Originally Posted by Reasor
The story about Trump trying to make hay out of the return of $400 million to the Iranians by the Obama administration has a new wrinkle. When delivering his speech to the crowd in Daytona, Florida, Trump asserted having been shown video footage of Iranians unloading duffel bags full of cash off a plane. The comedy of thinking Obama would just give the money to the Iranians in cash and tell them to transport it and deposit it themselves aside, no such footage is available to the public.
[EXT: DOWNTOWN TEHRAN]
Motorcade of bulletproof SUVs screams to a dusty stop in front of a large stone building. Car doors fly open and several men in gold-trimmed white robes, ostentatious turbans, designer sunglasses, and Snidely Whiplash-esque mustaches and goatees pour out, carrying duffel bags overspilling with American dollars. They speed through the open doors of the marble-columned FIRST BANK OF TERRORISM.
[INT: FIRST BANK OF TERRORISM]
The EVIL IRANIANS haul the duffel bags up to the queue, which thankfully has only one person in front of them, who also has a turban, sunglasses, and menacing facial hair, as well as several sticks of dynamite strapped to his waist. There is a 10-minute wait for a free teller. At last, the men with the duffel bags (which have left a trail of spilled American dollars behind them) approach the nearest teller.
TELLER: May I help you?
SNEERING IRANIAN: At the expense of the foolish Americans and their weak leadership, we would like to make a depos-- Shit! I don't have a deposit slip. Did someone remember the checkbook? Tell me someone brought the checkbook. [everyone slaps their pockets, shakes their heads "no," rolling their eyes] Fuck. Can I use my debit card? Wait, it's in the car. Achmed, get my wallet! It doesn't have the chip thing, is that all right?