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Monday night fun: hate email

post #1 of 38
6/2/03 at 11:50pm
Thread Starter 
As many of you know, I haven't been so active on the site lately (or even on the boards) however, my past work is still available to see.

Anywho, I did a rather snippy review on "Don't Torture a Duckling" a loooong while ago (sorry all you diehard Fulci fans out there, but I just. Didn't. Like it) and apparently some people can't get over the fact that I hated a Fulci classic... happy reading! This shit's fuckin' funny

From :
AMICUZ1000@wmconnect.com
To :
girlcreeture@creature-corner.com
Subject :
dont torture a duckiling ...bitch
Date :
Mon, 2 Jun 2003 22:24:53 EDT

u r such a dumb bitch how can u sit there and dog fulci fucking classic dont torture a duckling ...man u people wouldnt know horror if it slapped u in yals bitch ass faces.....r yal even fans of horror its hard to tell when i visit this crappy site. u want to c real reviews by someone who knows their horror go visit arrow in the head and take a few notes bitch bc u need some schooling.
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post #2 of 38
6/3/03 at 12:09am
Pizza Kid?
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post #3 of 38
6/3/03 at 12:13am
I think u r a great reviewer Girlcreeture and yals knows your horror just fine!
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post #4 of 38
6/3/03 at 12:17am
Quote:
Subject : dont torture a duckiling ...bitch
This made me crack up.

Gotta hand it to him/her. That message is quite articulate for a Fulci fan.

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post #5 of 38
6/3/03 at 12:33am
This guy was on a hate streak tonight!

I got one from the very same guy regarding my "Jason X" review tonight. It's been a long time since I've gotten any hate mail. And gosh, when I usually get it it's regarding that pesky "Jason X" review.

The "gothic ass fairy" thing had me howling since I'm far from that. Read on...

hey bitch somtimes i wonder if u people r even fans of horror every time i read one of ur reviews all u do is dog it ..like jason x for example u said it was gutter trash u show no respect for the series that put horror on the map. i mean its people like u that i cant stand jason x was just a good time and a fun ride. i liked it and a lot of other people did to bc it was a lil diffrent. paying people say good things about it ..who the hell pays u to say this trash oh wait u r trash ...ur review sucked u suck u r gutter trash. and u look like a gothic ass fairy.

Here's my reply. And please, no one take this seriously, it was directed specifically to this wanker...

Listen,

What I can't stand is pussy-ass horror geeks like you who dig up old "Jason X" reviews and try to defend its absolute retarded entertainment value. The movie had a chance to rise above its dire history and failed miserably. If you had the balls to read the rest of our reviews you'll see that what we hate, we hate and what we like, we really like. But reading other reviews outside films about some moron in a hockey mask is a bit beyond you, huh? Looking before the 1980s for horror is a tad too much, is it? The Jason series put horror on the map? Someone needs a little re-education in horror history.

Thanks for checking out the site.

RRotten

p.s. - Learn how to fuckin' type, please.
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post #6 of 38
6/3/03 at 12:33am
um Fulci sux yo, an yo momma does too biaiaohuhohzzzyeetch, haw, haw.
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post #7 of 38
6/3/03 at 12:40am
Duckling was obscenely bad. And people call Star Wars apologists geeky...
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post #8 of 38
6/3/03 at 12:41am
Is it just me or do the people who send hate mail to web sites (all of them that I have seen so far) have the intelligence of a freaking jelly bean.

Not that I have anything against jelly beans. They are quite tasty. I apologize to jelly beans for this unfair (to them) comparison.

But these letters - jeesh.

"I have a valid point to make, and to do it I will insult you and appear homophobic, genophobic and illiterate, so that I am taken seriously."
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post #9 of 38
6/3/03 at 12:54am
I thought Edgar Allan Poe put horror on the map of entertainment, but I could be wrong. Would Alighieri Dante or John Milton count as horror writers? Who was the first known author of horror?
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post #10 of 38
6/3/03 at 12:57am
St John the Divine. "The Revelations"
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post #11 of 38
6/3/03 at 12:57am
What cracks me up, and this happens all the time, is now I'll get a response from this limp pecker saying, "When I see you at a con I'm gonna beat you up!" Then they see me...and they put their tail between their legs and run.

Dipshits. Gotta love 'em.
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post #12 of 38
6/3/03 at 1:38am
The ideal response to this kind of hate mail is:

"Dear Sir/Madam,

You = cunt. Hope this helps!

Sincereley,

blahblahblah"
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post #13 of 38
6/3/03 at 1:39am
As an aside I do think that "Duckling" is Fulci's best film... Not that that's saying much.

