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XXX: THE RETURN OF XANDER CAGE

post #1 of 91
Thread Starter 

First trailer.

 

 

He just slalomed off of a fucking tree.  

post #2 of 91
Thread Starter 

How in the fuck do you ride a motorcycle on top of water?

post #3 of 91
Vin Diesel IS:

XXXTREME JESUS
post #4 of 91

I'm conflicted.  On one hand, I do want to see this.  On the other, this looks awful.

post #5 of 91
In a just world it would be his Riddick movies that were the billion dollar franchise. I've enjoyed all three...probably more than anything else in his filmography ('cept GOTG)..
post #6 of 91
Asia Argento pulled me into the first one (that, and the fact that the villain looks like an evil version of NHL goalie Eddie Belfour). It was OK fun.

Never saw the second.

Is Argento in this?
post #7 of 91

Why is he doing this anyway? The FURIOUS films are so much better and make tons of money.

 

Less Xander Cage...MORE RIDDICK!

post #8 of 91
I'll probably see this.
post #9 of 91
Quote:
Originally Posted by Lightning Slim View Post

Asia Argento pulled me into the first one (that, and the fact that the villain looks like an evil version of NHL goalie Eddie Belfour). It was OK fun.

Never saw the second.

Is Argento in this?
I'll give it this. There's no way this'll be worse than XXX2.

...well, ok it IS possible but they'd really have to come up with something unimaginably wretched to sink lower than that turd..
post #10 of 91
Ice Cube is the Lazenby of the XXXCU.
post #11 of 91
I don't care how many decades pass....XXX2 does NOT have an OHMSS-like reappraisal waiting for it ever....not that you were suggesting that..
post #12 of 91
Quote:
Originally Posted by Judas Booth View Post
 

How in the fuck do you ride a motorcycle on top of water?

 

post #13 of 91
This looks so goofy. It's like a time capsule from the early 00s.
post #14 of 91

fffffffuuuuuuuucccccck yeeeeaaaaahhhhhhh

 

Welcome back to THA XANDER ZONE BAYBEEEEEE!!!

 

Hey, if Tony Hawk can pull of another 1080 at age 47, then Diez Nuts can downhill ski through a fuckin jungle. I believe.

post #15 of 91
Can we see a spinoff movie with burned face Sam Jackson vs eye patch Sam Jackson?
post #16 of 91

Donnie Yen plays the big villain? I refuse to believe that Vin Diesel could defeat Donnie Yen in any world, cinematic or otherwise.

post #17 of 91
Hey, that's a good villain!

Knowing Hollywood, they probably won't even have one good scrap though..
post #18 of 91

Yeah, like Tony Jaa (who's also in this) fighting Paul Walker in Furious 7? That was such a waste of a Jaa.

post #19 of 91
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by PeJota View Post
 

Yeah, like Tony Jaa (who's also in this) fighting Paul Walker in Furious 7? That was such a waste of a Jaa.

 

That should have been a three second fight that ended with Paul Walker's character in a coma.

post #20 of 91
Quote:
Originally Posted by Judas Booth View Post
 

First trailer.

 

 

He just slalomed off of a fucking tree.  

"Just kick some ass--and try to look dope while doing it."

 

Yeah there's no doubt in my mind they're taking a page from the recent Fast films (which I guess the first film technically did the same for the original film so....): crazy action while being completely self-aware how goofy it is.

 

I think I'm okay with this.

post #21 of 91

The trailer makes this look like a good movie to watch if you want something to take your mind off the impending Y2K bug.

post #22 of 91

The skiing-down-a-regular-ol'-hill followed by the motorcyclin'-on-the-ocean made me grin, I have to admit it. 

 

The first one was weirdly fun even though it was objectively bad. I'm a mark for Vin so that's probably all that was. I will say that the best dialogue was not in the movie but rather in Cohen's commentary. That guy is something else.

 

There were some great stunts though, for sure. 

post #23 of 91
I used to love movies that were about jumping off things.
post #24 of 91

getting better and better!

 

post #25 of 91
So the summer movie season begins January 20th.
post #26 of 91

They are FAMILY!

post #27 of 91
"What if we crossed a 'Fast and the Furious' movie with another 'Fast and the Furious' movie?"
post #28 of 91
Thread Starter 

Donnie Yen, Tony Jaa.  Hell yes.

post #29 of 91
Quote:
Originally Posted by mcnooj82 View Post

getting better and better!


Wow
post #30 of 91
Quote:
Originally Posted by Agentsands77 View Post


Wow

post #31 of 91

Oh boy, Tony Gonzalez. In a movie.

post #32 of 91

Who?

post #33 of 91

He's a former football player. He's the guy in the trailer that Diesel has removed from the airplane.

 

Guess he's aiming for a Howie Long-like film career.

post #34 of 91
Quote:
Originally Posted by mcnooj82 View Post


There isn't enough rep in the world for this.
post #35 of 91

just rep me for my usual middle of the road nonsense posts to balance it out!

post #36 of 91
Why on Earth are we seeing sequels to movies no one really liked or barely remembers 5-15 years after they were released? I'm not even bitching, I'm just trying to weed out the logic here.
post #37 of 91

Cause Vin Diesel thinks it's because of him the new Fast & Furious movie made over a billion dollars.

 

The Pacifier: Part II is almost here.

post #38 of 91

Vin Diesel had a high dice roll.

post #39 of 91

Johnny's probably asking more in general...

 

like the recent flops of Alice In Wonderland 2... Inferno... and now even XXX.

 

Whatever you can greenlight with some kind of name-recognition and some starpower, I guess.

post #40 of 91

Maybe they think of it more as a reboot with name recognition than a sequel?  Just with the same actor and ideas.  Better than taking a risk on some fancy new idea that nobody's ever seen before.

post #41 of 91

Yeah I don't know how some of these sequels get off the ground. What's next? ESCAPE PLAN 2? I mean really.

post #42 of 91
It's the same as with game adaptations, they keep churning them out even though not a single one of them has been a legit hit.
post #43 of 91
It's probably just because it comes off like a 'smart play' on a studio's release schedule.

"Yea green light that. Job well done! What's for lunch???"
post #44 of 91
This looks like it time warped from 2003..
post #45 of 91

No love for chunky Ice- Cube here?

post #46 of 91
OH HELL YEA
post #47 of 91
Quote:
Originally Posted by Moltisanti View Post
 

Yeah I don't know how some of these sequels get off the ground. What's next? ESCAPE PLAN 2? I mean really.

 

I'd watch it.

post #48 of 91
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bill View Post
 

 

I'd watch it.

 

As would I. Or should I say as will I. Wink.

post #49 of 91

Yeah, I'm gonna see this.

 

It looks like the movie Spectre should've been.*

 

 

 

(*if it was directed by Lee Tamahori)

post #50 of 91
This reminds of the Mechanic sequel that came out a while back. Does anyone aside from The People Who Llive Under The B-Movie Action Thread even remember that movie? Statham has a low ceiling so it doesn't matter what you put him in because he's not going to break it.

I wonder if this is some sort of studio PsyOps where they make a sequel to a movie no one cares about with the intention of tricking audiences into thinking that the mere existence of a sequel must surely suggest demand and that demand must suggest quality.
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