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RED DAWN TRAILER FEATURES HEMSWORTH, KOREANS, AND BOOM PEW PEW BOOM BANG

post #1 of 42
Thread Starter 
by Renn Brown: link

Fuck this.
post #2 of 42

This looks like the wet dream of all those 15 year old kids who kicked the shit out of me in Modern Warfare.


Edited by D.T. - 8/10/12 at 1:10pm
post #3 of 42
The original had its moments but has not stood the test of time very well. This I'm sure is even worse. Speaking of which, why hasn't John Milius written or directed anything of relevance in the past two decades? I say give this man a 100M budget and see what he can come up with.
post #4 of 42

It'll hopefully be an over the top, paranoid piece of right wing BS.  If you're gonna smoke one, make it a fat one.  North Korea invading North America? North Korea couldn't make it 100 clicks over the DMZ to Seoul, let alone Michigan.

 

I love how the football coach is wearing a Dillon Panthers t-shirt.

 

One thing I'm not crazy about is how Hemsworth is a recon marine on leave, or something.  One of the points of the original is how they are babes in the woods until Boothe shows up - in this case, Morgan.  And who's gonna take the Ben Johnson role? Duvall? Freeman?
 

post #5 of 42

I just realized how interesting a remake of this story could've been with an Asian protagonist.  But that ain't gonna happen.

 

Yeah, what was up with the blatant Dillon Panthers look?

post #6 of 42
Quote:
Originally Posted by Subotai View Post

It'll hopefully be an over the top, paranoid piece of right wing BS.  If you're gonna smoke one, make it a fat one.  North Korea invading North America? North Korea couldn't make it 100 clicks over the DMZ to Seoul, let alone Michigan.

 

I love how the football coach is wearing a Dillon Panthers t-shirt.

 

One thing I'm not crazy about is how Hemsworth is a recon marine on leave, or something.  One of the points of the original is how they are babes in the woods until Boothe shows up - in this case, Morgan.  And who's gonna take the Ben Johnson role? Duvall? Freeman?
 


They've ruined the movie by swapping out the Chinese for a bunch of starving North Koreans with metal tubes painted to look like missiles.

post #7 of 42
Quote:
Originally Posted by Subotai View Post

It'll hopefully be an over the top, paranoid piece of right wing BS.  If you're gonna smoke one, make it a fat one.  North Korea invading North America? North Korea couldn't make it 100 clicks over the DMZ to Seoul, let alone Michigan.

 

I love how the football coach is wearing a Dillon Panthers t-shirt.

 

One thing I'm not crazy about is how Hemsworth is a recon marine on leave, or something.  One of the points of the original is how they are babes in the woods until Boothe shows up - in this case, Morgan.  And who's gonna take the Ben Johnson role? Duvall? Freeman?
 


Good point,that struck me as silly too.  Hemsworth pre-Thor seems to be giving the sub-par material his best efforts though.  I might end up checking this out on DVD to see how it stacks up against the original.  I predict that it will be rather poorer for the comparison.

post #8 of 42

Strangely, this doesn't look terrible.  At the same time I'm not sure it's a good idea to have your home team flick with two Australians on the poster.  That should be the twist actually.  While they were fighting off the Koreans they didn't notice that Australians moved in and took over.  They change the drinking age to 18 and all native patriotism is soon forgotten.

Then in the sequel (Red Dust Til Dawn) some of the New Americans go back to discover that Australia has been colonised by New Zealand (In the east anyway.  South Africa in the west.  The two populations meet somewhere in the middle, interbreed and create an accent that literally makes people's heads explode.).

post #9 of 42

Not crazy about how they've thrown in the device as the key to the defeat of the invading force.  The original was a corny, over the top fantasy not really worth Milius' talents, but he showed it as a straight-up war of attrition on both sides, the story of the Vietnamese or the Afghans suffered by white people.
 

post #10 of 42

I'm in.  Not like the original wasn't a sterling example of Fun/Retarded/Offensive/Silly.   I'm hoping the new one hits those four quadrants as well.  

post #11 of 42

AHAHAHAHA! 

 

That looks fucking hilarious. A fitting remake of a comedic masterpiece of yore. "We inherited our freedom. Now it's time to fight for it." And Filter? Hello early nineties.

