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Trumpocalypse Now - Page 439

post #21901 of 32671
I had a chocolate chip cookie. It was pretty good.
post #21902 of 32671


Cheers, ya fucks.
post #21903 of 32671

So Trump is now admitting Russian interference, and hopes he can get the public to believe that Obama hid it because Putin was so Pro-Hillary?  I mean, he can sell that shit to his 35%, but surely nobody else could buy this, right?

 

RIGHT???

post #21904 of 32671
What Schwartz isn't saying is that's him at a strip club. He can't have fun anywhere.
post #21905 of 32671
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bailey View Post

So Trump is now admitting Russian interference, and hopes he can get the public to believe that Obama hid it because Putin was so Pro-Hillary?  I mean, he can sell that shit to his 35%, but surely nobody else could buy this, right?

RIGHT???

It's not like he even knows. But flinging random shit at the walls hasn't really failed him yet.
Edited by Schwartz - 6/23/17 at 11:55pm
post #21906 of 32671
Quote:
Originally Posted by JacknifeJohnny View Post

What Schwartz isn't saying is that's him at a strip club. He can't have fun anywhere.

Are you kidding? Nothing screams fun as loud as paying 300 bucks to not quite jizz in your pants.

Actual location: Sheffield's pub, about half a mile south of Wrigley. Jackknife could have been here with me if he wasn't so durn yellow.
post #21907 of 32671
Quote:
Originally Posted by Schwartz View Post


Are you kidding? Nothing screams fun as loud as paying 300 bucks to not quite jizz in your pants.


Amateur.

 

Schwartz, you'll always be LeVar Burton to me.  It's always a shock seeing anything else.

post #21908 of 32671

 Tonight I will use not drink but Rogue One to numb the pain of living in Trump's America. Say what you will about that flick, but at least the fascists lose in it.

post #21909 of 32671
The visor is in my purse.
post #21910 of 32671
We've decided to sit in tonight and watch John Waters films to celebrate America.
post #21911 of 32671
Quote:
Originally Posted by Raynis View Post

We've decided to sit in tonight and watch John Waters films to celebrate America.


Excellent choice!  He really captures a lot of honest reflections about the American psyche.

post #21912 of 32671

My new dealer doesn't have much of a business ethic concerning customer satisfaction and I got turned down for a job today, so I'm drinking coffee until both my eyes are in the same socket.

post #21913 of 32671
post #21914 of 32671
Quote:
Originally Posted by Schwartz View Post

Are you kidding? Nothing screams fun as loud as paying 300 bucks to not quite jizz in your pants.

Actual location: Sheffield's pub, about half a mile south of Wrigley. Jackknife could have been here with me if he wasn't so durn yellow.


I was all set to come to Chicago, I even watched a company produced video made for employees who were relocating to the Windy City...
post #21915 of 32671
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bailey View Post
 

So Trump is now admitting Russian interference, and hopes he can get the public to believe that Obama hid it because Putin was so Pro-Hillary?  I mean, he can sell that shit to his 35%, but surely nobody else could buy this, right?

 

RIGHT???


He doesn't really admit anything. He's just referring to what the article says (since he gets all his information from the media). The tweet actually makes two possible pro-Trump points at the same time.

 

1. Obama didn't do anything because Russia really tried to help Clinton.

2. Obama didn't do anything because Russia didn't interfere with the election. It's just more FAKE NEWS!

post #21916 of 32671
I repeat the following facts to myself on a daily basis:

He's 71 years old
His diet is so, so very shitty
His exercise routine is non-existent
He (allegedly) yells at cable news at night time
Oh, and he currently has the world's most stressful job, combined with mounting scandals and consistent self destruction
post #21917 of 32671
Who the fuck is ignorant enough to believe that the Russian interference could've been for ANY other reason than to hurt Clinton?

