REVIEW: ROCK OF AGES

Tim you always make me feel better. I seriously dug the film.

Eta With the exception of Brand's sometimes there/sometimes not 'Brummie' accent. And I say that as a fan.

That was a fun review, Tim.

Thanks guys! These are some lovely compliments. Was expecting to get taken to task coming out of the gate. 

It's a fine review. An awesome review. You're awesome. You're my Stacee Jaxx.

Maybe you should forget I said that.

Fun review, Tim.

One of these days, people will stop being surprised when Russell Brand is great in things. Thats the case for most things he's in these days.

 

Im actually really glad to see this is as much fun as the trailers made it look.

Two things. First, Justin is right about Brand.

 

 

Second, stop making me interested in this! I don't want to watch an Adam Shanckman movie!

Is there a word for something that you're both looking forward to AND dreading simultaneously?  Because that's totally this film for me.

 

I caught Arthur on HBO a few weeks ago. I'll be damned it's not... that... bad. He's got that 90s Robin Williams thing going on where he can be decent in films and then you see him in a interview and feel compelled to shellack him.

 

His Bookie Wooks don't do him any favors. 

This reminds me of Harry Knowles review of Lady in the Water.

I honestly didn't think that Brand stood out from the rest of the cast in any particular way.  He was fine and I liked the character and his sweet relationship with Alec Baldwin's character, but otherwise...  I'm having a hard time recalling much more about him.

This review has made my mind up - I'm seeing this sonofabitch in all its glory.

 

 

 

 

I love him in interviews because I love listening to people who're uberarticulate and have superhuman vocabularies.

 

I've never liked his standup at all though.

Taking the wife to se this tonight. She's an 80s rock chick so it's almost tailor made for her.

I absolutely hated this.

DETAILS!

There's no energy to it at all, not even in embracing the sheer cheesiness of it.  Hough's voice isn't up to the material, and then Mary J.Blige shows up and embarrasses every single other singer in the film.  Zeta-Jones' entire character could be removed and the film would miss nothing except how damn hot she is when she sings and dances.  It's too long, it botches the Stacee Jaxx character (despite Cruise giving his all), the songs don't feel organic, the love story is just by-the-book, and everybody is a caricature but doesn't have enough fun with it to make up for it.

 

Honestly one of the worst major summer releases I've seen in a while.

 

I actually thought her dance numbers/choreography came across really goofy in this.  I had a good laugh, but I wasn't sure if I was supposed to laugh.

I think you were.  We know Tipper Gore didn't succeed (and that's clearly who this is supposed to be), so she's never a serious threat.  In fact, there's never any really serious complications in this.  You know Sherrie and Drew will get back together.  The Bourbon Room exists in an alternating state of either the brink of ruin or smash success, but you never feel like it's ever in any danger of closing.

 

My biggest beef is that Stacee Jaxx should have been teased for the whole film, only to finally appear at the end for the final concert.  You build him and build him -- will he show up for the show that can save the club? -- and then unleash him in the third act.  Then all the other storylines resolve during his show.

The trailer kinda felt like it was selling the movie that way (with Stacee Jaxx being some mystical figure that only comes in at the end).

 

You're totally right about there being no serious complications.  Zeta Jones' character and her movement NEVER have any effect on the story. 

And really, they should have just written Bryan Cranston a check, for as much work as he did on this film.

On the flip side, I really enjoyed it.  It's ridiculously too long (clocks in at about 2:10) and the two leads are both Vapor Characters, but the supporting cast delivers and the tone was just right.  It fully embraced the cheese and just went to town with it.  It's not like they were desecrating some golden standards here; I personally am not going to bemoan this movie for tarnishing the integrity of Warrant. 

 

The film also contains two of the most batshit love song duets in recent history.  Props to that.  I'm certainly not going to rush out and buy the soundtrack album, but I enjoyed the film for what it was:  80's porn served with a giant slice of Velveeta.  

Agreed on the soundtrack. Weird thing though, I went onto to my spotify and downloaded the original songs by the original artists in the order they appear. It's weird that, after hating Poison for so many years, I can't sort of dig talk dirty to me in this new context.

Thing is, I was on board with the film early on.  The passengers on the bus breaking out into the chorus of "Sister Christian"?  Golden.  The chaos of the Bourbon Room set to "Nothin' But a Good Time"?  Aces.  There was energy and enthusiasm and then ... I don't know, it all just sort of ebbed away.  Baldwin and Brand randomly joining in with "I Love Rock and Roll" in the middle of "Jukebox Hero" just didn't work, and the film lost me from there.

It's so funny that I had the opposite reaction. I got weary during the record store number, which reminded me a little too much of Fame. But the Jaxx/Sack number brought me back. And then there's the big kiss, which I thought was awesome. Tonally it's wonky. I wish they'd done full camp from the beginning.

I was thinking how much I'd have loved to see John Waters do this. Seems fair since Shankman took on Hairspray.

 

How did they name the character "Sheree Christian," and NOT also sing "Oh, Sherry?"   

 

They play a few bars of it when Drew is looking at Sherrie's time card, but yeah, that was a big miss.

 

Must have been a rights issue.  They had no problem getting Journey songs.