Kind of slow in parts, but it has one of the strongest endings to any giallo flick. Profoundly disturbing.

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post #14 of 38
6/3/03 at 2:11am
Quote:
Pizza Kid?
That was my first thought but somehow I doubt he has ever heard of Fulci. My guess is that these are written by someone who is normally rather intelligent but who was very very drunk.
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post #15 of 38
6/3/03 at 2:46am
I just want to say this is fun stuff. I wish I had some horrible email to share

---------------
Edited cuz I'm an idiot.

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post #16 of 38
6/3/03 at 2:54am
I'm guessing this guy hit the both of you tonight (how 'bout it Johnny, did you get one too?) in an attempt to drum up some sort of interest in his website. (Whose name I won't repeat, which he mentions in his email to Girlcreeture.)

The style, spelling and attitude are too over-the-top, white-trash hick to be sincere (or taken seriously). You can practically read the accent. This has the distinct odor of someone attempting to start something, or a practical joke, and not really some West Virginia inbred wink picking two obvious stinkers to ardently defend in the lowest syntax and grammar possible.

And before you ask, no, it wasn't me...

And if they are sincere, as the cop in 25th Hour might say, "SHIIIIIIT..."
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post #17 of 38
6/3/03 at 2:56am
... wouldn't it be creepy if you somehow traced those "hate emails" back to your own computer . . . .
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post #18 of 38
6/3/03 at 3:21am
Quote:
Werewolf Gurl:
Quote:
Pizza Kid?
That was my first thought but somehow I doubt he has ever heard of Fulci. My guess is that these are written by someone who is normally rather intelligent but who was very very drunk.
It was just the running elipses and the host of "yall"s. Maybe they teach this form of grammar in schools now, who am I to say?
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post #19 of 38
6/3/03 at 3:33am
Maybe he's regressing.
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post #20 of 38
6/3/03 at 4:03am
Quote:
Boys #22: elmie:
... wouldn't it be creepy if you somehow traced those "hate emails" back to your own computer . . . .
Get out of the house now!! The email is coming from inside the house!!!!!

"Have you checked the computer lately?"
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post #21 of 38
6/3/03 at 4:54am
Gothic ass fairy? What could THAT possibly mean? Trying to hurt, the dumbest way?

Anyway when someone is that stupid, I take their hatred as a compliment.
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post #22 of 38
6/3/03 at 8:04am
Nope, I am free from the moron, unfortunately. Usually when I get stuff like that, it's deleted before it's I finish reading it. Some people find the use if "u" instead of "you" annoying, I flat-out cannot stand it, so if he he would've wrote to me (and why didn't he, I wonder?), he'd have been circularly filed.

And Ryan, to be honest, I've always thought you were a gothic-ass fairy (or is it gothic ass-fairy?). I'm sorry.

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post #23 of 38
6/3/03 at 8:22am
Experience tells me this fuckstitch is genuine. I've spent ten years editing magazines - this guy is actually above the curve for complaint-writing literacy levels.
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post #24 of 38
6/3/03 at 8:42am
The funniest part, to me, is that after sending off those e-mails he probably said to him/herself, "Boy, I showed them!"

Anyone want to take bets on whether this douche thinks "ICP RULZZZ!!!11!!!1" ?

fuX0rz
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post #25 of 38
6/3/03 at 9:04am
Quote:
Starving Dog:
Is it just me or do the people who send hate mail to web sites (all of them that I have seen so far) have the intelligence of a freaking jelly bean.

Not that I have anything against jelly beans. They are quite tasty. I apologize to jelly beans for this unfair (to them) comparison.
LOL, this made my day.
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post #26 of 38
6/3/03 at 10:26am
Quote:
Johnny Butane:
Nope, I am free from the moron, unfortunately. Usually when I get stuff like that, it's deleted before it's I finish reading it. Some people find the use if "u" instead of "you" annoying, I flat-out cannot stand it, so if he he would've wrote to me (and why didn't he, I wonder?), he'd have been circularly filed.

And Ryan, to be honest, I've always thought you were a gothic-ass fairy (or is it gothic ass-fairy?). I'm sorry.
Or use "bc" instead of typing out "because." That one boggled my mind for a good couple seconds.

If I have to be some kind of gothic ass fairy I guess I'd choose "gothic ass-fairy": I'm the meanest mofo in town with demon wings who hands out young, tight gothic asses to all the little girls in tight black dresses. Tattoos and all, I've got a variety of asses to deal out.

But only if you're good.

