There's this girl I really like - Page 2

So she accepted my friend request on facebook but she like rarely updates it or goes on so I can't even "like" a comment or anything. I think she's going to go to that party in a few weeks. 

I wish I would have followed up on my cousin telling me she wanted to hook us up a while back. I was just too fucking shy and had no confidence back then. 

Ok, so I've been feeling a lot better recently but still not where I want to be. I've been losing weight, running, eating healthy. Really getting ready for this party in a couple weeks. 

Today, our town was having it's summer fair and tonight was the big fireworks. So my aunts come over along with some of my cousins (including the one I'm talking about). We go swimming and then back to our place for a BBQ. My cousin invited a couple of her friends. Well guess who shows up? I like panicked. Holy shit. I wasn't prepared. I mean she's sitting in my house at my kitchen table eating with us. I'm talking a little bit. But I know I was way too fucking nervous. 

I think they're coming to the party in a couple weeks. I really need to work on my shyness. 

Edit: I think I absolutely need to have a few beers before or during the party. I don't really like going overboard and I would probably look/act really stupid if I got drunk. But about 4 or 5 beers and I'm like a completely different person (in a good way). I'm talking to everyone, I'm not acting totally shy. 

Edit again: But yeah, I was thinking maybe I don't really like her. I mean I've only met her a few times and just going by her facebook movie/TV likes isn't really anything. But seeing her today was just... wow. She's smart, funny. She's even shy except for around her sister and her sister's boyfriend. She talked to them most of the time. I'm the same way. When I'm with my cousins and friends I open up, I talk. I just act like myself. Why can't I do that in front of other people? It fucking sucks. It's more than just this too. It's held me back from a lot of things. 

But yeah I've just never felt this way before about anyone. I've always been interested in girls and dating but my shyness and lack of confidence (from being over weight) has held me back. But this girl just seems amazing. 

Quote:

Originally Posted by BlackyShimSham 

Drinking to overcome shyness is a dangerous gamble. It can work, but it can also backfire terribly.

Yeah. Sucks. I know my limit though. 3 or 4 beers is it. If I have anything else I just start acting like an ass. I think I just need it for this though so I can finally open up just a little bit and talk more. 

Quote:

Originally Posted by Evi 

Yeah defintely don't overdo the drinking. A good trick for reducing your shyness, I've found, is talking to everyone. Have problems talking to women? Then start conversations with women that have no in-built expectations, for example go up to women on the street or wherever and ask them for directions. Once you've gotten them, instead of leaving right away see if you can sustain a one minute conversation about anything, then thank them politely and be on your way. You will start feeling better eventually.

 

As far as liking her so much, I think you've got serious "one-itis" for this girl and are setting yourself up for a fall, if you don't mind my saying. I have no doubt that she's a cool person but you've built her up in your head into fucking Cleopatra or something. You'd be doing yourself a great favor if you started getting yourself out there and dating around because stories about "this one girl I really like" rarely end well.

 

And I repeat what I said earlier, I'm not sure why you're waiting for a few weeks to "bump into her" at a party where a million things could go wrong instead of just making it happen.

You're right. I need to stop building her up so much in my head and just talk to her and if anything happens, great. Even just becoming friends would be cool. Her sister and sister's boyfriend are pretty awesome too. 

I think after last night seeing her here I realized I do really like her but she's just as human as I am and I need to quit acting like she's so much better than me. Like I said, next time I run into her I'll talk to her more and if we hit it off that will be great but if not then at least I will know that I tried. Just actually trying will be good enough for me. I'm tired of not trying at things because I feel like I'm no good at it. Plus she just seems like a really cool chick. Even if nothing serious happens I'd still just like to be friends. 

The party was on Saturday. It was fun. I only had a few beers and talked a lot more than last time. She seems really cool. I'm just going to talk to her more. I didn't act all creepy and go "I saw your facebook profile. Want to go out??". lol. 

I realized after what some of you were saying here I was making too big of a deal and setting myself up for possible failure so I'm just going to talk... maybe just be friends or something and if anything happens then it happens. 

It's been a few months. But today we did pumpkin carving and had drinks and snacks and food at my cousin's house. This was the first time I had seen her since July. I was nowhere near nervous this time. I was talking, laughing, goofing around. It was awesome. I feel so much more confident in myself after losing weight. 

Update: So I sort of just gave up. I didn't really see/talk to her much. Then at the end of November her sister sent me an invite to a party through Facebook. The party was last Friday night at the sisters place and me and my cousin and cousin's husband went. It was fun. There was good food/drinks. Then she showed up. I talked to her more. Realized I do really like her. A day later I was talking to my cousin on FB and she told me again "you guys should hook up, you two would be a cute couple". Now I've been talking to this girl on FB since then. She seems awesome. I need to work up the courage and ask her out.

Thanks for the advice! Sorry I didn't reply. I've been sort of busy the past few weeks. I've been really taking losing weight and exercising seriously. It feels so good to be losing weight and fitting into good clothes again and it's giving me so much more confidence. Plus I've been doing other things to finally try and get my life on track. I've filled out paperwork to try and return to school, filled out a ton of job applications to get a new job and just trying to turn my life around right now.

Anyways, I've been talking to her more online. She seems awesome. I'm going to see her on Sunday, I think for a party. I think I will ask her out that day.
 

So I was a big coward again at that party. I mean I talked to her  and we have been talking on Facebok but couldn't work up the courage at all to ask her out. It freaking sucks being so shy and I have absolutely no experience with this. I hate this. I've never felt this way before about a girl. I mean I had crushes back in high school and there have been lots of girls that I've liked and found attractive over the years. But this one just seems so special to me. Maybe because it does feel like we're a lot alike. We have the same sense of humor about things, enjoy the same movies/TV shows. I've never come across someone like her and it's driving me crazy that I can't work up the courage to ask her out.

I hate this time of year in general because it always reminds me of when my Grandparents and Dad passed away. My Grandma in March 2001, Grandpa in March 2003 and Dad in February 2005. So this time of year always bring back bad memories. For the longest time I've dealt with anxiety and depression and just wanted to hold onto the past. I just wanted to give up and just lay in bed all day and rarely go out. But since I started talking to her it's like I'm finally wanting to move on with my life. I want to continue losing weight, eating right, return to and finish college. It's completely turned my life around. I just wish I had the courage to ask her out and tell her how I feel.