Quote:
Originally Posted by
MrBananaGrabber 
Thinking of going from IT to Janitorial. No, really.
At least after I've cleaned something, I can tell that I've done a good job. Also my IT degree is worthless.
I also do art, but that's a long way from being income, though it's on that path.
Fear in the office is HIGH today, and my employer likes to blindside people with layoffs. How hard can I kick myself for not getting my bills completely paid off in the last year? REALLY hard.
Damn. Double damn.
Have you ever read this? May at least entertain you and it has a VERY high wish fulfilment factor.
http://www.theregister.co.uk/data_centre/bofh/
A Sample:
The Director's printer, though, is a whole different kettle of rats. It's going to have to be fixed. Luckily that printer is a per-page rental unit, complete with management card which allows it to communicate errors, printer status, toner levels and waster toner levels to the printer company so that they can ship new consumables and engineers as needed.
That said, the PFY and I have started to suspect that the management interface concerned is simply a randomly blinking LED and that the printing company just ships toner cartridges at us every month or so and bills us some large amounts of pages. Whatever it's doing, the engineer only turns up when you call them...
"It's a driver problem," he says, pulling a crumpled piece of A3 out of the guts of the printer.
"It's NOT a driver problem," the PFY responds tersely.
"Yeah, it is. If they update their driver it'll sort it out."
I bloody hate talking to printer engineers.
"HOW can it be a bloody driver problem?" the PFY asks. "It only jams on A3."
"Oh. It's probably a humidity problem - your paper will be too damp. It curls," he responds.
"No, we tried that - we got new paper, put it straight in, and it jammed," the PFY lies
"Oh. Well it's a driver problem."
"IT'S NOT A F***ING DRIVER PROBLEM!" the PFY says, losing his rag.
"Look," the engineer says, tapping in the secret code that they only use for maintenance and pulling 'chicks'. Sad, sad 'chicks' who are impressed by photocopier stories.
>bip< >bip< >bip< >whirrrrrrrrrrrr<.
"See, perfect," he says, holding up an A3 test page. "And if you go Print a Test Page from your printer it'll work too. Just not this printout - because it's a driver problem."
"How can it possibly be a driver problem?" I ask.
"Well," he says, looking around carefully in case undercover agents from another printer company (did I already say "sad, sad 'chicks'"?) is listening in. "There's a 10 mil margin around the page that you can't print into, because the printer was designed around the Egyptian A3 standard."
"The Egyptian A3 standard?"
"Yes!" he replies with thinly disguised disgust. "The Egyptians invented paper - and the paper standards. The Egyptian A3 standard is slightly smaller than the common A3 standard - because it's metric."
"Have you ever heard the phrase: 'Don't bullshit a bullshitter?' I ask, pulling out the cattleprod with a newly upgraded inverter."
"I... What's that?" our engineer asks nervously.
"This? This is a management interface. You plug it in and push the button and you get told the state of things. Admittedly it's not guaranteed to work first time, but after four or five goes it usually pays for itself. Or someone pays you to stop using it. Either way, it's money well spent."