissed me off

 

And I did enjoy the first one

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post #32 of 35
6/4/12 at 10:03am

I was just listening to The Adam Carolla podcast and he said that he asked David Koechner how Pirahna 3DD was and his reply was "I have kids and a mortgage". Gotta love that.

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post #33 of 35
6/5/12 at 10:55am

Word is going around that instead of the $20 million budget it was originally supposed to be getting when it was announced last year, the Weinsteins cut it back to $8 million.............with only 5 mill making it on screen.  The other 3 was divided up among the producers.

 

So it basically had a DTV budget.  No wonder they didn't want to give it a wide release.

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post #34 of 35
8/4/12 at 3:32pm

There's some good stuff in this. But it's like mixing chocolate chips in a pile of shit and calling it a cookie.

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post #35 of 35
8/9/12 at 4:52pm

Just picked up this (along with Detention and Wanderlust) from Redbox.  Should be an interesting night.

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