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Western Society, Pop Culture, and the Cacophony of Social Media - Page 94

post #4651 of 4834
What's the GoFundMe for, anyway? Lunch money to pay off the bullies?
post #4652 of 4834

Money heals all emotional pain.

 

post #4653 of 4834
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bradito View Post

What's the GoFundMe for, anyway? Lunch money to pay off the bullies?

 

Maybe for a private school?

 

It has amazed me my entire life how cavalierly school personnel treat bullying.  100% of teachers and education administrators would not tolerate for one second being bullied in the workplace, yet all they seem to care about with students is getting the issue out of their face.

 

I just finished up a rather nasty cyber-bullying case and the level of effort I had to put into simply getting the school administration to give even the slightest attention to the situation was breath-taking.  Nothing has changed. 

post #4654 of 4834
Teachers when they catch you fighting a bully: "You should have come to me first."

Teachers when you come to them because you're being bullied: "Durrr... I dunno. Maybe don't come to school?"
post #4655 of 4834

It appears that the GoFundMes were taken down/suspended. At least one was a generic "Stand Up For Keaton" a la that bus attendant that sounded like it was for Christmas presents. Nothing about private school.

 

And, I mean, come on, we've all seen School Ties. Let's not pretend bullying isn't bad there, too. :)

post #4656 of 4834

And yes, bullying sucks. But as others have pointed out, we tend to really only pay attention to cases like these if it's cute white kids. 

post #4657 of 4834

There is no place in the Western World where the credibility of the accuser has less value than when it comes to bullying in schools. 

 

"I didn't see it, so I can't assume anything you're saying is true" is the refrain I have heard in at least 8-10 cases (never mind bruises, tears, obvious trauma, text messages, emails, etc.).   It's also what I recall from my time in the L.A. Unified School System.  Of course, there is nothing more sancrosanct to teachers than the inviolable privacy of their lunch, recess, and class-switch breaks, so asking them to supervise what's going on in the school outside their break-room or classroom is a non-starter (and there is no budget for hallway or yard monitors).  

post #4658 of 4834
Quote:
Originally Posted by Boone Daniels View Post
 

... we tend to really only pay attention to cases like these if it's cute white kids. 

 

Speak for yourself.  

post #4659 of 4834

Why am I thoroughly unsurprised Overlord feels this way about teachers? 

post #4660 of 4834
Quote:
Originally Posted by Overlord View Post
 

 

Speak for yourself.  

 

It's true! I get that you, in your profession, probably deal with cases across the socio-economic spectrum and diverse backgrounds, but stories like this really only "go viral" across social media (hi, this is the social media thread) when it's cute white kids. 

 

Two black girls this year Keaton's age committed suicide because they were bullied. And the only reason their names got brought to my attention is because I was cruising the hashtag about this kid on Twitter.

 

That's fucked up. 

post #4661 of 4834
Quote:
Originally Posted by Boone Daniels View Post
 

Why am I thoroughly unsurprised Overlord feels this way about teachers? 

 

Because I've handled a dozen or so lawsuits against school districts and 8-10 have involved bullying, and I've mentioned the cases on this board before at various times?  

 

I don't have a problem with teachers.  I have a problem with school district and school personnel's responses to bullying.  At least here in SoCal.  It's endemic to the entire area.  This last case is going to be the last one I handle.  I'm tired of fighting upstream and I give up.  The text messages directed at this poor girl and her boyfriend were just fucking sickening, and I've got a school principal saying "just because it's that student's name on the website doesn't mean they actually posted the messages."  Even though I've also got text messages with that student's phone number with similar content.  

post #4662 of 4834
There are few things I'm more grateful for about my childhood than the fact that I never, ever attended school, public or otherwise. (Homeschooled from get-go to get-gone.) Everything I've heard from anybody on the subject has only reinforced that.
post #4663 of 4834
Quote:
Originally Posted by Overlord View Post
 

 

Because I've handled a dozen or so lawsuits against school districts and 8-10 have involved bullying, and I've mentioned the cases on this board before at various times?  

 

There is a systemic problem with school district and school personnel's response to bullying.  At least here in SoCal.  

 

Yeah, but god forbid anybody say a bad thing about gun owners. 

post #4664 of 4834
I’m a teacher.

