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STAR WARS: EPISODE VII Pre-Release - Page 23

post #1101 of 12643

If they don't include Han Solo's cousin Thraken Sal-Solo (Harrison Ford with a beard) I won't be going to see this.

post #1102 of 12643

Whatever your stance on WookieE technology, or the lack there of, you have to at least admit they have mastered the complex art of the cookiE.

post #1103 of 12643
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jackson View Post

Whatever your stance on WookieE technology, or the lack there of, you have to at least admit they have mastered the complex art of the cookiE.


 

I can only imagine the Lucas has never seen these, otherwise Jar-Jar would have had a line: "Lookie-lookie a Wookiee cookie!"...

post #1104 of 12643

Funny you should mention that, It's in the deleted scenes which will be reinserted into the 3D Blu Ray special editions coming out next year.

 

"Meesa no likin da sprinkles, okey Day!  No moressa sprinklin da sprinkles on messa Wookiee cookies!"

post #1105 of 12643
Quote:
Originally Posted by The Dark Shape View Post


So the prequels are lazy for depending so much on the originals for suspense, but Return of the Jedi works because it can coast on Star Wars and The Empire Strikes Back?
'Kay.

 

The prequels are lazy.  So is Return of the Jedi.  I never said otherwise.  What I was doing was giving ROTJ a backhanded compliment I didn't also extend to the prequels.  And why should I?  For as much as we can see the mistakes of the PT first made in ROTJ, at least ROTJ was wrapping up a story we actually gave a shit about.  Is it essentially a final act stretched out to feature length... with a heavy dose of jokey muppet slapstick, and a generous dollop of "going through the motions"?  Sure.  But at least we cared how that story wrapped up, and the film featured some genuinely cool payoffs.

post #1106 of 12643

I'm just now catching up on the Yavin 4/Jedi Academy plot rumor...and it wouldn't surprise me if it turned out true.

 

Luke is the last Jedi, but there are still conflicts in the galaxy...what is he going to do, fight them all himself?  Training new candidates is the obvious next step.  And I'm sure Disney wouldn't mind seeing a bunch jedi running around like in the prequels, since those movies make assloads of money.

 

It's just the kind of thing I can totally see happening with these sequels...

post #1107 of 12643

Of course it will happen.  What kind of maniac would be banking on the public's desire to see a Star Wars movie without jedi?

post #1108 of 12643

Oh good, now a thread about the new movies has moved from arguing about the prequels to arguing about ROTJ! I can join back in!

 

Really the main reason the movie should be called "lazy" is because Lucas choose to have them take out the Death Star again. Overall though, I think it was only a slight step back in level. The Jabba stuff was fantastic, with great creature work. C'mon, complaining about Boba Fett's death is revisionist fan-wank. He's a minor character in Empire that really does nothing at all except lead Vader to Bespin. He remains a minor character in ROTJ.  Only through the mists of time has he become "the coolest character".

 

The Ewoks were a good idea really. Taking a small, untechnological, insigificant race and having them be the lynch-pin to taking down the empire was smart. If there's a problem with them, it's probably that they chose to make them look like Teddy Bears - most likely for the purpose of selling toys.

 

Meanwhile the Vader/Luke/Emporer plot wraps things up in a nice little bow. I remember a lot of complaint at the time of neutering Vader in the film, but I like how that all came out. It looks all the worse for the crappy prequels though. (Oops, said the P word.)

 

The ending is what it should've been. Good guys win, bad guys lose. Yeah!

 

Overall, I would put it a short step behind ANH and ESB, but far superior to those others movies that shall not be named.

 

And I call BS on the Yavin rumors.

post #1109 of 12643

Yavin rumors sound like crap - the reporter contacted some Star Wars fans for background and got confused.

post #1110 of 12643
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jackson View Post

 

Hey now, that's no way to be.  The original trilogy is still wonderful.

 

Whoops, dumb typo on my part. That should read ex-fanboy, as in bedsheets, books (not just books, the fucking technical manuals), toys, Taco Bell cups the whole nine yards. Even dragged all my friends to see Episode I on my 12th birthday and tried so very hard to convince myself I liked it. For the record, I still love 2 and 1/2 parts of the original trilogy and enjoy some of the expanded universe, I'm just well past the "must have all things Star Wars" phase.

post #1111 of 12643

I've been having fun with this game today.  My first attempt, with Whedon directing JGL from a Jane Espenson script, was a smash success.   My second, with Michael Bay directing Philip Seymour Hoffman from a Shyamalan script leaning on romance and comedy at the expense of the epic action, was...not.

post #1112 of 12643

That's awesome.  Unfortunately they did not like my entry very much.  I'm sorry, but Paul Verhoeven directing Tina Fey in Warren Ellis's Star Wars: A Fistful of Princesses would totally make more than 145 million domestic.

