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Fox News - this is not satire - Page 3

post #101 of 483
Quote:
Originally Posted by WendellEverett View Post
 

Hannity's nick-name in college was "Half A Heineken Hannity".  He reminds me of the guy who goes to a house party and checks the bookshelves for Star Wars EU novels to borrow.

 

He reminds me of the guy who would go to a party, then try to find the littlest guy and give him a wedgie-- only to find people like the little guy-- and aren't really cool with the concept of wedgies in the first place.  So he belches loudly and says "I'm outta here. Buncha faggots anyway" and slams the door. And when people talk about it they realize nobody invited him, and they have a much better time now that he's gone.

 

Meanwhile, at his apartment, he sobs quietly into an old issue of Playboy, refusing to go on the internet because it's "just a buncha faggots anyway."  He tries to jerk off, but he can't get it up.  "That's okay" he tells himself.   "It happens to every guy now and again" he lies.

 

 Off in the distance, a bald eagle cries.

post #102 of 483
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bailey View Post
 

 

He reminds me of the guy who would go to a party, then try to find the littlest guy and give him a wedgie-- only to find people like the little guy-- and aren't really cool with the concept of wedgies in the first place.  So he belches loudly and says "I'm outta here. Buncha faggots anyway" and slams the door. And when people talk about it they realize nobody invited him, and they have a much better time now that he's gone.

 

Meanwhile, at his apartment, he sobs quietly into an old issue of Playboy, refusing to go on the internet because it's "just a buncha faggots anyway."  He tries to jerk off, but he can't get it up.  "That's okay" he tells himself.   "It happens to every guy now and again" he lies.

 

 Off in the distance, a bald eagle cries.

 

It's like some Darkest Timeline where instead of taking the jovial Everybody Wants Some! route for the "Dazed And Confused Goes To College" follow up, Linklater decided to follow Ben Affleck's character instead.

post #103 of 483
post #104 of 483
But they're professional liars.
post #105 of 483

I'd like Andrea Tantaros to walk into on-coming traffic. Statistically speaking, I'm far more likely to get my wish than she is to get hers and that fills me with hope and joy.

post #106 of 483
post #107 of 483
Quote:
“I think you and I should have had a sexual relationship a long time ago, and then you’d be good and better and I’d be good and better,” Ailes said, according to the article.
...the hell kind of a pickup line is that, anyway? I've met inanimate objects that were better at talking dirty.
post #108 of 483
Quote:
Originally Posted by commodorejohn View Post


...the hell kind of a pickup line is that, anyway? I've met inanimate objects that were better at talking dirty.

 

The kind you develop when you've been rich enough to simply coerce women into sex for decades.

post #109 of 483

I'm not through with this super-detailed article, but I wanted to share it anyway:

 

http://nymag.com/daily/intelligencer/2016/09/how-fox-news-women-took-down-roger-ailes.html?mid=nymag_press

 

 

Kelly actually wondered if the Trump campaign tried to poison her.  That's how low this election season is.

post #110 of 483

This cycle has really truly depressed me, because it has exposed the usual right wing piece of shit suspects into even worse versions of themselves.  I have lost so much respect for John McCaine.  

post #111 of 483

More birds leaving (getting kicked out of ?) the nest....

 

Greta Van Susteren abruptly leaves Fox News

post #112 of 483

Heard on the radio this morning that Carlson settled for $20 million.  Thought it was strange that the exact figure would be made public, but anything that embarrasses Ailes and co. puts a smile on my face.

post #113 of 483
Quote:
Originally Posted by VTRan View Post
 

More birds leaving (getting kicked out of ?) the nest....

 

Greta Van Susteren abruptly leaves Fox News

 

"A source close to the situation said it was a financial disagreement that led to Van Susteren's departure."

 

 

Did they welch on the previously agreed upon price for Ailes touch her boobs?

post #114 of 483

Van Susteren's departure was a bit icier than was originally thought:

 

https://www.yahoo.com/news/greta-van-susterens-sudden-departure-042200368.html

post #115 of 483
Quote:
Originally Posted by Iron Maiden View Post

Andrea Tantaros would like Roger Ailes and Bill O'Reilly to take lie detector tests:

http://www.msn.com/en-us/news/us/andrea-tantaros-wants-ailes-bill-o%e2%80%99reilly-to-take-%e2%80%98lie-detector-test-challenge%e2%80%99/ar-AAieIH9?li=BBnbcA1

She does realize that Lie Detector tests are not the fool proof tools you've seen in the CSI shows, right my dear?
post #116 of 483
I can see Bill O'Reilly using the George Costanza logic of its not a lie if you believe it.
post #117 of 483
Quote:
Originally Posted by Freeman View Post

She does realize that Lie Detector tests are not the fool proof tools you've seen in the CSI shows, right my dear?

