Line Readings For The Ages

James Woods in THE SPECIALIST.  Shitty movie, and this is obviously a paycheck gig for Woods, but I'll be damned if he doesn't attack the part with a certain glee.  This scene here is full of little moments, things not on the page that feel completely like ad-libs.

 

 

There's an even better moment later on where he ad-libs to an extra to get a new shirt.  I can't find it but it's awesome.

 

It's a movie full of moments where Weaving fucking kills it, but this still wins all.

Always liked the chewy way Brian Cox says,

"Then every son of Troy...

shall diiiie."

 

Also, his entire performance in "Ironclad" is pretty much comprised of moments like this.

The Bear Man from True Grit has the best delivery of any actor in any movie in the history of time itself.

 

Ian McKellen absolutely killing at one of my favorite lines of LOTR.

 

 

Brian Cox is the KING OF TROY.

 

I think it's fair to say that Brian Blessed in FLASH GORDON pretty much wins this thread. Max Von Sydow's Ming is a close second. The sheer joy that they bring to their line deliveries is 90% of the reason why the film works.

Everyone loves this line reading. EVERYONE!!!!!!

 

 

Perhaps my favorite LOTR moment. Again, Ian McKellen just killing it:

 

Brad Pitt as Jeffrey Goines in 12 MONKEYS. It's tough to pick a moment because almost every single line ends up being awesome, thanks to his loopy readings.

 

'Lying bitch!'

 

another good one from FLASH GORDON:

Pretty much every line Bill Nighy gets as Davy Jones is a testament to how great an actor he is--even under all the CGI you can still see him under there. But it's really his voice that kills every time.

 

"Price....*pop*?"

 

 

 

 

"We'll find her. As sure as the...turnin' of the Earth"

Private Hudson, ALIENS.  Paxton at his best.  The 'Game Over' scene is pretty much his best moment.

 

Fava Beans...

 

 

...and a nice chianti.

I'm a little worried this is about half 'The Ham thread' already.

And here's me not helping at all!

 

"I'm still trying to remain courteous.  And I'm beginning to Think that's getting in the Way... of my Being Effective"

 

Can't find a clip for it but McKellen's Gandalf explaining the power of the One Ring to Frodo and whispering "It wants to be found" gives me the wig every damn time. It imbues the Ring with a dark, poisonous personality all its own.

 

And for some reason I can't embed this but Walken is the lord of line readings, as this NSFW scene from KING OF NEW YORK demonstrates: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m9P8lj7-TBM

 

Either "A nickel bag gets sold in the park, I want in" or "You're welcome, you're all WELCOME!" for the win here.

This thread is displaying a worrying lack of E.Grant.

 

"WHAT FUCKER SAID THAT?!?"

 

 

 

And of course, the final scene where we learn that Withnail, with better habits and a bit of luck, could've performed the fuck out of Hamlet - one of my favourite deliveries of this soliloquy (I know, I'm kind of cheating with this one), and one of my favourite final scenes ever:

 

On the Richard E. Grant tip, may I present EVERY single line of his in HUDSON HAWK?  

 

"I'll torture you for so long you'll think it's a career!"

Always had a soft spot for this cold motherfucker right here:

 

You. Made me miss.

I've never missed that board before.

 

I think he's also the one who says "ARE YE DAFT??? An' what'd'ye think they'd say? They'd think us MAD."

'We want the finest wines available to humanity! We want them here, and we want them now!'

 

Of course, easily 75% of this movie is quotable, which has got to tie it with Repo Man for some sort of record.

 

Oh, by the way, my second nomination for best line reading ever?

 

'Plate of shrimp.'

Raider of the Lost Ark: "I don't know, I'm making this up as I go."

Temple of Doom: "Prepare to meet Khali... IN HELL!"

Casino Royale: "The name's Bond. James Bond."

Bladerunner: "It's too bad she won't live! But then again, who does?"

Gangs of New York: "I never had a son. Civilization is crumbling."

Hannibal: "On a similar note, I must confess to you.... I've been giving very serious thought.. to eating your wife."

Total Recall: "See you at the party, Richter!"

Everything this dude says and the way he says it cracks me up.

 

 

"NO. NO. NO. NO. I will not LEEEEEAVE the table."

"It's DICK!!!!!"

"HAVE A GOOD ONE!"

 

He sort of looks like a caricature of Bret Easton Ellis and has the delivery of Jim Carrey at his most manic.

Ledger kills every line here, but my favorite: "I'm not. No, I'm....noT."

 

That distinct "t" sound he makes....fucking chills.

 

Anything --line, phrase, or single word-- that has had the blessing to pass through Ian McShane's lips.

Pretty much anything Alan Rickman says in Die Hard, especially "I must have missed 60 Minutes -- what are you saying?" and "I am an exceptional thief, Mrs. McClane. And since I'm moving up to kidnapping, you should be more polite."

He chose...Poorly

Every line uttered by this guy.

 

Bah! You must quote it with full Arnold-ness: "SEE YOU AT DE PAH-TY, RICHTER!"

"He's so smart, Jenny..."

 

I don't care. I still like this movie. And Hanks' delivery of this line ruins me every time.

The Duke

"Whadda you want me to do, draw you a picture? Spell it out?"

 

And Arnold, having a meeting of minds with the late Richard Dawson

 

On another Hanks delivery note: "We toys can see everything... So play nice!"

 

He's one of those actors who has been in poor films, and has occasionally been miscast. But he's never given a straight-up BAD performance. He seems to be incapable of it.

One of my favorite Hanks line deliveries is in....SLEEPLESS IN SEATTLE. When he's on the phone with Dr Marsha, and they go for the commercial break, he looks over at his son and says,  with perfect Hanksian sarcasm, "This is helpful.....and fun." The utterly insincere nod at the end kills it.

As great as Landa's "That's a Bingo!" is, Brad Pitt's delivery of "bawnjournoh" takes the cake for the best thing in Basterds.

 

Michael Keaton at his most "Michael Keaton-esque". Pretty much everything that Keaton does in this otherwise dull scene is hilarious & electric.

 

It's his most Beetlejuician moment in BATMAN.

While "Khaaaan!" gets the most attention, Shatner's understated delivery of "Just a moment, Khan..." is hilarious. A great character moment that's smack in the middle of an intense life & death situation.

I always liked the way Shatner chokes out "most... human" with the silent h.  It's poignant and... ilarious at the same time.

 

Don't forget Peter Wyngarde's,"Now he showed promise."

"I create nothing...I own."

 

"FUCK YOU, MOM AND DAD!!!"

 

This might be Affleck's finest hour...

 

I typed it that way first but then felt silly. I should have stuck to my guns.

I. Want. More. Life.

Fucker.


The delivery of this line is perfect. Calm with an undercurrent of pure menace. It's one of those HOLY SHIT moments, a true wake-up call to everyone onscreen and everyone in the theater, and credit must be given to Rutger for selling it perfectly.

 

"YOU TELL HIM I'M FUCKING COMMMIIIIIINNNNNG!"

He really leans into that one.  You might say he puts his... Stamp on it?

"...Click."

 

 

And then Scott ruined it by changing it to "father."