Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter Post-Release Discussion

I need to go see this with a very exclusive group of friends.

I am going to see this. The thing I like the most is that they play it DEAD STRAIGHT from what I've heard.

If this movie explains that vampires were the first slave owners, I'll be very disappointed...until it leads to a new Blade prequel.

Opening night for me.

My favorite thing about the TV spots is how the voice-over guy never says the title.  It's like he looked at it and said, "I ain't sayin' that shit."  

I expect to have my beard and vampire deficiency cured by this film. Psyched.

Reviews currently are, as expected, mixed-to-negative overall.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Gabe T 

 

HIGHLIGHTS:

-One vamp says, "Abraham fuckin' Lincoln."

-Lincoln destroys a tree with the POWER OF TRUTH.

-A young black child takes a whip to the face from a white slave owner. The shot is presented in COMIN' 'ATCHA 3D.

-Abe chases a vampire through a horse stampede. They jump from the top of sprinting horse to horse and keep pace with all of them. At one point, said vamp grabs a horse by the hoof and CHUCKS HIM at Abe. Timur Bekmambetov don't give a fuck.

-Abe has an epiphany at the dinner table as he says, "Our guns are as useless as this... fork!" *Stares at fork*

-BEARDS BEARDS SO MANY GLORIOUS BEARDS.

I'm already sold, but that's exactly what I wanted to hear about this. All of that is excellent news. God, 3D beards. It's my birthday this weekend, and I think I might just insist on this.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Draco Senior 

Reviews currently are, as expected, mixed-to-negative overall.

Oh, go to hell. This is more important than reviews.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Draco Senior 

Reviews currently are, as expected, mixed-to-negative overall.

Not surprising, I can't see too many reviewers appreciating the sort of film that Gabe is describing. Me on the other hand...

Ugh, you people are all so ironic and hip.  You DISGUST me!

Quote:

Originally Posted by Gabe T 

HIGHLIGHTS:

-One vamp says, "Abraham fuckin' Lincoln."

-Lincoln destroys a tree with the POWER OF TRUTH.

-A young black child takes a whip to the face from a white slave owner. The shot is presented in COMIN' 'ATCHA 3D.

-Abe chases a vampire through a horse stampede. They jump from the top of sprinting horse to horse and keep pace with all of them. At one point, said vamp grabs a horse by the hoof and CHUCKS HIM at Abe. Timur Bekmambetov don't give a fuck.

-Abe has an epiphany at the dinner table as he says, "Our guns are as useless as this... fork!" *Stares at fork*

-BEARDS BEARDS SO MANY GLORIOUS BEARDS.

This makes me want to see the movie much, much more than the TV spots and full trailers do.

Aw, crap, Ebert liked it.

He also liked Wanted!

Though that particular genre movie had Angelina Jolie in it, which guaranteed at least 3 stars...

Quote:

Originally Posted by mcnooj82 

He also liked Wanted!

 

Though that particular genre movie had Angelina Jolie in it, which guaranteed at least 3 stars...

http://www.chud.com/community/t/101619/the-roger-ebert-discussion-thread/200#post_2984232

Quote:

Originally Posted by Gabe T 

HIGHLIGHTS:

-One vamp says, "Abraham fuckin' Lincoln."

-Lincoln destroys a tree with the POWER OF TRUTH.

-A young black child takes a whip to the face from a white slave owner. The shot is presented in COMIN' 'ATCHA 3D.

-Abe chases a vampire through a horse stampede. They jump from the top of sprinting horse to horse and keep pace with all of them. At one point, said vamp grabs a horse by the hoof and CHUCKS HIM at Abe. Timur Bekmambetov don't give a fuck.

-Abe has an epiphany at the dinner table as he says, "Our guns are as useless as this... fork!" *Stares at fork*

-BEARDS BEARDS SO MANY GLORIOUS BEARDS.

No shit?  Please, please, please tell me Frederick Douglass shows up to kick some serious ass, Black Dynamite style?  "I threw that wooden stake before I walked into the room!"

"Some motherfuckers are always tryin' to iceskate up Cedar Hill."

I wish Daniel Day Lewis had starred in this film just for the on-set stories of him staying in character through the shoot.

I completely disagree with the sentiment many are tossing out there that the movie wasn't trying to be funny. I think that is its biggest problem. It is sort of trying to do both, and unevenly. If the movie had been deadly serious it would be hilarious. But it isn't. It was written by the same guy who wrote the book, which is a comedy. It's not like Timur wasn't aware this was a weirdo property when he signed on. 

I found the fact that it wasn't pushing the drama or the comedy harder in one direction or the other very disappointing... and kinda boring.

That said, it has two fantastic action set-pieces -- the stampede and the final train showdown. Those are great Timur gonzo action-nonsense.

Some of the scenes might have been funny if the acting wasn't so lifeless.

