First I was like, eh? Then I was like, uh. Then I was like, ok. And then I was like, oh. And then I was like, OH. And then I was like, this is cool. And then I was like, YES. And then, YES YES YES. And then a straight half hour of HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.
It's the very best movie Troma never made. Not a single joke or wink, but 100% ridiculous.
-One vamp says, "Abraham fuckin' Lincoln."
-Lincoln destroys a tree with the POWER OF TRUTH.
-A young black child takes a whip to the face from a white slave owner. The shot is presented in COMIN' 'ATCHA 3D.
-Abe chases a vampire through a horse stampede. They jump from the top of sprinting horse to horse and keep pace with all of them. At one point, said vamp grabs a horse by the hoof and CHUCKS HIM at Abe. Timur Bekmambetov don't give a fuck.
-Abe has an epiphany at the dinner table as he says, "Our guns are as useless as this... fork!" *Stares at fork*
-BEARDS BEARDS SO MANY GLORIOUS BEARDS.