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The All-Purpose "Nuke Florida From Orbit" Thread

post #1 of 302
Thread Starter 
post #2 of 302

At least he isn't illegally creating executive orders to bomb Syria. 

post #3 of 302
Thread Starter 

All you're after is discussion! You're just a free thinker!

post #4 of 302
Quote:
Originally Posted by Merriweather View Post
 

All you're after is discussion! You're just a free thinker!

 

And you're after nuking an entire state. 

post #5 of 302
Thread Starter 

From orbit. Don't forget that part!

post #6 of 302

This is starting to become too much. Block button, everybody.

post #7 of 302
Quote:
Originally Posted by Merriweather View Post
 

From orbit. Don't forget that part!

 

I really am not in favor of nuking Disney World from any vantage point.

post #8 of 302
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mangy View Post
 

This is starting to become too much. Block button, everybody.

 

It's a good thing you're all part of a herd, then. 

post #9 of 302
Thread Starter 

I think the banhammer would be more appropriate.

post #10 of 302
Quote:
Originally Posted by Merriweather View Post
 

I think the banhammer would be more appropriate.

 

Of course you would, someone disagrees with your world views!

post #11 of 302

If Gamera replied to me, please note that I just said I blocked you. I bet he did. He did, didn't he?

post #12 of 302
Thread Starter 

TzuDohNim disagrees with my worldviews in almost every way. He's one of the funnest guys to talk to on here. Closer and Cylon Baby are two guys who I've spent hours arguing with. I would never advocate banning them. You're just a contrary asshole looking to shit out your brains in any thread that will provoke the maximum amount of irritation.

post #13 of 302
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mangy View Post
 

If Gamera replied to me, please note that I just said I blocked you. I bet he did. He did, didn't he?

 

We're a herd, Mangy. A big red Communist herd.

post #14 of 302

While I don't necessarily agree with Merriweather choosing to lead this topic title with the SYG/BD story and probably confine the hatred of Florida to that and other political reasons from the not so distant past I do agree that Florida has all kinds of fuckwittery going on and ought to be jokingly, or not, done away with.

 

That being said, GvR, as a dues paying, card carrying Libertarian and libertarian I find your wrecking of other threads just to keep your name at the forefront of my Top Posts list to be too much.  I'm not gonna use the ignore button but I will be advocating that some thought be put into banning you.

 

You're making me and the scant few conservatives on this board look bad and the left side of this party boat already thinks we do that fine enough on our own so if I am pointing it out to you then you gotta chill the fuck out dude.

 

*EDIT* Or what Merriweather said up there.

post #15 of 302
Quote:
Originally Posted by Merriweather View Post
 

TzuDohNim disagrees with my worldviews in almost every way. He's one of the funnest guys to talk to on here. Closer and Cylon Baby are two guys who I've spent hours arguing with. I would never advocate banning them. You're just a contrary asshole looking to shit out your brains in any thread that will provoke the maximum amount of irritation.

 

I haven't posted in that many different threads so that's a weird argument to make.

post #16 of 302
Thread Starter 

You started talking about Syria in a thread that literally had nothing to do with it, simply because I started said thread.

 

Tzu, what about the original story does not reflect poorly on Florida? Just out of curiosity.

post #17 of 302

post #18 of 302
Quote:
Originally Posted by Merriweather View Post
 

You started talking about Syria in a thread that literally had nothing to do with it, simply because I started said thread.

 

Tzu, what about the original story does not reflect poorly on Florida? Just out of curiosity.

 

Not that it doesn't reflect poorly, and I am only halfway through it at this point-full disclosure, but I was just commenting that Florida has much more going for it in the batshit crazy vein than recent headline making laws would suggest.

 

I don't even need to read the article to think the idea of the guy using the Bush Doctrine as a defense is asinine and so far what I have read doesn't leave much to his claims of SYG either.

post #19 of 302
Thread Starter 

It's some crazy Lawyer-Fu to even think that they can pull off "he shot them because Bush bombed Iraq" as a defense. But then again, Florida.

post #20 of 302

To keep track of every wacky thing in Florida (and there is SOOO much), I recommend following the Florida Man Twitter account.