I already know the answer to that. It was purely rhetorical..
post #21918 of 32671

Besides Trump?

post #21919 of 32671
Quote:
Originally Posted by Seabass Inna Bun View Post

Besides Trump?
If Trump himself believes it then he's more of a deluded idiot than I already think he is..
post #21920 of 32671
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jexxon View Post
 


He doesn't really admit anything. He's just referring to what the article says (since he gets all his information from the media). The tweet actually makes two possible pro-Trump points at the same time.

 

1. Obama didn't do anything because Russia really tried to help Clinton.

2. Obama didn't do anything because Russia didn't interfere with the election. It's just more FAKE NEWS!

 

I agree he's not exactly admitting anything, but I really don't think he's saying the latter.  He'd be far more obvious about it if he were.  (Someone might get to him and try to spin it that way at a later date, however.)  And the first point makes absolutely no sense.  Nothing Putin has said or done could lead anyone to believe he'd be willing to help Obama or Hillary.  But that is what he's trying to imply.

post #21921 of 32671

I don't know if he believes it or not, but his ignorance is boundless.

post #21922 of 32671

Trump is the ultimate "I meant to do that" guy...

 

post #21923 of 32671
Quote:
Originally Posted by mondguy View Post

I repeat the following facts to myself on a daily basis:

He's 71 years old
His diet is so, so very shitty
His exercise routine is non-existent
He (allegedly) yells at cable news at night time
Oh, and he currently has the world's most stressful job, combined with mounting scandals and consistent self destruction

Sorry to burst your bubble, but I don't want nature to run its course here.
I don't want this hateful, selfish bastard to get Scott free in life of his crimes, lies and the consequences of it.
I want to see him humiliated, broken and in utter despair as his castle of lies, hatred, ignorance and greed collapses, and he can see, from behind bars, that his name will be cursed forever, spat out as a synonym of traitor, for as along as humanity endures.
There is no fairness in him escaping justice and punishment.
post #21924 of 32671
"Yes, the Russians -- despite a number of them having business and/or political ties to apparently everyone in your administration -- tried to tip the election in Hillary's favor, and that's why Obama sat on his hands, Donald. You figured it out, you genius you!"

-Trump supporters rn
post #21925 of 32671
Quote:
Originally Posted by ryoken View Post

Sorry to burst your bubble, but I don't want nature to run its course here.
I don't want this hateful, selfish bastard to get Scott free in life of his crimes, lies and the consequences of it.
I want to see him humiliated, broken and in utter despair as his castle of lies, hatred, ignorance and greed collapses, and he can see, from behind bars, that his name will be cursed forever, spat out as a synonym of traitor, for as along as humanity endures.
There is no fairness in him escaping justice and punishment.
Sorry to burst YOUR bubble but....you'd better just go ahead and start mentally preparing yourself now (I know I have been) because he most likely will NOT get the comeuppance that we all crave. Life just isn't that fair. Karma is a lie. What goes around almost NEVER comes around. Believe me....I'd love nothing more than to see him being loaded into the back of a police car while going into Paris Hilton like hysterics. This, sadly...is reality. We'll most likely never get to see him go through the "DON'T YOU KNOW WHO I AM?!" moment (and then get headbutted by Van Damme or something) while frothing at the mouth and losing it.

If that day DOES come...believe me....the first rounds on me! And we gonna get shit faced and rewatch that clip over and over and over..
post #21926 of 32671
I'm going to burst my own bubble.
post #21927 of 32671
We should all be totally out of bubbles by now..
post #21928 of 32671

I'd like to hear one of his daily tantrums he's said to have.  Just one, though.  That man's voice is like ear-rape.

post #21929 of 32671
Quote:
Originally Posted by Fraid uh noman View Post

Who the fuck is ignorant enough to believe that the Russian interference could've been for ANY other reason than to hurt Clinton?

I already know the answer to that. It was purely rhetorical..

An aggressive posture toward Russia was the backbone of Clinton's election campaign. It was the only thing she didn't prevaricate on. Of course keeping her out of the White House was the motive.