There were a couple of moments I laughed at during those two set-pieces (the horse toss, abe & will's tandem axe juggling) but overall I thought they were both pretty weak. Just more cg/greenscreen nonsense full of dust and smoke.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Joshua Miller 

I completely disagree with the sentiment many are tossing out there that the movie wasn't trying to be funny. I think that is its biggest problem. It is sort of trying to do both, and unevenly. If the movie had been deadly serious it would be hilarious. But it isn't. It was written by the same guy who wrote the book, which is a comedy. It's not like Timur wasn't aware this was a weirdo property when he signed on. 

 

I found the fact that it wasn't pushing the drama or the comedy harder in one direction or the other very disappointing... and kinda boring.

 

That said, it has two fantastic action set-pieces -- the stampede and the final train showdown. Those are great Timur gonzo action-nonsense.

The book does have comedic elements sprinkled throughout, but it's also surprisingly serious at times and very extensively researched in its portrayal of Abe's life.  That's really where its strangeness comes from, more than any actual attempts at self-conscious comedy from the author - here's a book taking the concept of a president hunting vampires, which is difficult to take seriously, and kind of treating it like it seriously happened.  There's certainly no horse-tossing or spoons in the book, as I recall.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Draco Senior 

 

The book does have comedic elements sprinkled throughout, but it's also surprisingly serious at times and very extensively researched in its portrayal of Abe's life.  That's really where its strangeness comes from, more than any actual attempts at self-conscious comedy from the author - here's a book taking the concept of a president hunting vampires, which is difficult to take seriously, and kind of treating it like it seriously happened.  There's certainly no horse-tossing or spoons in the book, as I recall.

Indeed. But that was the joke. Grahame-Smith was writing a comedy, with the humor derived from how deadly serious he was presenting the subject matter. Timur's style is so inherently NOT serious, that it does not fit well at all with that style of dry humor.

SELF PIMP: if anyone is curious, my first book was also a deadly-dry history/monster mash. http://www.amazon.com/dp/B004EHZDDE

God help me, I kind of loved it. Also, I believe this is most certainly a comedy. When Abe is in full beard, five-dollar-bill mode for the final Gettysburg action setpiece, shotgun axe in hand, the movie gets quite a bit funnier than most comedies.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Arjen Rudd 

God help me, I kind of loved it. Also, I believe this is most certainly a comedy. When Abe is in full beard, five-dollar-bill mode for the final Gettysburg action setpiece, shotgun axe in hand, the movie gets quite a bit funnier than most comedies.

Agreed.  I enjoyed the hell out of this.  It balances the cheese and the solemnity perfectly.  The train finale was a blast.   

So did no one in Lincoln's cabinet notice that his "friend" Henry never seemed to age?  

Whatever you guys were watching was obviously not being projected on my screen, because this was a dreary fucking bore. I can't recall the last time I was actually having trouble staying awake in a theatre. I don't think it's EVER happened.

This is just pure incompetence on almost every level. The script is a nightmare, foisting clunky, dull dialogue on actors who are usually reliable but here seem like amateurs. The action is murky, shitty-looking and uninspired; Zack Snyder without the actual talent. And the film is as patchily edited together as JONAH HEX and paced like congealed syrup.

-Poor zero-dimensional Anthony Mackie shows up, and Speedy (or whatever) is obviously uncomfortable with him. Next scene they're the best of friends.

-Convenient that Abe was wandering down that dingy alley when Cooper was sucking on johns.

-Did the vampires take a 20-year vacation after Abe and crew escaped that party?

-Rufus Sewell: selling generic villainy one line of dialogue per scene.

This was honestly one of the ugliest looking blockbusters I've seen in some time, too.

A bonafide Worst of 2012 contender.

Good lord this was tedious.  It just tried to be so goddamn serious when that's absolutely the LAST thing a film with this kind of title needs to be doing.  Even the more over-the-top scenes were dragged down by the solemnity of some of the actors, who seemed to be under the impression this was some weighty historical drama.  Which might have worked, had the film been consistently over-the-top and stylized, but there are stretches where we might as well be watching deleted scenes from Gettysburg.

And I agree with Episode29, Speed is totally not buying Will when he first appears, then he's driving a wagon into a house to save him.  And just why did Lincoln get a pass between the rescue and becoming president?  And some of the racial overtones were a little uncomfortable, albeit most likely unintentionally.

This movie has aged like a cup of warm yogurt in my mind these past couple weeks. I was not a fan when I saw it, but I find myself growing to actively dislike it the more I think back on it. 15 years ago I'm sure I could have gleaned a lot of pleasure simply out of what a wacko concept for a movie it is, but in 2012 it isn't even that wacko. It is almost a boring idea these days.

People INSIST that playing the joke dead serious is the only way to make it funny.  I would argue a Black Dynamite winking to the audience the whole way through would have worked fine.

It should be noted here, if not elsewhere, that if Nic Cage really is a Civil War era vampire, that perhaps he actually killed Lincoln.

And Kennedy.  (Cuz, why not?)

I'm on the side that was bored as fuck through out the movie.  I think one of the problems was having it take place over his entire life.  The other Lincoln had it right in just focusing on a few months.  If all this action happened when Lincoln was younger it may have been a bit better.  Trying to throw his entire life in there was a mistake many "biopics" make.