The teaser trailer for Madea's Franchise Theft hits.
ALEX CROSS LOOKS LIKE A WALL OF SHIT
I like that literally every line of dialogue sounds like it came from 1,000 other movies. And that they use the tagline "Don't ever cross Alex Cross" (seriously, did fleed write that?) But most of all I like that Fox looks so committed to giving a ridiculous performance. I also like that his weapons seem to get increasingly more sophisticated as the trailer goes on. By the end of the movie I expect him to be pointing a nuke right at Tyler Perry's face.
It looks exactly like a shitty 90s serial killer movie, and seeing as those are fewer and farther between nowadays, I believe I'll take this in at some point (that point being at home, for damn sure). I like how terrible and out of shape Tyler Perry looks as an action star, and how completely batshit Matthew Fox appears to be. I always thought he was just some boring guy; who knew he had it in him?
Rob Cohen directed this??? HAHAHAHAHAHAH
He'll show those damned street racing punks!
I'm kinda sad that Fox came across more insane in the photos we saw before. In the trailer, it felt less goofy. I mean, it's obviously STILL very goofy. But still!
Of course it has a mano-a-mano fight on top of elevated walkways!
After watching the trailer, I'm guessing Elba dropped out after realizing he'd be wasting a bunch of time on a movie that was basically a below average episode of LUTHER.
Please everyone watch Luther, it's on Netflix Instant.
I second this. Luther (or, to be more precise, "Leufah") may not be The Wire or anything, but for an hour-long police procedural it's definitely a cut above most of the competition. (And it's only 10 episodes, so it's not like you have to devote the next 6 months to it.)
As long as there's a scene where he cries while murdering someone, I'll be happy.
Lloyd Levin had David Twohy directing and Idris Elba starring in a legit Alex Cross movie.
And then Tyler Perry wanted to bend it over and put his dick inside.
It's amazing that this guy has the power to ruin good.
I kind of expected this with Tyler Perry and Matthew Fox in the leads but wow worse than I imagined. I've never read Patterson but is his stuff this horrible? I remember liking Kiss the Girls. But maybe that was Morgan Freeman being awesome. It looks like Idris Elba dodged a bullet not being in this although I have a feeling he might of made it awesome even with the bad dialogue and would of owned in this film ala The Wire and Prometheus.
I kind of want to bomb the parrallel Earth that gets to experience that movie whilst I'm stuck with... this.... shit.
That would have been brilliant. Too overage and out of shape guys who emote less than a segment of sidewalk failing miserably to fulfill the expectations of a 90s serial killer movie.
Another hope I have for the film: That Burns' character just gets everything obviously wrong, and Perry keeps having to correct him.
"This has to be at least two, three guys, right?"
"No... this is the work of one man."
"Probably some kind of random thrill killing thing, right?"
"No... he is patient, meticulous, and delivering a message."
"So what about lunch... Italian?"
"No... we're getting Chinese."
It has nothing to do with Belly, I'm pretty sure it retains none of the 'talent' in front of and behind the camera, and it certainly wasn't produced as a sequel, but I think Lionsgate had the rights and decided to slap the Belly name on it to help it sell. It's really, REALLY terrible. In terms of awful Rapper DTV Movies, it's no Paid in Full, closer to Master P's run.
EDIT: OF COURSE the whole movie is on youtube --> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZVZa0lGq4v0
I think you just might get your wish:
...or is that NOT Tyler Perry in drag? I will admit, I'm not terribly familiar with his oeuvre.
For the record, this is the GREAT Cicely Tyson, something of a cinema and TV legend.
Calling her "Tyler Perry in drag" is really fucking uncalled for.
Sorry to bring some humorless outrage into this thread. But Cicely Tyson is kind of awesome.
"I will meet his soul at the gates of hell before I let him take a person that I love from me."
This looks hilarious.
Is that a terrible hammy villain played as if it's oscar worthy? I believe it is. Delightful.
We've got to get inside his head! Where would he be?!
INT: WATER DUCT. NIGHT.
Edited by SeanCE - 6/26/12 at 3:30pm
Yeah, that's some quality Syfy work there.
Upon 2nd viewing, this trailer is utterly HILARIOUS. Watch Perry in those full shots. He doesn't know what to do with his body.
I've been waiting for this movie ever since Jack did that "I just snapped" grin before trying to kill Ben. Vantage Point had some extreme bad guy INTENSITY from him but that was only the last 15 minutes or so. This is going to be hilarious and awesome.