And to address The Inspector's theory: nah, the Arrow is a cool cat. He wouldn't do this, but he does have a following. Either way, this is just more hate e-mail for the fire...
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post #27 of 38
6/3/03 at 10:31am
Thread Starter 
Ryan's name has now become synonymous with the term "gothic ass-fairy" >shiver<

I never respond to this sort of drivel. Every once in a while I get an intelligent email either agreeing or disagreeing with something I've said and I'll reply, but the randumb griping I ignore.

This one had me going though, it's been a while since I've seen something this fucking hysterically ridiculous come through my email.

It's up there with the spam touting subject lines of "If it were BIGGER she'd have stayed"...
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post #28 of 38
6/3/03 at 11:09am
I heard she would.
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post #29 of 38
6/3/03 at 12:40pm
What are you people complaining about? All you got was hate mail. I may actually get physically killed by the person who sent me hate mail! From what I've been told, the guy who made CREMAINS is going to be making a new movie down here on the Mississippi Gulf Coast and apparently my #1 fan Debbie Rochon is going to be one of the stars. I'm tempted to track her down and get a picture taken with her and write as they go to snap the picture I'll tell her I was the guy who the online review of BOG CREATURES where he called your acting "sub-porno level." Should make for a great pic. Of course, it will probably be the last thing I ever do in my life. Probably best to lay low the next few weeks and hope she doesn't know what I look like.

Oh, I have to disagree with The Inspector (again) and say those emails are the real thing. If you don't believe people write like that all the time then I dare you to check out the message board at E! Online. They should call the language they write in E!bonics because it certainly isn't English. eek!

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post #30 of 38
6/3/03 at 1:25pm
OMGAOL!!! 7H@7 D00DZ WUZ S0 L337 BCZ FULCI IZ 0VARCL0C|<3D, Y0!!F4!!
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post #31 of 38
6/3/03 at 1:42pm
I was just telling Ryan how "untouchable" he was - 'No one disagrees with the mighty Ryan Rotten'!

Whoops!

Girlcreeture on the other hand - very touchable. Sorry, Johnny.

Would Foywonder disagree with The Inspector about the color of the sky? I think so.
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post #32 of 38
6/3/03 at 1:50pm
Here's an idea, just reply to him with this link
<a href="http://dictionary.reference.com/" target="_blank">http://dictionary.reference.com/</a>
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post #33 of 38
6/3/03 at 2:13pm
Quote:
Would Foywonder disagree with The Inspector about the color of the sky? I think so.
I think not.
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post #34 of 38
6/3/03 at 4:07pm
Norm MacDonald had his theory that German people like David Hasselhoff.

Evidently people who have trouble spelling words such as "you", like the movies of Lucio Fulci.
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post #35 of 38
6/3/03 at 5:23pm
Heh. Ryan's response was *great*.

My personal favorite bit of hate email--and remember, this was in response to a FANTASY novel written for CHILDREN--went something like this (paraphrased slightly): "i like your book untill u had the caracters use MAGIC. We all no that MAGIC is the work of the DEVIL. the only real power come from THE LORD JESUS CRIST (*I'm serious...she spelled Christ's name wrong*). U r obvously a terribile person and you will BURN IN HELL FUCKER. I will pray for u, Sarah."

I loved that email so much. Something about the misspelling of Christ's name, the random capitalization, and then the sudden "Fucker" at the end...just priceless.
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post #36 of 38
6/3/03 at 6:10pm
Quote:
Slater Cancels Christmas:
Heh. Ryan's response was *great*.

My personal favorite bit of hate email--and remember, this was in response to a FANTASY novel written for CHILDREN--went something like this (paraphrased slightly): "i like your book untill u had the caracters use MAGIC. We all no that MAGIC is the work of the DEVIL. the only real power come from THE LORD JESUS CRIST (*I'm serious...she spelled Christ's name wrong*). U r obvously a terribile person and you will BURN IN HELL FUCKER. I will pray for u, Sarah."

I loved that email so much. Something about the misspelling of Christ's name, the random capitalization, and then the sudden "Fucker" at the end...just priceless.
Especially like the juxtapositioning of the "BURN IN HELL FUCKER" with the "I'll pray for u." Split personality or what?
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post #37 of 38
6/3/03 at 8:15pm
That is brilliant stuff, Slater, you should've printed and framed that! Although I do agree that you will burn in hell, I can't say it's because you wrote about magic.

No apologies, Hellboy, you're very much correct.
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post #38 of 38
6/4/03 at 11:24am
Well, as long as people are sharing hate mail...

I work for a radio station here in Ohio, and hate mail is par for the course. I tend to get a bit more since I program the local music show out here. And anyone who thinks musicians are geniuses, think again... an e-mail I got:

Quote:
RE: (band name)

play (band name) u faggot
Best part? the e-mail address scott@(band name)music.com

Way to work that PR machine!
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