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First heartbreak - Page 2  

post #51 of 144

700

"...she gave me a blowjob & we ended up dating for a year. Later, I found out that she was fucking a piano player the whole time. I was 9."

 

 

700

"Fucking...gross."

post #52 of 144

Lauren, you're trolling. Consider yourself on notice.

post #53 of 144
Quote:
Originally Posted by LaurenOrtega View Post

Admittedly Boreddaily and Hotsplice haven't shown up yet to post pictures while jacking off and choking themselves with a belt.

 

BUT WE STILL HAVE TIME!

 

Fret not! In the event that Boreddaily is indisposed at the moment, surely a kind soul could simply google "bleached girl asshole* and post the first 5 results. It would likely be the same as his real contribution and be the right kind of classy ending this thread deserves. 

post #54 of 144
Quote:
Originally Posted by stelios View Post

Lauren, you're trolling. Consider yourself on notice.

Why is Lauren the only one singled out when a bunch of us have pretty much declared this thread gross?
post #55 of 144

Because this is not the first thread she had this behavior in. You at least try to make an argument longer than two sentences, if what she contributes can be called one, every once in a while. Do you want to "fight the power" alongside her?

post #56 of 144

If Stelios wants to ban me because I think this thread is gross and the guys posting their stories about the women(and 8 year olds) who broke their hearts be my guest!

 

Any forum that would rather ban me over Gabe T can be my guest.

post #57 of 144
Quote:
ecause this is not the first thread she had this behavior in. You at least try to make an argument longer than two sentences, if what she contributes can be called one, every once in a while. Do you want to "fight the power" alongside her?

 

Stelios is the guy really fighting the power here!

 

Well if it's Jennifer Hepler.

post #58 of 144
Quote:
Originally Posted by stelios View Post

Because I don't like her.

Gotcha.
post #59 of 144

post #60 of 144

I do not want to ban you. I like you. If I wanted to ban you I'd have done it for you making a thread simply to shit on another member. But all you've been doing lately is going into threads and declaring everything lame in as few words as possible. You have grievances? State them like an adult.

post #61 of 144
This simply isn't true. And if you ban her because of that line of thinking, then fuck you and fuck this place for letting you.
post #62 of 144
Quote:
Any forum that would rather ban me over Gabe T can be my guest.

 

Is frequently lying a bannable offense? I'm honestly curious. The fact that he disappeared after being called out by "Jake" is pretty much an admission that his earlier post was complete horseshit. 

post #63 of 144
Quote:
Originally Posted by Workyticket View Post

 

Wait, I think I know how this one ends... Twenty years later, you had to watch her write Twilight and become a squillionaire?

more like 50 Shade of Gray... 

post #64 of 144
Because acting like an adult is rampant in this ridiculous thread.
post #65 of 144
Quote:
Originally Posted by Parker View Post

This simply isn't true. And if you ban her because of that line of thinking, then fuck you and fuck this place for letting you.

 

Lauren can speak for herself.

post #66 of 144
Quote:
Originally Posted by stelios View Post

Lauren can speak for herself.

Yeah. She can. And I can speak for me.
post #67 of 144

I cannot wait to see what kind of serious as a heart attack thread Harford spins out of this one.

post #68 of 144
Quote:
Originally Posted by Parker View Post

How come nobody's first heartbreak involves them breaking a girls heart but is always what's being done to you? 

 

Senior year in high school.  I sort of got my heart broken when my girlfriend of 2 years ended up breaking up with me so she could date some redneck.  Eh, I was looking to end it with her anyways considering I was a year older, and about to go to college.  So, the rest of the year I spent just having fun.  Thing is, my cousin found out my GF broke up with me, and she wanted me to date her friend. I went on a double date with them, and she wan't my type... but she was really into me.  She kept calling me up, and I just always blew her off.  Finally, i agreed to go to some stupid "teen club" with her one friday.  Thing is, I forgot when the day came.  She drove 45 minutes to this club, and called me from inside wondering where I was.  I picked up the phone and instead of telling her I forgot, I pretended like I was there.  Telling her to meet me by the bathrooms... then by the bar... then by the entrance.  Finally I stopped picking up the phone.  My cousin told me that she was crying her eyes out for days that I stood her up.  

 

Karma is a bitch.  Just read my story about my ex wife.  

post #69 of 144
Quote:
Lauren can speak for herself

 

Assuming Parker's speaking up to protect me.

 

Classy.