 

I bet Kim Yong Un will be watching this and touch himself.

 

"I bet I could invade the US if I really wanted to. You know I could."

/fapfapfap

post #12 of 42

It looks so anonymous. I don't even have a strong reaction to it.  Pablum.  

 

Quote:
Originally Posted by stelios View Post

AHAHAHAHA! 

 

That looks fucking hilarious. A fitting remake of a comedic masterpiece of yore. "We inherited our freedom. Now it's time to fight for it." And Filter? Hello early nineties.

 

I bet Kim Yong Un will be watching this and touch himself.

 

"I bet I could invade the US if I really wanted to. You know I could."

/fapfapfap

 

I know, right?  Filter!

post #13 of 42

If only they hadn't pussied out and changed the villains from Chinese to North Koreans. I might would have believed a Chinese invasion.

post #14 of 42
Quote:
Originally Posted by stelios View Post

AHAHAHAHA! 

 

That looks fucking hilarious. A fitting remake of a comedic masterpiece of yore. "We inherited our freedom. Now it's time to fight for it." And Filter? Hello early nineties.

 

 

Heh, the Filter song stood out for me, too. I mean,if you're gonna pitch your movie to teenagers try to pick a song that's less than 17 years old. Enough newer bands have ripped it off by now, pick one of them.

 

As for Milius, I'm still waiting for him to write and direct that Thor sequel that shamefully remains only in my dreams.

post #15 of 42
That looks like utter shit. I have a thing for the original but this looks bland as hell and come on, why did they have to put in some device that will let these kids actually win the war? And the main guy is a marine? Yeah big surprise.
post #16 of 42
Also from a review haha:

"(Loud cheers during the scene where the reporter says that the blue states have all surrendered and the red state gun owners are the only ones left to resist the North Korean invasion.) "
post #17 of 42

I spent several minutes confused thinking you guys were saying Fitler, like I missed the naming of some fictional north korean dictator. 
 

post #18 of 42

BTW, I'm sure many folks have read it by now, but if anyone wants to read Milius' Crown of Iron script, send me a tell.
 

post #19 of 42
Quote:
Originally Posted by John Matrix View Post

If only they hadn't pussied out and changed the villains from Chinese to North Koreans. I might would have believed a Chinese invasion.

Agreed.  NK can't keep the lights on at night nor feed it's people.  A Chinese/Russian combo would have been great. 

 

Might be worth seeing if Connor Cruise goes out in a hail of bullets like Jennifer Grey.  Kid gets the job because of daddy and is now a DJ.

 

Might be just me but I don't find Isabella Lucas attractive.

post #20 of 42

If only those North Koreans brought in more international box office grosses!!

post #21 of 42
Quote:
Originally Posted by Anyawatchin Angel View Post
 
Might be just me but I don't find Isabella Lucas attractive.

It's not just you, she looks like a walking, talking skeleton. Or maybe it's because she has a HUGE head.

 

700

post #22 of 42
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bitches Leave View Post

That looks like utter shit. I have a thing for the original but this looks bland as hell and come on, why did they have to put in some device that will let these kids actually win the war? And the main guy is a marine? Yeah big surprise.

Well, having the main character being a marine or any part of the armed forces does make sense.

post #23 of 42
How so you make a shitty trailer even shittier???? Just add some Filter in order to add some 'relevance'...you know, for the kids. Good fucking God was that bad.
post #24 of 42

Lucas looked pretty good in Transformers 2, but she was wearing really short shorts. I'm sure that helped.

 

Anyway, the numbers on the Total Recall remake should be enough for them to dump this on home video.

 

Maybe they could add some scenes with Channing Tatum?

post #25 of 42

This looks pretty bland but it isn't the sacrilege that some people make it out to be. The original is a Road House level of retardation so it's not like they have a masterpiece to live up to.

post #26 of 42
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ben W View Post

This looks pretty bland but it isn't the sacrilege that some people make it out to be. The original is a Road House level of retardation so it's not like they have a masterpiece to live up to.

 

 

John Milius is on his way to your house to beat the shit out of you. 

post #27 of 42
Quote:
Originally Posted by Chavez View Post

 

 

John Milius is on his way to your house to beat the shit out of you. 