I've been skeptical about Russiagate from day one, because it's such an outlandish thing to accuse someone of, but the case in the Washington Post article seems to be convincingly, damningly made.

I'll never understand why the word didn't go out to state election boards to roll back their voter registries to the last known good backup from before the dates of the hacks, but it's easy to say "if only" at any point in this long story. Chuck Schumer begged the FBI in writing to release what they knew before the election. The systemic failure on display in that article will be taught in schools for generations.
post #21930 of 32671
Trump supporters are just an over the top, cartoonishly stupid lot. I wish someone that THEY would listen to would start calling Trump a liar and pointing all of his contradictions and stupid shit out and just basically shitting on him publicly every chance they get.

Someone like Larry the cable guy.

Sadly...I'm only half joking really because I seriously would not be surprised if they listened to someone like him. Somebody find out if he's a democrat! Larry the cable guy could save the country!
post #21931 of 32671

Not all Trump supporters are stupid, some are greedy.  Plenty of them knew what sort of president Trump would be, but had their eye on the tax breaks for their fellow billionaires or deregulation of the industries they happen to own or in which they have large investments.

post #21932 of 32671
Wife is out, so I'm drinking alone and watching Maher. Not improving my mood.
post #21933 of 32671
Quote:
Originally Posted by Fraid uh noman View Post

Trump supporters are just an over the top, cartoonishly stupid lot. I wish someone that THEY would listen to would start calling Trump a liar and pointing all of his contradictions and stupid shit out and just basically shitting on him publicly every chance they get.

Someone like Larry the cable guy.

Sadly...I'm only half joking really because I seriously would not be surprised if they listened to someone like him. Somebody find out if he's a democrat! Larry the cable guy could save the country!

Well I saw him throw a Michael Moore DVD away once.

post #21934 of 32671
That might've just been because it wasn't fullscreen..
post #21935 of 32671

It happened on the Tonight show.

post #21936 of 32671
post #21937 of 32671
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bailey View Post
 

 

I agree he's not exactly admitting anything, but I really don't think he's saying the latter.  He'd be far more obvious about it if he were.  (Someone might get to him and try to spin it that way at a later date, however.)  And the first point makes absolutely no sense.  Nothing Putin has said or done could lead anyone to believe he'd be willing to help Obama or Hillary.  But that is what he's trying to imply.


Yes, the possible future spin was what I was talking about with point number two. That's how everything has worked so far. Air quotes, using "media words", tweets that speak for themselves and so on. Trump isn't just dumb and senile. He is delusional and dumb even compared to other delusional dumb people. He simply can't shut up and stop saying shit that doesn't make any sense or digs him a deeper hole. He thinks this tweet makes him look good. He somehow thought that what Comey testified about was good for Trump. He says so many dumb things that he managed to break his own press staff in less than six months. He's too dumb to let them defend him, so they gave up instead.

post #21938 of 32671
Quote:
Originally Posted by Seabass Inna Bun View Post
 

Not all Trump supporters are stupid, some are greedy.  Plenty of them knew what sort of president Trump would be, but had their eye on the tax breaks for their fellow billionaires or deregulation of the industries they happen to own or in which they have large investments.

 

What?  There are not "plenty" of billionaires out there.  The 1%, by definition, cannot make up more than 1% of the electorate.

 

They may be more influential, but I'm losing track of what you're getting at at this point.


Edited by Schwartz - 6/24/17 at 12:20am
post #21939 of 32671
Quote:
Originally Posted by Schwartz View Post
 

 

What?  There are not "plenty" of billionaires out there.  The 1%, by definition, cannot make up more than 1% of the electorate.

 

They may be more influential, but I'm losing track of what you're getting at at this point.

 

And even rich people siding with Drumpf are stupid. Unless you're REALLY old and don't have any kids you give a damn about, making a few extra short-term bucks in exchange for great long-term harm and instability to the nation as a whole is a TERRIBLE trade.