 

Edit- Although, now that I think about it, maybe it should be Alan Moore's A Fistful of Princesses.  Was he an option?

post #1113 of 12643
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by The Dark Shape View Post

I think all three prequels are better than Return of the Jedi. Have at me, fools. (Seriously, guys -- we're chatting about Star Wars. A little more fun, a little less GRRRRRR!!!)

Man, no way. The entire Jabba's palace sequence is more fun and solid than the entirety of the prequels.
post #1114 of 12643
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bailey View Post

That's awesome.  Unfortunately they did not like my entry very much.  I'm sorry, but Paul Verhoeven directing Tina Fey in Warren Ellis's Star Wars: A Fistful of Princesses would totally make more than 145 million domestic.

 

Edit- Although, now that I think about it, maybe it should be Alan Moore's A Fistful of Princesses.  Was he an option?

 

The name generator is so much fun.  Although I feel like once I slotted in Bay, there was no option.   Star Wars: Revenge of the Blasters will be blasting into theaters in May '18.

post #1115 of 12643
Quote:
Originally Posted by Stale Elvis View Post

If they don't include Han Solo's cousin Thraken Sal-Solo (Harrison Ford with a beard) I won't be going to see this.

A lot of the early EU stuff was great, before Lucas' prequel retconning detonated it all.

post #1116 of 12643

Thanks for killing my productivity, Schwartz. The Kaufmann-penned, Verhoeven-directed, Fassbender-starring "Star Wars Episode VII: Endless Princesses" was a critical flop that "wasted too much time on a b-plot romance". Still profited 100 mil, though. Back to the drawing board.

post #1117 of 12643

For some reason, pairing up wholly inappropriate writers and directors has been the funnest part for me.  Now I'm imagining what would happen if somehow (presumably because some Disney exec was having a continuous, undetected 14-month stroke) Michael Bay directed a Star Wars movie written by Miranda July.  And it is glorious.


Edited by Schwartz - 12/20/12 at 7:36pm
post #1118 of 12643

Supposedly, Paul Thomas Anderson should not write and direct a low-scale Star Wars action romance starring Phillip Seymour Hoffman called The Devil Bounties, which means that this machine is broken and not to be trusted.

post #1119 of 12643
I love how much time was spent debating the merits of one inferior film over three other inferior films.

/sidebar
post #1120 of 12643
I was just thinking of what a Star Wars movie written, directing and starring Lena Dunham would be like. I actually think I'd see it if it for the WTF quality it would be. Sort of like if Wes Anderson directed the reboot of Batman.
post #1121 of 12643

Meh, I call shenanigans.  "Again with the Twileks", written by Warren Ellis, directed by David Cronenberg and staring Michael Fassbender would make way more than $62 million on a $245 million budget! lol.

post #1122 of 12643

Dammit, I can't get that game up at work.

The Yavin rumour makes sense to me. It makes total sense that Luke would try to rebuild the Jedi order, and if you're wanting to establish the next generation of heroes you need at least one Jedi in the mix. Assuming it does indeed go with the OT crew in old age, it stands to reason that Luke and Leia would've had at leasdt one force-sensitive kid between them (Not together, mind... Maybe)

It also bolsters my theory that the new trilogy will be about a lightning-scar-foreheaded kid with prodigious power and a dark past who joins the Jedi academy, with Luke as his mentor and headmaster. This will create a franchise perfect storm that will allow Disney to finally buy the planet.

post #1123 of 12643
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jackson View Post

Meh, I call shenanigans.  "Again with the Twileks", written by Warren Ellis, directed by David Cronenberg and staring Michael Fassbender would make way more than $62 million on a $245 million budget! lol.

I would see the crap out of this movie! Though Fassbender would have to have a cool villian to battle knowing Cronenberg it probably be Viggo Mortensen and the romantic lead would hopefully be Rooney Mara.
post #1124 of 12643

Audiences turned away from my James Franco-directed, Michael Bay written and starring sci-fi epic.

post #1125 of 12643
post #1126 of 12643
Quote:
Originally Posted by brandhay View Post

Yep, those Yavin rumors were just fan speculation: http://www.theforce.net/latestnews/story/No_Reuters_Did_Not_Leak_Episode_VII_Plot_Info_149415.asp

 

The response from that journalist who made the claim in the first place is hilarious. "Yeah, someone showed me that it happens in a book but Disney hasn't said what they're doing, so obviously they're doing what's in the book even though it's a book. Hey, should I have mentioned I saw it in a book?"

I wonder if the guy's been working on The War Z. Spookily similar openness about one's own bullshit going on there.

post #1127 of 12643
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jackson View Post

Meh, I call shenanigans.  "Again with the Twileks", written by Warren Ellis, directed by David Cronenberg and staring Michael Fassbender would make way more than $62 million on a $245 million budget! lol.