I also got into A LOT of fights when I was in school. After one particularly brutal one that left me with a scar under my right eye, I was told by a teacher that I “should have ducked.”

Fuck teachers.
post #4665 of 4834
Quote:
Originally Posted by commodorejohn View Post

There are few things I'm more grateful for about my childhood than the fact that I never, ever attended school, public or otherwise. (Homeschooled from get-go to get-gone.) Everything I've heard from anybody on the subject has only reinforced that.

 

While attending a pleasant, well-run school probably would have been enjoyable for you, attending a shitty school is simply hellish. 

 

 

Quote:
Originally Posted by Boone Daniels View Post
 

 

Yeah, but god forbid anybody say a bad thing about gun owners. 

 

You're being childish.

post #4666 of 4834
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bartleby_Scriven View Post

I also got into A LOT of fights when I was in school. After one particularly brutal one that left me with a scar under my right eye, I was told by a teacher that I “should have ducked.”
 

 

Man, that is a really shitty thing to have happen to you.  Sorry, Bart.  

post #4667 of 4834
I begged my parents to homeschool me because I'm a wimp and a homebody.
post #4668 of 4834

You edited your post to clarify how you feel about teachers, and I'm cool with that response. We can move on. 

 

Bullying's fucked up, and I agree that, more often than not, the system is not equipped to properly mitigate this thing from occurring, and any school system that tries to cover this stuff up should be sued into non-existence. 

 

Fuck bullies, but also fuck parents who exploit their kids. 

post #4669 of 4834
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bradito View Post

I begged my parents to homeschool me because I'm a wimp and a homebody.

 

Children are legally required to attend school unless their parents qualify for a homeschooling exception.  While at school, they are invariably required by a variety of policies ("no-fault" disciplinary proceedings being the most common) to not protect themselves either physically or verbally.  

 

Yet, IMHO we take almost no reasonable precautions to ensure that they have a modicum of safety and civility in regards to their presence.  It starts with budgeting to ensure that staff actually supervises the school grounds.  

post #4670 of 4834

There's a lot that's been written about how zero-tolerance policies post-Columbine are one of the worst things to happen to public education in this country, and that's even before you add in the racial aspects of it. 

post #4671 of 4834
Quote:
Originally Posted by Overlord View Post

Man, that is a really shitty thing to have happen to you.  Sorry, Bart.  

Thanks! But also I’ve got a bad attitude! I once got punched in the ear at 1am at a Perkin’s for telling a guy to “go eat a bowl of go fuck yourself.”

So yeah, I’ll probably be shot eventually.

Also teachers are cool.

But also fuck teachers.
post #4672 of 4834
Is "go fuck yourself" on the menu at Perkin's?
post #4673 of 4834

Yeah, it's healthier than if it's in a tortilla.

 

You can also get it wrapped in lettuce.

post #4674 of 4834
Actually, I prefer my go fuck yourself quinoa bowls. Whole Foods sometimes has sales.
post #4675 of 4834
Whole Foods never had a sale ever.
post #4676 of 4834
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bradito View Post

Whole Foods never had a sale ever.

 

Ah .. Whole Paycheck.  The only grocery store where I can buy two of the least flavorful cuts of meat in our area (Whole Foods should fire whoever runs their butchering operations), a small variety of drinks and chips, and maybe a half dozen staple items and somehow the cash register rings up over 200 bucks.  

post #4677 of 4834
All this bullying shit is terrifying for someone with two eight-year-olds.
post #4678 of 4834
Quote:
Originally Posted by Anakin's Dad View Post

All this bullying shit is terrifying for someone with two eight-year-olds.

 

Social media has taken it to the next level.  

post #4679 of 4834
Quote:
Originally Posted by Overlord View Post
 

 

Ah .. Whole Paycheck.  The only grocery store where I can buy two of the least flavorful cuts of meat in our area (Whole Foods should fire whoever runs their butchering operations), a small variety of drinks and chips, and maybe a half dozen staple items and somehow the cash register rings up over 200 bucks.  

 

 

I saw this discussed elsewhere and someone called Aldi "Bizarro World Whole Foods" 

post #4680 of 4834
Quote:
Originally Posted by Overlord View Post
 

 

Social media has taken it to the next level.  

I'm glad there was no social media when I was a teenager.

post #4681 of 4834
Quote:
Originally Posted by Chaz View Post
 

I'm glad there was no social media when I was a teenager.