 

But that's just another myth that the last year has exposed: in reality, most rich people aren't particularly smart.

post #21940 of 32671
Quote:
Originally Posted by mondguy View Post

I repeat the following facts to myself on a daily basis:

He's 71 years old
His diet is so, so very shitty
His exercise routine is non-existent
He (allegedly) yells at cable news at night time
Oh, and he currently has the world's most stressful job, combined with mounting scandals and consistent self destruction

 

This is something I keep saying to myself and friends. As miserable as you are, he is even more so. We're gonna go on and have good days, have days filled with joy and love. They may be few and far between, but they will happen. 

 

His last good day was November 7, 2016, and he knows it. He may smile and put on a show for the cameras, but inside, he is as he's always been, a scared little boy whose father never loved him, who spent his years in pursuit of wealth and things and power to fill the emptiness inside, and when he finally achieved the position of the most powerful person in the world, it did absolutely nothing for him. The emptiness was still there. 

 

As miserable as you are, he is even more so. 

Reread this, too: 

http://lithub.com/rebecca-solnit-the-loneliness-of-donald-trump/

post #21941 of 32671
Last night, I got comfortably toasted on a variety of delicious, high ABV ales at my favorite brewery. Then I engaged in spirited debate with my Dad and cousin over Star Wars. It was a good night.

Then I wake up and see that orange cunt has changed his story again to acknowledge Russia's interference, just as a means to throw more shit at Obama. And now I'm angry again.
post #21942 of 32671

This joke, with some modifications, brought to you by twitter.

 

Bernie and Jane Sanders were out to dinner with some friends last night, but the place they were at didn't have dinner rolls ready.

 

Afterwards, while walking to their cars, one of the friends remarked that even if there were dinner rolls ready, no one at the table might have eaten them.

 

Jane turned to the friend and said:

 

"Bernie would have one." 

post #21943 of 32671
Bernie and Jane are lawyering up today because they're being investigated for bank fraud.
post #21944 of 32671
Quote:
Originally Posted by Raynis View Post

Bernie and Jane are lawyering up today because they're being investigated for bank fraud.

 

Wow. Yup: 

http://www.politico.com/magazine/story/2017/06/22/bernie-sanders-jane-sanders-lawyer-bank-fraud-investigation-burlington-college-215297

 

(I want to believe that this really was started under Obama, and the Jane Sanders stories have gone back to the primary, but man, this is not good timing.)

post #21945 of 32671
Quote:
Originally Posted by Raynis View Post

Annnnd now he's just admitted that Russia meddled in the election that resulted in his presidency.


Gee, maybe because Trump's campaign speeches toward the end were all about how the election was going to be rigged against Trump and voters might need to take up arms to install him in power?
post #21946 of 32671

Quote:

Originally Posted by Raynis View Post

Bernie and Jane are lawyering up today because they're being investigated for bank fraud.

 

Goddamn am I glad I never got caught up in that hustle. 

 

On the other hand: goddamn it sucks that so many people got caught up in that hustle.

post #21947 of 32671
Quote:
Originally Posted by Reasor View Post

Gee, maybe because Trump's campaign speeches toward the end were all about how the election was going to be rigged against Trump and voters might need to take up arms to install him in power?
Could this sentient orange ball sack be any more infuriating? It's hard to express just how much he makes me wanna puke without crossing over into "now I'm being monitored by the NSA and FBI" territory..
post #21948 of 32671

And also: holy shit is that fucking nuts.

post #21949 of 32671

The strategic stance of Revolution Messaging might be up for questioning now. They were running a digital campaign that, in retrospect, seems exceptionally similar to Trump's Cambridge Analytics operation.

 

Who the fuck is Jeff Weaver, anyway? Yeah, let's take a real close look at Revolution Messaging. Lets do that. I think it might be relevant.

post #21950 of 32671

How do you say 'MATCH ME!' in Russian?

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