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My New Story...

post #1 of 3
12/10/02 at 9:14pm
Thread Starter 
Okay, it's shill time. I know at least two of you read "It's Not My Fault" on CHUDstories, and now I've just written another short, which is a prequel of sorts to it, entitled "The Subway". It's a bit more traditionally written than INMF, but I thought I'd post it for you guys to enjoy/criticize. So enjoy!

<a href="http://www.geocities.com/cb_dotcom/subway.html" target="_blank">http://www.geocities.com/cb_dotcom/subway.html</a>
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post #2 of 3
12/10/02 at 11:00pm
Excellent, Fett. I must admit, that INMF is the best one of the two. It's just cool to hear a backstory of that homeless man's death. It's also interesting to be reading from the homeless man's POV instead of the werewolf.

And if no one has read INMF and read this first, there's a nice unexpected scene about the homeless man. One could expect that he's not food but a marked man for lycanthropy.

Good job, Fett, though I wish it was longer and even more bloody.
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post #3 of 3
12/11/02 at 7:55am
Quote:
voltes5:
Excellent, Fett. I must admit, that INMF is the best one of the two.

Good job, Fett, though I wish it was longer and even more bloody.
Agree with Voltes here Fett, i did enjoy this but INMF is the better of the two as i like the werewolf POV.
But i liked the pacing of this story with its short sharp sentences.
I think the length is fine, the ojnly thing i would add is that i didnt really care about the character and was kinda rooting for the werewolf but hey thats probably just my twisted mind wink
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