 

Shit yeah, I got out just as it was emerging. Fucking godsend. 

post #4682 of 4834
Quote:
Originally Posted by neil spurn View Post

Actually, I prefer my go fuck yourself quinoa bowls. Whole Foods sometimes has sales.

This rise in quinoa dishes has got to stop. Can’t stand that stuff. Even if it cures Cancer!
post #4683 of 4834
Quote:
Originally Posted by Overlord View Post
 

 

Social media has taken it to the next level.  

 

Has it though? There was emotional bullying under the teachers' and parents' radar when I was a kid, as constant and with effects as damaging and insidious as cyber-bullying. If you weren't seeking and being provided with comfort from your folks, you'd still be grappling with persistent memories and feelings at home in as intrusive a fashion as receiving messages on your internet connected device is these days, and you'd arguably have to deal with a degree of public gaze and concomitant humiliation. 

 

Where do you see the amplification now? I am interested because my oldest is approaching an age where requests for social media access will start to emerge and I am starting to give serious thought to evaluating the risk.   

post #4684 of 4834
It’s not the intensity. It’s the volume. Social media CAN, I’m not saying it will, make it possible for the cyber equivalent of a locker shove or a threatening note to appear 24/7 with an audience in constant attendance.

Kids can make it through this stuff. They just need the same things they always have. Parental support, IRL friends, non-digital hobbies.

Oh, and the Internet devices stay in the common area of the house until well into their teens.
post #4685 of 4834

I'd advocate the HANNA approach to child rearing personally. 

post #4686 of 4834
Quote:
Originally Posted by jhp1608 View Post
 

 

Has it though? There was emotional bullying under the teachers' and parents' radar when I was a kid, as constant and with effects as damaging and insidious as cyber-bullying. If you weren't seeking and being provided with comfort from your folks, you'd still be grappling with persistent memories and feelings at home in as intrusive a fashion as receiving messages on your internet connected device is these days, and you'd arguably have to deal with a degree of public gaze and concomitant humiliation. 

 

Where do you see the amplification now? I am interested because my oldest is approaching an age where requests for social media access will start to emerge and I am starting to give serious thought to evaluating the risk.   

 

There are text groups/social groups that large groups of students join.  Anonymous, or even non-anonymous, posts and pictures spread virally within minutes.  Try to defend yourself, and the verbal attacks just gets worse. 

 

Think about how few filters kids have on their behavior, then supply them with anonymity and instant communicative powers.

post #4687 of 4834
Quote:
Originally Posted by Codename View Post
 

I'd advocate the HANNA approach to child rearing personally. 

 

Do you have kids?

post #4688 of 4834

No but I am a strong supporter of child assassins. 

post #4689 of 4834
Quote:
Originally Posted by Overlord View Post
 

 

There are text groups/social groups that large groups of students join.  Anonymous, or even non-anonymous, posts and pictures spread virally within minutes.  Try to defend yourself, and the verbal attacks just gets worse. 

 

Think about how few filters kids have on their behavior, then supply them with anonymity and instant communicative powers.

 

So it's the nature of the abuse - it being worse because the abusers are anonymous rather than identifiable.

 

 

Quote:
Originally Posted by Lightning Slim View Post

It’s not the intensity. It’s the volume. Social media CAN, I’m not saying it will, make it possible for the cyber equivalent of a locker shove or a threatening note to appear 24/7 with an audience in constant attendance.

Kids can make it through this stuff. They just need the same things they always have. Parental support, IRL friends, non-digital hobbies.

Oh, and the Internet devices stay in the common area of the house until well into their teens.

 

Volume is a fair point. I was thinking having the experience rolling around a kid's head would be equivalent to volume, but then again at least if it is confirmed to school you have some respite during which it is possible for your mind and emotional state to recover. You can avoid a bully at school and still go to school, but it's hard to avoid a bully on a social media site if you see that as essential to your social life. 

post #4690 of 4834

Speaking as someone who had two different bullies in highschool, at least when went I was home I had some reprieve from it.  Plus I had distractions with a part time job and stuff.  But going to school in the morning was the worst.  

 

I couldn't imagine what it would be like to have to worry about what was being said about me 24/7 on social media.  It would be torture.