She knows their powers to influence perception, and since there's no way the old boys'll risk it, daring them only helps the perception of her claims. It's savvy, even if one were completely skeptical of her claims.
post #118 of 483

Oh, glorious.
post #119 of 483
post #120 of 483

Van Susteren has commented on Ailes:

 

post #121 of 483
Translation: "I regret that our lying and general scumfuckery ricocheted in-house."

I award her no points.
post #122 of 483
post #123 of 483

Ailes' final days at Fox News examined:

 

http://www.vanityfair.com/news/2016/09/roger-ailes-fox-news-final-days?mbid=social_twitter

 

Ailes was very upset that Megyn Kelly refused to defend him on air.  He wanted Fox to issue a press release, but opted to have Breitbart say shit instead.

post #124 of 483

Methinks that Fox News will be just as friendly to old and scared white people as it was before.

post #125 of 483

Here's Bill O'Reilly claiming not to know what's in Megyn Kelly's new book, but, then, getting very angry about the idea of making Fox News look bad:

 

https://twitter.com/oliverdarcy/status/798671631950327808

 

It's pretty unhinged.

 

He's also not sure if Kelly will be on the show, which likely sums up their business relationship nowadays.

post #126 of 483

O'Reilly continuing his attack on Megyn Kelly for telling the truth about Ailes:

 

http://www.mediaite.com/tv/oreilly-continues-throwing-shade-at-megyn-kelly-you-dont-undermine-your-employer/

post #127 of 483

Ailes would like an apology for being called a "gropey old man."

 

http://talkingpointsmemo.com/livewire/roger-ailes-asks-apology-ny-daily-news-headline

post #128 of 483

If Bill O'Reilly's show tonight is any indication, Fox has said "goodbye and fuck you" to dogwhistles and has now broken out the megaphones.

 

https://twitter.com/deray/status/811403187999612928

post #129 of 483

Bill O'Reilly is one of the many reasons I don't believe in karma.

post #130 of 483
Holy fuck.
post #131 of 483
To paraphrase Porthos,

It may be time for blood in the streets.
post #132 of 483

Trump just went through a year and half of racism and misogyny, and he was rewarded for it.  Our power structure is about to have a guy at the top who thinks Hispanic judges cannot fairly adjudicate cases involving white people, and O'Reilly's crowd is mostly cool with that.  O'Reilly simply has no reason to hold back his true feelings anymore.  There is no incentive out there for him to pretend that minorities are on equal footing, so he's inclined to ring the bell that the white power structure is under attack.  Yes, the left will criticize him - and so will a few Republicans, frankly - but we now live in a world where true outrage happens every week and people either don't care or quickly forget and move on to the next thing.  I mean, O'Reilly just talked about how "well-fed" slaves were over the summer, and nothing happened.  He kept silent when Roger Ailes joined the Trump campaign because it would make his network look bad, and nothing happened.  He practically coached Trump in their interviews, and he got the outcome he wanted.  Nothing will happen now. 

 

The Republican Party won, so I don't exactly expect many reflections from them, but only so many of them really handled themselves well this year.

post #133 of 483
Quote:
Originally Posted by Iron Maiden View Post

Trump just went through a year and half of racism and misogyny, and he was rewarded for it.  Our power structure is about to have a guy at the top who thinks Hispanic judges cannot fairly adjudicate cases involving white people, and O'Reilly's crowd is mostly cool with that.  O'Reilly simply has no reason to hold back his true feelings anymore.  There is no incentive out there for him to pretend that minorities are on equal footing, so he's inclined to ring the bell that the white power structure is under attack.  Yes, the left will criticize him - and so will a few Republicans, frankly - but we now live in a world where true outrage happens every week and people either don't care or quickly forget and move on to the next thing.  I mean, O'Reilly just talked about how "well-fed" slaves were over the summer, and nothing happened.  He kept silent when Roger Ailes joined the Trump campaign because it would make his network look bad, and nothing happened.  He practically coached Trump in their interviews, and he got the outcome he wanted.  Nothing will happen now. 

The Republican Party won, so I don't exactly expect many reflections from them, but only so many of them really handled themselves well this year.