 

I can't get anything with Cronenberg to make the big money. Not even when he's starring!

 

sidebar: what a Sith Lord he'd make!

post #1128 of 12643

Darth Skingraft

post #1129 of 12643

All behold the indie star wars romantic dramedy we've all been waiting for written by Charlie Kauffmann (probably co-written with Miranda July), Directed by Sofia Coppola and starring Miranda July in Star Wars: Again with the Midichlorians! In a box office smash with a 76 million opening weekend making a domestic gross of 285 million and a profit of 146 million! In a perfect world this would happen but yeah reality it wouldnt. 

 

My other more real world possibilty would be this:

 

Wrath of the Bounties written by JJ Abrams, Directed by Micheal Bay and starring Will Smith makes 93 million opening, 358 million domestic and 194 million profit.

 

I perfer the first one honestly though sad that Lena Dunham and Diablo Cody werent choices.

 

edit i was just messing a little more bur apparantly the best options happened to be a scripted star wars film by Jane Epensen, directed by M. Night Shyamalan, and starring Shia LaBeouf! WTF!

post #1130 of 12643

God dammit. I staked my entire producing career on Attack Of The Womp Rats. Kevin Smith had finally redeemed himself with this script, his best since Chasing Amy. Ridley was set to totally kill it, Prometheus style, in the director's chair. And most importantly, my boy M. Night was up front and center as the Sith Lord responsible for running over Luke Skywalker's wife with his SUV (in a flashback). 

 

It may have lost the entire $167.8 mil budget, but fuck it, that's what German tax loopholes are for. It was #1 in Bulgaria for 3 weeks. Put that on my tombstone.
 

post #1131 of 12643

Star Wars VII: Those Fabulous Trade Embargoes turned out to be a solid if slightly disappointing return for Paul Verhoeven, returning to direct an American film for the first time in years. Even with the benefit of Jeff Goldblum's scintillating script (Most-used word: 'Umm...') and Sofia Coppola returning to the apex of the acting game with her Oscar-worthy portrayal of Ka-Ka the Gungan Nerf Herder.

 

While the film soared to an $88m opening weekend, the Star Wars hype abated quickly and it eventually had to settle for a good, but well below the franchise's standard, take of $335m domestic.

 

Producers hope to do better with the next film due in 2017, Quentin Tarantino's Lando Calrissian-centric exploitation piece Star Wars VIII: Black Plasteel!

post #1132 of 12643
post #1133 of 12643
post #1134 of 12643

So it seems they are going traditional 'list' with directors...I'm sure JJ is near the top of every studio list for big tentpole films.  Kind of a clue into who they're looking at.  Who else is certainly on that list?  

 

Michael Bay

Gore Verbinski

Brad Bird

Sam Raimi

Joss Whedon

Peter Jackson

Christopher Nolan

David Yates

Ron Howard

Roland Emmerich

The Wachowskis (but they write their own material)

Robert Zemeckis

Justin Lin

Jon Favreau

M Night Shyamalan (writes his own material)

 

I don't think they're approaching the more offbeat directors this thread rumored about before (Duncan Jones, Matthew Vaughn, etc), it seems they're going for the hit makers.  I could be wrong...maybe they're mixing it up.

post #1135 of 12643

I told myself I wouldn't respond to this thread until we actually start learning shit about this movie, but seeing Raimi or Bird in the director's seat would make me j in my p.

 

Now I'll fuck off, to return when there's solid info for us to talk about.

post #1136 of 12643

A few of these strike me as completely implausible (well, maybe Bay is more plausible than I'd like to believe, but he's just so completely, self-evidently wrong for it that I can't imagine anyone is seriously considering him).

Quote:
Originally Posted by Ambler View Post

So it seems they are going traditional 'list' with directors...I'm sure JJ is near the top of every studio list for big tentpole films.  Kind of a clue into who they're looking at.  Who else is certainly on that list?  

 

Michael Bay:  has his own franchise and hyperkinetic style (which is his only strength) is utterly antithetical to that of Star Wars.  Also too expensive.

Gore Verbinski

Brad Bird

Sam Raimi:  has his fuck you money from Spiderman and probably doesn't want to commit to pilot another giant franchise machine, plus his sensibilities are a bit lurid for SW.  Also expensive

Joss Whedon: You can't helm the two biggest multimedia sci-fi uberfranchises at the same time.  Also expensive, although I think he's enough of a geek to practically do it for free if the scheduling weren't impossible

Peter Jackson

Christopher Nolan:  Could barely maintain interest in Batman as a character even while his movies were conquering the world.  The more overtly fantastical world and cut-and-dried morality of SW would not appeal to him even if he was interested in continuing with franchise filmmaking, which I think he's really done with.  Also incredibly expensive

David Yates

Ron Howard

Roland Emmerich

The Wachowskis (but they write their own material) - precisely; they'd never give up the degree of creative control necessary to work within this system even if Disney wanted to work with them, which I doubt.  Probably cheap now, though.