 

Maybe not great for political discussion, but it provides lots of great reasons for the nuking of Florida to begin post-haste.

post #21 of 302
Quote:
Originally Posted by Merriweather View Post
 

You started talking about Syria in a thread that literally had nothing to do with it, simply because I started said thread.

 

Tzu, what about the original story does not reflect poorly on Florida? Just out of curiosity.

 

It's almost like I did to your thread what you did to mine... wow, could it be poetic justice?

post #22 of 302
Thread Starter 

Wait, what? Loathe as I am to even engage you any more, that's just complete horseshit.

post #23 of 302

The standard go to, to be copied and re-pasted  in here as necessary:

 

 

 

 

It's the little "Yay!" at the end that always gets me.

post #24 of 302

You DO realize that nuking Florida would kill our very own Richard Dickson, right?  I mean, let's not get carried away or anything.

post #25 of 302

A source article.

 

Quote:
 "He just wouldn't leave him alone," said Jeannie Huppert. "He shot Gary in the head and then went back and shot him in his neck, but he was already dead."

 

Yeah, hasn't this guy seen Shawshank Redemption?  You can't do that and claim crime of passion or self defense.

 

 

Skip to the 1:50 mark for the relevant portion but the video embedder wasn't letting me start it there.

post #26 of 302
Thread Starter 

Dickson's a carny. He eats nukes for breakfast.

post #27 of 302
Yeah...but it's Titusville...even for us Florida residents Titusville is a punchline...
on the plus side of Florida...we do have some kickass breweries...especially Jacksonville.
post #28 of 302
Quote:
Originally Posted by WasteofTape View Post
...we do have some kickass breweries...

 

Now THAT is how you begin to justify a state's existence.

post #29 of 302
Yard House doesn't count as a brewery. BJ's? Maybe.
post #30 of 302
Quote:
Originally Posted by Trav McGee View Post

Now THAT is how you begin to justify a state's existence.


Well...it IS Florida...what am I supposed to brag about? The oppressive heat and sulfur water?
post #31 of 302
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bradito View Post

Yard House doesn't count as a brewery. BJ's? Maybe.


BJ's is to breweries as Olive Garden is to Italian Food...
post #32 of 302
Quote:
Originally Posted by Merriweather View Post
 

Dickson's a carny. He eats nukes for breakfast.

 

Yeah, but all my stuff's here.

post #33 of 302
Thread Starter 

Stay away from Death Mountain, Dickson!

post #34 of 302
Quote:
Originally Posted by WasteofTape View Post


Well...it IS Florida...what am I supposed to brag about? The oppressive heat and sulfur water?

 

Oranges?  Marilyn Manson?

post #35 of 302
Quote:
Originally Posted by Richard Dickson View Post
 

 

Yeah, but all my stuff's here.

 

Disney's gotta have a nuclear bunker somewhere.  Just rent a uhaul and let us know when you get there.

post #36 of 302
Quote:
Originally Posted by Judas Booth View Post

Oranges?  Marilyn Manson?

I'm in Northeast Florida..I won't accept the blame for inflicting Marilyn Manson upon the world...and we have apologized enough for Vanilla Ice, and Limp Bizkit.....
post #37 of 302

Lemme ferret my mom out of the state first, and then I'll give you the green light.

post #38 of 302

While I am always an advocate of the use of Orbital bombardment as a solution to any problem, it looks as thought this one might take care of itself.  Apparently the Earth has decided it is also done with the Sunshine State and has decided to reabsorb it in-vitro siamese twin style.

post #39 of 302
Is Dave Barry still there? We'll have to evacuate him first.
post #40 of 302

Hell, a once-a-day trip to FARK will give you enough Florida insanity to warrant the proposed bombardment.

post #41 of 302

If your a fan of Death Metal, Florida is the place to be. However I'm a proud Hair Metal aficionado, so that isn't a plus in my book.

post #42 of 302
Quote:
Originally Posted by Chaz View Post

If your a fan of Death Metal, Florida is the place to be. However I'm a proud Hair Metal aficionado, so that isn't a plus in my book.