 

 

 

Quote:
But all you've been doing lately is going into threads and declaring everything lame in as few words as possible. You have grievances? State them like an adult.

 

 

Aside from the fact that a look at my history shows that's not true, I find the notion that my complaints about a thread rife with barely concealed misogyny needs to be some well-thought out mini-essay to be patently absurd.

 

 

The thread's gross, a lot of the threads dealing with women on this site are absolutely gross, and I don't think I need to sum it up any more than "Buncha cuntwhores broke my heart."


Edited by LaurenOrtega - 12/30/12 at 4:34pm
post #70 of 144

My God, an innocent thread that began with Ambler relaying the heart warming story (that he retold to his mother and father) of how he caught his girlfriend giving some guy a blowjob at the back of a store has devolved into this!


Edited by Cylon Baby - 12/30/12 at 3:40pm
post #71 of 144

I also broke my former best friends heart by screwing his ex girlfriend 2 days after they broke up.  

post #72 of 144

I just want to hear more stories of heartbreak by Fabfunk (stories that don't involve any eight year olds)
 

post #73 of 144

I've cheered every Lauren post in this creepy/pathetic thread. The ban threat is way out of line, Stelios. Maybe you're embarrassed you participated perhaps?

post #74 of 144
Thread Starter 

My, my, my...what a mess.  Honestly how can people get through a Simpsons/Family Guy episode if they can't even stomach this thread?

 

The problem is the thread is (or was) about 'first heartbreak'...generally that stuff happens at a fairly young age, so the details were bound to get childish, silly, retarded, offensive...pick your term.  We're dealing with kids.  The first girl who broke my heart happened to do it via blowjob...honestly that little detail never bothered me because I was too hurt to get caught up in specifics.  Looking back on it now, I think it's kind of funny.  If I'd known it was going to offend people...well my parents laughed about it, I guess they're weird (and I never used the word, I just kind of said 'she was on her knees' through gritted teeth and only after being pressed to explain exactly what happened).

 

I can objectively dish about that stuff from an older perspective now, and it was nice to remember a time when life was simpler, no matter how retarded.  I don't think recounting it automatically blows (ha) the lid off some imaginary PC code that hovers over the board.  If I'd gone into detail about it, then it would be a different story.  In the first post, it was barely even mentioned and the word blowjob was never even used.

 

IMO, there are far worse things going on at CHUD than this.  The thread was created on a whim and done so completely harmlessly...is it misogynistic because you happen to be a straight guy recounting stories of girls who hurt you?  I think going into a tirade about how much of a bitch she is and how women are no good, etc, would be more in line with misogyny.  So far I've not seen that, and I certainly never alluded to it.  Is some of this thread in bad taste?  Maybe, but CHUD more often than not straddles that line...and if it's a line people aren't comfortable with, then why even visit the forum?  If I'd known it was going to become "ew, you guys are gross for recounting stories of gross, stupid kids you knew way back when", then I...well, I would rather avoid that.  

 

And as a general rule I stay out of threads that bother me.  Why waste the effort?

post #75 of 144

Ambler's post is totally "I had a thing with a girl! Then I caught her blowing some other dude in the back of an arcade but I didn't say anything because I was a fucking nice guy!"

 

Actually Ambler not having any idea about how a post can be construed as misogynist is kinda hilarious.

post #76 of 144
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ambler View Post 

  We're dealing with kids. 

 

We're not though. We're all adults. And that's why I find this thread kinda disgusting. Heartbreak is a real thing, don't get me wrong, but I'm under the impression that adults shouldn't have a dick measuring contest about how hurt they've been in the past, especially when they're detailing stories about being really young, and especially when virtually every story involves a woman or young girl doing something horrible to them. 

 

Yes, you have the right to post this shit. And I have the right to tell you to grow the hell up.

And anyway, Jacob pretty much wins with his post about his wife. Like, can anyone honestly top that? And he did it with one sentence. Thread over.
 

post #77 of 144

Also there's like a dozen fucking awful threads on CHUD! Starting with the boob thread then working all the way through the sex threads in general.