 

I don't have kids yet, but I don't understand where we've gone as a society in which children have to be constantly connected to social media and all seem to require cell phones.  

post #4691 of 4834
Quote:
Originally Posted by catartik View Post

Speaking as someone who had two different bullies in highschool, at least when went I was home I had some reprieve from it.  Plus I had distractions with a part time job and stuff.  But going to school in the morning was the worst.  

I couldn't imagine what it would be like to have to worry about what was being said about me 24/7 on social media.  It would be torture.

I don't have kids yet, but I don't understand where we've gone as a society in which children have to be constantly connected to social media and all seem to require cell phones.  

This is true. I’m starting to think we’ve given children a bit too much freedom in the golden age of technology. On one hand, the internet is a great tool for children to learn more, on the other, they use them like TV sets, which is all the time. Whereas a bully had to wait to run into his victim, now he can get his kicks anytime he wants. As for teachers not doing anything if presented online evidence, I could understand them thinking it could be faked, name changed, etc. but you still have a responsibility of helping your students. You should inquire, investigate, and if you find something, talk to the parents. And if it happens again, you expell. That’s the way you do it.
post #4692 of 4834
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bradito View Post

Whole Foods never had a sale ever.

 

Damn it Brad, don't ruin a decent quinoa bowl reference with logic!

post #4693 of 4834

My daughter, age 11, got her first cell phone at the beginning of the school year.  She's been whining about not having one for at least the last 2-3 years, being the "only one" in her class who didn't have one yet.  We relented this year because she's in middle school now, and walks home through central Brooklyn by herself, two avenues and a few blocks.  Her argument was she needed it for the walk. I wasn't happy, but gave in.

 

My wife secretly reviews her texts at night, after bed time.

 

 

 

 

 

Edited for spelling.


Edited by neil spurn - 12/12/17 at 10:37am
post #4694 of 4834
Quote:
Originally Posted by Overlord View Post
we take almost no reasonable precautions to ensure that they have a modicum of safety and civility in regards to their presence.  It starts with budgeting to ensure that staff actually supervises the school grounds.  

 

Now there's a detail.  I know Aus teachers are all rostered for playground patrol duty, all ages.  It's part of the job.  Is there really nothing or is it just people slacking off?  Or some warped policy from the same concerns that brought us Sam Jackson's '187'?  It's not nationwide either, is it? (so many questions)

post #4695 of 4834

As the father of an autistic 14 year old this issue hits home. The fact that he is now 6'2" helps, but I have had to talk him down from destroying a classmate on many occaisions. 

 

One thing I noticed in this 'zero tolerance' atmosphere for fighting, that verbal and mental bullying seem way worse because if you punch someone in the mouth you end up in handcuffs, even in grammer school. 

 

When I grew up if you said some stupid shit to someone there was a good chance of getting your ass kicked, now, not so much, and I notice that this younger generation feels much more free to run their mouth. 

post #4696 of 4834

Mackenzi Lee has written a YA novel about Loki for Marvel that presents the character as genderfluid and pansexual. She's received some pushback:

 

 

Not only has this been a part of the comics for about 10 years now, since Loki died after Ragnarok, came back to life as a woman, got turned into a kid and grew into a Hiddleston-inspired young man that hits on everyone, but it goes way back to Norse Mythology. You know, the stories in which Loki, as a man, gives birth to a horse. 

 

Fanboys are the worst.

post #4697 of 4834
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bartleby_Scriven View Post

Mackenzi Lee has written a YA novel about Loki for Marvel that presents the character as genderfluid and pansexual. She's received some pushback:






Not only has this been a part of the comics for about 10 years now, since Loki died after Ragnarok, came back to life as a woman, got turned into a kid and grew into a Hiddleston-inspired young man that hits on everyone, but it goes way back to Norse Mythology. You know, the stories in which Loki, as a man, gives birth to a horse. 

Fanboys are the worst.
I’d wager the people who complain about this shit largely think that Norse mythology was invented by Marvel to sell Thor comics.
post #4698 of 4834

I’m so tired of Marvel going “oh, Loki, he’s genderfluid, he’s pansexual.”

 

The man turned into a horse, people. He’s a furry.

post #4699 of 4834
Damn straight.
post #4700 of 4834
Quote:
Originally Posted by commodorejohn View Post

Damn straight.

Doesn't sound like that's the case.
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