All the Death Metal bands here have become so interchangeable....
on the plus side we do have a pretty good selection of Doom bands..and black metal has a huge following here.
post #43 of 302
Can someone explain the difference between Death Metal and Doom Bands? Asking for a friend.
post #44 of 302
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bradito View Post

Can someone explain the difference between Death Metal and Doom Bands? Asking for a friend.

 

Wow, we're talking a really wide gulf, Doom has its roots in bands like Black Sabbath, a lot of slower, moodier type stuff and the vocals are usually intelligible if "weird" like Ozzy's are. While Death Metal normally isn't as fast as Thrash Metal it's more of a mid-paced type of metal making it much faster than Doom, the vocals are almost all deep, guttural growls that can barely be made out as words and the atmosphere is either pure satanism, extreme violence or horror. The point is to feel like your face is being punched in, Doom Metal is more like traversing a misty swamp on a wooden boat while weeping over your losses, Death Metal is cutting a pentagram into the flesh of your dead cheerleader victims and then possibly eating parts of them. 

post #45 of 302

And what in the holy fuck is black metal?

post #46 of 302
I guess, if pressed, I'm more of a Doom Metal kind of guy.
post #47 of 302

All I know is that Black Metal comes from Norway and is, I believe, pretty damned Satanic.  Really evil type stuff.

 

Crazy Scandinaveans.

post #48 of 302
So even though there are Christian rock bands, there aren't any Christian Black Metal bands?
post #49 of 302
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jackson View Post
 

And what in the holy fuck is black metal?

 

Okay, normally very fast but it has to have a very low-fi sound normally, it shouldn't be over-produced. It's satanic but in a darker, less fun way than Death Metal, if that makes sense? A Death Metal album might look cool like this:

 

 

Wheras Black Metal is meant to go for grim and dark like this:

 

 

While Death Metal uses Satanic stuff for fun Black Metal gets into Satanic philosophy and is much more high minded and intellectual than Death Metal normally is. Black Metal is heavily focused on image and lyrics, Black Metal bands tend to dress up in leather garb, where face paint and all kinds of stuff you guys might view as "goth". Black Metal bands take themselves so seriously, often, that members have been arrested for actually burning down churches, a few Black Metal bands are actually fronted by murderers (Dissection's lead singer recently was released from jail after stabbing someone to death for being a homosexual). That's the other thing, Black Metal can be a haven for racism and homophobia, for neo nazis in a way that Punk often is. The vocals for Black Metal are more high pitched types of ridiculous demon sounds as opposed to the deep stuff in Death Metal, the interesting thing though is many Death Metal bands have backing vocals that are the screech normally associated with Black Metal and Black Metal will occasionally have a Death Metal growl or two thrown into a song as well. The most popular Black Metal bands aren't considered real Black Metal because 1. Too popular and 2. Too nice sounding. Dimmu Borgir and Cradle of Filth would be the most popular two bands, but because of their production values and reliance on crunchy riffs they're clearly trying harder to entertain the listener than normal black metal making them not "true black metal", also they both use keyboards which is considered a no-no if you want to be real black metal. That said there is a tremendous amount of more melodic black metal bands who employ keyboards often. 

post #50 of 302
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bradito View Post

So even though there are Christian rock bands, there aren't any Christian Black Metal bands?

 

There are bands who call themselves Christian Black Metal but they're rarely considered real Black Metal by fans of the genre or other Black Metal bands. They couldn't tour with most Black Metal bands who don't do this all for show but really believe this shit, they might actively try to murder the other band's members (no exaggeration). 

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