Where's Brother Malcolm when we need him.

If there's one lesson we've learned from the last decade, it's that rational, fact-based argument and repeated attempts to "be the bigger person" results in the Bad
Guys winning. Moral superiority means less than nothing if it leads to an outcome that's morally absent.

The Axis weren't defeated because we didn't 'stoop to their level,' they were defeated because we bombed them into oblivion.

Given the apathy of the average American, who watched 20+ children get mowed down with automatic weapons and still couldn't mobilize for simple background checks, a lot of people are going to have to die for there to be meaningful change. Maybe that's in more misspent wars abroad, maybe it's in more domestic attacks at home, maybe it's in violent protests. But this shit isn't going to change until the average person FEELS their lives being affected.
post #134 of 483
Quote:
Originally Posted by Analog Olmos View Post

The Axis weren't defeated because we didn't 'stoop to their level,' they were defeated because we bombed them into oblivion.
 

 

The Axis also weren't defeated because we stuck enough Japanese-Americans in camps and exterminated more Jews.  You have to fight hard to win, but that doesn't mean every tactic of the enemy is fair game.

post #135 of 483
Quote:
Originally Posted by Schwartz View Post

The Axis also weren't defeated because we stuck enough Japanese-Americans in camps and exterminated more Jews.  You have to fight hard to win, but that doesn't mean every tactic of the enemy is fair game.

Certainly not.

But "Talk politely and use facts and they'll go away" has turned out to be the worst strategy possible.
post #136 of 483
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dent6084 View Post

If Bill O'Reilly's show tonight is any indication, Fox has said "goodbye and fuck you" to dogwhistles and has now broken out the megaphones.

https://twitter.com/deray/status/811403187999612928

This is not exactly accurate. Professional windbag O'Reilly was referring to what the Liberals define as the White Establishment, it was not his reference.

This is the problem with how we consume media now... one screenshot is all it takes to misinterpret. I don't like the guy, but he really wasn't being that much of an overt racist asshole. He was just at his regular, normal levels.
post #137 of 483
Quote:
Originally Posted by neil spurn View Post


This is not exactly accurate. Professional windbag O'Reilly was referring to what the Liberals define as the White Establishment, it was not his reference.

This is the problem with how we consume media now... one screenshot is all it takes to misinterpret. I don't like the guy, but he really wasn't being that much of an overt racist asshole. He was just at his regular, normal levels.

 

I see this as Oreilly's/Fox's opinion about what 'liberals' think. He is the one attempting to define what the liberal point of view is...and it's bullshit.

 

He's playing up to his base, which is almost entirely older white folk. It's nothing more than a scare tactic...like one he and Fox have used time and time again.


Here's the video-  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_0PFOgLHSVw

post #138 of 483
It's strange that suddenly everyone's now noticing racists are openly being racist. Yeah, it was all hidden over the last eight years. The Tea Party, Birther movement, George Zimmerman, All Lives Matter, etc. -- none of these things made any headlines.
post #139 of 483
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bradito View Post

It's strange that suddenly everyone's now noticing racists are openly being racist. Yeah, it was all hidden over the last eight years. The Tea Party, Birther movement, George Zimmerman, All Lives Matter, etc. -- none of these things made any headlines.


Yeah, but because they didn't just explicitly say "KILL ALL <INSERT GROUP HERE>!" they retained plausible deniability. Because OBVIOUSLY you can only be racist if you openly say the most vile and horrible things possible, and not just hiding behind insinuations. In fact at this point I'm not sure you can even be racist then. We may have reached the point where you actually have to act on it rather than just spewing rhetoric before at least one side of the political spectrum will say "OK, yeah, that's racist."

post #140 of 483

Teen Vogue​, of all places, has been writing interesting op-eds on Trump, including one about gaslighting.  Tucker Carlson decided to have the writer, Lauren Duca, on his new show.  Carlson was his snotty self, but Duca got the better of him.  I don't think Carlson's show is about to be cancelled or anything (CNN might suck, but it still has more morals than Fox), but Duca rocks it here:

 

http://www.mediaite.com/online/teen-vogue-writer-battles-tucker-carlson-youre-actually-being-a-partisan-hack/

 

To be fair, Carlson didn't once say that Duca had "dick-fright" or wonder aloud if she ever had a pearl necklace, so, I guess, that makes him the best of the Carlson siblings:

 

https://www.buzzfeed.com/rosiegray/tucker-carlsons-brother-de-blasio-spokesperson-a-self-righte?utm_term=.gmLZvyGL3#.ykezK039q

post #141 of 483

"You should stick to the thigh high boots you're better at that." What a condescending dick. Since she is rightful scared about Trump proposed Muslim, she is much smarter than Tucker.

post #142 of 483

Yeah, Tucker, ​Teen Vogue can't cover politics and thigh high boots, but your website can cover politics and this:

 

post #143 of 483

Fox News wonders if it's time to end food stamps after $70 million in fraud was discovered:

 

https://twitter.com/FoxNews/status/813851963003576320

 

No word on if the annual waste of the Department of Defense (between $25-35 billion) should be the end of that as well:

 

https://www.nytimes.com/subscriptions/Multiproduct/lp8XKUR.html?mph=cr552bp&adxc=285078&adxa=415536&page=myaccount.nytimes.com/mobile/wall&pos=Gateway&campaignId=6JHLL

post #144 of 483

2014 food stamp facts:

 

 

In an average month, 46.7 million Americans participated.  For the whole year, 45,000 were disqualified for fraud.  A big number?  It can be perceived that way, but if that's the gauge we're using to destroy essential programs that millions of children and elder citizens depend on, I think we've lost the plot.

 

The program gets roughly $75 billion per year.  Finding $70 million in fraud is unfortunate, but it's also not even one percent of the budget.

post #145 of 483
Quote:
Originally Posted by Iron Maiden View Post
 

2014 food stamp facts:

 

 

In an average month, 46.7 million Americans participated.  For the whole year, 45,000 were disqualified for fraud.  A big number?  It can be perceived that way, but if that's the gauge we're using to destroy essential programs that millions of children and elder citizens depend on, I think we've lost the plot.

 

The program gets roughly $75 billion per year.  Finding $70 million in fraud is unfortunate, but it's also not even one percent of the budget.


I would also be very, very curious as to how this fraud came about.  Because I'm betting in more than a few cases it was people inside the system actively helping people game it.  Not just random poor (or not-so-poor) people walking up and getting food stamps they didn't deserve.

 

Also curious as to what constitutes that "$70 million in fraud" because I doubt 45,000 people are getting more than a million dollars apiece in food stamps.

post #146 of 483
Fuuuuuuuuuuck. I missed National Sideboob Day?
post #147 of 483
post #148 of 483

So, Fox News' food stamp report was fake news too:

 

https://www.washingtonpost.com/blogs/erik-wemple/wp/2016/12/29/agriculture-department-seeks-correction-from-fox-news-on-food-stamp-fraud-report/?utm_term=.aedf11b738ae

 

Quote:
According to the USDA, that’s false. “We are not quite sure where this came from,” a USDA spokesperson tells the Erik Wemple Blog. “We saw that there was as story on Breitbart. We have not issued a report on this recently. There is no new rate that we’ve published. So we’re not quite sure why they’re so interested in stirring this up.” The program in question is the Supplemental Nutrition Assistance Program (SNAP), which assists millions “eligible, low-income individuals and families and provides economic benefits to communities.”

 

And:

 

Quote:
And even though Fox News claims brand-new information on food-stamp fraud, the USDA insists that its most recent analysis is several years old. From 2009 to 2011, claims a USDA report, the rate of “trafficking” of SNAP benefits jumped from 1.0 percent to 1.3 percent — though that rate is down from almost 4 percent in the 1990s. “Trafficking” refers to transactions in which SNAP beneficiaries sell their benefits to retailers for cash, commonly at discounted rates; it is one form of food-stamp-related fraud.
Now here comes the mind-blowing part: Take that 1.3 percent trafficking rate from 2009 to 2011 and apply it to the 2016 SNAP budget of about $70 billion. It comes out to about $910 million, or more than 10 times the rate that Fox News claimed on its show. So even as it reported that food-stamp fraud had hit an all-time high, Fox News was actually reporting a preposterously low number for food-stamp fraud.

 

Someone on cable news (I can't remember who) said something really interesting about this whole thing: If it true or not is beside the point.  Fox is setting up all its greatest hits just as the Trump administration gets its first 100 days agenda set.  And we know how important "Fox & Friends" is to Trump.

post #149 of 483

What a headline:

 

https://twitter.com/FoxNews/status/815014972686209024

 

There used to be a time when Putin was persona non grata at Fox.  Now, he's a moral figure in the age of Obama. 

post #150 of 483
Fox: Do you hate the poor? Sound off in the comments!
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