 

I mean unless it's absolutely important that "Yes I jerk off to Christina Hendricks" is shared with the entire world.

post #78 of 144

I have trouble doing that to her.  I just get visions of her head getting blown off in Drive.  Ruins the entire fantasy

post #79 of 144

The problem with this thread is it's all but impossible to contribute without coming off like a creepy stalkerish asshole, especially since most of the stories boil down to " yeah some stupid cunt utilized her free will and decided to be with someone other than me! How could she?!" I'm not saying anyone here is that by the way but that's how it reads. The posts in here are also abnormally...long and detailed. You shouldn't be that obsessed with something that happened over a decade or two ago.  

post #80 of 144

Or what happened to you as an 8-year old. Which totally didn't really happen but Gabe reached that moment in the week where he couldn't resist using the words "slut" and "whore."

post #81 of 144
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Parker View Post

 

We're not though. We're all adults. And that's why I find this thread kinda disgusting. Heartbreak is a real thing, don't get me wrong, but I'm under the impression that adults shouldn't have a dick measuring contest about how hurt they've been in the past, especially when they're detailing stories about being really young, and especially when virtually every story involves a woman or young girl doing something horrible to them. 

 

Yes, you have the right to post this shit. And I have the right to tell you to grow the hell up.

And anyway, Jacob pretty much wins with his post about his wife. Like, can anyone honestly top that? And he did it with one sentence. Thread over.
 

 

Hmmm...yeah, I don't think it's a dick measuring contest, and I don't find the posts to be malicious or hateful (except for maybe Gabe's, but I honestly didn't know whether he was serious or not).  If anything the posts I made indicated that I was young, inexperienced and generally not capable of being adult about my reactions.  I admitted it.  I don't see what else is needed to justify stuff like that to people here.  I guess it boils down to not agreeing...which is fine, but like I said, why even waste your time?

post #82 of 144

When I was 3 I was rilly into this hot chick and she knew I liked her but one day I found her BLOWING this Hasidic Jew in back of the Kindergarden and he splooged all over that Beeotch's face! When I told my parents about it they LOL'd hard. Now I hate Jews.

post #83 of 144
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by LaurenOrtega View Post

Or what happened to you as an 8-year old. Which totally didn't really happen but Gabe reached that moment in the week where he couldn't resist using the words "slut" and "whore."

 

I think that's where things got messy...like I said, I didn't know what to make of Gabe's story.  It seemed like it might be a joke, but I didn't really feel like pressing him on it.

 

Besides that, everyone else's posts seemed relatively harmless.  And I think since CHUD is like 99% male, it's easy for a thread like this to feel like a pile on against women.  I can't stop assholes from contributing to something I created on a harmless whim either.  

post #84 of 144
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by LaurenOrtega View Post

Ambler's post is totally "I had a thing with a girl! Then I caught her blowing some other dude in the back of an arcade but I didn't say anything because I was a fucking nice guy!"

 

Actually Ambler not having any idea about how a post can be construed as misogynist is kinda hilarious.

 

What is misogynistic about my post?

post #85 of 144

Seriously?

 

You guys are all fucking cunts.

post #86 of 144
Quote:
"I had a thing with a girl! Then I caught her blowing some other dude in the back of an arcade but I didn't say anything because I was a fucking nice guy!"

 

 

I mean it doesn't even read like a "dumb kid" post. Unless you happened to be a dumb kid for letting some Jezebel ruin your innocence!

post #87 of 144

Also LOL Gabe getting all pissed.

post #88 of 144
I''ve seen horrors... horrors that you've seen. But you have no right to call me a misogynist.. You have a right to kill me. You have a right to do that... but you have no right to judge me. It's impossible for words to describe what is necessary to those who do not know what horror means. Horror... Horror has a face... and you must make a friend of horror. Horror and moral terror are your friends. If they are not, then they are enemies to be feared. They are truly enemies! I remember when I was eight years old. It seems a thousand centuries ago. I loved a girl but like all girls she wanted a man to abuse her and call her names. I was a nice guy so I didn't do that. He called her slut. She laughed. And I remember... I... I... I cried, I wept like some grandmother. I wanted to tear my teeth out; I didn't know what I wanted to do! And I want to remember it. I never want to forget it... I never want to forget. And then I realized... like I was shot... like I was shot with a diamond... a diamond bullet right through my forehead. And I thought, my God... the genius of that! The genius! The will to do that! Perfect, genuine, complete, crystalline, pure. And then I realized women were weaker than we, because they could stand that these were not monsters, these were men. These men who were douchebags, who had dirty words, who had poor taste in clothing, who were filled with hate... but they had the strength... the strength... to do that. If I had ten divisions of those men, I would have a girlfriend now. You have to have men who are assholes and at the same time who are able to utilize their primordial instincts to be jerks to women... without passion... without judgment... without judgment! Because it's judgment that defeats us.
post #89 of 144

Lauren, you're a terrible human being. I keep waiting for you to make up for it by being funny. That hope dies every day.