Robert Zemeckis

Justin Lin

Jon Favreau

M Night Shyamalan (writes his own material) :  The Last Airbender

 

I don't think they're approaching the more offbeat directors this thread rumored about before (Duncan Jones, Matthew Vaughn, etc), it seems they're going for the hit makers.  I could be wrong...maybe they're mixing it up.

 

The rest are all at least somewhat feasible, but I don't think Disney will be shelling out the big bucks to land a Jackson or Zemeckis.  As I went on at great length about in an old blog post, they know that the brand is the star, and a name director will not be a huge factor when it comes to putting butts in seats.


Edited by Schwartz - 12/28/12 at 12:47pm
post #1137 of 12643

Yeah I was sure half the list wouldn't even be a possibility, but wanted to list them for discussion.

post #1138 of 12643

In Abrams' own words he declined to be involved when they tried to bring him into early talks, which isn't the same as him being offered the job and turning it down even if the media seems determined to spin it that way.

 

I honestly don't think the director is going to matter all that much. They'll be hiring someone to shoot it after the story and script have already been in development for quite some time, so it'll go to go to someone who they think can just get in there and get the job done efficiently and with a minimum of fuss.

post #1139 of 12643
Del Toro would be a great choice in almost every aspect of a Starwars movie. Great at worldbuilding, great use of practical effects mixed with CG (no more 99% greenscreen, we would see actual live sets), great at creature design, good at injecting humor that actually makes you laugh and not shake your head in disbelief and good with the actors. Plus he's a huge geek who would pour his soul into it if he was given enough creative control.
post #1140 of 12643
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bitches Leave View Post

Del Toro would be a great choice in almost every aspect of a Starwars movie. Great at worldbuilding, great use of practical effects mixed with CG (no more 99% greenscreen, we would see actual live sets), great at creature design, good at injecting humor that actually makes you laugh and not shake your head in disbelief and good with the actors. Plus he's a huge geek who would pour his soul into it if he was given enough creative control.

 

 

I'd be cool with this, plus it would finally give him clout to get some of his cool ideas finally done, though I'd perfer Pacific Rim accomplish this for him honestly. I would love for him to finally get his visions of In the Mountains of Madness and Frankenstein to finally get made!

post #1141 of 12643
As much as some say it doesn't matter who directs this, it matters a hell of a lot when the final shot irires out to Directed by...

If this thing flys or stinks, the Star Wars films have the unenviable device of having the directors name directly after the final shot so you know who to either praise or blame for the past two hours.

The DIRECTED BY roughy translates into BLAME IT ON/THANK - so someone will have to be happy adding their name to the end of that.

And if they're not happy with the script then there's no way in hell we're getting a top flight director - we're more likely to get a DIRECTED BY JIMMY COMPETENT.
Edited by Stale Elvis - 12/28/12 at 6:06pm
post #1142 of 12643

I don't feel like Matthew Vaughn is that far-fetched--he's the sort of journeyman geek director who seems well suited to this kind of thing, and he already has a relationship with Disney through Marvel...
 

post #1143 of 12643
I fucking hated Stardust with a passion. But I seem to be the only person in the world to do so, so I guess you'll all rejoice if he gets the gig.
post #1144 of 12643

Didn't Mark Millar already confirm Vaughn is not directing this?

post #1145 of 12643
Quote:
Originally Posted by Stale Elvis View Post

I fucking hated Stardust with a passion. But I seem to be the only person in the world to do so, so I guess you'll all rejoice if he gets the gig.


I didn't like it much. Thought it missed the point of the book rather badly. But I still like Vaughn as a director sometimes.

post #1146 of 12643
Honestly didn't know there was a book - went into it completely blind.

Thought it was mediocre but the word on the street and Internet and a lot of my friends was it was the best thing in the history of ever.

What a fucking sham.

Looked ok. Directed competently. Internal magic/logic had no boundaries or limitations.
post #1147 of 12643
Thread Starter 

I have a weird feeling Gore walks away with this.

post #1148 of 12643
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ambler View Post

Didn't Mark Millar already confirm Vaughn is not directing this?

 

Mark Millar's word = Made up bullshit.

post #1149 of 12643

I'm still fuming at the fact that I never got my David Lynch directed 'Return of the Jedi'...oh, the possibilities.

 

post #1150 of 12643
Quote:
Originally Posted by Graham View Post

I'm still fuming at the fact that I never got my David Lynch directed 'Return of the Jedi'...oh, the possibilities.

 

 

Given how much creative freedom that Lucas probably would have let him have, I doubt it would have been that different from what we got.

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