samurai cop 2

Could a self-aware sequel to the genuinely entertaining Samurai Cop generate anything approaching the dizzying joy of its predecessor? A better question might be if a group of low-budget filmmakers can successful wrestle lightning out of the sky and command it to strike the same spot twice. No? Well then…no.

But they’re going to try, and word on the street is that The Room’s Tommy Wiseau has now been cast as a guy who will say, “hai” to everybody (or something). Which sucks. It’s a lame marketing move on the level of re-titling the film “Sharknado Presents: Tommy Wiseau’s Samurai Cop 2: Port of Call Nilbog.” But hey, little movies have to do everything they can to grab eyeballs, right? You just can’t expect me to forget everything I know about how camp movies are made and suddenly believe you can make one on purpose.

To belabor the point in another way: you can’t intentionally make a Flaming Moe. The addition of cough syrup is a happy accident that makes an otherwise unhealthy swill of blindness-inducing moonshine a wildly successful (albeit fiction) beverage. Tommy Wiseau is meant to be the cough syrup in this cocktail, the only problem is that he’s being poured into MORE COUGH SYRUP. Stacks on stacks. So on and so forth.

Anyway, none of this may matter! The Kickstarter campaign to fund the film is $15k shy its goal with less than two weeks to go. Despite my misgivings, I wish this crew—and everyone who wants to see the film—the best. I just have a feeling that the next big thing in so-bad-it’s-good probably won’t have any casting announcements proceeding it.