 

The rest of you, haven't we wasted enough energy here? What are some of you even talking about? The thread's "First Heartbreak," not "Ranking Our Heartbreaks" or "Discussing Our Lowest Moments Ever." it's about a bunch of dudes gathering around and telling most-likely lame stories about their past. Then some loser has to come in and start comparing or critiquing them, because... there's just that much time in the day, I guess.

 

If you fucks don't like it, start more fucking threads about MOVIES.

post #90 of 144
Quote:
Originally Posted by Gabe T View Post

Lauren, you're a terrible human being. I keep waiting for you to make up for it by being funny. 

 

The idea that you, a confirmed pathological liar/sociopath, are lobbing that claim at another poster here is astounding. There really aren't any words. I think we should all just bask in the irony for a moment. 

post #91 of 144

Oh shit! GABE T CALLED ME AN AWFUL HUMAN BEING! HOW WILL I LIVE WITH MYSELF?!!

 

 

Oh wait it's Fabfunk! LOL!

post #92 of 144

Sorry we find your made up sounding story about how an eight year old girl broke your heart by hanging out with the cooler guy who treated her like a dick pathetic and called you out on it in a public forum, dude. If you really feel so precious and sanctimonious about that kind of thing, maybe you ought to keep it private.

 

This thread is like a non self-aware Bellflower. 

post #93 of 144

Oi Gabe.

 

You're a dickcunt.

 

Just dropped back in to let you know.

 

Okay, bye y'all.

post #94 of 144
Thread Starter 
Quote:
"I had a thing with a girl! Then I caught her blowing some other dude in the back of an arcade but I didn't say anything because I was a fucking nice guy!"

 

Quote:
Originally Posted by LaurenOrtega View Post

I mean it doesn't even read like a "dumb kid" post. Unless you happened to be a dumb kid for letting some Jezebel ruin your innocence!

 

Oh yes, I was a dumb kid.  Very dumb.  And naive, and shallow and scared and sensitive.  

 

Maybe I'm being hyper anal about this, but there's nothing in what I wrote to indicate misogyny.  Do you know what that word means?  A hatred or general dislike of women.  I spoke of one girl, who did one thing to upset me.  It was an isolated anecdote that did not contain hidden insinuations about the female gender.  Are you really upset about that?  Or are am I being lumped in with what Gabe posted?

post #95 of 144

thread needs more fags instead of whores

post #96 of 144

What makes everyone think the story I posted was a lie? And what makes anyone think I was ever a liar? If you have an issue with this, you can either PM me, or turn CHUD into 4chan.

 

You guys are SUPER obsessed with my past. Seriously, I read posts like the ones above and I imagine you guys with fucking scrapbooks of me, memories I was never aware existed.

 

Odo, Calling me a sociopath? Seriously. Drop your tone a bit.

 

Lauren, contribute to these boards constructively, please. Your act is boring.

 

Whiteboy Jones, a thousand posts and I don't even know who you are. Glad you seem like an expert on me.

 

Parker, you're better than that.

 

There have been SO MANY people lately coming into threads to condemn them, but not nearly enough new threads created by these people replacing these threads. Maybe this should be fixed?

post #97 of 144

Ambler, it's the idea of a bunch of dudes circle jerking about pain that happened a long time ago without bothering to mention anything shitty or awful they might have done. It's a fucking pity party. It's kinda weird and since virtually every story involves a young woman who cheated on the dude telling the story (or worse, in Gabe's case), the collective take away from people who choose not to share this kind of thing with strangers on the internet is pretty fucking distasteful. "Look at what this girl did to me, boo-hoo." I don't know how else to put it other than that.

 

I'm sorry you all got your heartbroken. We've all been there. It's a human thing. Do you still hold onto that pain? Because if you do, I think that's weird. And if you don't, I don't understand the point of this thread. At all. 

post #98 of 144

Perhaps re-title this thread "First Heartbreak (That I Still Remember Vividly, Though It No Longer Haunts Me Because I'm An Adult)."

post #99 of 144

Originally Posted by Gabe T View Post

 

Whiteboy Jones, a thousand posts and I don't even know who you are.

 

Aw, Gabe. After all those CHUD chats? Now I've had MY first heartbreak.

 

frown.gif

 

Okay, for realz all. Peace out.

post #100 of 144

I'm more concerned Ambler decided to relate this incident to his family over Christmas, because that's just weird to me.
 

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