I'll just throw a couple of old Soldier Of Fortune magazines at him and make my escape.

post #28 of 42

When the trailer cut abruptly about third in and played an ad I didn't mind.

post #29 of 42
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ben W View Post

I'll just throw a couple of old Soldier Of Fortune magazines at him and make my escape.

Milius - "I hear ya been talking shit about Red Dawn"

 

Ben W - "Ummm, a little bit, HEY my next-door neighbor is a gun-hating atheist - AND a registered Democrat." 

 

Milius - "WHAT?! You wait right here, I'll be back in 5 minutes." 

post #30 of 42

I did appreciate how a few years ago Milius said Rush Limbaugh should be slaughtered for advocating clemency for the Wall Street barons, who Milius said should be executed in the streets.
 

post #31 of 42
Quote:
Originally Posted by Barkatthemoon View Post

 

Maybe they could add some scenes with Channing Tatum?

 

In 3D!

post #32 of 42

 If the Filter was replaced with Night Ranger's You Can Still Rock in America, this flick would have my money.

post #33 of 42

In this day and age, this looks... uncomfortable.

 

Replace the Koreans with aliens or zombies and maybe I'll rent it. It's not too late to change them again!

post #34 of 42
Quote:
Originally Posted by John Matrix View Post

If only they hadn't pussied out and changed the villains from Chinese to North Koreans. I might would have believed a Chinese invasion.

 

I wouldn't.  How could China afford to invade and destroy their main source of income?

 

They should have gone extremely gonzo and made it a Canadian invasion!

 

Quote:
Originally Posted by Chavez View Post

Milius - "I hear ya been talking shit about Red Dawn"

 

Ben W - "Ummm, a little bit, HEY my next-door neighbor is a gun-hating atheist - AND a registered Democrat." 

 

Milius - "WHAT?! You wait right here, I'll be back in 5 minutes." 

 

Then once he realizes your ruse, just ask him how Vietnam would have gone if he were in charge.

post #35 of 42

Canadian invasion would have been ripe for hilarity.  You could show us burning down the white house(again), and show some Newfies water skiing off of the back of our tug boat battle cruisers.

post #36 of 42
Quote:
Originally Posted by S.D. Bob Plissken View Post

 

Then once he realizes your ruse, just ask him how Vietnam would have gone if he were in charge.

 

Nukes, nukes everywhere.

post #37 of 42

Back when Red Dawn first hit HBO, I watched it anytime it was on. I haven't seen it since, and don't have the desire too.

post #38 of 42

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BoM6IFiyRjE

 

The only Red Dawn clip you need.

post #39 of 42

I'm looking forward to this and part of the reason why is that the original had too much melodrama. It didn't earn its emotional moments, while they were well executed they felt so out of place. I mean, think about Red Dawn and try and come up with what the plot was. The answer is it didn't have one. The film was a montage of action scenes that occasionally decided to make things "real". If you ask me it was a bad move. We were sitting there watching a ridiculous '80s action flick that barely had a plot and suddenly the characters are crying and dying and you're like WTF? I just wanted to have fun, I didn't want the film to try and pull at my heart-strings. Sure, some films expertly weave action and drama together and earn their emotional pay-offs, The Dark Knight Rises being the most recent example, but Red Dawn wasn't one of them. So, in essence, I'd like to see a sillier, more fun version of the film we got and based on the trailer this could be it.

post #40 of 42
Quote:
Originally Posted by S.D. Bob Plissken View Post

 

I wouldn't.  How could China afford to invade and destroy their main source of income?

 

They should have gone extremely gonzo and made it a Canadian invasion!

 

Works for me, especially if it's like a cross between Canadian Bacon and South Park:Bigger,Longer,and Uncut.

post #41 of 42

Despite being made years and ago and shelved I have feeling that this won't be any different from everything from this year. So far it's turned out to be the year of the bland reboots and remakes with Total Recall, The Amazing Spider-Man and even Prometheus, Red Dawn looks bland at best and boring at worst. I just really hope and the red state riling up is hyperbole.

post #42 of 42

I agree on Total Recall and Spider-Man being bland but I love love love loved Prometheus!

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